Winter Is Not Forever

by Janette Oke

  After getting myself dressed I fussed and polished and smoothed and patted and all the time I kept an eye on the clock. I caught Grandpa and Uncle Charlie exchanging grins and winks now and then, but I paid no mind to them.

  I had intended to ride Chester; then I thought that maybe Camellia would be anxious for a chat. We could go for a little drive if I had the sleigh, so I harnessed up the team instead. I threw in a warm blanket so Camellia could bundle up and keep warm, then finally headed off for town.

  I was still early, but I couldn’t bear to wait another minute. Besides, I had to stop at the store to pick out a box of candy.

  I had looked a couple of times before but hadn’t been able to make up my mind.

  When I reached the store I tied the team and went back to the candy counter. The girl behind the glassed-in goodies looked at me with a friendly smile on her face. She was new in the store, but I recognized her as one of the Tilley girls. We had gone to school in town together but she was younger, so I hadn’t paid much attention to her. I didn’t know if she expected me to greet her now or not. I said “Howdy,” but I kept it very impersonal.

  I still didn’t know which candy to buy, and after trying to sort it out in my thinking for some time I finally blurted out, “If a fella brought you candy, what would you like best?”

  She smiled rather coyly and picked out a large box of assorted flavors.

  “That one?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll take it,” I said and started to count out the money. “Could you wrap it nicely for me please?” I asked, and she nodded and went into a back room. When she returned and handed me the package, I could see she had done a good job with the wrapping. I smiled and thanked her, took the package, and left.

  It wasn’t far enough from the store to the station to justify driving the team. Besides, some horses spooked at the train as it whistled and chugged its way into town. I didn’t want to have my mind worried with skittery horses.

  I kept checking the watch that Aunt Lou and Uncle Nat had given me for my twenty-first birthday. At one point I was sure it must have stopped, but when I put it to my ear it was still ticking.

  “I’ll just explode if it’s late,” I said to myself, kicking a small pile of frozen snow near the walk. I was immediately sorry. The snow splattered all over the toe of my boot, and I had to get down and wipe it off with my handkerchief. I hoped that the handkerchief wouldn’t be needed any further. It sure wouldn’t do to pull it out in public all smeared up like it was now.

  My impatience reminded me of the childhood game Willie had referred to in his letter, and I smiled at the memory. We loved to watch the reaction of people in trying circumstances; only we had never realized that waiting for a late train was so trying.

  I had been vaguely aware that the platform was crowded, but I hadn’t really looked to see if I knew anyone. In fact, I hadn’t really paid much attention at all until I heard a shout, “It’s coming!” and then I saw Willie’s folks lined up on the platform just down from me. Most of the other folks I knew, too, at least by sight. I spotted Mary Turley and I smiled to myself. Willie might insist that they were “just friends,” but didn’t her presence verify my suspicions?

  That’s nice, I thought to myself. Mary would make a wonderful missionary’s wife. She’s kind and caring, even attractive in her own way.

  The train blew its whistle then and I forgot all about the crowd of people. I forgot all about Willie’s family and even Mary Turley. All I could think about was Camellia. My throat got dry and my eyes moist and my knees felt so weak I felt that I might go down in a heap.

  I saw Willie first. He looked about twice as big as I had remembered him. He had on a new coat. I unreasonably thought it strange to see Willie in clothes I hadn’t seen before. He looked taller and broader and much more grown-up. But his smile was the same. He yelled, “Hi, Josh!” my direction; then he saw his folks and he turned from me and wrapped his mother in his arms.

  I searched over the tops of heads to watch for Camellia to appear on the train steps. I was beginning to fear something had happened and she had changed her mind. Folks seemed to have stopped coming from the train, and then Willie broke from his folks and dashed back up the steps again and when he returned he was carrying a large suitcase and an armful of parcels. Just behind, looking even more beautiful than I had remembered, was Camellia.

  Her coppery hair was still wisping about her face, but in a much more grown-up style than the flowing waves of her girlhood. Her coat was a soft green color and it accented her creamy cheeks and her beautiful eyes. For a moment my breath caught in my throat, and I couldn’t move or speak. Her eyes sorted through the crowd that was left; then she looked directly at me and cried, “Josh!”

  Somehow I managed to get my feet going, and I moved myself forward toward Willie and Camellia. Willie grabbed me first and as we hugged one another, I remember thinking that he was likely making an awful mess of the box of candy I held in my hands.

  Then he let go of me and I was standing there facing Camellia. She laughed softly and reached up to my shoulder.

  “You’ve grown, Josh,” she said in a teasing voice. I just nodded dumbly.

  Then she pushed herself up on her tiptoes and with one hand on the back of my head to tip it forward, she kissed me right on the cheek. I wanted to reach out and pull her to me and kiss her again, but I couldn’t move. She moved back rather quickly and looked at me again.

  “I gave Willie permission to tell you the good news, but I want to fill in all the details myself. I know you’ve prayed for me for a long time, Josh—and I thank you. But I still need your prayers. It isn’t going to be easy to see Mamma.”

  I nodded again. I still hadn’t managed to speak a word to Camellia.

  “I wrote Mamma that I was coming, but I asked her not to meet the train,” Camellia went on. “I have a feeling that our meeting might be a bit emotional.”

  I just nodded again.

  “I promised her that I would go directly to her.”

  I swallowed and nodded the third time. Her plans were reasonable enough.

  And then she laughed again and her beautiful hair swirled as she flipped her head. “We have so much to talk about,” she said. “Can you come over about three-thirty? I’m just dying to tell you everything.” She stopped and looked at me again. “And to hear how things have been going with you,” she concluded.

  Willie and Mary were chatting excitedly beside us, but I didn’t hear a word they said. I was too filled with the sight of Camellia.

  I finally found my voice. “Three-thirty,” I promised, then remembered the box of candy that I still held in my hand. I thrust it forward. The bow was lopsided and the paper a bit crumpled, but I guess Camellia understood.

  “Welcome home,” I managed.

  “It’s so good to be home,” she said softly, and her eyes were misty with unshed tears.

  Before I could say anything more, Camellia and Willie were moving away. Camellia was being greeted by his family, and I knew that she and all of her belongings would be loaded in the waiting sleigh and driven off to see her mother.

  I berated myself for not having the foresight to bring the team right to the station. I could have been the one taking Camellia home.

  But three-thirty really wasn’t that long to wait. And I had some shopping to do. Now the fancy jewelry not only seemed like a good idea, but a must. I hurried off down the street to give myself plenty of time. I couldn’t remember being so excited or so happy in all my life.

  CHAPTER 16

  The “Call”

  IT TOOK ME QUITE A WHILE to find the piece of jewelry that was just right for Camellia. There wasn’t a necklace or bracelet in town with a ring to match, so I had to settle for something else.

  I finally found a chain with a cameo so delicate that it looked like it had been made just for her. It still wasn’t as pretty as the wearer would be, but nothing could hope to compete with Camellia.

 
I had the clerk wrap it prettily, and I carefully tucked it into the inside pocket of my coat. I didn’t want to take any chances on this special package getting messed up.

  I finished my shopping shortly before three-thirty; feeling generous and a bit lightheaded, I decided to go buy Sarah some peppermint patties. Pocketing the candy, I headed for Aunt Lou’s.

  Sarah came running to meet me. “Hi, Unca Dosh,” she called, then stopped and with great concentration started over.

  It was obvious that someone had been schooling her. “Uncale-J-dosh,” she managed, quite proud of herself for including the proper consonants. I picked her up and kissed her, congratulating her profusely for her accomplishment. She grinned, obviously pleased with the effect of her speech.

  “You come to see us?” she asked.

  “No, not really. I’m going to see another—lady.” I blushed even as I spoke the words.

  “But you’re here,” she corrected me.

  “Not for long. I’m going to leave again.”

  “Why?” she asked, looking about to cry.

  “Because,” I answered gleefully, and even young Sarah should have caught the excitement that I felt.

  “Mamma’s in the bedroom feeding my brudder,” she informed me.

  “Well, I didn’t come to see Mamma either,” I answered. “Why?” she asked again.

  “Because,” I said, drawing out the small bag of peppermint patties, “because I’ve been to the store.”

  She squealed when she saw the bag, knowing it was for her.

  Aunt Lou called from the bedroom, “I’ll be right out, Josh.”

  “Don’t hurry,” I called back. “I can’t stay. I just dropped by with something for Sarah.”

  “You’re heading home?”

  I couldn’t keep the excitement from my voice. “No, I’m on my way over to Camellia’s. She wanted to see her ma alone first.”

  Aunt Lou was silent for a minute; then her voice came back softly to me.

  “I’ll be praying for you, Josh.”

  I didn’t feel that I needed much prayer at the moment. All my prayers—and my dreams—had finally been answered. With a light step I started out for Camellia’s, leaving the team tied in the churchyard. There wasn’t much room for hitching horses outside the boardinghouse, and in the middle of the business day I was sure all of the room would be taken. I had been to see Mrs. Foggelson several times over the years since she had taken up residence in the rambling building.

  I paced myself so that it was three-thirty-one when I was let into the boardinghouse hallway, and a moment later I was knocking on the door marked Number Four, my heart knocking just as hard on the inside.

  Camellia answered the door. She took my hand and drew me in, exclaiming as she did so, “Mamma has just been telling me how kind you’ve been over the years, Josh. I will never be able to thank you.”

  But Camellia was wrong. The light in her eyes was more than enough to thank me for the little I had done.

  She led me into the small, crowded room that served as Mrs. Foggelson’s parlor, sewing room, and living quarters. It was even more crowded now, with Camellia’s luggage and packages littered about the room.

  “Please excuse our mess,” Camellia said with a wave of her hand and pushed aside enough packages for me to find room on the sofa.

  “I haven’t had time to put things away,” she explained, then sighed deeply. “And I have no idea where I’ll find room to put it when I do get the time.” A silvery laugh followed the words. It was so much like Camellia, so vitally alive—and unpredictable.

  She turned to me then and looked me over carefully again. I blushed under her frank scrutiny and shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, Josh,” she began, “it is so good to be home.”

  I looked at this beautiful girl-turned-woman. All the things that I longed to be able to express died in my throat. I could only nod and mumble something about it being good to have her home again.

  The dress she was wearing was unlike anything I had seen before. The collar was high and shaped to highlight her face; the bodice fitted her well-shaped waist and then flared out in a skirt that swirled as she moved. The sleeves came down to her wrists and tapered to a point over the back of her hand. The color was a soft blue-green, and it accented her hair and eyes beautifully.

  “Where do we start?” she was saying. “We have so much to catch up on.”

  Then she swung toward me. “Oh, my! My manners. Let me take your coat and hat.”

  That special gift was secreted carefully in my coat pocket. I was twirling my hat nervously in my hands. She laid them both on a chair nearby.

  “Would you like some tea?” she asked.

  I nodded and said that would be nice. I really didn’t care for tea, but I hoped by drinking it my tongue might be loosened. “Mamma had to deliver some sewing,” Camellia informed me as she went about putting the kettle on to heat on an electric plate on a small corner table. I hadn’t even thought to wonder where Mrs. Foggelson was.

  “She said she wouldn’t be long.”

  I hoped that Mrs. Foggelson didn’t hurry too much.

  I watched Camellia as she put the tea in the pot and tapped her trim foot impatiently, waiting for the kettle to boil. Then she poured the water, drew two plain white cups from a small shelf, and set them on the table. There was hardly room for the cups and saucers, so after Camellia had poured the tea she brought me my cup.

  “So, Joshua Jones,” Camellia said in a teasing voice as she settled herself on the sofa beside me, “what have you been doing with yourself in the past million years?”

  She emphasized the million, and I found myself agreeing. In fact, the last twelve days had seemed about that long.

  “Nothing, really,” I answered. “Farming.”

  “Mamma says that you are really knowledgeable about farming. That you are trying new things and—”

  Secretly I blessed Mrs. Foggelson for saying something nice about what I had been doing at the farm. I was also excited to know that the two of them had been talking about me.

  “Some,” I cut in modestly. “But mostly I’ve been just waiting—an’ praying.”

  Camellia’s teasing eyes sobered.

  “I know,” she said in not much more than a whisper. “And I thank you.”

  She sipped her tea slowly and then set her cup aside. I was surprised to see that tears had gathered in her eyes.

  “I honestly don’t know why you and Willie didn’t give up on me long ago. I was so stubborn. So blind. I don’t know why

  I couldn’t see that you were telling me the truth all the time.

  That you were only interested in my good.

  “Do you know what I used to think?” she said after a pause. “I used to think, ‘These people are dumb. They are unlearned and they have one thing in mind only. To get me to be just as dumb and dependent as they are so that they can chalk up points for saving the most people.’ That’s what I actually thought. It was a long time until Willie could convince me that he was really concerned about me. That he knew that without God I was lost, doomed for eternity, and he cared about me.”

  Camellia twisted a coppery curl around a finger as she spoke. With all my heart I wanted to reach out and take one of those curls in my fingers but I held myself in check.

  “And then this—this thing with Mamma and Papa happened. I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t bear to think of them living in two houses, many miles from one another.

  “I had always been a daddy’s girl.You know that. Well, I was sure that this whole thing must be Mamma’s fault. I hated her. Honestly, Josh, I hated her. I couldn’t understand why she had done this to Papa. I knew that she had at one time believed in God. I decided if she could do that to my papa and still pretend to have known the truth—even if Papa had forbidden her to go to church—then I wanted no part of religion.”

  She sighed and flipped her hair back from her face.

  “Well, Willie still wouldn’t give up. He kept
inviting me to Bible studies and to church and we had lots of talks and arguments—” She stopped and laughed as she recalled.

  “Then one day I did—I’ll never know why—I did agree to go to a Bible study with him. Well, that was the beginning.” She laughed again.

  “And who would have ever dreamed the end?” she said and her eyes shone. “I was home alone in my room one night, reading over again the portion we had read in Bible study. It was John 5:24: ‘I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.’ Suddenly I believed it. I really believed it! Somehow I understood. I was evil, I knew that, but I could, by believing and accepting, pass from death to life.

  “I have always been afraid of death, Josh. I wanted life. So, alone there in my room, I turned my life over to God, thanking Him that His Son had taken my condemnation, just as the verse said. And now I am enrolled in Willie’s Bible college instead of working at the telephone office.”

  “Really?” I said excitedly. “I didn’t know that.”

  “Really! And I am learning so much, but there is so much that I don’t know. Now I wonder how in the world I could have been so—so stupid as to believe all of those lies.” “Blinded,” I corrected.

  “Blinded—and stupid,” she finished with a laugh.

  I set my cup aside. I had wanted to hear all about Camellia’s conversion, but I wanted to talk about other things, too. If she was enrolled in college then—

  “So you aren’t staying home here, with your ma?” I asked. I didn’t know if I was ready to hear her reply.

  “Oh no,” she answered quickly. “We only have a week.”

  “We?”

  “Willie and I.”

  Of course. I had forgotten that they were both going to the same school now. They would need to be back to classes at the same time.

  “Willie should be here any minute,” she said, eying the clock impatiently.

  “Willie?” I puzzled.