The Brightsiders

by Jen Wilde

  “Well,” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “We were making out like the world was on fire. And now, we’re … walking on an island that looks creepily like the one from Lost.”

  I stop and look around, realizing he’s right, and I have no idea which way we came from.

  “Maybe we should head back to the boat,” I say, spinning on my heels. “I don’t wanna end up like them.”

  He laughs, and I try not to notice how it makes his abs tighten.

  “I dunno. I’d be okay with being stuck out here for a while.” He steps closer, chest to chest, and snakes his arms around my waist. “With you.”

  And then he gives me that look again, and my mind explodes into a fireball of incomprehensible expletives and nothing else matters except for how good this feels.

  I crush my mouth to his, suddenly not caring that this is seriously risky or that I don’t know where we are or that our friends could stumble upon us any second.

  Alfie’s hands run down my back, sliding over my bare skin. I stand on my tiptoes to get better access to his mouth, and he lifts me off the grass. The voice in my head tries to stop me, begs me to listen to it instead of obeying my vagina, but I ignore it.

  But then I hear another voice, and it’s one I can’t ignore.

  “Alfie and Em are probably hiding,” Will says from a distance. “I bet you a million dollars they’re waiting to jump out and scare us right now. Frightsider style.”

  Alfie chuckles. “Guess again,” he mutters to me. He lowers me back to the ground and takes my hand, pulling me farther into the jungle. Our feet slip and slide on the dirt and grass, but we don’t slow down. We laugh and pant and run as fast as we can, until we reach a glittering rock pool with a powerful waterfall cascading into it.

  “Race you,” I say, before bursting into a sprint. I feel him hot on my heels as I leap into the water, feeling like I’ve just jumped into a picture-perfect postcard. I float onto my back and stare up at the clear blue sky, asking myself the same question I’ve been asking since the day I first heard a Brightsiders song on the radio: How is this my life?

  Alfie stands in the water, spreads his arms out wide, and falls gracefully onto his back, floating alongside me.

  “We’re like otters,” I say.

  “Hermione’s Patronus,” he says matter-of-factly.

  “Yeah! You know that when otters float like this, they hold hands so they don’t lose each other?” I ask. He doesn’t reply, and I wonder if he can hear me. “Alfie?”

  I feel his hand take mine, and I know he heard me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “Did you hear that?” Alfie asks, breaking a long, comfortable silence.

  We both stand up in the water, listening intently. Laughter rings out, echoing off the cliff above us.

  “I think that’s Charlie,” I say quietly.

  Alfie starts walking out of the water, but I pull him back by the hand.

  He cocks his head to the side and smirks. “Still not done with me, huh?”

  I shake my head. More laughter bounces around us. He looks at something behind me and nods toward it.

  “This way,” he says, wading through the water. I follow him, and we swim over to the waterfall. When we reach it, I see a small cave on the other side, just big enough for us to hide in. I hold my breath and go under, feeling the weight of the water hitting the pool as I swim into the cave. When I rise to the surface, I feel like I’ve entered a magical realm. Sunlight scatters in, reflecting off the cave walls like a kaleidoscope. Other than that, it’s dark and cool, and all I can hear is the sound of the thundering water.

  Something grabs my waist, and I scream. Alfie pops up in front of me, holding onto my hips and laughing.

  “Gotcha,” he says. I give him a mock glare and splash him.

  He cranes his neck, admiring the cave. “Wow. I bet the acoustics in here would be sweet.” And just like that, he starts singing Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.” His voice is so strong that I can hear it clearly over the rushing water, and he’s right: The acoustics in here are amazing. The words float out of his mouth and off the crevices in the cave walls, creating a sound so good I need to get in on it. I sing along, belting out the emotionally charged lyrics until I feel my own voice vibrating in my heart. When we’re done, we look at each other and smile.

  Nothing lifts me up like music. Sometimes, when I’m really connected to a song, I feel like I’m floating, like my soul is rising out of my body and into space.

  “Remember when we were just starting out,” he says, “and we added echoes like that in GarageBand?”

  I smile at the memory. “Yeah. And we’d sit in your room all night, eating Ben and Jerry’s and testing out all the sound effects.”

  “What about that song Ry made?” he asks, grinning. “The one that was almost all fart sounds, and then ten seconds of applause.”

  I laugh hard. All those times spent in Alfie’s room with Ryan were once the only bright spots in my day. We’d joke around and play music and watch Netflix, and for a few hours a night I could forget what was waiting for me at home. On good nights, my parents would be passed out by the time I got home. On bad nights, I’d just go right back to Alfie’s, where life was normal, and fun, and quiet. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him.

  And that’s when it hits me: fooling around with Alfie risks losing all that. I lock eyes with him, and his smile fades.

  “What?” he asks, peering outside. “Did you hear something?”

  “No,” I say. “But we should go back.”

  He frowns and swims closer, his nose just inches away from mine. “But I thought you wanted…” He trails off, and I know why. He doesn’t know how to finish that sentence. Neither of us do. Neither of us has any idea what we’re doing here. And that’s dangerous.

  “We need to not do this,” I say. “It’ll just get weird. Or worse.”

  He watches me for a second, furrowing his brow. “Did I do something wrong?”

  I shake my head. “No, nothing. I just don’t think it’s the smartest idea.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “Maybe not the smartest,” he says. “But it’s definitely the funnest.” I give him a blank stare, and his face drops.

  “Wait, you’re serious, aren’t you?” he asks. “You really think things will get weird?”

  “Yeah. I mean, it’s already kinda weird,” I say. “Sneaking off from our friends, finding secret hideouts…”

  “Oh,” he says, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Sure. I get it. Well, if we hurry we can catch up with the others.”

  * * *

  “All you gotta do,” Kass says, “is hit shuffle on your Most-Played Songs list, and then lip-synch the shit out of it.”

  We’re all sitting in the living area of the yacht after dinner, sharing popcorn and deciding which game to play.

  Chloe claps excitedly. “I love this. The only rule is that everyone has to make total losers of themselves.”

  Kassidy high-fives them. “Yes! Winner gets…” She runs to the kitchen island, looking around. She picks something up and smiles. “The last pint of Ben and Jerry’s!”

  Will leans forward on the couch. “Loser has to jump off the boat nude!”

  We all laugh, agreeing to the highly classy terms.

  “Okay,” Chloe says, glancing around. “Who’s going first?”

  Ryan throws his hand up. “I volunteer as tribute!”

  Kassidy bows and gestures for him to take the room. “May the odds be ever in your favor.”

  Ryan pushes the coffee table out of the way, turning the room into a dance floor. He takes his phone out, taps the screen, and drops it onto the couch. A song starts playing, and I recognize it immediately as “Pillowtalk” by Zayn Malik. Ryan mouths the words, slowly gyrating and sliding his hands down his body. He’s clearly aiming to make this a very sexualized performance, and soon we’re all howling with laughter. I’ll always be jealous of how easy comedy comes
to Ryan. He’ll do almost anything to make people laugh, even if it means making a total fool of himself. Half of his tweets are made up of dad jokes or bad puns. I’ve lost count of the times he’s mooned the audience at our concerts, or done cartwheels mid-song to get a cheer from the crowd. It’s like he has zero shame.

  I take my phone out and start filming for Snapchat. Our fans are going to flip out over this. The song ends, and as a big finale, Ryan tugs his T-shirt off, swings it over his head, and flicks it at me. It lands on my head, and I take it and pretend to cuddle it like I’m holding a kitten. We applaud him, and Will wolf whistles when Ryan flexes his muscles.

  “My turn!” Charlie says, springing off the couch. She sets her phone up, and the song from Dirty Dancing starts playing. “Oh my God!” she squeals. She dances over to Alyssa and holds her hands out. “Sing with me?”

  I swoon as Alyssa stands up and they start serenading each other. They look at each other with so much love, like there’s no one else in the room. Alyssa twirls Charlie, then holds her close while they dance, not missing a word with their lip-synching.

  I want that kind of love. I want it so much it hurts, like a gaping hole in my chest.

  “Are they gonna do the move?” Chloe whispers to me.

  Before I can answer, the moment arrives and Charlie leaps into Alyssa’s arms. She squeals as Alyssa holds her waist and lifts her over her head, just like Swayze. We all scream in surprise, gawking at them in awe.

  “Game over,” I say. “They’ve won for sure!”

  Kass throws an arm around me, tsking. “Emmy, don’t give up so easily! Besides, you haven’t seen my moves yet.”

  Charlie and Alyssa bow, then they sink into each other’s arms on the couch while Kassidy gets ready to shine.

  “Come on,” she mumbles to her phone. “Give me something good.”

  The music gods answer her prayer. Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” begins and she jumps into the air. “Yes!” she shouts, looking up at the ceiling. “Thank you, Queen Bey!”

  Halfway through the song, she points at Chloe, who stands up and jumps right into the dance with her, not missing a beat. I have the coolest friends in the world. By the end of the song, we’re all videoing the amazingness.

  “I feel bad for whoever has to follow that!” Chloe says, flicking their hair back over their shoulder.

  Alfie stands up. “Challenge accepted!”

  He already has his phone ready, and he dips his head forward and messes up his hair while the song starts up. It’s “Need You Tonight” by INXS, and I am not at all surprised that is one of his most-played songs. He is a freak for classic rock: from AC/DC to Guns N’ Roses and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, he knows it all. He snaps to the beat with one hand while flipping his wavy hair back seductively to get the full Michael Hutchence effect. It’s working.

  I take in a deep breath to prepare myself. What happens in the next three minutes could break me.

  Gotta stay strong. Need to stay strong. Must stay strong.

  Alfie slides across the carpet like he’s center stage and has thousands of screaming fans in front of him. I focus on filming it, hoping that putting a screen between us will take my body temperature down a few degrees. It doesn’t.

  And then he does the moonwalk and grabs his crotch, making us all holler.

  “Jesus, Alfie,” Charlie says, her eyes practically popping out of her head. Alyssa jokingly covers her girlfriend’s eyes.

  The song winds down, and Alfie finishes up on his knees, his shirt hanging off of his shoulders, showing all of his tattoos and the straps of his red bralette.

  I. Am. Dead.

  Why the hell did I have to discover this attraction to him when we were stuck on a boat together for a week?

  I keep my gaze down, working on the theory that if I don’t look at anyone, they won’t see my red cheeks and hungry eyes. I feel like all the dirty thoughts in my mind are livestreaming on my forehead for everyone to see.

  Chloe laughs and rolls their eyes. “Okay, chill. We get it, you’re hot as fuck. It’s Alyssa’s turn to rock the mic!”

  Alfie sits down next to me, and it doesn’t go unnoticed that he neglects to button his shirt back up. Alyssa gets up, hits play, and shakes her arms out. She’s an actor, so I’m excited to see her skills shine through. “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars starts, and Alyssa pulls out all her best dance moves. We all start singing, bopping up and down on the couch. She crouches in front of Charlie, busting out the lyrics word for word. Charlie keeps up with her, singing along, closing her eyes at some parts.

  “Look at them,” I whisper to Chloe. “They’re so in sync.”

  “Right?” Chloe says. “It makes me sick how cute they are together.” We stare at them in awe as they wind down the track, and then Will hops up to take his turn. He taps his phone and starts moving as soon as Harry Styles’s “Sign of the Times” begins.

  Alfie slides closer to me on the couch. “Sorry if I was staring during my song,” he whispers. I feel his warm breath on my neck. “I tried not to, but I was nervous and for some reason it helped. I hope it didn’t make things weird.”

  I shake my head. “Nothing’s weird. It’s cool.”

  He dips his chin down, looking at me from under his brown lashes. “You sure?”

  “Hundred percent,” I say with a reassuring smile.

  He smiles back, and our gaze lingers. Ryan elbows me in the side, breaking our staring contest.

  “Shh,” Ryan whispers to me. He gestures to Will, who’s lip-synching with his eyes closed. “You’re missing it.”

  “Sorry,” I say. I glance at Alfie, and he swipes his thumb and index finger over his lips in the zipping motion. I hold back my laughter.

  When the song finishes, everyone looks at me.

  That’s when I realize it’s my turn. I swallow hard. This is going to sound so ridiculous, but I get bad stage fright. I know, I know, I’m in a famous band that has toured the world, and I’m getting stage fright performing in front of my closest friends. It’s different onstage: sweating under the lights, high on adrenaline, getting lost in the music, rocking out for thousands of strangers. Plus, I’m never alone up there. I’m always with my friends.

  But here, in this intimate setting … I’m hesitant. I know these people, and I fear their judgment more than anyone’s. I want them to keep liking me. I stand in front of them, my elbows glued to my sides as I open my Most-Played Songs list in iTunes and hit shuffle. Pink’s “So What” comes on, and my cheeks warm. I’ve listened to this song dozens of times already since Jessie and I broke up and I left home.

  “Nice,” Kass says, nodding. “This couldn’t be more on point for you right now.”

  I push my hair back, close my eyes, and just go with the music. I’m slow at first, but by the chorus I’m giving it my all—head banging, poor attempts at scissor kicking, even rocking the air guitar. I’m so caught up in it that it takes me a second or two to notice when the song is over. I open my eyes, my head spinning and my face burning from going so hard. My friends cheer. Chloe pumps their fist in the air, shouting, “Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!”

  I bask in the applause while I catch my breath, then fall back onto the couch.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “Okay,” Kass says. “Should we vote on the winner?”

  Ryan leans back against the cushions, grinning. “I think we all know I won.”

  I roll my eyes at him, and he winks at me.

  “I dunno,” Alfie says. “I think we were all too damn good. Maybe we should declare an eight-way tie.”

  We all agree. We are much too awesome to choose a victor.

  “Does that mean we all have to share the ice cream?” Charlie asks.

  “Or,” Ry says, turning his head slowly, “we all go skinny-dipping.”

  Chloe is running toward the door before I know what’s happening, tearing their clothes off and throwing them on the floor in a trail.

  “Holy shit!” Ryan says as he stares afte
r them. “I was only joking!” He looks at all of us. “Wait, what am I saying? I’m in!” And then he’s gone.

  Alyssa and Charlie grin at each other, having one of their silent conversations. Charlie nods like she’s answering a question, then they are up and running outside, too.

  “Wait up!” Will says, almost tripping over the coffee table as he runs and pulls his tank top over his head at the same time.

  Now it’s just me, Kass, and Alfie sitting on the couch, our jaws hanging open. Kassidy turns to me, giggling and giving me a look that says You wanna? I dig my fingers into the couch, trying to figure out if I want to do it because it sounds like fun, or because everyone else is doing it. Alfie is unnaturally quiet next to me, and I wonder if he’s waiting for me to decide before he answers.

  “Maybe I’ll just watch,” I say, then I realize how that sounds. “Um, in a non-creepy way, I mean.”

  Kass scrunches her nose up, like she’s unsure of what she should do. “Okay, me too.”

  The three of us walk tentatively out onto the deck, peering over the railing. It’s light enough to see our friends in the water, but too dark to see anything else.

  Kass smacks the railing. “Fuck it. I’m doing it.”

  She hurries down the stairs, and I mentally scream for her to come back. I think about asking her to stay, but she’d only ask why, and then what would I say? Well, I’ve been having seriously hot make-out sessions with Alfie, and I’m worried I’ll do it again if we’re left alone together.

  Nope. I think about joining my friends in the water, but then I’ll be naked and the answer to resisting temptation is definitely not to remove your clothes right in front of the person tempting you.

  “You can go, if you want,” Alfie says, breaking our silence. “I was gonna call it a night anyway. So … if you weren’t going down there because of me, you don’t have to.”

  I tap my foot against the deck. “I wasn’t not gonna go because of you.” He raises an eyebrow, and I cave. “Okay, maybe it was slightly because of you. But only because of what we talked about today. I’m pretty sure getting naked in front of each other counts as making it weird.”