He looked ready. His mind was just catching up.
His coaches took their places at the long table, with an empty seat between them. Mack waited in the background. Josh’s legs were stiff as he strode across the room with a confidence he didn’t feel. He’d never been good in front of the cameras. Microphones always made him nervous.
Playing in Mack’s shadow, he’d been able to avoid much of the spotlight. This wasn’t the end of it. He still had one last radio interview to do. Then it really was over.
The chair scraped loudly against the concrete as he slid it back before sitting down and scooting forward. He put his elbows on the table and leaned forward towards the microphone. The faces before him were expectant. It was the end of January. There were still a few weeks until the trade deadline before the playoffs, and the All-Star game was over. They were starved for real stories. Stories that would get the readers. A twenty-one-year-old professional athlete ending his career fit that bill.
“Hello,” Josh stammered. He looked sideways at Coach Scott, who gave him an encouraging smile as he nodded toward the microphone.
Josh cleared his throat. “I’m Josh Walker.” He stopped realizing the stupidity in that statement, wishing there was a script for this. “But I guess you already know that, since you’re here.”
There were a few chuckles. Josh wasn’t trying to be funny. He scratched the back of his neck. “I… uh… You’re probably all wondering why you’re here. What the big news is.” He stalled as he tried to force his mouth to form the words.
“I’m announcing my retirement from hockey.” Surprised mutterings grew louder by the moment.
Josh heard the phrases “such promise” and “bright future” bandied about.
“When I’m done, you’ll be able to ask the coaches all your questions. I have a heart condition. It isn’t something that can be fixed and hockey…” he paused, forcing the thickness out of his voice. “Hockey can no longer be a part of my life. I’d like to thank the Columbus Blue Jackets organization for giving me the opportunities that every player dreams of when they’re young. My coaches for encouraging me, and teaching me the right way to be a professional. Thanks to my teammates for this wild ride. And most of all, I’d like to thank everyone in Columbus who has cheered me and the team on. This news may come as a shock to you – I’m still trying to come to terms with what it means for me. Hockey has been my life. This team has been my family. This game is special, and it will always have a part of me. I…”
Josh scanned the crowd in front of him one more time before standing abruptly. “Just… thank you.”
He hurried from the room, leaving behind a chorus of questions now directed at the two coaches.
Mack followed him through the halls until they were outside, the biting chill of the wind whipping them in the face.
They walked home, leaving the arena behind.
The next week moved at a snail’s pace. Josh finished his interviews and was effectively done. His phone had been blowing up ever since the news broke. Friends from around the league offered their words of encouragement. Even a few players he didn’t know personally contacted him.
They all got it. They knew this could easily have happened to them. It was real, and it was frightening.
Josh didn’t know what to do with himself most days. He knew he needed to make a plan. Sitting in his apartment watching Netflix for the rest of his life was not an option. His body felt sluggish. It was used to daily workouts. He could do light workouts, but didn’t see the point if he couldn’t go all-out.
People used to tell him he was lucky. He knew what he’d wanted to do for a living from the time he was eight years old. Old enough to realize what he loved. There’d been no other goal. Now he felt like he had to pull one out of thin air.
Taylor had an exam the next day so she was spending the afternoon in the library, and Mack was working with a new skating coach. At least he’s trying harder, Josh thought when Mack told him about the extra practice.
There were three solid raps on his door. Looking down at his drawstring shorts and bare torso, he hoped it wasn’t Taylor, finished studying early. He had yet to shave, the blond stubble coating his jaw.
He grabbed a shirt from his room and pulled it on as the knock sounded again.
Josh was surprised to find Coach Scott at his door.
“Walker,” the coach nodded. He looked him up and down before scanning the rest of the apartment, his eyes catching on the paused TV show and dirty dishes in the living room.
He gave Josh a sympathetic smile. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Josh said, moving quickly to pick up a few things. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, I won’t be here long.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, gesturing to a chair at the dining room table.
The two men sat across from each other, neither looking the other in the eye.
Josh hadn’t seen any of his coaches since the press conference. Teammates either. His choice, not theirs.
“Soooo,” Josh said expectantly.
“Something you said at the press conference has stuck with me,” Coach began.
“I didn’t say much.”
“No, but you said that hockey couldn’t be a part of your life anymore.”
“And?” Josh couldn’t sit still, so he got up and walked to the sink for a glass of water. As he tipped it against his lips, he looked back at the table for an explanation.
“Walker,” Coach paused. “Josh.”
Josh couldn’t remember if his coach had ever called him by his first name before.
“It’s taken me all week to get this set up, but there’s a way that you don’t have to leave the game.”
Josh sucked in a breath and waited.
“The coach of the Ohio State hockey team is a friend of mine, and he’s worried his team is missing something that would help them get to the playoffs and do some damage. A part of their mentality. There are a few players in particular. Guys who have been drafted by NHL clubs and have all the talent in the world, but don’t quite know what it takes to be great. I told him about you.”
“What are you getting at, Coach?” Josh paced in front of him.
“If you want to stay in the game, this is your chance.”
“Coaching?”
“I know it hasn’t been long, but this is an opportunity that won’t wait for you.”
Josh sighed. “I want to be on the ice, not behind the bench.”
“We all have to hang it up some time, but that doesn’t mean we walk away.”
“I’m not walking away.”
“Aren’t you? You love the game. Maybe this is its way to love you back.”
“But coaching?” Josh looked at him skeptically and plopped down in the chair again. “What do I know about that?”
“Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?” he asked.
“That I had bad positioning and worse hands.” Josh offered him a weak smile.
“That you were smart, and I can’t teach that. You’ve been a coach all year and you don’t even realize it. I’ve seen Carter improve by leaps and bounds while working with you. You won’t be coaching the whole team, only a few of the guys at first. If it goes well, they’ll have an assistant position open in the fall, and they’d love to have a student coach.”
“Student?”
“Sounds like a logical step for you, doesn’t it?”
Josh nodded and stood up when his coach did, taking the offered hand to shake.
“Promise me you’ll think about it,” Coach said, stopping at the door.
“Yeah,” Josh responded. “I will.”
Josh shut the door behind him and leaned against it. His lips twitched. Once. Twice. Then they settled into a full on smile.
Who was he kidding? Think about it? The game was sending him a life raft, a way to stay connected to it. A way to stay whole.
Josh sent a text to Coach minutes after h
e left.
I’m in. Thank you.
Chapter Twenty-Four
One month later.
“Hi, babe,” Taylor said, wrapping an arm around Josh’s waist. He leaned down to kiss her, smiling against her lips. “Mind if I watch practice?”
“Just don’t distract my boys.” He laughed, pulling on her ponytail. She’d been so excited when her hair had grown long enough to tie it back.
“Me? A distraction?” She winked at him. “Never. I’m only here for the hockey. Oh, and the hot coach.”
She’d watched a few practices over the past couple weeks, and the guys liked her. She was a girl who knew her hockey. There weren’t enough of them around, and this one was his.
The head coach had Josh working with three of his forwards. They were all good, very good, but needed to learn the kind of work ethic and attitude that would get them to the NHL. They were problem players, typical college students. Only, as NHL prospects, being a typical college student wasn’t an option.
He enjoyed teaching them, feeling like he was helping. Some days were harder than others. There was still a huge gulf between him and the game, but every day he spent on the ice with these kids was chipping away at the distance. Everything seemed easier when he had skates on his feet.
When they got to the practice facility, Josh went to the locker room to put his gear on, and Taylor went out to sit in her favorite spot where she said she could see everything they were doing on the ice. She liked to sit there with her sketchbook and let the sounds of the rink envelop her.
She taught him a lot of things, but the biggest was that there was more than one way to love the game. She’d never played a day in her life, but that didn’t diminish her passion. She’d lost a lot to the game as well, but somehow found her way back.
The locker room was empty, and he hoped that meant the guys were already out on the ice and not just late again. His worries were unfounded when he walked down the tunnel and found the three guys standing out on the ice, with a fourth who was in street shoes.
His back was to the glass, but Josh immediately knew who it was. The tall, lanky frame gave it all away.
“You guys want to hear the advice that kept me up with the Jackets this year?” Carter Neil asked.
The three nodded, and Carter went on. “Be the hardest worker out there. The most willing to drop down to block a shot. The first to jump into the fight. Keep your feet moving and your head up. Don't take stupid penalties. Don’t worry too much about scoring. The chances will find you if the rest of your game is solid.”
Josh grinned at Carter’s words and started laughing. Carter turned sheepishly.
“Who told you that?” one of the guys asked.
“Your coach,” he answered, his eyes meeting Josh’s. “Words to live by.”
“Carter,” Josh said, stepping out onto the ice.
Carter brushed his unruly curls out of his eyes. “I figured this was the only way to see you.”
“I know, Man,” Josh said. “I’m sorry. I just needed to be away from the team for a while.”
“I get that. Coach Peterson called me into his office today and said they’re keeping me up through the playoffs. I just…” he paused. “You’re the first person I wanted to tell.”
A bite of jealousy rushed through Josh, but as quickly as it came, it was gone.
“That’s great.” Josh clapped his friend on the shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”
“Well,” Carter said, looking around. “I’ll let you guys get started. Mind if I stick around?”
“Sure,” Josh shrugged. “Taylor’s over in the corner if you want to sit with her.”
Carter’s face blanched. “Coach’s daughter?”
“She doesn’t bite.” Josh laughed. “Just go.”
He watched Carter make his way over to Taylor. She stopped drawing and smiled up at him before meeting Josh’s gaze.
“Alright.” Josh clapped his hands together, tearing his eyes from Taylor’s and turning back to the young men on the ice. “Let’s get to work.”
<<<
Thank you for reading the New Beginnings series!
There’s one more! If you want to see Mack get his happy ending, you can download Confessions on Amazon!
About the Author
Michelle has a brain that won’t seem to quiet down, forcing her into many different genres to suit her various sides. Under the name M. Lynn, she writes fantasies to go along with her romances and dystopians. Running on Diet Coke and toddler hugs, she sleeps little - not due to overworking or important tasks - but only because she refuses to come back from the worlds in the books she reads. Reading, writing, aunting … repeat.
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