Maudlin's Mayhem (Bewitching Bedlam Book 2)

by Yasmine Galenorn

  “Ready,” Sandy said. Max nodded and Bubba, well, Bubba just stared at me. I opened the carrier and he primly stepped out and sat by the door.

  I held out my hand and conjured a small orb of fire, the size of a golf ball. The flames tickled my fingers and I grinned as I aimed it toward the hex breaker and let it fly. The glowing white ball hit the roots and instantly ignited them into a quick blaze. The roots caught immediately, flaring up to turn the wok into a blazing cauldron for a few seconds before dying back into a steady burn. I covered the burning hex quickly, leaving just enough space open to draw air into the pan, then after a moment, pulled away the lid.

  A billowing cloud of smoke roiled out.

  Sandy held out her hands and caused a stir in the air, sending the smoke over me, over Max and herself, over Bubba, and Franny, and Aegis. She closed her eyes, concentrating as she pushed the billowing clouds up toward the ceiling and into the walls. The wood absorbed the smoke like a sponge absorbing water and I could almost hear the house let out a sigh of relief.

  I closed my eyes. The smoke was tingling in my aura and it felt like it was eating up a scritchy energy that I hadn’t even realized was there. A few moments later, I opened my eyes to see the last of the hex-breaker fall into ashes. I glanced over to the table and there, lying peacefully asleep, was Aegis in vampire form.

  “Aegis!” I knew he couldn’t hear me or respond, but I raced forward and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

  Bubba let out a “Purp” and bounced onto the table, too, licking Aegis’s face before rolling around on his back and showing his belly.

  “I guess that takes care of that.” I turned back to Sandy and Max. “That felt…good. I never expected Dirt Magic to ever feel like that.”

  “It was like a shower of feathers. It almost tickled.” Sandy looked as delighted as I felt. “I can tell that something sloughed off.”

  “Just like dead skin,” Max said, laughing.

  “Ewww,” both Sandy and I managed to say in stereo.

  “I guess that takes care of that. What next?” Max asked. “You want me to help you get Aegis back into his coffin?”

  “Yeah, I’d really appreciate that.” I slipped into his lair and lifted the lid, raising it back on its hinges. Then Max slid his arms under Aegis’s arms and knees and carried him into the room, laying him in the coffin with no sign of effort. Weretigers weren’t as strong as vampires, but they were no slouches in the muscle department.

  “Thanks,” I said, lowering the lid after we straightened Aegis out. “I bet he’s going to be one happy vampire when he wakes up.”

  “Now that that’s settled, what are you going to do?”

  “Oh, relax, I guess.” I didn’t want Max worrying about Sandy, and there was no need to tell him what we were planning.

  He gave me a skeptical look. “Yeah, right. That’s why Sandy asked me to go back to her place and help Alex get Mr. Peabody under control. By the way, have you had a talk with Bubba?”

  “Oh yes, trust me. Bubba and I had a discussion about his behavior. I won’t promise that it will never happen again, but I do know that Bubba’s not happy about smelling like skunk, either.” I winked at Max. “So, don’t you worry. If you would do as Sandy asked, she’ll be home later on in the evening. Oh, and can you take the wok back upstairs?”

  Max let out a “Hmmm” but said nothing more as we returned to the main room in the basement. Sandy was carrying Bubba’s carrier and was halfway up the stairs, Bubba following her, playing the sad-kitty-cat-eyes game. Franny was zipping around the basement, looking at the furniture.

  “Maddy? Come look at what I found! I forgot this was here.” She was standing by a small chest of drawers. It was old, that much was apparent, but the wood was a rich warm cherry and as I knelt to look at it, I saw that it was hand carved, built without nails or glue. The craftsmanship was superb.

  “I never noticed this piece. We’re still working our way through the labyrinth of antiques down here.” I ran my hand over it, wiping the dust off with a nearby cloth.

  “This was in my bedroom,” Franny said shyly. “I always loved it. My father made it.”

  I glanced at her. The look on her face was wistful, almost longing. Slowly, I opened the drawers. There were several scarves, some handkerchiefs, and a faded picture. As I picked up the oval painting—it was about the size of a greeting card—I saw that it was a painting of Franny.

  “Look, this is you, isn’t it? When was this painted?” I held the painting up to the light. It depicted the golden-haired young woman Franny had been at what looked to be a happy moment. She was sitting beneath a tree, a book in one hand, her bonnet in the other, and she was smiling.

  Franny pressed her fingers to her lips, studying the picture. “That was painted when I was eighteen. My father asked a local painter to sketch me. He did a remarkable job. I remember that day—I was quite taken by him, but there was no chance of anything ever happening. My mother wanted me to marry for money, and he was French…which would never do. Besides, when he was sketching me, all he could talk about was his home and how much he missed it, and how pretty the women there were compared to American women.”

  The wistful look vanished. “So I wrote him out of my thoughts and focused on my books, and did my best to avoid the stuffy matches my mother tried to make for me.”

  I dusted the frame off. “Would you mind if I hung this upstairs? And brought up the chest of drawers? The dresser would be a lovely addition to the parlor.”

  She blinked. “You would do that?”

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks, Maddy,” she said. “Just…thank you.” And with that, she began to get all flustered and quickly vanished from sight.

  Carrying the painting with me, I headed back up the steps. I was ready to go dust a Dirt Witch.

  I HUNG THE painting in the parlor first thing so I wouldn’t forget it. If Franny had to be trapped, at least she could feel like this was still her home. Afterward, Max headed back to Sandy’s place, grumbling all the way out the door about how he knew we weren’t going to just sit around eating cookies.

  Sandy laughed after he closed the door behind him. “He’s protective, I’ll say that. We’re still finding our rhythm. I’m not used to being in a real relationship and he’s still coming to grips with the fact that I’m not Gracie.”

  “That must be hard.” I opened a cupboard, feeling peckish. My gaze immediately fell on the cookies, but I decided we needed a bit more sustenance. I opened a box of crackers and pulled a block of cheddar out of the fridge, setting them on the kitchen table along with two bread-and-butter plates and a knife. I added a bowl of green grapes, and motioned to Sandy to sit down. She slid in opposite, taking one of the grapes off the stem and popping it in her mouth.

  “It is, sometimes, but he loved her and that’s a good thing. I think it would be harder if he hated her, or if she had deserted him or something. As it is, I encourage him to talk about her and he knows I’m not jealous of what he had with her, and that helps.” She paused for a moment to slice off a piece of cheese and put it on a cracker. “And he’s been so helpful with the memorial for Bart. That’s tomorrow, remember.”

  I nodded. “Didn’t his parents come in today?”

  “Yeah, I was supposed to meet them at the airport but sent Alex instead—I wasn’t about to leave you alone after what happened at Essie’s.”

  That made me feel awful. “Oh, no—”

  “Not a problem. His parents are a handful, anyway. They liked me so much, but when Bart came out to them, they blamed me for it. At least at first. His father was convinced I must have done something horrible to drive Bart into the arms of a man. It took a couple years of Bart working on him before Sal decided that it wasn’t my fault and that I had been…well…collateral damage. Then Sal started taking my side in every argument. He even apologized to me once for Bart’s ‘behavior.’ It’s complicated.” She handed me a slice of chees
e.

  I sandwiched the cheese between two crackers and ate it. “I’m glad Aegis has no mother for me to deal with, to be honest. Have you met Max’s parents yet?”

  “Oh, hell no. You’ll be the first to know when I do. Now, what the hell are we going to do about Honey?”

  I grinned. “I want you to keep Ralph’s attention while I sneak around and find Honey’s room. She was carrying a pot of dirt. That has to be her grounding root. Once I find it, I’m going to salt it heavily and that should send her home. I’ll ask Delia to have a little talk with Ralph about how, if Honey should appear in Bedlam again, she just might not be entirely welcomed. Maybe I can’t prove that she did it, but I know she and Ralph are behind this whole mess. And Thornton lost his life because of it. We can throw in the threat of starting a murder investigation and that should make Ralph back off big time.”

  “All right. Now, what can I do to get Ralph’s attention? And what if he’s not working the desk?”

  I pointed to her phone. “Call and see who answers.”

  Sandy held up one finger. “Got something better. My name would come up on Caller ID.” She whistled. “Lihi! I need you!” A moment later, Lihi appeared. The size of a Barbie doll, Lihi was a homunculus. Cute as a button, she looked like a tiny woman with bat wings and ears, but she had a rat-like tail. Today, she was wearing a pair of denim cutoffs and a green halter top, and her hair was pulled back in a long ponytail. She was bound to Sandy by a seven-year contract. They were four years in and both enjoying the perks that their agreement brought them.

  “Lihi, pop over to the Greyhoofs’ inn and find out who’s manning the desk. Don’t let them see you. Also, while you’re at it, do a little snooping. There’s a woman named Honey there. She’s a Dirt Witch, so be careful. Find out which room she’s staying in, if you would.”

  Lihi nodded. “On it, boss.” She blinked out the next moment.

  “The more I’m around that girl, the better I like her.” Sandy laughed. “We talked about it last week and agreed to extend the contract, even though we’re only a little more than halfway through it. Lihi says this is a better gig than any of her friends have, and she didn’t want to take the chance on losing it to another homunculus.” After a pause, she asked, “Have you ever thought of engaging one?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve got a Bubba. I don’t think I could handle a homunculus as well.”

  “Point taken.”

  We were just finished the last of the crackers and cheese when Lihi returned. She sat down on the edge of the butter dish.

  “Ralph’s on duty. His brothers are locked up again. Both of them. I heard him arguing with one of them on the phone. I guess George and William managed to get drunk a few nights ago and they went careening around a parking lot on Lars’s back. They ended up damaging a few cars, so the sheriff locked them up.” Lihi shook her head. “Ralph was really mad that he was left to do all the work.”

  “Poor baby. I’m sure he’ll manage to return the favor when they get out. Idiots. And who is Lars?” I asked.

  Sandy snorted. “Didn’t you know? The dryads up at Durholm Hall invited a group of centaurs to join them there. So we now have several hunky centaurs running around, along with at least two gorgeous topless females. They’re high spirited, but I didn’t think they’d get involved with the likes of Ralph and his brothers.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Wonderful. Just what we need. Okay, then. So Ralph’s the only brother at home right now. That’s helpful. What about Honey? Did you find her room?”

  “Yes, she’s staying on the second floor in the third room right off the stairs. I don’t know where she is right now. I looked around to see if I could find her, but she wasn’t in sight. I didn’t look all the way through the inn, though. I figured it would be better to just get the info back to you.” Lihi let out a long breath. “Need me for anything else?”

  Sandy held out her hand and Lihi sat on it, swinging her feet over the side. “I might, so don’t go far and keep an ear out.”

  Lihi nodded, then vanished.

  “Well, we know where to go, and what to look for.” I crossed to one of the cupboards and brought out a box of sea salt. “This should be enough to do the trick. Are you ready to go catch ourselves a Dirt Witch?”

  Sandy snorted. “Hey, at least we don’t have to stake her.” And with that cheery thought, we gathered our things and headed to the Heart’s Desire Inn.

  Chapter 20

  AS WE STARED up at the inn, it occurred to me that Ralph and I were getting dangerously close to starting a feud that could filter down through the ages. The Gallowglasses and the Greyhoofs could easily end up rivaling the Hatfields and the McCoys, and that wasn’t exactly the legacy I wanted to leave. But Honey had to go, and then, maybe we could talk some sense into the satyrs and get them calmed down. By we I meant Aegis and me, with Delia for backup.

  “All right, you ask Lihi to tell me when you have Ralph’s attention. He needs to not see me sneaking in.” I hid behind one of the baby cedars that hadn’t had a chance to grow up nice and tall yet. It was six feet high and wide enough so that nobody should notice me from inside the house. If I was lucky, Honey wouldn’t come along on the outside to give me away.

  Sandy nodded. “Heading in. Leave it to me.”

  I didn’t know how she was going to distract him, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Satyrs were horny buggers, and flirting was probably the most expedient route, but somehow, I really didn’t think Sandy had any interest in playing that game. We had caroused with satyrs for a long stretch after burning the vampire village, but those days were over and gone.

  She headed into the inn and I leaned back against the tree, waiting. It was chilly, and it smelled like rain was coming, but I just ignored the weather, focusing instead on what I needed to do. I had my salt. I had the directions. All I had to do was climb the stairs, find the third room on the right, and then find Honey’s grounding root. She couldn’t very well carry a planter around with her all the time—it would look too weird.

  A few minutes later, Lihi popped onto my shoulder.

  I jumped. “Damn, girl, you startled me!”

  She giggled. “Sorry, but it just kind of works that way. My mistress has distracted the satyr and it’s safe for you to go in now. You might want to be cautious. I think the stairs squeak.”

  I nodded. “Thanks. Okay, go back and keep an eye on Sandy, if you would. I want to make certain she’s safe.”

  As Lihi vanished, I darted across the lawn and softly took the porch steps two at a time. The screen door also squeaked—I remembered that from before, so I opened it slowly, easing it back so it wouldn’t make any noise.

  The front door was ajar—Sandy must have left it that way for me and I blessed her heart. I slid inside and, seeing no one at the front desk, quickly crossed the foyer to the staircase leading up to the second floor. I began tiptoeing up the stairs, freezing as a faint squeak echoed on the third step. But nothing happened, and nobody appeared, so I continued up till I was standing in the hall. Now, all I had to do was find Honey’s room and we’d be done with this mess.

  “Third door on the right.” I counted the doors and found myself in front of door number 205. “Okay, Miss Honey, we’re going to have ourselves a li’l bit of fun here,” I muttered as I took hold of the handle and turned. Except the door didn’t open. It was locked.

  Hell, now what should I do? I could pick locks but I didn’t want to spend the time at it. I could melt the lock but that would be a little obvious and a stray spark might accidentally torch the inn and that wasn’t what I was after.

  I paused, staring at the handle. Then, before I could figure out what to do, Lihi appeared again. “Sandy sent me back up to you. Ralph’s getting bored, but she still has his attention.”

  A wave of relief flooded through me. “Lihi, can you get in there and open the door? Is there a deadbolt or something you can unlock?”

  “Back in
a flash.” She vanished and a moment later, I heard a soft click, and she reappeared. “Try it now.”

  Once again, I turned the knob and this time it opened. I slipped inside, closing the door behind me. One look around told me this was Honey’s room. There were short shorts on the floor, along with a couple tank tops and what I figured were dirty underwear. A half-eaten sandwich sat on the nightstand, and a glass that had probably contained milk, though now just emanated a sour scent. Wrinkling my nose, I pressed forward, looking around for anything that might contain her grounding root.

  “Looking for this?” The voice came from behind me.

  I whirled to see Honey entering the room. She was carrying the same planter she had been when I saw her a couple days back, and the look on her face was no longer either charming or wide-eyed naive. In fact, she was about as naive as my lecherous cousin Kenny.

  “So, you just couldn’t leave well enough alone? Ralph’s right. You’re a nuisance.” She moved into the room, her gaze fastened on me.

  “And Ralph’s an asshole, as are you. We don’t care for Dirt Witches much around here. I’ll give you one chance. Gather your things and leave.” Hands on my hips, I decided that the best defense was a good offense, and I knew how to put up a good offense. “I’m the High Priestess of the Moonrise Coven, and we run this island. Your kind? Not welcome. At least not if they’re like you. I know you cast that spell on me.”

  She moved into the room, holding the planter by her side. I backed away, quickly running over the things I could do. I needed to incapacitate her—hopefully without hurting her—and salt that damned root.

  Honey set the planter down on the desk near the door. Her eyes narrowed, she took a step toward me, reaching in her pocket to bring out three roots. Crap. She was going to cast some sort of spell on me.

  “I know you’re supposed to be leader of the coven and all that, but back home we deal with things a little differently. You messed with my cousin, and I thought you’d learn your lesson with the hex, but no, you’re not that smart.” The twang in her voice made me wince.