Blue Blood (PULSE Vampire Series #4)

by Kailin Gow

  “Don’t go to him, Kalina!” Jaegar’s voice grew more and more urgent. “I’ve never wanted anything more than this – to keep you safe. To keep you with me. I’ll fight him if I have to. But I won’t let him hurt you.”

  “No, not yet,” said Kalina. “Don’t fight him. He hasn’t come for me yet – he’s biding his time for some reason, waiting.” She squeezed his hand. “We need to worry about a defense, about keeping the people I love safe in case Stuart – or Mal – shows up. Justin or Maeve – what about them? Mal could use them to get to me.”

  “Octavius is taking care of Mal,” said Jaegar. “They’re the two strongest vampires – they have the oldest feud. Octavius will do what he can. And considering all that Mal’s done – destroying the Consortium, all Octavius’ friends, friends he’s known for centuries, not to mention hurting you, I hope it’s Octavius that manages to get rid of that blackguard.”

  “Where are they now?”

  3" face="Times New Roman">“In Europe. Mal’s recovering from the duel; he’s on the run, trying to regain strength. Octavius has engaged some of his best men to follow the scent. They’ll find his weakness; get to him before he gets to you. He told me…” Jaegar gritted his teeth. “He told me to send you his best.”

  Kalina felt a familiar pang. She knew it was best not to think of Octavius, of the time they had shared, of the impossible love she knew she had to give up, but even with Jaegar holding her in his arms it was hard not to think of the beauty and grandeur of Europe, of those weeks they had shared in Italy and France.

  “What was it like,” asked Kalina. “Spending time with Octavius as a human – you know, before you became a vampire?”

  Jaegar turned away, fixing his gaze on the curtains in the hotel suite. “The same, really,” he murmured. “Except, without the bloodlust. It was strange, being a human among vampires. I felt the way you must have felt. Like meat. I knew they were Octavius’ men, and I trusted them, but the way they looked at me….I knew what they wanted with me. It was strange. Scary, even.”

  “I guess you know how it feels, huh?” said Kalina. “Remember when we first met – you treated me like prey.” She laughed. “You were such a jerk back then,” she said.

  Jaegar gave a sheepish nod, his eyes still not meeting her. “I know,” he said. “I still thought all humans were just…prey. And then I met you. And that made all the difference in the world.”

  *******

  Jaegar remembered well how Octavius’ men had treated him, how they had eyed him, their bright, gem-gleaming eyes narrowing with desire. They had been his friends once, when he was a vampire, as Octavius’ second-in-command and his colleagues, comrades-at-arms; now, he knew they were his natural enemies, his predators. They wanted to bite into him, to savage their way into his bloodstream, to consume him. They wanted from him what he had been so used to wanting; he could see in their eyes the same desire that had ravaged him the first time he saw Kalina in the rain outside the Rutherford Library.

  He had never been afraid, not truly. In nearly one thousand years Jaegar had always believed fervently in his ability to, at the end, overcome any obstacle, defeat any foe. He had never – even when going up against Mal – doubted his ability to fight to the death for what he cared for.

  Until now.

  It had only taken a week in Octavius and his men’s company to realize how dangerous it was to be a human. The joy of being able to breathe, to taste food, to feel the sun without pain had all vanished; in its place Jaegar felt only fear, fear that he could not protect himself or his family, fear that – having lost Aaron and Stuart, he would lose Kalina, too.

  In the end, it had not been a difficult choice. Jaegar had wrestled with it, at first, raged against what he knew he had to do, violently punched the walls of Octavius’ dark cherry wood guest bedroom, paced through the corridors of the mansion. But in his mind there was no doubt that he had only one choice if he wanted to save the woman he loved.

  And so he prepared himself a last meal, the sumptuous roast chicken that he had so loved to tear into when he was a boy, and a knight, in Norman England. He watched the sun rise one final time, and enjoyed the sun as he knew he could never truly enjoy it again. And then he went into Octavius’ chamber, kneeled at his master’s feet, and once more pledged his services, once more asked Octavius to be his maker, his sire, his lord.

  Dying hurt even more the second time around. Jaegar felt his blood turn dry and his body shake and shudder until it was not part of himself at all, but rather a dead thing which he inhabited by sheer accident. The scent of death filled his nostrils, but he could feel his fangs sharp and slicing on his tongue.

  He was a vampire once more.

  But he could never reveal to Kalina the source of his transformation, his return into the fold. He could never let her live with the guilt that he had given up his humanity for her.

  She could never know.

  Chapter 4

  Jaegar turned to Kalina, massaging her shoulders with his strong, sure fingers. “Come on,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about something else. We’ve always been used to living this way, you and I. Me a vampire, you a human. Nothing will have changed.”

  “I thought…” revesighed. She wasn’t sure what she thought. That a human Jaegar, with his preternatural beauty intact, but his bloodlust gone, would be the only chance she had left for a normal life? But she couldn’t think about that now – it would only be too painful.

  “Come on,” said Jaegar again. “Kal, let’s get ourselves some dinner.”

  “Get me some dinner, you mean,” said Kalina bitterly, getting dressed and tidying herself up to go out. She put on a navy blue Yale sweater, jeans, and boots. “Where to, Mr. Been There, Done That. Any suggestions where to go?” she asked, leaning up to Jaegar and playing with his hair. They kissed long and slowly.

  “Hmm,” Jaegar said finally breaking off. “Just because I can’t eat doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy sitting at a nice restaurant now and then. Besides I enjoy watching you eat. You savor your food…watching you eat is almost sensual, Kalina.” Jaegar winked. “I get quite a pleasure imagining how good the food tastes just by watching you.” He traced a finger along her cheeks. “Kalina, I’ve known so many women throughout the years, but you are a rarity. You enjoy life, savoring every moment. You take every opportunity to learn, to explore, to open your eyes to what could be. It makes a vampire like me feel alive. Life’s Blood or not, that alone makes you so attractive so alluring to us vampires.”

  “Come on,” he said again. “We have to get you some food. There’s a place I remember from fifty years ago – a little restaurant that serves New England clam chowder and butternut squash. Solid Northeastern fare.”

  “We’re not in California anymore,” Kalina laughed as they made their way down the street strolling arm-in-arm in the direction of the restaurant.

  “Last time I was here,” said Jaegar, “It was 1958, and pretty little girls like you weren’t allowed on campus. It was all-boys, in those days, blue-blooded scions of wealthy families who’d gone to schools like Andover and St. Paul’s – jackets and blazers. I looked so young, you see – it was easy to blend in with them, to pretend I was a student…”

  His voice trailed off.

  “And then?” Kalina asked.

  “And then I did things I wasn’t proud of,” Jaegar said quietly, and the conversation turned to silence. “But now you’re blue-blooded too!” he said again, almost too brightly. He pointed at Kalina’s Yale sweater – the school’s navy blue colors. “Fifty years ago, not a woman in this place.” He laughed. “But now, a smart girl like you⚦you can wear jackets and blazers with the best of them.”

  Kalina snuggled up to Jaegar. His body was cold, she knew, but curling up against him gave her some psychological warmth. “While I’m here,” she said. “I guess I’ll need them. Although I don’t officially move out here until I graduate from school, I’ll miss Rutherford. And Justin.” Sh
e sighed.

  “Justin?” Jaegar furrowed his brows. “I thought Justin was coming out here too. Wasn’t that the plan? For him to get an internship?”

  “Yes.” Kalina looked down. “That’s the plan.”

  ‘But..?”

  “If he gets the permanent transfer, I guess he’ll do it,” said Kalina. “He’s afraid of leaving me here by myself, leaving me in danger. Afraid of being a bad brother, of not doing enough for me. But I think he’d be happier, so much happier, in Rutherford. Justin’s not like me; he doesn’t love to travel. Rutherford’s his home. He drove two hours to college in order to be able to stay living in Rutherford, taking care of me. And I think – he’s being awfully secretive about it – but I’m pretty sure he has a girl over there too. I didn’t know about that before. But I’m sick of people making sacrifices for me. I didn’t ask for it.”

  “Tell Justin he can go back to Rutherford,” said Jaegar quietly. “If he wants. I’ll take care of you. I’m a vampire again; I’m stronger than any human can ever hope to be – no offense to your brother. I’ll protect you.”

  “But what if…?”

  Kalina had a world of questions: what if they broke up – were they even dating? – what if her college life took her away from him, what if Stuart came back, what if Octavius…

  But Jaegar silenced her with a kiss. “I’m here now,” he said. “I want to stay with you. There’s nothing more in the world that I want. Whatever happens.”

  He took her into his arms, encircling her with his frame, his strength. He looked deeply into her eyes. “You don’t know how much I love you, do you?”

  “Jaegar,” Kalina said. “I have a feeling…” but her words were cut off with a lingering kiss from Jaegar.

  She felt herself melting into him, cleaving to his power, letting his beauty once again intoxicate her. In his arms, she could pretend. She could pretend that everything was simple, was normal. She could pretend that everything was going to be okay. Darkness covered them like a cloak, and the anonymity was thrilling. Nobody knew who they were here. They weren’t vampires, weren’t humans, weren’t carriers. They had no past, no responsibilities. They were only two lovers, kissing on a New England street, with nothing before them but their passion.

  And then they heard the voice, ringing in both their ears.

  So you’re back, brother.

  Kalina jumped back. It wasn’t until now that she had realized how like Jaegar’s voice Stuart’s was – how similar – how easy it was for a sound to change from loving to cruel…

  It looks like you’ve wasted no time getting to her, my brother. Just like always – you always get what you wanted. Even if you had to take it from your little brother first. And she was mine first, you know – before she ever was yours…taking Kalina from me was unforgivable. You knew how much I wanted her…

  Jaegar whirled around, scanning the darkness. “Where are you?!” Kalina could sense his fear. Once, Jaegar had been easily the stronger vampire, the one who would always vanquish his quiet, unassuming little brother in any argument. But now Stuart was drunk on Life’s Blood, and there was no such surety. Stuart was stronger, now; they could both feel it.

  “Show yourself!” Jaegar cried out. “Or keep on hiding yourself away like the coward you are!”

  “No, brother,” Stuart gave a smooth chuckle. “This time, I’m the one to set the rules. You’ll see me when I want you to see me.” Stuart’s voice grew softer, more caressing. “And Kalina, I must remind you – this is all your fault.”

  “What?” Kalina shot back.

  “You always wanted me to break out of my shell – always encouraged me to find myself, to know myself. Don’t hold back, you said! Well, I’m not holding back any longer my dear, not anymore. Jaegar knows, doesn’t he, what I was like before Vampire Wine flowed through my veins? Jaegar remembers the Dark Knight, doesn’t he?” Another laugh came echoing through the darkness. “Don’t you, brother?”

  “What’s he talking about?” Kalina tensed. “Wait!” But they both felt the rushing of wind, the rustling of leaves, and the silence. Stuart was gone.

  Jaegar stared straight ahead, his lips pursed with fear.

  “What’s he talking about?” Kalina pressed. “The Dark Knight – what’s that? What does that mean?” But she could see that Jaegar’s mind was elsewhere – his gaze wandering in another century, another land, another time.

  “Seven hundred years,” said Jaegar hoarsely. “That’s how long it’s been – and it’s so easy to forget. So easy to cast off those old days, to dismiss them as another existence. You’ll never live so long – you’ll never know…”

  “What?”

  “I’ve always spoken of Stuart as holding back. But that wasn’t true. He suffers – suffered, from guilt, Stuart did. Guilt because of who he was back then. He doesn’t speak of it, never did. Not to you, to me, to anybody. When he was in Octavius’ army, when he was first turned, Stuart was high on bloodlust, as high as I was, if not more so.” He sighed. “We did many terrible things in those days. To other vampires, as Octavius commanded us, but also – no, Kalina, mostly to humans. Expendable humans. Women, often. They always thought Stuart was so beautiful, with his boyish looks, that alluring angelic sense of goodness in his eyes that turned out to be a lie. He used his aristocratic bearing to seduce tavern wenches and peasants’ daughters, ravishing women before draining them dry…”

  Kalina blanched. She had always thought of Stuart as the good vampire, the one who had drunk Vampire Wine, who had quenched his thirst in the vineyards.

  “Not always,” said Jaegar, reading her thoughts. “We were vampires before Vampire Wine existed. We had to live somehow. We had to survive. We did what we did…” Jaegar drew in breath sharply. “I always thought Stuart was the good one. When Vampire Wine was invented, he redeemed himself – whereas I always remained proud of my vampire nature, in love with it, in bondage to it, until you…”

  “He was redeemed once,” said Kalina quickly. “We can redeem him again.”

  Jaegar shook his head. “It’s too dangerous,” he said. “The Dark Knight – the warrior Stuart was – was formidable; with Life’s Blood in his veins, he would be more evil still. I at least had spent my evil energy, my bloodlust; when I was turned, so much less had been repressed. In Stuart’s case, he has nearly five hundred years of pent-up desire to let out…and it’s too dangerous for you to go near him, go near that. He’s smarter than I am – he always was smarter. More devious.”

  “But he must be suffering!” Kalina cried. “When you were infected with Life’s Blood, you suffered, didn’t you? Raging against the effects of the poison? Trying to stop yourself from going bad, all the way bad! How do we know Stuart isn’t suffering too?”

  “I have no doubt he is,” said Jaegar gravely. “He is most likely in torment, letting the evil seep into his veins. He doesn’t want this…to hurt humans, to hurt you.”

  “How can you let this happen?!” Kalina shouted.

  “I’m his brother!” For the first time, Jaegar looked truly angry. “Do you think I don’t suffer as you do? Knowing there might be a way – knowing the risk is too great! We have always been rivals, Stuart and I always hated each other. But we are brothers. I loved him. I always said I loved Aaron more – we both did – for Aaron was innocent, not party to our blood-quarrels, our anger. But I had seven hundred years by my brother’s side, our anger borne out of our blood-bond, out of our love. I love my brother, Kalina. I loved my brother enough to stand aside when it was he that you loved first, although I wanted you just as much in the beginning. I may have denied it – but…he and I are one. And I feel his love for you, twinned with my own, and that combined love – the love of the Stuart I once knew and the vampire I am now – has convinced me that what Stuart, what my brother, would really want is for me to save you from the monster he has become.”

  “And what about the others?” Kalina said. “If Stuart really has become the Dark Knight again, wha
t about all the innocent people he’d kill? He’d go on a rampage!”

  “And what if it was Justin?” Jaegar shot back. “If you get close to him, the humans he’ll target will be the ones you love. He’ll try to play with you, to seduce you with mind games. He’ll go after Justin, after Maeve. He has the upper hand!”

  “He can’t!” Kalina cried. “We have something he doesn’t. We can both use our blood bond with Stuart against him, to sense his whereabouts, predict his movements. And you’ve been through Life’s Blood. You must know its weaknesses.”

  Jaegar shook his head. “I only know of one,” he said. “You.”

  As he spoke, Kalina felt the familiar prickling and burning in her blood, the sensation of Life’s B We can bopringing itself into existence, boiling in her veins, stinging throughout her body, coming alive, hatching within her.

  Life’s Blood was near.

  Jaegar looked up, confused. His eyes darted around. It was Life’s Blood – he knew the smell all too well – but it wasn’t coming from Kalina.

  “Quick, that way!” Jaegar took Kalina’s hand and together they followed the feeling, the pulsing sensation that had overtaken Kalina’s blood, that was throbbing within her, that was calling to Jaegar, too – as Kalina knew it must call to all vampires.

  They turned off the main street and into one of New Haven’s dark alleys – a dumpster-filled back of some dive bar swarming with fake IDs and cheap liquor.

  Halfway down the alleyway, the scent vanished; the pain coursing through Kalina stopped, suddenly, as if it had never existed at all.

  “What’s going on?” Jaegar looked around… but in her blood Kalina was sure what was happening. The girl from the hospital. The girl with Kalina’s face and needle-marks in her arms. She was near, and Kalina had to find her…

  And then darkness came over them, a figure made out of darkness, a shadow knocking them down, attacking them, a stake shimmering in hand…

  Stuart? No – the figure was too small, too lean.