The New Beginnings (Books #1-3)

by Michelle MacQueen

  “Must be the girl,” Patrick chirped.

  “Shut it, you two,” Elijah scowled.

  “Hey, man,” Tito piped up. “We’re here helping with your house, least we can do is give you endless shit.”

  Elijah didn’t respond. They’d been ragging on him all day, but they were there on their day off, so he let it go. Plus, they weren’t wrong. He was in a good mood. He and Maggie argued this morning, but he didn’t mind. He actually liked that side of her. She always thought she was right and stood her ground, even when she was wrong. But he still couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. His Maggie. She was his. About damn time. Jake had never been good enough. Now, he could show her what she deserved. And today was one more step in doing just that.

  Elijah knew Maggie better than she knew herself. He could see what she was going to do even before she did. He knew what she needed.

  Out of that knowledge, this surprise was born.

  The house still had a long way to go. It was going to be awhile before it was fully functional. With only one bedroom anywhere near done, it wasn’t quite livable. That was what they were working on today. A group of guys that Elijah worked remodels with were there to help, and it went a lot faster when everyone knew what they were doing.

  The room had already been painted and carpeted. Maggie actually helped paint, but she didn’t know what room she was painting. The furniture was being delivered. They were working on putting in custom shelves and a custom closet as well as hanging pictures and lights. It was turning out pretty great. Elijah hoped it would help Maggie realize what she needed to do. He also wanted it to show her that he was there for her no matter what she decided. He wasn’t going anywhere. It was a big step.

  They hadn’t actually been together for long, but it felt like their entire lives had been leading to this. It felt right. He knew that from the moment he kissed her. She’d always been it for him.

  “If she doesn’t love you for this, Elijah, I will.” Patrick laughed.

  “Your wife might have something to say about that,” Elijah clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder and moved past him, up the stairs.

  “Yeah,” John shrugged, “Even Maggie will love it.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Elijah turn and glared.

  “It’s just that we’ve watched you moon over her for years, never having the balls to tell her how you feel,” he explained. “She’s a tough one.”

  “Don’t I know it.” Elijah walked into the room where the bed had been left and they immediately started putting it together. It was the last piece. He lifted his eyes and did a sweep of the room. It was perfect. Maggie would love it. Or... she’d hate it. He didn’t know. But what he did know was that it was what she needed. Now he only had to keep her away from the house until it was time to show her. He didn’t know how long that would be.

  She only had a bit of time left before school started up again, so it shouldn’t be that hard. She’d be busy over the next couple weeks.

  If Jason came over, he’d just keep the room locked. Not like he would come. Elijah still hadn’t heard from him, but he trusted Maggie to figure out what was going on with her cousin. He decided not to worry about it.

  “Can’t let my wife come here,” Patrick said, straightening up out of his crouch and stretching. “She’ll want me to do this in our house.”

  “Thank you guys for helping out,” Elijah looked at each of them. “I know you had better things you could have spent your day off doing.”

  “Glad to help, man,” John punched him lightly in the shoulder. “What you’re doing is a good thing, for more than just Maggie.”

  Elijah nodded. “I just hope it’s the right thing.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  There they were - her father’s last words. Maggie had thrown the envelope on the table as soon as she got home and was now pacing back and forth in front of it.

  She was glad Elijah wasn’t home, but she also wished he was there with her. It was contradictory, she knew. But Elijah was the only person besides her ex-husband who would understand how she was feeling as she burned a path into the floor. She couldn’t stop moving. When she finally stilled, she’d have to make a decision.

  When she first told Jake she didn’t want the letter, she meant it. But Jake had known her for a long time. He probably knew exactly how she was reacting to it right at that moment.

  “Damn him!” Maggie shrieked. “Damn both of them!” The two men who’d hurt her purposefully. Her father and her husband. Her husband and her father. It was the booze, they’d say. They got sober, they’d claim.

  “Yeah, but not until they’d already done the damage.” Maggie threw herself onto the couch, glaring back towards the table.

  How was she supposed to feel? She hated the man. But she also loved the man, which made her hate him more. He’d been sober for two years before he died and hadn’t contacted her. Why should she care now?

  But she did. Because she was Maggie. She cared. She always cared.

  Part of her wanted to shove the envelope down the disposal and listen as it was shredded to pieces. But a bigger part of her wanted to see a small glimpse into her father when he wasn’t drunk, the real man.

  She leaned her head back on the arm of the couch and stared at the ceiling, breathing deeply. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She had to read it. If she didn’t, she knew she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

  Huffing out a sigh, Maggie sat up and slowly swung her legs around to plant her feet on the floor. Her movements were stiff, cautious, as she walked towards the table. The envelope sat there, bent and slightly dirty.

  Now that she really looked at it, she saw that her name was slightly smudged, as if someone’s hand had brushed the ink before it was fully dry. A laughed bubbled out of her chest. It was so very much like her father. She knew the problem well. Their left-handed problems were one of the few things they had ever had in common.

  The small smile that had appeared at the memory turned down as she lifted the flap of the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper. The envelope fell from her grasp and she let it float to the ground.

  “I’m not doing this for you, Dad.” Maggie looked up, as if to make sure he heard her. “This is for me.”

  Pulling out a chair, she sat at the table. Her father’s all too familiar, slightly smudged scrawl opened his mind to her. She stared at the words, not quite reading them yet, as a tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away and held the paper in both her hands. It rattled as it shook, and she forced herself to calm down and read the first words.

  Magdalena,

  I’m dying. I know that now. As I lay in this hospital bed, I can feel it creeping up on me. The end.

  The words blurred as tears swam before her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but more took the place of the ones she’d let fall. One word. That’s what it took to start the waterworks. Her father was the only person to call her Magdalena since her mother died when she was young. The name stirred a feeling in Maggie’s stomach that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Fear. When he would yell her full name, she knew what was coming.

  “You can’t be scared of him anymore,” she said, trying to staunch the flow of tears. “He’s dead.”

  She dried her eyes on her sleeve and looked at the letter again.

  I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Most of them have to do with you. I’d blame the booze, that’s the easy thing to do, but in recovery we learn that that’s a copout - my own words. It wasn’t the alcohol that caused you so much pain. I didn’t know how much it was until Jake told me. Me and him, we made a pact. I wouldn’t have been able to get sober without him. He’s a good man. I know he caused you pain as well, and for that he is sorry. Please forgive him after I’m gone. He’s not the same man you were married to.

  Maggie stopped long enough to roll her eyes.

  I won’t ask for your forgiveness because, honestly, I’m not sure you’d give it to me. I’ve be
en sick for a long time now, but I didn’t have the courage to say any of this to you until recently. I know I should’ve called a long time ago, but I was scared. I was scared that if I told you I was dying, you wouldn’t come. And that’s not something I could handle. This isn’t fair to you, but I guess I’ve never done what’s fair to you.

  I know now that I stole your childhood. You had to grow up long before you should have.

  Mary Lugo came by to see me the other day. Jake brought her. I thanked her for taking care of you when I didn’t. You tell that Elijah that I died happy that you had a friend like him and a family like his.

  There were a lot of times when I should have been able to see how bad things had gotten, but my mind was clouded. When you blackmailed me into refusing to care for your cousin, that should have been rock bottom.

  Maggie’s hand flew to her mouth, and she dropped the letter. Her breathing came out in gasps, and she couldn’t move.

  That was how Elijah found her minutes later. He opened the door and entered the apartment with a smile on his face. It dropped as soon as his eyes found her. He didn’t bother to shut the door as he rushed to her. She still didn’t move. He looked from the letter on the table, to her, and then back to the letter before bending down and pulling her to him. She didn’t resist as her shoulders shook.

  “Hey,” he cooed into her hair. “It’s going to be okay.”

  She pulled back and finally looked at him. He was filthy from working on the house all day, but she didn’t care. She needed him.

  “Jason read the letter, I’m sure of it,” she said, her throat constricting as she spoke.

  Elijah flinched at her words and she felt it. His face was a mask of cool calmness, but she knew him well enough to know he was covering something up.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “It’s nothing.” He wiped the dampness under one of her eyes with the pad of his thumb.

  “You’re lying. I’ve always known when you were lying.” She shrugged out of his embrace and stood.

  He straightened up and turned away from her.

  “Elijah?”

  Walking over to shut the still-open door, he stayed facing away from her. “I asked him to do it.” He rested his forehead on the door.

  “What?” Her voice was quiet.

  “I was trying to protect you.” He finally turned to face her once again and shrank away from the look in her eyes. “Jake gave the letter to Jason, so Jason came to me. I had to know if there was something in the letter that would hurt you.”

  “How could you?”

  “I know your father, Mags.” He stepped forward and reached for her, but she moved away from him.

  “Don’t touch me.” She clenched her fists at her sides, trying not to explode. “You knew Jason had the letter. How long?”

  “Right after you wouldn’t take it from Jake.”

  “All this time.”

  “I wanted you to be ready to read it.”

  “And you decide when that is? God, Elijah, do you even hear yourself?” She didn’t take her eyes from his as his expression went from guilty to defensive to resigned.

  “I saw you when I came in. That didn’t look like someone who was ready for whatever she read.”

  “It’s not something I’ll ever be ready for.”

  “I couldn’t let that man hurt you anymore.”

  “You don’t even know what’s in the stupid thing!” She was yelling now, and his shoulders dropped in defeat. “I’ve only read part of it, and you know what? Your seriously messed-up plan to protect me may have cost me a person I care about. The letter didn’t hurt me. No, I know my father is dead. I know he was never really a father. That knowledge protects me. But what protected Jason when he found out the only family he has is the reason he went through so much in foster care? Huh? Do you have a bullshit answer for that one?”

  She snatched the letter from the table and shoved it at his chest. “Here, read what you were ‘protecting’ me from.”

  She stalked into her bedroom and slammed the door. When she was finally alone, all the anger seeped from her body and she collapsed onto her bed. Without the fire running through her veins, she was left with only a profound sense of betrayal. Elijah had gone too far this time. She’d spent years running from people who tried to control her, and all of those feelings came back in force.

  She hadn’t even finished her father’s letter. At the moment, she didn’t care. All she could picture was Jason the day she said goodbye to him. Just a little boy. She didn’t want her father to get his hooks into him.

  How could he not hate her? She hated herself for it. It all made sense now. His silence over the past week. Michaela’s words when she picked up Kimberly. Every piece of the puzzle was falling into place.

  Jason didn’t know what her life had been like. That was something she’d always hidden from him. They didn’t talk much about their childhoods. He didn’t know the extent of what she thought she was protecting him from.

  She knew how he was feeling in that moment. They were the only family they both had, and they were being torn from each other.

  A soft knock sounded on her door, and then it opened. She didn’t look at Elijah as he took a seat of her bed. He put a hand on her leg. She pulled her leg up to her chest and away from him. His eyes grew sadder.

  The control. The loss of trust. It was too much. Her emotions were on high alert. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. She couldn’t stand to be near him or to have him touch her. He was supposed to be her best friend, the one she’d counted on for so much over the years.

  “I’m sorry.” His voice was soft and quiet, full of regret.

  She sniffled and raised her head. “I know you are.” She paused and let out a long sigh. “I have to go.”

  She stood suddenly and snatched the letter from his grasp before running from the room.

  “Maggie,” Elijah called behind her.

  She looked back at him to see the tears pooling in his beautiful chocolate eyes. It broke her heart to see him cry.

  “Let me help you,” he pleaded. “I want to be there for you.”

  “Not this time, Elijah.”

  He reached out, and she let him take her hands in his.

  She looked down at their entwined hands and watched as a tear hit them and slid down the back of his rough hand. Trust is easily broken, and nearly impossible to fix. She’d forgive Elijah. She knew that. But there was something bigger she had to do, and he couldn’t be a part of it this time. She’d also broken someone’s trust, and hurt someone she loved. It was time to face the decision she made all those years ago. She just hoped Jason could forgive her.

  Maggie released her grip and slid her hand out of Elijah’s.

  “This is something I have to do alone,” she said, turning away from him.

  “I love you,” Elijah said as she walked out.

  “I know,” Maggie whispered, shutting the door behind her. She rested her back against the door for a few moments longer and sucked in a deep breath.

  It was time to keep her family from falling apart.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Michaela was leaving Jason’s place when Maggie got there. They practically ran into each other as Maggie rounded the corner next to the bar.

  “Oh, Maggie. Hey!” Michaela was chipper, but it was obviously forced. She was trying to act like there weren’t big things in their lives that were crumbling to dust.

  She must have read the letter. She knew what Maggie had done.

  “Are you okay?” Michaela asked after Maggie didn’t say anything.

  Maggie shook her head to keep from crying again. This wasn’t about her. It was about Jason. “Where are you off to?” She tried to force a smile, but it just turned into a grimace.

  “Josh is leaving today. Apparently, the team starts skating together like a month before training camp.”

  “Oh, well, tell him I said goodbye. It was good to have him here this summer.”
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  “Yeah,” Michaela’s laugh came out as a bark. “I’m sure Elijah was glad for the free labor.” Her eyes said she was joking, but Maggie blanched at the sound of Elijah’s name.

  She didn’t want to think about him. Her heart was breaking into pieces, and it physically hurt.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Michaela asked again.

  “I need to see Jason.”

  Michaela’s fake smile fell, but she nodded in understanding. “You read it?”

  “I did.”

  “It’s going to be okay, Mags.” She put a hand on Maggie’s shoulder. “I just wish I could get dumb-butt up there to see that.” Her attempt at lightening the mood failed.

  “I don’t know what to say to him,” Maggie confessed. “I tried to come up with something on the way over here, but there’s nothing that can make it any better.”

  “The truth would be a start.” Michaela stared at her for a moment before continuing. “I know neither of you talk about your families much, but I also know there has to be a reason you did what you did all those years ago. It’s Jason. He loves you. Just tell him why.”

  “The truth,” Maggie repeated.

  “The truth.” Michaela gave her a hug and then pulled out her keys, reaching them towards Maggie. “Here, he won’t open the door for you. Use my keys.”

  Maggie took them slowly and nodded before turning towards Jason’s door.

  The Truth. About her father and everything that happened to her growing up. She’d never had to tell anyone what she went through. She didn’t know if she could find the words. There was an unspoken agreement between Maggie and Jason that they’d leave the past in the past. It was an agreement she was about to break.

  She rapped her knuckles against the solid door three times. No answer. Putting her ear to the door, she heard someone moving around inside. An ice machine groaned, and then she heard ice clink into a glass.