Dead Twin Sister

by Jack Wallen

  Drew grabbed my hand in his, the warm flesh offering the slightest comfort. “It what?”

  “This is going to sound crazy … but…”

  “After what we’ve been through, sis, crazy would be a most welcome change.”

  “She sounded too much like me for my taste.”

  “Was it an echo? Maybe there’s some sort of feedback loop in your monitor. I can have Tony run a check.”

  I gave Drew’s hand a tight squeeze. “No. The voice wasn’t repeating my words.”

  Drew’s brow furrowed and his lips tightened. “What? The ghost in the machine was up for a spot of chat?”

  “Something like that, yeah.”

  “Fuck,” Drew hissed and then turned to my mic. “Tony, can you play back that take on the monitors?”

  From the other side of the glass, Tony nodded. After a few seconds the playback filled the room. For a raw take, everything sounded brilliant … until the first verse ended, at which point my vocals bowed out, leaving nothing but bass and guitar.

  “She was in my head, Drew. Not my voice.” Immediately, I realized how mad the statement sounded. I’d wanted to think myself ready to hit the studio; maybe my psyche wasn’t quite prepared for the emotional and creative floodgates to open.

  If only Thessia were here, I thought, my heart breaking slightly. Leaving my mentor behind in the Dark Seduction had been one of the hardest choices I’d made in my adult life. As Thessia’s image floated in the back of my mind, it was joined by a rather daring idea—something I’d only briefly considered since my return to reality.

  “Grog?” Drew’s voice snatched me from contemplation. “You up for another take?”

  I nodded. We had to get this album recorded; the deadline was looming and there was no way in hell I’d let Gordon down. Bullet would be his first Die So Fluid album and I certainly wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be his last.

  Or mine.

  A quick flick of the devil horns and Drew had all the answer he needed.

  “Hell yeah, that’s my girl.” Drew spun on his heels and exited the room.

  Bella and Dizzy had been quietly standing in the corner. Thankfully, Drew’s and my brief exchange hadn’t been recorded for posterity. The last thing we needed was to give the public any reason to doubt the sanity and sanctity of the band. I offered a simple nod to the students, which brought smiles to their faces.

  “Shall we rock?” I asked, before donning the headphones once again.

  Dizzy raised the camera and Bella jotted a few notes. I flashed a quick thumbs-up. Shortly after, the click track counted me in. I inhaled and exhaled a cleansing breath and then sang my heart, lungs, and soul out. The blending of sounds against the physical act of raising my voice in song melted into the realm of the spiritual. I felt this take all the way into my past. Even better, the voices in my head were perfectly silent.

  A gift from the Gods or the Demons? Hopefully, I’d never know.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Dizzy coming in closer with the camera. During one of the musical transitions, I glanced toward the camera and blew the lens a kiss and then, as if I were locked in a cliché-off with the world, tossed the camera a good old rock and roll salute. Devil style.

  The transition slid back into a verse. My voice joined in on the madness. I was having a riot of a good time, which had the added effect of further fueling my voice.

  All was goddamn well.

  Until I raised my arms and brought my hands together. I’d been studying the ancient art of mudras and I’d unwittingly created the Uttarabodhi mudra. I felt a wave of electricity travel from my chest to my hands until it blasted from my fingertips and rattled the wall of the studio hard enough to bring down a framed, autographed hockey jersey. The song immediately cut off. Tony crashed into the room and scooped up the damage.

  “Oh fuck,” the engineer croaked. “Do you know how long it took me to get Geddy, Alex, and Neil to sign this?” Tony turned to me. “What happened?”

  I couldn’t exactly confess I shot the trophy down with a bit of Buddha magic. Why? First and foremost, Buddha magic wasn’t a thing. Second, hearing voices and shooting energy from my fingers would certainly cause problems with the studio and the manager. The last thing Drew and I needed was to be labeled ‘problem children.’

  A small part of my mind was in shock. What had I done? This newfound bit of strange wasn’t something Thessia and I had worked on. My Wiccan studies weren’t about power, but spirit, truth, and protection. The only explanation I could muster was that I’d brought something back with me from the darkness.

  “Was it a quake?” I lied in the asking.

  Drew entered and made a beeline directly to me. I could see in his eyes he knew something. When I opened my mouth, he covered it with his hand and, almost imperceptibly, shook his head.

  Tony managed to get the jersey out of the frame. “Whew,” he whistled, “unscathed. Fucking elements can’t take down Rush.”

  “Never a truer word has been spoken,” Drew replied.

  “Grog,” Tony addressed me with a smile. “That take was phenomenal. Luckily, we managed to get the whole thing before you moved the heavens and the Earth with your voice. I have enough to work with. Maybe this would be a good time to call it a day. Don’t want you straining the golden cords after all.” With a wink and a pat on the shoulder, Tony made his exit from the room.

  Before I could say a single word, Dizzy had the camera’s LCD before me; he tapped play so Drew and I could watch the truth unfold before our eyes.

  I hadn’t been hallucinating; the mudra unleashed a powerful force from my hands. Bella and Dizzy stared in silence. Drew finally brought the noise with an awe-filled, “Fuck.”

  THREE

  I’m bittersweet bittersweet, smoke all your pot while you kiss my feet.

  I invited Drew, Dizzy, and Bella to my flat, mostly because I needed the company. There was, of course, a secondary reason. I had to make sure my magical outburst didn’t find its way onto YouTube, Facebook, or any other public-facing turnstile of social media depravity. Drew and I had to use the new crew to our advantage.

  Dizzy and Bella had been watching the footage, through the camera LCD, over and over. The second I nearly begged them to keep my blast-o-matic under wraps, Dizzy folded the screen back into the camera body and offered up a picture-perfect smile. “You have nothing to worry about. This footage stays with us.”

  Bella nodded an approval we didn’t need but greatly appreciated. “Yeah, we’ll have plenty of time to get enough footage and interviews for the film. Besides, we’re under contractual agreement.”

  “I don’t suppose,” Dizzy elongated the last word, cluing me in that I probably wouldn’t like what he was about to ask. “Would you mind explaining what happened in the studio?”

  And there it was. Drew tossed me a cautious look, which I returned in kind. I certainly couldn’t give our documentarians the full skinny on the Dark Seduction. I did have, however, an innocent truth that could be shared.

  “I’m a practicing Wiccan. Since returning from…” I stole a glance from Drew before continuing on. “…an extended visit with a master, I’ve been studying hand mudras. I suspect what occurred in the studio was a perfect storm of energy, faith, and a spot-on gesture.”

  Bella sat up straight, setting down her drink with care. “What are mudras?”

  “Ritual gestures, that serve as energetic seals of authenticity, employed in the iconography and spiritual practice of Indian religions.” Drew beat me to the punch.

  “That was textbook,” I said with a quick wink.

  Bella’s face lit up. “Sort of like the hand magic used in The Magicians?”

  Drew took a deep draw from his beer. “I love that show.”

  “Alice is your new crush, isn’t that right, Drew?” I teased. “Whatever would Buffy say?”

  Drew looked to Dizzy and Bella. “What is it you people say in this country? Oh yeah, I plead the fourth.”


  “The fifth,” Dizzy corrected.

  Bella slapped Dizzy on the shoulder. “Hey, that might be something we’d want footage of.”

  “What?”

  “Grog practicing her mudras.” Bella looked my way. “Would that be okay?”

  I exchanged a glance and a nod with Drew. “I don’t see why not.”

  The energy in the room spiked with Bella nearly squealing with delight at having her first viable plan for the documentary. The kids, and their youthful innocence, were quickly growing on me.

  “However,” Drew put an immediate damper on the joy. “We should slate that for tomorrow. Grog and I need to get our beauty rest.”

  I was slightly shocked when the crew didn’t rev themselves into a whining frenzy. They were polite about being shooed out of the flat. The second the door closed behind their perky backsides, it dawned on me how exhausted I was.

  “Light my ass on fire, Drew, it’s only nine-thirty. Why am I so bloody tired already?”

  “Might it have something to do with shooting magic from your fingertips, hearing voices in your head, and singing your damn fool heart out?”

  “There is that.”

  Drew gestured to usher me from the room. “Go, get yourself to bed. I’ll be your maid for the night.”

  I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a doll.” As I was walking from the room, I looked over my shoulder and teased, “Don’t forget to put on the French maid outfit. You know how I love my Drew in heels.”

  Drew laughed, but only slightly, as I vanished from his sight.

  My bed beckoned. Under normal circumstances, a hot shower would be in order. Tonight, however, I would make an exception. My eyelids felt like lead curtains ready to seal out the world. Luckily, I had just enough energy to slip out of my pants and under the luxurious bed clothes. The heavy duvet pressed down upon my body to invite the sleep of angels. I was immediately swept away and into a wondrous dreamland.

  Or something like that.

  I found myself back in the dilapidated home of Jonah. In the distance I could hear the chanting of Vau-eal’s name, the sound dancing fear-fueled vibrations across my flesh. In the center of the room, Thessia knelt, hugging my bass tightly. With each sob to wrack her body, a scarlet drop of blood spilled from her eyes and floated above her frail frame. In the space between Thessia and the ceiling, the blood collected to form a shape—a body.

  My body.

  When my liquid self was completed, it tilted to a standing position and lowered until its booted feet touched down on the floor. Thessia stood, facing the entity, and mumbled under her breath. I drew in near enough that I should have been capable of discerning Thessia’s words; unfortunately, no matter how close I came, the secreted syllables were little more than static. Thessia then raised her hands before her, forming the same mudra I had in the studio, and shot a bolt of energy into the standing figure. My bloody twin shuddered but took the impact without losing integrity. With each blast from the mudra, my liquid self grew more and more solid.

  With her attention on the gestures, Thessia let slip my bass from her grasp, sending it crashing down on the floor. The strings rang out in a wall of dissonant notes. The blood-formed specter vibrated against the rumbling sound.

  In that instant, I was certain I heard Thessia whisper, “Come back to me.”

  The figure before Thessia coalesced for a second and then lost cohesion. A rain of blood spilled to the floor, soaking Thessia in the process. My mentor fell to her back and wept, creating blood-winged angels in the scarlet pool on the floor. Empathy pulled me down, until I was kneeling at my mentor’s side.

  I attempted to speak. When my lips parted, a cloud of moths erupted and flew in a chaotic cloud above us. Below me, Thessia cried out in vain. With her mouth open, the moths organized and fluttered, like a funnel, into her gaping maw; she choked and bucked until the last delicate wing had been swallowed whole.

  Seconds ticked into minutes, the room silent and motionless. I’d started to believe Thessia to be dead. As soon as I made to test that theory, her body spasmed until the eclipse of moths exploded from her mouth and flitted into an all-too familiar shape.

  Me.

  Once again, I found myself staring at my own image, this time one that was alive with a thousand tiny flutters. After a moment, the beating of the wings fell into synchronization; the moths seemed to be working as one.

  And then it dawned on me, what I was seeing. This moth-made-me was the very same thing I’d witnessed in the video—the blurry shadow. I wanted to believe that Thessia was trying to communicate from beyond. The message, however, was not clear. Was she in danger? Was I in danger? Before I could consider the possibility further, the cries from beyond the house rose in pitch and volume, only the sound shifted from “Vau-eal” to “Grog”. Over and over the chant cried out my name, the cacophony of voices morphing from many to one.

  “Grog!”

  My eyes blinked open, the images hovering before me momentarily blurred from truth. After a quick rub of the hands, my vision cleared to reveal Drew’s concerned face drawing nearer mine.

  “Another nightmare?” Drew asked.

  I nodded. “They’re getting worse.” I sat up. “Maybe worse isn’t the right way of putting it.”

  “Then what?” Drew’s voice was laced with concern.

  “Clearer.” I answered.

  Drew wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into an embrace. “What kind of madness are you seeing?”

  “Thessia. I believe she is behind the strange events of the day.”

  Drew sat back on the bed. “How so?”

  “She’s trying to recreate me in the Dark Seduction.”

  An unbelieving look painted a shadow of doubt across Drew’s face. “To what end?”

  There was the rub; I had no way of knowing why Thessia was attempting to forge a doppelgänger of me. I could only speculate, which never ended well.

  “Is she lonely? Trying to return to this world? Maybe she’s hoping to appease that dark bastard, Vau-eal, by tricking him into thinking she has you?”

  I grabbed for my bottled water and swallowed a mouthful. “I believe Thessia is hoping to communicate with me; maybe reaching out so I can help her return to The Planar Mortalis.”

  Drew’s eyes widened slightly. “The what?”

  My arms spread wide. “Here, Drew. I think Thessia is trying to return home and the only way she can is with my help.” I slipped back under the covers. “I know it sounds crazy. Quite honestly, I have absolutely no way of knowing if I’m right … or wrong, for that matter. All things being equal—”

  “You’re going with right?” Drew questioned.

  I nodded. “You know me so well.”

  “Let’s say, for shits and giggles, you are right. Maybe Thessia is attempting to communicate with you in order to curry a rather huge favor—said favor being you risking your life to open up some unknown doorway from The Dark Seduction. With such a portal open, Thessia could get back to the here and very much now. The part about that possibility I personally don’t like is you risking your life to open up a gateway from that Hell you’d only recently escaped from. How can you be sure the master of darkness wouldn’t leak through the portal to hunt you down?”

  I swallowed a fist-sized lump. “I can’t. This is all supposition on my part. Vau-eal could very easily sneak from out of The Seduction and wreak absolute havoc on the Earth. Or maybe it is nothing more than a dream, God is an astronaut, and Oz exists behind a rainbow of fruity flavors.” My fingers wove their way around Drew’s hand. “This is Thessia we’re talking about, Drew. Insane or not, I can’t sit back and do nothing. You know what that woman means to me.”

  Drew grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Just don’t do anything stupid, Geepers. Promise me that. I already lost Al. I cannot lose you as well.”

  “We lost Al.” Reluctantly, I nodded. “Fine. I’ll keep watching the struggle from this reality and promise to not open any doo
rs that might leak the big bad from the hellmouth.”

  Drew grinned. “Buffy much?”

  “That’s exactly what I needed to hear, my friend. As much as I desire Thessia by my side, I certainly couldn’t function without you. Like you said, one third of Die So Fluid has already been taken from us. I will not stand by and allow yet another. No matter how strong your chivalry grows, do me no favors by reaching back into The Dark Seduction for someone we cannot be sure still exists. Don’t get me wrong, Drew, I would greatly appreciate your wanting to return a spot of happiness to me, but I think we both know how quickly that action would damn us all to Hell.”

  A dark smile spread across Drew’s lips. “Is it just me and my male brain, or are you, through your feminine super power of subtext, asking me to do what you’re telling me not to do?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Subtext or no, you are not to venture back into that realm. Do you hear me, Richards?”

  Drew knew I only ever used his last name when shit was in the process of getting very much real. He nodded, tipped an imaginary hat, and kissed me on the cheek. “I won’t leave your side, darling.”

  “Is that a promise, or a threat?” I dared ask.

  “Both,” was all Drew needed in response to my question. “Now, my Queen, it’s time you tucked yourself back into bed. We have a long day of recording tomorrow and her majesty’s voice must be up for the task.”

  “Would you mind hanging out until I…”

  The grin that spread wide across Drew’s mouth nearly lit up the entire room. “Happily. Does Princess need me to sing her a lullaby?”

  “Wait, I’ve been demoted?” I offered up a girlish nod, happy to know my dearest friend had my back. “You know the one.”

  Softly, Drew sang The Cure’s ‘Lullaby.’ The gentle melody and slightly horrific lyrics never failed to send me off to the land of slumber. Drew’s voice didn’t carry the Edward Gorey-esque charm of Robert Smith, but the care behind the tone was pure and powerful. The candy-striped legs of the spider man carried me back into the dreamscape; this time, there was no Thessia, no Dark Seduction, and, best of all, no Vau-eal.