Not What I Expected

by Jewel E. Ann

  “Shut up.” I laced my fingers behind his neck and pulled him to me.

  Our hands turned into frantic claws ripping off clothes as our feet tangled and stumbled, navigating to the bathroom.

  I had sex with him to prove I wasn’t bothered by Amber—totally normal forty-two-year-old behavior.

  “I think I like you spying on me.” Kael ran a hand through his wet hair, towel loosely clinging to his waist.

  “I wasn’t spying on you.” I buttoned my pink and white flannel shirt and tucked the front into my skinny jeans. “I was taking a walk.”

  “Down a dead-end road?” He let the towel drop to the floor.

  My gaze shifted to his exposed cock like it compelled me to do it. When I forced a sharp correction and found his eyes overflowing with confidence from my wandering gaze, I escaped into the bathroom to dry my hair. “It’s a nice wooded area. I’ve walked up and down that drive many times. It’s not unusual to spot deer or foxes around their property.” I turned on my hairdryer before he could quiz me anymore on my walking route.

  By the time I finished drying my hair and applying a little makeup, he was nowhere in sight. I peeked out the window overlooking the front yard. No truck in my driveway.

  Kael Hendricks was everything I thought I wanted in my so-called midlife crisis.

  Sexy.

  Kind.

  Unattached.

  Then why did I struggle so much with having exactly what I thought I wanted?

  Chapter Fourteen

  I lived in the gray, answering all questions with “whatever, maybe, and doesn’t matter.” She said I never uttered the words yes or no. I fear I passed that gene to my son.

  * * *

  Round three of major snowfall hit Thanksgiving morning. It was an insane snow year—records breaking every week. I gave thanks that my three boys made it to Epperly the night before with their girlfriends. It was the first holiday that any of my children had invited a significant other, and then all three boys did it the same year.

  Eight of us total, yet I felt completely alone Thanksgiving morning while making the gluttonous meal for the day as my boys slept in with their girlfriends and Bella cut potatoes with her headphones on.

  “I’m so happy to have my kids here today,” I said to see if Bella could hear me.

  She couldn’t.

  I shook my head and chuckled to myself. “I can’t believe all this snow and it’s not even December.”

  Nothing.

  “I’m having meaningless sex with Kael Hendricks. I hope you find a man who can give you multiple orgasms.”

  Nothing.

  Then, as if I brought it to being with just the mention of his name, I heard something out front. Kael’s truck turned into our driveway, blade down removing the snow. I watched from far enough back that I didn’t think he’d be able to see me if he glanced at the window. It looked like he had someone in the truck with him. I couldn’t make out details; they had hats on, and snow still swirled in the air.

  “Wow!”

  I jumped at Bella’s voice.

  “How nice of him to clear our driveway. Doesn’t he know all the boys are home today?”

  I shrugged. “How would he?”

  “True. I should take him some coffee to say thank you.”

  “We don’t have coffee.”

  Bella retreated to the kitchen. “We do. Linc brought some because he knew you wouldn’t have any.”

  “I’m sure he’s already had coffee.” I followed her. “Besides, by the time you get it brewed, he’ll be gone.”

  As soon as she started the coffee maker, she turned and grinned. “I’ll run out and tell him to come in for a cup of coffee.”

  “It’s Thanksgiving. I’m sure he’s busy and wants to get home to his family.”

  She chuckled, brushing past me to the front door, where she shoved her feet into her boots and donned her coat over her T-shirt and pajama pants. “What family? Amber said he doesn’t have family in Epperly, and his mom died.”

  “When did you talk to Amber?”

  “Few days ago. Apparently Kael fixed a frozen pipe at their house. Then he kissed her. I think he was at her house last night too.”

  It had been a week since I’d seen or talked to him. It was the day he left after shower sex without a goodbye. The day I used my saliva to wipe Amber’s kiss from his lips.

  The front door closed behind Bella before I had a chance to say or ask anything else. A few minutes later, the door opened, and she emerged with Kael and an older gentleman behind him.

  I slapped a smile on my face, for the older gentleman. My gaze did its best to not make eye contact with Kael.

  “I hope we’re not intruding,” Kael said.

  “You’re not. I’ll check the coffee. Make yourselves at home.” Bella played my role, said the things I should have said.

  “Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs. Smith.”

  Mrs. Smith …

  Asshole.

  “Happy Thanksgiving. Who’s your friend?”

  “This is my dad, Dan.”

  “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Smith.” Dan pulled off his glove and held out his hand.

  “Elsie. Please.” I shook his hand. “It’s a pleasure. You really didn’t have to clear my driveway. I have three boys home today.”

  “We have nothing better to do.” Dan grinned.

  “Well, come in.” I stepped aside and nodded toward the kitchen.

  Kael took his dad’s jacket and hung it on the coat-tree next to his. Both men left their stocking caps on. Dan headed to the kitchen first.

  “After you, Mrs. Smith.” Kael smirked.

  I glared at him for a few seconds before following Dan. My body stiffened with a tiny jerk when Kael’s hand slid under the back of my sweater, teasing my lower back with his cold fingertips.

  Without turning around, I reached behind me and yanked it away.

  “God … you’re feisty,” he whispered.

  “Cream? Sugar?” Bella set two mugs of coffee on the kitchen table and then grabbed herself a cup of coffee as well.

  I returned to my food prep.

  “Are you in college, young lady?” Dan asked Bella.

  “No. Senior in high school. I’m hoping to get accepted to a college next year in a place a little warmer. SoCal … Texas … Florida.”

  Dan and Kael laughed.

  “Where did you go to college?” Bella asked Kael.

  “I didn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  With my back to the kitchen table, I continued stuffing the turkey and grinned at my daughter’s question, as if college was a forgone conclusion for every person. Some people made millions of dollars with no college degree. Some people started college and got pregnant with twins only to spend twenty-two years being a full-time mom.

  Kael laughed a little. “I had no clue what I wanted to be when I grew up. Still don’t.” That made Dan laugh too.

  “So I traveled like a nomad. Odd jobs. Hiked across Europe. Slept on any sofa someone was willing to offer me. Made wine and olive oil in Tuscany and learned to captain a sailboat on the Mediterranean.”

  “That’s so cool. So then … why are you in Epperly?”

  I snorted a laugh and glanced over my shoulder. Kael snagged my gaze for a few seconds with that Captain America grin of his. Bella’s sour voice, when she said Epperly, made it impossible to imagine she’d stay in such a small, Midwest town her whole life.

  Like I did. Barefoot and pregnant.

  “I was born in Epperly,” Kael replied.

  That grabbed my full attention as I washed my hands and turned toward the kitchen table while drying them with the towel. There was so much you didn’t learn about someone when all you did was have sex with them. I learned about Kael through other people.

  “You were?” Bella’s incredulity leaked through every response.

  His dad chuckled. “Yes. My wife went into labor while we were on our way home from visiting my parents. Things progresse
d quickly on our four-hour drive, and Kael was born in the car with the help of a nice police officer while we waited for the paramedics. We spent two nights at the hospital here and then drove home.”

  “And that made you want to start a business in Epperly? Two nights in a hospital?” I asked, letting my own curiosity have its voice in the safe company of my daughter and Kael’s dad.

  Kael shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” He grinned before sipping his coffee. That grin … it said he knew what I looked like naked.

  “The kid has always run on pure instinct.” Dan and Kael exchanged knowing glances at his father’s comment.

  “I’m in the moment.” Kael set his coffee on the table, shifting his gaze to me again for a brief second.

  “I love that. I mean … we’re only guaranteed this moment, right?”

  Kael nodded once at Bella. “That’s how I figure it.”

  “It’s why he won’t settle down and pass on the family name.”

  “How long were you married before you lost your wife?” I asked Dan.

  “Forty-one years. Three months. Five days.” Dan didn’t have to think. Not for one second. He knew because he cherished those forty-one years, three months, and five days.

  I knew my stats with Craig too, but not because I cherished every single day—I kept track like a prisoner awaiting parole. “Is Kael your only child?”

  Again … I knew nothing about the man I’d been screwing as the best part of my so-called midlife crisis. Not that I really believed in that, but what was the point of enduring the maturing transition of the forties if I couldn’t use all the excuses: midlife crisis, hormones, emotional burnout from raising a family? In my twenties, I used the “young and stupid” label to death. Basically, anything that wasn’t quite right about my kids was because I was such a young mother figuring stuff out on a day-to-day basis.

  Now the thirties … that was where responsibility set in. Thirty was too old to not know better and too young to blame stuff on age. The forties were basically a redo of the twenties, but with more respect and more money.

  “I’m an only child. They couldn’t risk a sibling not living up to me.”

  “Sure, Son, keep telling yourself that.” Dan shook his head. “We wanted more kids, but God didn’t bless us with any more. I was good with it. My wife … not so much. She hated my apparent lack of emotion. I lived in the gray, answering all questions with ‘whatever, maybe, and doesn’t matter.’ She said I never uttered the words ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Something about commitment issues. I fear I’ve passed that gene to my son.”

  Kael shook his head and smirked.

  Dan continued, “Are you an only child, Bella?”

  “Pfft … I wish.”

  “Nice, Bella,” I said before opening the bottom oven and sliding the turkey into it. “I have three boys. Twins, Chase and Linc, then two years later I had Finn, and just over a year after I had Finn, Bella decided to join us.”

  After I shut the oven door, the chandelier above the kitchen table started to sway a bit as a thumping sounded above it. Everyone glanced up at the light and then around the room. Earthquakes in the Midwest weren’t impossible, but they also didn’t involve a high-pitched “yes!”

  The thumping sped up.

  The chandelier swayed even more.

  And I died of complete embarrassment when Kael and Dan tried to hide their amusement behind their coffee mugs. Bella covered her mouth, eyes wide and aimed at me.

  “This is the first time my boys have invited girlfriends for a holiday. And clearly the last.” I offered everyone a tight grin for lack of knowing what else to say. But I couldn’t ignore it.

  “I’m uh …” Bella stood. “Just going to run upstairs and tell my brothers it’s time to help make the meal.”

  Maintaining my tight grin, I gave her a sharp nod.

  “We should get going.” Kael stood as well when Bella ran up the stairs.

  “Mind if I use your restroom before we head out?” Dan asked.

  “Not at all. It’s just down the hall on the right.” I pointed in that direction.

  When the door clicked shut, I eyed Kael as he moseyed toward me. “Stop.”

  He halted, eyebrows lifted in question. “Something wrong?”

  “You slept with my daughter’s friend last night. That’s crossing my comfort zone.”

  Kael’s head tilted to the side, eyes narrowing. “I did? Huh … wonder when she snuck into my house. And I’m surprised she didn’t wake my dad. He’s a light sleeper. Did we have sex? Was it good? She must have slipped out before breakfast, which would have been hard to do since I was up at four this morning to start plowing snow.”

  “Bella said that Amber said—”

  “Oh … my favorite Epperly rumor mill. Wow! It doesn’t even take a break for Thanksgiving? Bella said that Amber said that Kimberly said that Mandy said that Tom told Dick and Harry that he overheard Mo and Curly talking about what’s his name, who dated what’s her name last year before you know who showed up and spoiled the whole thing with a grudge over you know what.”

  My lips quivered to disguise my reaction to what he said because it was funny and accurate.

  Kael glanced right, looking for signs of anyone coming downstairs or out of the bathroom before leaning closer to me. My backside hit the counter, and he rested his hands on the granite, caging me with his body. My heart sounded the alarm, pounding out of control—frantic that we were going to get caught.

  “Elsie … if the whole town thinks I’m fucking every other woman but you, then our little secret is safe. Right?”

  I couldn’t ask the question I wasn’t supposed to care about—was he fucking other women besides me? But I wanted to ask the question that I couldn’t stop thinking about—WAS HE FUCKING OTHER WOMEN BESIDES ME?

  “I just don’t want you leading other women on. I’ve known Amber and her family since she was born.”

  After a few slow blinks, a tiny smile bent his lips. “Am I leading you on?”

  “No.” My head jerked backward. “It’s just sex.”

  “But these other women, who you’re so concerned about, can’t have meaningless sex with the new, hot guy in town?”

  “You are so not the new hot guy in town.”

  He was.

  Kael left a trail of scorched panties in his wake just from his smile. I didn’t have to engage in personal conversation with the other women of Epperly to know that I wasn’t the only one having inappropriate dreams about Kael Hendricks. But I couldn’t deny having a tiny shred of hope in my gut that I was the only one having sex with him.

  Again, it was hard to explain. I didn’t … really … I didn’t want a boyfriend or the rumors and responsibilities that came with one. I just wanted to get my fill of the new, hot guy in town before he dipped his penis into every other hussy in Epperly.

  Every other …

  Yep, I thought of myself as a hussy at that moment. After all, I did have a mental list of other available Epperly men I could have screwed. Even if the list comprised of only two other men besides Kael, it was still a list.

  “You should run to the store later to pick up something you forgot.”

  “What?” I squinted at him. “I didn’t forget anything. And the store is closed today.”

  “The convenience store on the corner is open.”

  Confusion kept a strong hold on my face.

  “My dad will take a nap in about two hours. And you’ll need to run and grab some milk.” He stood straight.

  “I don’t need milk.”

  After glancing down the hallway and up the stairs, he opened my fridge, grabbed the milk, and dumped. It. Down. The. Drain.

  My mouth hung agape, eyes frozen open.

  The bathroom door down the hallway creaked, and Kael brushed past me. “Don’t worry, I’ll need milk too, in about two hours. I’ll pay for yours as well.”

  Dan peeked his head back into the kitchen just as Kael started toward the front door. “Tell tha
t lovely daughter of yours ‘thanks’ for the coffee.”

  It took a few seconds to peel the shock off my face and conjure an expression that resembled kindness. I wasn’t sure I hit the mark, but Dan seemed fine with my attempt. “Happy Thanksgiving,” I managed.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A fart is not a mating call.

  * * *

  My crew of four kids, three girlfriends, and a wound-up dog all made it to the kitchen an hour later. I couldn’t look Linc’s girlfriend in the eye, but it didn’t stop me from shooting daggers at my son. I taught him better than that. Maybe I never said the actual words “don’t pound your girlfriend and make her scream when other people are in the house,” but I had to believe that one of my many speeches over the years implied such etiquette.

  “Where’s the milk?” Finn asked, inspecting the contents of the fridge.

  “Oh … uh … we’re out. I need to go get some.”

  “There was a full carton of it earlier.” Bella felt the need to complicate things with her astute observations.

  “I used it up.”

  “On what?”

  Oh, Bella … Bella … Bella …

  “The stuffing.”

  “I didn’t know there was milk in stuffing.”

  I gave her a tight smile as I set a pitcher of orange juice on the table for the boys and their girlfriends. “Well, you’ve never made stuffing before.”

  “My mom doesn’t use milk in stuffing, but I suppose there are different recipes that call for different things,” Chelsea, Linc’s vocal little minx, piped in.

  “But a whole carton?” Bella probed as she washed cranberries for me.

  “No. I used the milk in the potatoes too.” I really should have said potatoes to begin with.

  “Emma’s lactose intolerant, so make sure you let her know everything you added milk to,” Chase mumbled while focused on his phone.

  “I’ll go get milk,” Finn said.

  “No!” I took a slow breath as my reaction drew everyone’s attention. “I mean. Don’t be silly. You have a friend here. Just relax.”