by Kailin Gow
“Fair? How can you call this fair?”
“Can’t you see?” Octavius’ voice strained into a shout. “I’m doing this for your sake! Can’t you at least understand that?”
Kalina didn’t say anything.
“Come on,” Octavius said coldly, getting out of bed and hurriedly wrapping himself in his dressing gown. “Let’s get ready. I’ll have to teleport you back.”
He went into the bathroom, leaving Kalina lying in the bed, tangled among the sheets. She felt her skin burn – her Life’s Blood blushing through her cheeks. How had she been so stupid? She’d tried to save Jaegar from pain, and she’d ended up getting both Octavius and Jaegar angry with her. No matter what she tried, no matter which way she turned, there didn’t seem any way to save those she loved from pain.
Perhaps this was her destiny, Kalina thought, to lead to the pain and death of the ones she cared about. This was Life’s Blood. This was her curse.
Chapter 17
Kalina dressed hurriedly and in silence, her stomach turning in knots. She had offended Octavius, she knew, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to apologize completely, to tell hiat she wanted to stay with him and never would see Jaegar again. Jaegar had just lost his brother – she was responsible for it – and while she knew that she loved Octavius, she knew also that her bond with Jaegar was strong, she loved him too, and in his moments of pain his blood called to hers. She needed to be with him again. As a friend, perhaps – or as more, Kalina thought bitterly! After all, it wasn’t as if Octavius would ever give her what she wanted! He loved her – but whenever he got too close, he pulled away, leaving her more heartbroken, more in pain than before. How could she put up with that? At least Jaegar, she knew, had always wanted her, always needed her. He wouldn’t have hesitated for a second if she’d asked him to drink her blood, to become human!
Of course, it hadn’t worked. That was the niggling doubt in Kalina’s mind. It hadn’t worked. She hadn’t turned Jaegar human, not really. He’d turned back. Surely that meant something, didn’t it? She loved him – just not enough. Her blood was proof that he wasn’t her true love, her intended, the one for which her blood was destined. Had he turned human for good, she would tried her hardest to move on without Octavius. Wouldn’t she?
“Come on,” Octavius knocked lightly at the door to his dressing room. “I don’t want to keep your brother and…friend waiting a moment longer.” He was still cool towards her, wary – but not angry, she noted. Still, she longed for the passion and warmth he had displayed towards her the night before. “I hope teleportation will be easier for you this time around,” he said. “Now that you’ve had practice.”
“I’ll try,” said Kalina, nervous. She wasn’t keen to repeat the stomach-churning experience of the day before.
They walked together out onto the balcony of his villa and Kalina took one last, long look at the streets of Rome spread out at their feet. Would she ever be in the realm of such beauty again? It felt as she bid a silent goodbye to the ruins and the churches and the cobblestones that her heart had been rooted here, as if she had always belonged here; every moment that she spent away from this city of light and magic would be a moment she spent homesick, longing for some intangible thing that could only be found by moonlight on Via Veneto.
“Let’s go,” she whispered, and felt Octavius take her hand. A sudden pain ripped through her chest. Last night his touch had been so much stronger, so much more filled with love. Would it ever be like that again?
*******
The teleportation wasn’t as bad as Kalina had feared it might be. She still felt a bit queasy as they sped over the ocean, rushing through the dawn at vampire speed, but by the time they set foot on the soil of New Haven – just as the sun was coming up over the eastern horizon – Kalina had regained her balance
Octavius set her down on the streets of the New Haven Inn. “Let’s get inside quickly,” he said in a hushed whisper. “I’ve had more than enough sunlight for one day.” Indeed, the daytime teleportation seemed to have weakened him a bit. He would need to feed soon, Kalina thought, not without a pang of jealousy.
They entered the inn just in time to spy Justin sitting in the breakfast room, his plate heaped high with uneaten bacon.
“Kalina!” Justin leaped up as he caught her eye, rushing in to squeeze her tightly in his embrace. “I’m so glad we found you! We were so worried. I mean, I was worried. Jaegar said you were alive, that if you were in trouble or dead he’d feel it, but I didn’t believe him. His vampire senses – he said they weren’t working or something – because it took him days to telepathically connect with you – and I was freaking out…” He stumbled over his words, which spilled out of a broadly smiling mouth. “Ever since he turned back,” Justin sighed. “It’s like he was starting from scratch – some of his abilities haven’t been working properly.”
“It’s not common to find a re-turned vampire,” said Octavius with a wry, dark smile.
Kalina couldn’t help but grin at her mental image of Jaegar and Justin standing side by side. Two of the people she loved most in the world – somehow managing to bond in her absence. She felt reassured, somehow, knowing that Justin and Jaegar had an eye on each other. “I’m fine,” she said, patting Justin on the shoulder. “Octavius managed to get me out of there just in time.”
“Just in time for what?” Justin furrowed his eyebrows.
“Mal showed up,” said Kalina. “With another Life’s Blood vampire – Leonardo. They were going to drain me – me and Max – and then Octavius showed up…”
“We thought Stuart had you!” Justin added. “We wanted to track you down, to get to him…But when we were in the hotel room, this girl turned up – the girl from the hospital. She knocked us unconscious – it was insane! And when we woke up, the files were gone. You know, the medical files I took from the hospital!”
Kalina looked down. How was she going to explain to Justin that her mother, her birth mother, was out there? She’d never thought of Justin as anything less than her brother, biological or not, but she wasn’t sure the idea of another mother running around wouldn’t make him incredibly uncomfortable.
“I only read the first few pages of the file,” said Justin, “But what I read was incredible. When Jaegar said that he’d seen that girl before, we thought maybe she had you, not Stuart. So we decided to split up. I went to the hospital to do some research on the girl, and he tried to track down his brother. And Jaegar just…went. He had like this telepathic moment – I couldn’t figure out what was happening! He told me you were fine, but he was freaking out and just left without a word. But he told me you were alive. So I got to get some sleep, at any rate.” His eyes fell on Octavius. “So, uh, I see you have another friend.”
“Octavius,” Kalina said hurriedly, as Justin stuck out a hand. “I think you’ve met at the beach, back when Jaegar, erm, turned human.” She looked around, making sure the hotel concierge wasn’t listening.
“Excuse me,” said Octavius. “I should give you two some room to reunite.” Justin’s eyes followed Octavius as they retreated.
“That’s Octavius?” Justin gave a laugh. “I feel sorry for your other boyfriends now.”
Kalina couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it to Justin to lighten the mood, and make her whole situation feel like a joke. After the turmoil she’d experienced over the past few hours, it was a relief to make light of the whole thing.
“It’s…complicated,” she said.
“Mom always said a girl shouldn’t settle down until she’s at least thirty,” said Justin. “And that she should play the field before that!”
“I thought she met Dad at twenty-eight?”
Mom. Dad. Words that seemed to take on such a strange meaning after meeting Max last night.
Justin looked over at Octavius’ full 6 foot 7 inch frame. “He’s certainly... large.”
Kalina couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on Octavius’ perfectly molded form. Even at seven
in the morning, Octavius was attracting quite a bit of attention from the other hotel guests and the concierge, who were all looking at him with varying degrees of desire. Even Justin, normally so oblivious to these things, noticed quite how Octavius was attracting so much attention. Kalina couldn’t help letting a blush spread over her cheeks as her heart swelled with pride. She had been the one he chose, she thught. She had been the one he wanted, the one to hold him, even if it was just for one night.
“Uh…Kalina?” Justin’s voice brought her back down to reality. “Earth to Kalina. Still there?”
Kalina turned bright red as she snapped out of it, hoping Justin didn’t see her guilty blush. “Sorry,” she said. “Uh…I was distracted.”
“I’ll bet you were,” Justin laughed. “No wonder you don’t want to commit to Jaegar just yet.”
Kalina turned even redder. “I can’t believe you just said that,” she laughed.
“My little sister’s all grown up! Let’s see if I can keep track of the number of vampires you’ve gone through…”
“Don’t tease me!” Kalina’s blush was by now the color of a particularly ripe tomato. “It’s hard enough trying to decide.”
“I don’t get it,” said Justin. “Don’t you just feel – well – lucky?”
“I’m attracted to all of them,” she said. “At first, it was just Aaron, Jaegar, and Stuart. I felt a connection with all of them. But Octavius is their maker, Justin! So he’s the reason I have that connection – he’s the source! My truest connection is with him.”
“Well…” Justin looked uncomfortable once his teasing had wandered into the realm of serious discussion. “I’m just glad he brought you home. I was so worried – and once Jaegar and I split up, I was even more freaked out than before.”
“That’s why I’m back, Justin,” said Kalina. “To find Jaegar. He’s really upset – I was the one who had to tell him telepathically. Stuart, well – Stuart was staked. He’s dead.”
Justin’s eyes shot wide open. “Kalina!” He drew her close to his chest, hugging her tightly. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea…”
“I haven’t even had time to grieve,” said Kalina. “The second he got staked, another vampire – two – showed up and I had to worry about fighting them off. Octavius showed up and whisked me away in time.”
“Don’t worry about grieving now,” said Justin. “Just focus on fixing yourself. When the time comes, we’ll sit down and talk about it. But for now you’ve been in so much danger; I’m not surprised the shock numbed the pain.” He took her hand. “Remember when Aaron died – the first time, I mean? How sad you were?”
Kalina nodded.
“It won’t be that bad this time, I promise.” He squeezed her hand tightly. “I’m here for you, now. And so is Octavius. And so is Jaegar. We’ll all be your family.”
“But it’s Jaegar I’m worried about!” Kalina pleaded. “He’s all alone. He hasn’t got anyone else. He’s just lost his brother soon after losing his other brother, he loved Aaron so much, and he wouldn’t admit it, but he loved Stuart, too – and Octavius can’t help him. He’s angry enough at Octavius, and both of us. He always knew that it was different between Octavius and me, but he’d never let himself believe it. Never let it hit him. And now it’s hit him really hard, and he feels so betrayed.”
“Your life is never simple, is it, sis?” Justin smiled. “Listen, whichever one of these guys you pick – or two – or three, I support it. As long as they treat you right.”
“And I always use protection, if I needed it, but it’s never gotten that…” Kalina rolled her eyes. Justin had given her this speech so many times that she’d memorized it.
“Kal, I don’t want to know,” Justin said. “I’m just glad it has never gotten that far…”
Kalina and Justin rose and went to find Octavius at the next table. “So,” said Justin, sitting down. “You’re here to find Jaegar, right?”
Kalina saw the envy on Octavius’ face. Served him right, she thought. At least if he was jealous, he’d realize what a fool he was to push her away like that!
“I’ll use my tracking abilities,” said Octavius. “I can always find my progeny, you see. That’s where being thousands of years old comes in handy.”
Kalina couldn’t help but laugh as Justin’s eyes flew open in shock. “Thousands of…” Justin’s voice trailed off. “I mean, Kal, I know you liked older men, but I just thought, you know…college kids.”
“Do you know where he is?” Kalina said quickly to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment.
“I do,” said Octavius. “But I suggest you get your bags first. Is the Yale Tour concluded?”
“Yeah, the program finished the other night,” said Kalina. “We’re headed back to Rutherford until autumn.”
“She’s got to graduate,” Justin beamed proudly.
“How convenient,” said Octavius. “That’s precisely where we’re headed. Jaegar’s at Greystone Winery.”
Chapter 18
They packed Justin’s bag hurriedly. Teleportation had been an option for Kalina, but Octavius made it clear that, given his recent exertions, he doubted he’d be able to teleport both Kalina and Justin. They would have to take a flight – the normal, human way. Kalina didn’t admit it, but she felt rather relieved. She’d already had quite enough of teleportation for a few days, and was looking forward to the peace and quiet of the airplane. It would be time to think, she thought – time to quiet her thoughts and worries before she had to face Jaegar.
She wasn’t yet sure what she’d say to him. She knew that she wanted to caress his brow, kiss his cheek, and tell him how brave Stuart had been in the last moments of his life, how he had died trying to protect her. Cold comfort, she knew, but at least Stuart had died somewhat free of the bonds of Life’s Blood. She wasn’t sure what to do beyond that. She knew she would be drawn to him, be attracted to him, but with the situation so uncertain between her and Octavius, she wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt. She wanted to move on from Octavius, to leave him and his vacillations behind her, but all through the airport and the flight his beauty tormented her.
It was like traveling with a rock star. Women stopped and stared in the departures terminal, in the check-in lines, going through security. From beautiful young ingénues to the elderly clerk at security, every woman who passed them by stopped to gape at Octavius’ finely molded form. Kalina was torn. On the one hand, she beamed with pride, seeing Octavius so desired by the women around her. On the other hand, it filled her with regret. Why had she not been able to keep him – this beautiful man who would never truly be hers? His dcillations his calling, would never permit him to become human, and as his vampire beauty overwhelmed her, she knew also – with painful regret – that this beauty was part of his nature. Of all the vampires she knew, Octavius was the oldest – the most vampiric. He could never give up being a vampire, being strong and powerful and beautiful. Not for her. Not for anyone.
The thought of Octavius remaining young and beautiful while she aged into nothingness gnawed at Kalina all during the flight home. By the time they arrived in Rutherford – provoking another round of amazement at Octavius’ looks by the Californian airport staff – she just wanted to be alone, to run away from Octavius and Jaegar alike and hide away with her thoughts, her feelings and her fears.
“Jaegar’s at the house,” said Octavius. “I can feel it. With Stuart gone, he’s the sole heir, the sole owner of the winery.”
“Still there?” Kalina furrowed her brow. “But it’s been hours – what’s he doing…?”
“He’s still there,” Octavius’ face grew dark. “He’s been…feeding.”
“Vampire Wine?”
“No, the real thing.” Octavius spoke curtly, avoiding Kalina’s gaze. “I can sense it. He’s glutted himself on the blood of young girls – drunken, college revelers most like. He’s drained them…almost too much! I imagine he’s feeling the effects. We vampires may not be able to drink any wi
ne other than the vampiric sort, but drinking the blood of the drunk certainly has a….stultifying effect.”
“Complicated!” Justin gave an awkward laugh.
Poor Justin, Kalina thought. He was being an awfully good sport, trying to keep up with vampire plots and vampire intrigues that seemed to boggle his comprehension. He wasn’t doing a half-bad job, either, even if she doubted he’d ever be handy with a stake.
“I daresay,” said Octavius, as they arrived at Kalina’s house. “He’s not taking the death of his brother in the best of ways.”
Justin began hauling the suitcases upstairs. “Just a second!” he said, as cheerfully as he could muster. “Then we’ll be on our way to the winery.”
When he had disappeared up the staircase, Kalina and Octaviu were left alone together for the first time since Rome. Kalina felt her stomach twist into knots. As much as she tried to push her love for Octavius out of her mind, her anger with his inability to be with her had only succeeded in pushing it back to the lurking recesses of her subconscious – the ache still dull and throbbing throughout her body.