Ruby Dawn

by Raquel Byrnes

  I hadn’t told anyone, not even my silent partner, Blaine, for many reasons, most of which had to do with the fact that he was my boss and on the board that would decide the clinic’s future. He left the day to day running of the clinic to me and I liked it that way. Besides, I told myself that it was a temporary setback. So I put my stuff in storage and slept in my office. I also took shifts at the ER to make ends meet. Not even Lilah knew, or if she did, she never said anything.

  I frowned at the futon. It wasn’t so bad. I thought about Munch. Some people didn’t even have that. Besides, the move enabled me to accept more families into the program, but the slots were filling up quickly. With the jobless rate still so high, I didn’t think anything would change anytime soon. The crushing pressure of so much riding on my shoulders bore down. I took in a shaky breath, fighting back the stress.

  “Stop belly-aching,” I told myself aloud. “Cowboy-up and get going.”

  I stopped brooding and wandered into the kitchenette to make some coffee. Standing at the window, I stared at the traffic while I filled the pot with tap water. It amazed me that so many people drove around at all hours of the morning.

  My thoughts slipped to Tom. I wondered how long he’d been in the area. Did he know I was here, and if so…why hadn’t he called?

  I shook my head, angry.

  Who cared if he was back? I bit back angry tears, refusing to relive the heartache. I remember sleepwalking through the last six months at Dresden. Dazed and devastated, he’d left me with a crushed spirit and the whispers of my schoolmates. He tore my heart out when he left, and it took years to patch up the hole.

  Not a word for ten years and now he wanted me to just run back to his bedside all breathless like a school girl? I shook my head and sighed. Truth was that I was dying to know what he had to say.

  The coffee pot filled and I pushed the button to start it. I turned away. Something clanged outside the window. I froze, panic squeezing my chest.

  Slipping quietly to the floor, my hands found the cabinet next to the stove and opened it. I pulled out the heavy metal baton I’d bought at a law enforcement supply store. Last year, a group of teens broke in, stole all our food supplies, and raided the clinic’s drug cabinet. I was home at the time and lucky that they were either too stoned or too scared to look into every room of the clinic.

  Officer Farrell told me that a retractable metal baton was a good idea to have, just in case they came back. I could still hear his amused voice. Couple whacks with one of those puppies, and they’ll all take off running.

  I swung the baton and the metal sections flared out and extended like a silver light saber. I put the coffee pot on the floor, crept forward, and peered over the window sill. Outside, I saw movement and felt my pulse spike. It wasn’t the jerky movements of a street person, or a drunk. The figure moved furtively, staying against the dark of the building’s shadows.

  I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and dialed Officer Farrell’s number with trembling fingers. He often made extra runs by the clinic if I thought there was trouble. His phone went to voicemail, and I ground my teeth. I hated calling 911 because flashing cop lights kept away people who needed my help. The runaways especially hated cops. I heard another clang right outside the window, and I made up my mind. I punched in the numbers. A voice behind me made me jump and scream at the same time.

  “I wouldn’t do that, Doc.”

  I turned to face the familiar voice, anger already rushing through my veins. Standing in my front room with a huge smile was Antonio Llave. A wanted member of the Mexican gang, Culebra Mafia, he sneered at me and the teardrop tattoos under his eyes crinkled.

  “How…how did you get in here?”

  “It’s the bait and switch, no? Distract you with noise outside, slip in the back.” He smiled at his own cleverness, as his eyes danced over the wand in my hand. He chuckled.

  “Nice toy, doc. You gonna sword fight with me?”

  “Get out of my place, Antonio.” I gripped the handle tighter

  “You seem like a smart lady. Why didn’t you get back to me about our business deal?” He clucked his tongue at me.

  I dropped my shoulders and sighed. “We don’t have any business together, Antonio. I’m not hiring any of your buddies to work here. Who knows what they’ll do to the patients, or my supplies.”

  He moved so fast I didn’t have time to take a breath before his hands clamped around my throat. Terrified, I flailed uselessly with the baton at his side. His face was angry, but he whispered in my ear as if we were lovers. “You will see it my way soon, Doc. If you want to keep this dump going, you’ll do what I’m telling you.”

  My mouth worked opened and closed as I strained for breath. Panic pricked through my nerves as he clutched my throat. I dropped the baton, and clawed at his hands with my fingers, gasping. Lights exploded behind my eyes. “Please,” I wheezed.

  He let go.

  I fell in a heap to the floor, coughing and wheezing. Terror quivered through me.

  Antonio walked to the table with all the boxes and, in one motion, flipped it over. Jars of jelly and tomato sauce crashed to the floor. A few oranges bounced towards me.

  Horrified, my breath came in ragged hitches, the fear crowding out the air in my lungs.

  Antonio stalked back across the floor and stood over me.

  I flinched, throwing my arms over my face, thinking he meant to kick me.

  Instead, he leaned down and whispered again. “I’ll be back to see you soon, Doc. You better have some good news for me. You know what I’m telling you? Those blue eyes of yours won’t look so pretty swollen shut.”

  I didn’t answer him. I stared back silently, willing myself not to cry in front of him. Antonio chuckled, and then patted my head on his way out my front door.

  Heart tumbling in my chest, I scrambled to my feet and locked the door behind him. Then I ran in back and locked all the doors and windows. One of the bathroom windows wouldn’t go all the way down, and I yanked with my whole body, but it wouldn’t budge. I banged on it, broke the glass, and sliced my hand. I yelped.

  When I saw the blood, I started to cry. Big heaving sobs tore out, and I sank to the floor of the bathroom cradling my hand in my lap. I didn’t know what I was going to do about Antonio. His threats were real. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me or the people I worked with, but if I let him get a foothold in the clinic, it would ruin us. Angry and frightened, I cried out to the heavens. Something I hadn’t done since I was a teen.

  What am I doing here? Why do I struggle and barely do any good?

  I stared at the broken tiles on the bathroom wall and felt more lost than I had been in years.

  5

  After my run-in with Antonio, I was too freaked out to go back to sleep. I kept getting off the futon to check and recheck the window locks. By five in the morning, I gave up on sleep and decided to repack the boxes for the shelter families. It took longer than usual because of the slice in my hand. When I was done, I cleaned up. Over a cup of coffee, I stared at my purse and jacket by the front door. Indecision raged in me. Finally, I sighed and headed out to the hospital to see Tom, leaving a note for Lilah.

  I stopped by the hospital gift shop wasting time until visiting hours, even though, as a doctor, I could walk in whenever I wanted. I bought another cup of coffee, a keychain, and some snack puffs before deciding that I’d procrastinated enough.

  The surgical ward nurse told me they’d moved Tom “Smith” to a standard room. Good news.

  Nearing his room, I heard arguing and slowed. I peered through the small door window, careful not to be seen. Inside, Tom stood in his hospital gown by the room’s window, one hand holding onto the IV pole, his other hand pointing angrily at the man in front of him. Two other rough-looking men flanked Tom.

  I leaned my head against the door crack, trying to hear, despite the twinge of guilt.

  “…talked about this before…reckless…get killed…” The man shouted, his gruff voice muf
fled through the door.

  I heard enough of the conversation to make my stomach drop.

  Tom scowled, apparently not agreeing with the guy.

  I pulled my face away from the door, not wanting to eavesdrop anymore.

  Tom’s voice, low and angry, started up again.

  “Hey Ruby.” Blaine’s voice startled me. He stood behind me with a grin on his face.

  “Hey Blaine.” I was embarrassed. I nodded at the door to Tom’s room. “I was going to visit but…”

  “Apparently his boss doesn’t understand what ‘rest’ means.” Blaine nodded and we stepped to the side of the door.

  “Have they been here long?” I asked.

  “About an hour. They’re all riled up about what happened. They got a hold of our paperwork and everything. Had a warrant.”

  “I’m gonna go. If you get a chance, can you tell Tom I came by?” I glanced back at the door, uneasiness settling in my stomach.

  “Sure thing, Ruby, you OK?” Blaine looked at me with concern and nodded.

  “Uh, yeah, I have a lot of stuff to do.” I shrugged.

  “I thought he was a friend…last night you seemed so worried.” His eyes searched mine. “You can just go in, probably.”

  “No, I’ll just come back later.” I shook my head, backing away. I couldn’t get into the elevator fast enough. Tom was mixed up with something weird. I drove back to the clinic and did some paperwork for a few more hours, getting ready for the patients to start trickling in during the afternoon. Because of my work schedule at the ER, my clinic hours started late afternoon and continued until the last patient left. Very often I worked until late at night. Lilah, at her Wednesday night class, wasn’t coming in tonight.

  Some of the moms had more than one job and found the extended hours of my clinic very convenient. I got out of my car, and five or six kids ran up to me, jumping up and down, and asking for their lollipop. I laughed.

  “After I check you guys out.” I ruffled a little boy’s hair. “You know the drill.”

  I spent the next five hours giving out flu shots, lollipops, and vitamins. One little boy, Nathan, refused to open his mouth so I could check the stitches on his inner lip. I made silly faces until he laughed. Cheering up the children had a good effect on me. I saw the last patient out at nine-thirty.

  Walking back into the office, I glanced at the paperwork on the desk and sighed. Unfinished orders and insurance claims lay in piles. My night wasn’t over yet. I rubbed tired eyes with the palms of my hands.

  Someone knocked on the front door glass. Heart racing, I peered out the office door to the front of the clinic.

  “We’re closed,” I said in my toughest voice.

  “Ruby, it’s me, Tom. Open up.”

  “I’m coming,” I grumbled. My stomach quivered with nerves, and I swallowed hard. I got up to let him in. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t in after I’d already answered. I had to face him sometime. Halfway there, I furrowed my brows, thinking.

  Tom shouldn’t be out of the hospital yet. He was stable and patched up, but needed rest. Concerned, I opened the door to his dimpled grin, and my heart went racing like it always did when he smiled at me. Tom’s pull on me had gotten me into so much trouble way back when.

  “Hey there,” he said.

  “You unhappy with the hospital’s care?” I looked over his shoulder and then back at his face.

  “Funny…you’re a funny gal.” Tom winked and clicked his tongue.

  “How did you know where to find me?”

  “I have my ear to the ground. It’s in my job description.”

  “My boss, Blaine, told you, didn’t he?”

  “The nurses, actually.” Tom grinned.

  Figures.

  I let him in and re-locked the door slowly, steeling myself to be cool. I was different now, wiser. I turned to face him.

  Tom leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his dark hair. It was tangled and at least two days’ worth of stubble shadowed his jaw. He looked tired. He watched with careful eyes as I leaned against the counter.

  “So, how are you doing, Ruby?”

  “I’m in shock, actually,” I said. “When did you get here? I mean, how did you end up in San Diego? The last I heard you were in New York.”

  “I was there, and a lot of other places, but I realized that I want to be here and asked to transfer.”

  So he wanted to be here. How long would that last this time?

  “So, you just moved on a whim?” I asked.

  “Not a whim, Ruby. I did a lot of thinking…about what’s important.” Tom’s voice stayed even but his face was tense.

  I stared at him. How soon until he disappeared, until there was someplace else he wanted to be? May I request that it is before you completely crush me again?

  “You’ve been here a while?” I asked instead.

  “Yeah, listen, I was going to call you after all of this was over.” Tom looked uncomfortable. “I’m not really supposed to break cover, but considering that you already know who I am and who I work for…” He shrugged, a sheepish smile playing across his mouth. “I also didn’t quite know how to do it, to be honest.”

  I wanted to smack him, or kiss him…I wasn’t quite sure which.

  “Well you certainly went with the dramatic entrance.”

  “You’re hurt, aren’t you?” He searched my face with those striking eyes and I got suddenly nervous. “I didn’t want to do that.”

  “No, just surprised.” Shrugging, I wiped sweaty hands on my pants, then hooked a thumb at the kitchen. “You want some coffee?” I offered.

  “Thanks, yeah,” he said. He was silent for a beat, watching me. “That would be nice.”

  We walked back to the kitchenette. Grabbing the coffee pot, I headed to the sink. Remember how badly he broke your heart. Look past the impossibly handsome face and remember the hurt.

  Tom’s voice cut through my internal pep-talk against his charm.

  “You never answered my question,” he said with a grin.

  I looked at him confused.

  “I asked how you’re doing.”

  “Oh, great,” I said with false cheer. “Awesome, even.”

  Tom nodded, his eyes never leaving mine.

  My stomach tumbled with that familiar tug he had on me. I chided myself silently.

  “That’s great to hear, Ruby,” he murmured.

  I’d overfilled the pot with water, so I poured out the excess, and turned from the sink. The situation from the night before triggered a flash of Antonio’s hands around my throat. I flinched, dropping the pot on the floor. It smashed into pieces, sending water everywhere. Struggling for breath, I leaned against the counter, panic making my heart slam into my breastbone.

  In an instant, Tom’s arm snaked around my waist, and I leaned on him, struggling to get myself together. “What’s going on, Ruby?” He looked worried.

  “I’m sorry, I just…I need to catch my breath.”

  Tom helped me to a kitchen chair and knelt, his eyes watching my face intently.

  “Is this one of your—”

  “No,” I interrupted him. “It’s nothing...” I brought my hands up to adjust my shirt collar a second too late.

  He glanced at my neck. Tom’s face registered surprise, then anger, but his voice was soft. He sounded shocked.

  “Ruby, why is your neck bruised?”

  My cheeks burned red. I had no reason to be ashamed, but felt it just the same.

  “It’s not,” I said lamely.

  He rocked back on his heels, and annoyance flashed across his face.

  “I’m looking right at your neck. It’s purple, Ruby.”

  He ran a finger softly over the hollow of my neck.

  I brushed him away as I stood. “I had a run in with a gang banger last night.” I squared my shoulders, trying for tough.

  “You what?” His eyes widened.

  “There’s a guy who wants to get his boys into my clinic. When I told
him what I thought about that, he didn’t react well.” I shrugged.

  “Ironically, this does not surprise me. Why did you meet with him alone?” Tom rubbed his eyes with both hands and sighed.

  I lost patience. Something about Tom’s tone set me off, like this was just another in a series of crazy antics by yours truly. I wanted to yell, anger burning in my stomach. I wanted to tell him how frightened I’d been. Instead I answered with a wry smile. “Meet with him? Do you think a cordial appointment went wrong somehow?”

  Tom flopped down on a dining chair with a smirk. “Yes, Ruby, I’m assuming you insulted his presentation charts, and he pulled a 9mm in response.”

  I stared at him for a beat, and then deflated. I never could hook him into a fight. Not even when he was angry. “He broke in last night.” I shrugged helplessly.

  Tom ground his jaw but didn’t comment. He just fixed me with those eyes, and I spilled my guts.

  “I thought it was junkies, so I didn’t call the police. I thought I could scare them off, but it wasn’t junkies.”

  “I guess not,” he answered quietly. His gaze was concerned. “He won’t leave you alone?”

  I shook my head. “He shows up and harasses my patients; he broke our television last week. I know the hospital is getting complaints.”

  “He just walks in and causes trouble?” Tom’s jaw clenched.

  “Yeah, a lot lately. I’m afraid Antonio, that’s his name, will ruin my chances for affiliation with the hospital’s Sports Medicine Wing.” I blinked back the angry tears. I didn’t want Tom to see me like this, weak and afraid.

  “Sports Wing?”

  “The hospital I work at is building a Sports Medicine Wing with grant money. They’ll have a therapy pool, state of the art rehabilitation equipment, and free vitamin supplements. I want my kids, the ones from this neighborhood, to have access to that equipment.”

  “Have many injured athletes around here, do you?” Tom slid off the chair and picked up the pieces of the shattered coffee pot.