But as I feel resistance on the end of the lead, I realise that for once, it’s not me everyone’s laughing at.
It’s Crystal Fairybelle.
Because he’s stopped to have a pee against the end of one of the pews.
What should I do now? There wasn’t anything in the Guide to Being a Perfect Bridesmaid Amber gave me that covered this.
And there’s no way in the world I’m picking him up to take him outside. As much as I hate this dress, I’m not getting covered in dog wee for anyone.
I gaze around helplessly, but Amber and Mark are too busy making gooey eyes at each other to notice, and Mum shrugs helplessly. So I just wait for him to finish. After the Niagara Falls of wees is over – for such a small dog, Crystal Fairybelle must have a disproportionately large bladder – we finally make it to the front of the church.
When the ceremony starts, the vicar starts talking about what it means to find your perfect match. How true love is the greatest gift of all, and that getting married means spending the rest of your life with your best friend. I manage to hold it together pretty well, but as soon as Amber and Mark start saying their vows, I’m blubbering away like a baby.
Because once again, all I can think about is how much I miss Danny.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Amber’s evening reception has just kicked off in a hotel on the outskirts of Collinsbrooke. It already feels like this day’s gone on forever. I can hardly believe that my big sister, instigator of the craziest nuptials this side of Hollywood, is officially a grown-up, married woman having a baby. Scary or what? Although that’s nothing compared to the horror I’m witnessing right now.
Mark is swaying by the DJ booth, holding a microphone and serenading my sister with an out-of-tune rendition of ‘The Power of Love’.
These two are so cringingly over-the-top sugary sweet they could rot your teeth.
As the final bars of Mark’s song ring out and everyone applauds, the DJ announces the bride and groom are about to take to the floor for their first dance. Yep, the slush fest ain’t over yet.
Mark and Amber wrap their arms around each other and start to sway to the music. The whole room breathes a collective, “Ahhhh,” and I swallow back the urge to barf. But when Amber and Mark begin kissing very, very passionately and there’s more than a glimpse of tongue, everyone starts shuffling and mumbling in an embarrassed fashion, not quite sure where to look.
Um, inappropriate, much? I’m out of here.
As I head towards the bar for a drink, I spot Aunty Lou gesturing at me from one of the tables.
Forcing a smile, I walk in her direction.
“Suzy, what’s this music?” Aunty Lou shouts.
“It’s the first dance song,” I explain.
“Something’s gone wrong?”
“Nothing’s gone wrong. It’s the first dance song,” I try again.
“I heard you the first time. But what’s gone wrong?” Aunty Lou asks, eagerly gazing around for the scene of the disaster.
I decide to change the subject.
“Are you having a nice time, Aunty Loon?” I say, then cringe as I realise my slip of the tongue.
“What did you just call me?” Aunty Lou snaps.
“Aunty Lou,” I say, smiling so warmly she has no choice but to believe me.
“Hmmm,” Aunty Lou growls suspiciously.
Phew. Got out of that one. I so knew she faked that whole deafness thing whenever it suited her. Just wait until I tell Mum.
“I’m just going to get a drink, I’ll be right back,” I fib.
At the bar, I ask for a lemonade, then find a quiet corner to go and sit down in. I’m trying not to be too depressed, but it’s proving an impossible task.
Over the last few hours I’ve come to realise that when you are newly single, feeling cruddy about love, life, and, well, pretty much everything, the last place you want to be is at an all-singing, all-dancing, full-on romantic wedding reception, surrounded by every coupled-up member of your family and your own personal stalker. (Toby has been trailing me all afternoon.)
Everyone’s in a twosome except me. Even Harry’s befriended one of Mark’s nephews and judging from the way they’re whispering and laughing, they’re plotting something we’re going to wish they hadn’t. She and her new partner-in-crime have already poured the cream left over from the coffees into the pockets of all the abandoned suit jackets, set off Harry’s fart machine behind every person in the room and sucked several helium balloons so they’re speaking like Minnie Mouse.
The whole flipping universe, including my seven-year-old sister, is paired off.
And I’m doomed to be alone forever.
Yawning, I sneak a peek at my watch. How can it only be eight o’clock? I’m zonked and the reception’s not due to finish until after midnight. Being heartbroken is exhausting work.
Across the room, Toby’s heading towards me with steely determination. Gah! I have to escape.
Where are the toilets? I’ll definitely be safe from him there.
To my relief the loos are empty. I flip down the toilet lid, sinking onto it gratefully. The half-glass of champagne I drank earlier has left me a bit fuzzy. I’d like nothing more than to go home, but it’s deffo not cool to sneak out early from your sister’s wedding. Besides, Mum would kill me.
A loud bang makes me jump as the door to the ladies flies open, accompanied by the sound of rustling material.
“Now, little baby, Mummy just needs to go wee-wees,” I hear Amber say as she shuts herself into the cubicle next to me. I can’t believe she’s talking to her baby already. It must only be the size of a peanut or something.
There’s more rustling. “Oh no, my dress is too big.” She knocks on the wall dividing us. “Suzypoos, that’s you, isn’t it? I saw you come in here a minute ago.”
“Hi, Amber,” I say wearily.
“Lovely sister, and my favourite bridesmaid,” Amber says, as I wince. I so know what’s coming. “I can’t sit down properly in my pretty, pretty dress, and I’m bursting for a wee-wee. Please come and help?”
Yup. There it is. After everything else that’s happened today, I’ve now got to be a toilet assistant to my sister.
I’m pretty confident this particular duty wasn’t in the Guide to Being a Perfect Bridesmaid book either.
“Do I have to?”
“Please, Suzy. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. I’m desperate.”
I roll my eyes heavenwards and stand up. “All right, all right, I’m coming.”
Her dress is so huge it takes me a while to squeeze in next to Amber, but after a lot of twisting and turning, I finally manage to manoeuvre her skirt out of the way.
After Amber’s finished the second-longest wee in world history, she heads over to the sinks to wash her hands.
“Come on, Amber, you’d better get back to your party,” I say.
“In a minute,” Amber says, staring in the mirror and fiddling with her hair. “I just want to have a little chat to you, first.”
“Um, okay,” I say warily. What’s this all about? Probably some other crazy bridesmaid’s thing she’s just invented. Or she wants me to call the neighbours and check on Crystal Fairybelle again.
“When I came into your room this morning, you were talking to Millie, and I thought I heard you say that you still like Danny,” Amber says.
I’m completely taken aback. This I was not expecting.
Amber looks at me expectantly. “Well?” she asks. “Do you?”
I lean back against the sinks. It’s not going to make any difference if I tell her. “Yeah,” I say gloomily. “But like I told you, he’s got another girlfriend, so there’s nothing I can do about it. Now, as there’s nothing else to say about that, why don’t we get you back to your reception.”
“Okeydokes,” Amber says cheerily as I gather up her train. “Have you had any wedding cake yet? It’s delish. Make sure you get some. Ooh, look, there’s Harry. I’m just going to go and have a
quick word… See you later, Suzypoos.”
Actually, I am pretty peckish. And the cake does look good. I’m making a beeline for it when Mum appears and grabs my arm.
“Suzy, come and dance. Your dad’s refusing as usual and there’s a horrible man out there who keeps making moves on me. Can you believe he keeps pinching my bottom?” Without giving me time to object, Mum hauls me onto the dance floor. Her moves are excruciating. She’s an even worse dancer than Danny, and that’s saying something.
No! I must stop thinking about Danny. I must, I must.
“This is a terrible song, Mum,” I protest.
Mum grabs my hands and starts swinging my arms backwards and forwards. Her bosom jiggles terrifyingly.
“What are you talking about?” Mum shouts over the music. “It’s a classic! They don’t make them this good these days. Now, just copy what I do.”
To my horror, Mum starts doing some warped kind of body pumping, complete with improvised shimmies and jazz hands.
“Mum, stop,” I beg. “Everyone’s looking.”
“Jealous, that’s what they are, Suzy,” Mum says. “It’s not just anyone who can freestyle like this.”
Mum keeps me on the dance floor for ages, but I eventually sneak away while she’s fighting off the bum-pincher. Ignoring Aunty Loon, who seems to have made a miraculous recovery from her hip trouble and is urging me to join her in the actions to ‘YMCA’, I walk over to a nearby chair and sit down.
Ahhh… that feels so good. My feet were seriously starting to hurt. I lean back in relief, then immediately jolt back upright. Because someone who’s the spitting image of Danny has just walked across the room with Harry.
But when I look again, he’s disappeared, swallowed up by the crowd. Danny’s out with Jade at that party, I remind myself. Of course it wasn’t him.
Darnation, I’m thinking about Danny again. I’m obsessed. But I just miss him so much. It’s like there’s a massive cloud of gloom following me everywhere, constantly reminding me Danny’s not my boyfriend any more.
I have to work out some way to stop this and get my head under control.
“Ladies and gentleman, can I have your attention for a moment?” Amber’s voice echoes around the room accompanied by a sharp squeal of feedback.
A loud cheer breaks out as everyone stops dancing and turns to face Amber expectantly. She’s standing by the DJ booth, clutching a microphone.
Oh no. She can’t be doing a song for Mark now. One serenade this evening was more than enough. My ears can’t take another.
The DJ quickly adjusts the mike before Amber speaks again. “I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves?”
Everyone whoops their agreement and Amber beams. “That’s great. Okay, most of you here know Suzy, my sister, who’s been an amazing bridesmaid today. Where are you, Suzypoos?”
As the crowd starts to clap, I reluctantly get to my feet and half-heartedly wave. Now what’s she up to? Haven’t I been embarrassed enough?
“I’ve got someone here who’s got a special message for Suzy,” Amber says. “Can you put the record on now?” she asks, turning to the DJ.
I’m confused. What’s going on? What record?
The opening bars of a familiar song echo through the room and my heart leaps in response.
It’s The Drifting, ‘All I Can Think of is You’.
And then Danny’s walking towards me, making his way through the crowd of aging rellies.
It can’t be… how can it be… I mean, he wouldn’t be here, would he?
But unless I’m hallucinating, it definitely is Danny who stops in front of me, smiling nervously.
“Hi, Suzy,” he says.
I think I’m about to pass out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Danny’s here.
Danny’s actually here, at Amber’s wedding reception. Like, right in front of me. I’m tempted to do that cartoon thing of rubbing my eyes with my fists before doing a double take. He’s wearing a white top with a long-sleeved shirt over it and some new jeans, and his hair’s all tousled.
I’ve never seen him looking so good.
My cheeks are on fire because everyone’s eyes are on me. Yes, I’m blown away that Danny’s here, but at the same time, I’m very aware my whole family is watching this.
Wow. From the guy who never made any public gestures, this is a pretty big deal.
“Dance with me?” Danny says, over the music.
I nod my head, unable to speak. I’m still not entirely convinced I’m not hallucinating the whole thing.
But when Danny wraps his arms around me and I nestle into his chest, I know this is real. I breathe in the scent of him, so different to Zach’s, but so overwhelmingly familiar. Danny’s heart’s pounding so fast I can feel it as our bodies press together, which makes me smile to myself.
We move to the music, but it’s hard. The beat’s all wrong for a slow dance and so we’re bobbing around awkwardly.
But it feels great. Embarrassing, but great.
“Everyone’s staring,” he whispers.
“Do you blame them?” I ask. “You just crashed my sister’s wedding reception.”
“I didn’t crash it,” Danny says. He stops dancing and moves me away slightly to see my face. “I got a call from Harry on your phone asking me to come. She said you wanted to see me but were busy having your photo taken and couldn’t talk to me yourself.”
“Wait a minute,” I say. “Harry called you on my phone? I gave that to Mum to look after.”
A quick glance around the room and I spot Harry with Amber, watching us intently. What’s going on?
Then it all clicks into place.
The conversation I had with Amber in the toilets. The chat Amber had with Harry straight after. And Harry was always nicking my phone to text Danny.
“My sisters appear to have set us up,” I say. “I didn’t know anything about this.”
“Oh. Right,” Danny says, tightly. “Well, in that case, I’d better go.”
“No, don’t,” I say, grabbing hold of his arm. “Please stay. Although… I need to know. Did they choose the song, as well?”
“No. That was me,” Danny says, his cheeks turning pink.
In that case, I’ll temporarily hold off murdering my siblings. Just until I find out what’s going on here.
“Look, Suzy, we seriously need to talk,” Danny says. “I… I found out some stuff this evening, and when I got Harry’s text I realised I had to see you. When I got here, Amber said I should dedicate a song to you, and I thought of The Drifting, and, well, the name of this song kind of said everything perfectly. All I can think of is you, Suzy. God, I can’t believe I just said that out loud. Talk about lame. It sounded much better in my head.”
Did I hear that right? Is this Danny’s way of saying he wants me back?
I’m so confused.
As The Drifting dies away and the intro to ‘The Locomotion’ blasts around the room, Danny cringes. “Do you want to head outside, go for a walk or something?”
“Sounds good,” I say gratefully.
In the gardens, we find a bench and sit down. An awkward silence falls between us and at first I have no idea what to say. I’m majorly weirded out. Why is Danny here? What does he want to talk about? What was the deal with the Drifting song back there? And, for that matter, why is he here with me and not with his girlfriend? There are just too many questions I need answers to. I’ll start with the most important.
“So, um, why aren’t you with Jade?” I ask, trying to sound casual as I curl my legs up underneath me.
“I broke it off.” Danny gazes off into the distance.
Say WHAT now??? Did my ears hear that correctly? Stay cool, Suze. For once in your life, be calm and composed.
“You did?” I say, eagerly. “When?”
Okay. My calm and composed still needs work.
Danny’s quiet for ages. “Earlier this evening.”
“And is that what you wanted to t
alk to me about?” I ask.
“Not exactly,” Danny says. “Wow, this whole thing is such a mess. Suze, there’s no easy way to tell you this… You and I, we broke up because of Jade and Kara.”
“What? No, we didn’t. What are you talking about?” This is getting more befuddling by the second.
“The whole thing was a bet. Kara told me this evening.”
It takes me a moment to absorb what he’s just said. “You… you what?” I splutter, when his words sink in. “What do you mean it was a bet?”
“Jade apparently claimed she could get any boy she wanted to go out with her. Kara bet that she couldn’t get me and…” Danny’s voice trails off.
My mouth falls open. I knew those two were low, but this takes the flipping biscuit.
“Kara only told me because Jade’s really close to winning,” Danny says sadly. “She had to go out with me for a full month and the time’s nearly up. Kara knew if she told me, I’d break up with Jade. I don’t think she’d expected Jade to stick it out for so long, to be honest.”
I’m shaking my head in disbelief. “No. This doesn’t make sense. It can’t have been a bet because you liked Jade, didn’t you?”
Danny doesn’t answer.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” I press. Hard as it’s going to be to hear, I need to know the truth.
“At first I kind of did,” Danny confesses. “I was flattered. Jade’s hot and girls like that don’t usually look twice at people like me.”
Ouch. That hurt. But… I suppose he does kind of have a point – I felt the same about Zach. I fiddle with my bracelet as Danny continues.
“But I realised soon enough that Jade’s not exactly easy to be around. She’s moody about everything, and her friends are so annoying – all they want to do is party. She never wanted to just hang out either, although Kara told me one of the terms of the bet was that we had to be seen in public together regularly. Jade put her all into winning; you know how competitive she is. She’s a girl who doesn’t like losing. At anything.” He shrugs like he doesn’t care, but I can tell how hurt he is by the whole thing. “I left Bryony’s party after Kara told me, and dumped Jade by text as I was walking home. I’ve been ignoring her calls since, so I can only imagine how well that went down.”
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