Gritty

by Colleen Baxter Sullivan

  My daily life was pretty well modelled after that first day, although Mom later got a nanny when a report came home stating that I had anxiety issues. I never told my mother how the nanny would beat me and threaten to hurt me even more if I told on her, not that my mother would have cared. Dr. Marie Desjardin had a growing practice. Money was no object but she chose not to care whether I had supplies or a uniform that fit properly. My feet were always hurting because she would pick up my shoes for me rather than have them fitted. I did not dare tell her how uncomfortable I was for fear she would make the nanny return them and with her came criticism that followed harsh reprimand. I endured much more than a small boy should in those early years. It hardened me, but as of late, I cry over anything. Today was one of those days. I wanted to cry out in frustration. I felt used.

  * * * *

  “Oh hello Mr. Garwood. How are you today?”

  “Hi Peter. I’m fine, how’s the leg?”

  “Coming down that hill I sideswiped into a fence. The doctor says that it will never be the same. I can still do my duties though.” He once again looked at his watch and said, “Got to be off now. Miss Lexus wants some supplies. Stewart is waiting out front. Nice to see you.”

  “See you later Pete.” The human mind always intrigued me. It can actually play tricks on you. Maybe it is nature’s way of protecting you. We call it a form of mental illness but I am starting to think it is way beyond any comprehensible form of explanation. When doctors cannot find a cure or meaning for irrational behaviour they put it in a box and label it with all the other phobias or components relating to strange behaviour, and then they put them under one category, mental illness. It is almost like a miscellaneous file. Peter has turned off the world and so be it. Maybe somewhere along his life`s path, he remembers having a mother and he feels an unexplainable bond with Lexus. He is probably confused as all hell so he makes up stories and to him these stories are his life … his reality. It is the only thing that he feels he has control of. It is not natural for instinct to not play a factor in his closeness to Lexus. He must sense something. Lexus did mention that he does remember at times.

  I peered in the kitchen and Lexus was finishing off the breakfast dishes. She seemed older. The strain of the last few months were starting to take their toll on her. Her hair, which was usually perfectly coiffed was rather unkempt. She had put on the pounds and her back had a curve to it that was typical of advancing age. But when she turned around to look at me, I was lost in the depth of her eyes. They spoke to me, drew me in. No words were necessary… a look that she had given me many times before.

  “Do you want a coffee or something to eat?” she inquired.

  “Is Gritty around?”

  “No, today he has an appointment.”

  “You mean he left the house! I thought that was dangerous! What if someone sees him?”

  “He went by car. He is being brought to his destination and the driver will wait until he is finished. He has a doctor’s appointment. He will be back in a couple of hours.”

  I bet he has, probably at the Douglas.

  “I hope everything is alright. What is he at the doctor’s for?”

  “Just a checkup, nothing serious.”

  “Right! Great, I need to talk to you alone. Do you have the paper?”

  “Yes, I’ll get it. Are you sure you don’t want something?”

  “Perhaps a coffee, but I’ll get it,” I answered.

  Even her walk seemed slower as she made her exit. I couldn’t help but think that she might be in trouble. A man like Gritty might be threatening her. I would try to find out and see what her real feelings were about the situation. I could only hope that she would find it in her heart to trust me.

  “Here it is. It is the only proof that I have of his birth. I even have the doctor’s signature on it. So you can see why I want to keep this information confidential. I am sure he did not follow the correct procedure. The birth was all hush at the time.” She cautiously handed the envelope over to me. “I want it back. You can read it but not keep it.”

  I noticed that her hand was shaking as she pushed the envelope toward me. The journey across the table from her to me seemed an eternity. I finally started to read. Lexus did not take her eyes off me or the envelope. She was waiting patiently for a reaction. “It seems perfect to me. The name is listed, time and year of birth. There is no mention of Gritty being the father. Why’s that? And it says that he was born at the Montreal General.”

  “I wanted to take full responsibility for my son. Gritty and I were not married and we felt it best to keep him out of it. I knew he would help me with Peter; that was never a concern. As for place of birth, now that is where the doctor could get in trouble. He delivered many babies at the General but not mine. He listed the birth place as a means of covering his tracks and no one would be the wiser. There was never a need.”

  “The hospital has records. Weren’t you afraid of being found out?”

  “Never! When is that information ever an issue? Doctor M assured me that it would not be a problem. He was adamant about never being connected to this place. We worked together and that client relationship is still in effect. May I have the paper back now?”

  She exhaled as I returned it to her. The trust that she had for me must have been questionable. It took her a lot to part with the information. She had to know that I would not betray her.

  “Is that his name, Doctor M?”

  “You know better than that. I would never reveal his true identity, not even to you. So with that out of the way, will you continue the case? Will you help Gritty?”

  “Unfortunately you did reveal it. Doctor Marchand’s signature was on the birth certificate.” She looked like she would lose it and once again I promised her my loyalty.

  I knew it would not be easy but I had to ask her some really personal questions. What was Gritty hiding? How was she involved with it all? And the result of today`s answers would make my final decision. I had no idea if I would go forward with the case. Lexus was the only person who could convince me otherwise.

  “I want to help but I have to ask you some questions that you might not want to answer. Lex you have to come clean with me. Remember, I am on your side but I will not continue the case unless I have all the facts in front of me.”

  “What more do you want. I gave you the birth certificate. It shows that he is my son. You will have to take my word for it that Gritty is his father. Don’t you believe me?”

  “Of course I believe you. That’s not the problem. You must not reveal to anyone what I am about to tell you. Not even Gritty! Do I have your word?”

  She looked down as if she were about to give it all up and then she seemed to have found new energy as her demeanor changed. “I don’t like conspiracies or secrets but you have my word. If this is going to help Gritty; I promise not to say anything.”

  “Richard got very comfortable with a girl called Jessica. She is the receptionist at Invor. He unfortunately promised her the world and she is in love with him. He also gave her a line that he is some kind of born again Christian who is saving himself until his wedding night.” Lexus let out a laugh like a truck driver. Her ample body was heaving back and forth with such vibration that I thought she would fall off her chair.

  “Saving himself… that is the funniest thing that I have ever heard. That boy is so clever. You made my day Adam. I needed that.”

  I continued. “Well because this Jessica woman is blinded by love, she will do anything for Richard and that includes removing employee information, their files, and giving certain ones to us to look over. Gritty’s was one of the files that she pulled up.”

  Lexus did a complete turnabout and now she was fuming. “You have information about Gritty? I am sure it’s totally subjective on the part of Invor. They can say anything they want about him.”

  “Wait a minute. W
hy so defensive? You don’t even know what was in the file.”

  “I can only imagine. They hated him and because he was having an affair with their president Mr. Forth, they would say anything to get rid of him. You know Adam, he is not mental. He had some issues but nothing serious.”

  “Who says anything about mental issues? Why are you presuming that is in the file? What do you know Lex?”

  “I’m not stupid. I know what you saw. Is it even worth my time explaining this to you?” she said with a defeated glare.

  “Of course it is worth your time. I want to hear your side of the story. I respect what you have to say. You have to trust me or there is no reason to go forward. Please Lex, tell me what you know.”

  * * * *

  She poured more coffee and sat down. I felt that she knew at that moment she had no choice but to come clean. She looked defeated. She remained silent for the longest time and then began.

  “I’ve told you the beginning and how I first met Gritty. It was through Invor and his relationship with Gerald Forth. I actually thought he was a pompous son of a bitch. He was always bragging and he was really full of himself.”

  “Are we talking about the same man? Gritty seems rather reserved to me.” She gave an embarrassed laugh and continued.

  “Gritty is a player. He will be who you want him to be; it depends on his audience at the time. When I first met him he was full of himself. He had money; dressed immaculately and was a real charismatic person.”

  “That is so surreal! I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Please go on,” I said.

  “Grenville and I have a very unique relationship. It is the only one that I feel vulnerable with and that is because I love him so much. I know it is a toxic relationship but one that I need. When Forth first introduced us many years ago, from that first encounter I was mesmerized with him. He is like the drug that I am hooked on. He was carrying on with Forth and yet flirtatious with me, all at the same time. I couldn’t figure it out. And it doesn’t take much to encourage me. I was lonely and in dire need of affection. I knew it was only a matter of time until we made love. I told you about our one night of passion, the night that Peter was conceived.”

  “The time factor is what is confusing to me. If Forth found out about Peter, you mean he kept Grenville employed at Invor and from what I gather for many years after that. What a crazy situation for both of them! They go from lovers to just business associates. Or were they still lovers?”

  “We told Forth that I was pregnant and he cooled it with Grenville and concentrated on his relationship with his wife. He was in love with Gritty and they came back here a couple of times but they were never the same. They couldn’t get it together and rekindle what they had. It stopped soon after. He met someone else, and eventually left his wife.”

  “Do you think that Gritty was blackmailing Forth?”

  “Of course I do. If the directors ever found out about their liaison, they would both have been dismissed. He had a lot on Forth!”

  “I thought that Forth was the owner of Invor!”

  “He gets government grants. He works hand in hand with the HPFB. As long as he is not self-sufficient, he must abide by their rules. So to answer your question again, Grenville was for sure threatening him with exposure. He goes after what he wants, with no fear of consequences. He can be brutally cruel. I have seen this first hand, being the subject to this many times.”

  “What, has he ever hurt you? Are you frightened of him?”

  “At times, but that is not your concern. I have been dealing with this for 25 or so years? He suffers from Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). It makes him aggressive.”

  “Was he born with it?”

  “I only found out about it when he started to get physically and emotionally abusive with me. I at first wanted nothing to do with him.”

  “That was what the police report was all about, wasn’t it? Then you dropped the charges. You mentioned that you were the lady on the curb being assaulted.”

  “Yes, I was. That was also when I found out that he suffered from HPD. He promised to get treatment for the condition. And he has. He is with his doctor today.”

  “I must admit I looked up HPD. It seems to be a desire to receive attention. Sometimes the patient has many ways of receiving this. He might be a sharp dresser: verbally loud, sexually permissive; and in order to get his high, he will perform theatrical stunts of great magnitude to be noticed. He does not take to criticism, always looking for approval. Did you ever find out the cause of this condition?”

  “You really have done your homework. You are describing Grenville as if you were his doctor. Adam I am not a therapist but from what I gather from speaking to his, it might stem from lack of attention from his mother. But they are not clear as to whether this is an inherited disorder or not. His mother was vain. She was a Montreal actress, she was totally self-absorbed and did not lavish much attention on her son. Grenville’s feelings of worth or lack of self-worth was evident as a young child. He felt abandoned by his mother. It was only natural that he would seek attention in whatever way possible. He learned it from a pro. She couldn’t even give him a proper name.”

  “Don’t you feel you are in above your head?”

  “He is the father of my child. What was I to do? He can go years appearing normal and that is the man I fell in love with. He really can be sweet!”

  “It all makes sense now. Forth rejected Gritty and his ego took a killing so he probably put on his theatrical face and threatened Forth with disclosure. And he could do this to perfection. Forth kept him in the company and then covered for him the best he could even when sexual harassment charges were placed against him. He, I’m sure, paid off these ladies very nicely. Hush money! Then he once again seeks attention and tells everyone that he invented a cure and finally Invor gets rid of him. That was probably the last stance they took with him. It was all a need, his need for getting attention.”

  “You’re right! And then he goes from wealth to living in a box. Do you understand the cycle now? Drama and theatrics are what he does when he wants attention. Adam he did not expect you to find him. But with his personality he felt that he had a new audience and did a great job of convincing you. You were just part of his play time, you were his entertainment for a while.”

  “You knew that he had never found a cure,” I said getting madder by the moment.

  “No, and I still don’t but seeing the nature of the situation, I am in doubt. I do love him and you were the one that brought him here; what was I to do?”

  “When was the last time that you saw Grit, that is, before I came to your door with him?”

  “Adam, he is back and forth all the time. He comes to see Peter regularly. He is a good father. It is a shame that Peter does not know who he is. We feel it is better that way. He sees me as his boss and Gritty as a friend. He was traumatized as a child and his memory of his parents are long gone. And it is working out just fine for us all.”

  “When you say traumatized, what do you mean?”

  “I guess I am using the wrong set of words. He was distressed at his time of birth, lack of oxygen and due to my wanting to cover everything up he suffered mentally. I should have had him in the hospital, but you know that; I am repeating myself.

  “What about Bobby? How does he fit in to this arrangement? And you never told me what happened to Gritty’s mother.”

  “Bobby thinks we are family although he knows better. I am just that wonderful lady who looks after everyone and gives them all Christmas dinner and holiday comfort when needed. Bobby thinks of me as an aunt. I get to smother him with kisses and love, and I feel very grateful with just being part of his life.”

  “You’re lying Lexus! There is more to Bobby than you are letting on. Where is his family now? What do you take me for, a total idiot! I want to throw up my hands and be done with all of you. I hat
e lies. So what is it? You tell me everything or I walk out of this door and you never see me again!”

  “No, I would like to give you some flabbergasted tale and tell you what you want to hear but it is just that. I am a terrible mother who put my clients and their needs before my kid. Then I tried to mother Bobby, someone else’s kid but I managed to screw that up as well. I had the best of both worlds. Grenville and I were not your typical type of PTA family, but we did what we could. We were there for both boys. Now do you see why I want to protect Grenville so much? He is my history, Peter’s father and the love of my life.”

  “That’s not my question. Does Bobby know that you are Peter’s mother?”

  She started to cry and yelled with a hysterical tone. “Yes, dammit he knows. Are you happy now? He lived with Grenville to protect him from all this shit around here but he knew that I was Peter’s mother. It was explained to him that Gritty and I were separated and Gritty looked after him, seeing as he had no other family.”

  “It seemed that Bobby assumed the role of the other sibling even though not blood related.”

  “Yes he did. We included him in everything. Peter does not know though. He would never understand due to his mental incapability. He thinks that I am the lady that he works for.”

  “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

  “It’s the truth. I’m sorry Adam but I didn’t want to bring Bobby into this. I wanted to protect him, that’s all! I wanted to keep him out of this case.”

  I looked in her direction and I went with my gut and believed her. “No more lies or I am off the case.” I reached over and hugged her and knew that I would help her no matter what. I had no choice but to continue my line of questioning. We very rarely had the opportunity of being alone.