Elaine was right; he did business only one way: straightforward and to the point. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she had seen him with his son, Brad, she actually might be afraid of him. That’s when she realized that Beckett had the same trait. They both had that “don’t fuck with me” outer shell, but if you looked closely, you saw someone loving and gentle. Well, as gentle as these guys can be anyway.
The island had been magical for her, but was it only because Beckett had been here? Would it be the same without him? No matter what, it wasn’t like he would be in New York either. Once she boarded the seaplane, she would most likely never see him again. What they had shared, although amazing, was not their reality. It was a sweet escape, one she wished wouldn’t end but she knew had to. The sooner, the better actually. The longer I’m near him, the more I care.
Even now her feelings were tearing her up inside. Knowing that after this meeting he was going to walk them down to the plane and wave goodbye was more than she could take. Jamie seemed to be accepting it better than she was. Maybe I should have told him to console me as well the other night.
She blushed as she thought how good Beckett had felt deep inside her and how she could make him growl for more.
“Danielle, we understand if you can’t answer us now,” KJ said. “It seems you have a lot to think about.”
“No. That’s not it. I mean, there is a lot to think about, but I would love the job. Thank you for thinking of me. There’s something I need to do first, if you don’t mind. There’s someone I would like Jamie to meet with, but I’m not sure what his schedule is. So, until I can talk to him, I won’t know what my schedule will look like.”
“I have a lot of connections, Danielle. If you want me to make a call, just say the word,” Jon answered.
Danielle was grateful for the offer. Jon Vinchi was probably the most connected man in the medical technology world. But she wanted to handle this on her own. Beckett had said he’d laid out the path for her, and she was going to trust him and take it. What do I have to lose? Nothing I’ve ever done has worked. “Thanks, but a friend has already taken care of that for me . . . I mean us.”
KJ looked at her questioningly. Their friendship had grown to the point where it was hard to hide the truth. There really wasn’t anything to hide. As far as she knew, the connection between her and Beckett had only been sexual on his part. A damn sweet and hot one, but still only sexual.
“Danielle, we’ll have everything ready for you when you return. Jamie comes first. Do whatever you need for that precious little boy. The job is yours. Just let us know when you’re ready, and we’ll make the arrangements for your belongings to be shipped,” Elaine said.
Danielle hugged every single one of them before leaving the suite. Her circle of support had grown dramatically over the past week. Even if she had believed she could go back to her normal routine in New York, she knew it was impossible. She and Jamie weren’t the same people who had flown here. If I can help even one person who needs to be on this island for their own care or for that of their loved one, then I will know I gave back what I have been given.
Danielle went to get Jamie from Lynn’s suite. Every place they passed she had hoped to see Beckett waiting, but he wasn’t there.
“Come on, Jamie. Time to head to the plane and go home.”
Jamie pulled Blossom closer, as though he needed her support right now. Danielle felt the same way. Leaving here was so much more difficult than she thought it would be. If she didn’t need to have Jamie see Doug for an evaluation, then she probably would have taken Trent up on the offer to let them handle everything and would never leave the island again.
That wouldn’t have been right. She never took advantage of anyone and doing so would be doing exactly that. They had already been so kind to her and Jamie. She needed to do everything she could for herself and only ask for help if she truly needed it.
So why had she been willing to accept Beckett’s help with Jamie? Although it was best for Jamie, she could have nipped that in the bud right away, and they never would have gotten so close. Maybe I wanted him close for me as well.
As they approached the plane, she noticed Gunny wasn’t alone. Beckett. Jamie noticed him as well and bolted toward him. Blossom didn’t follow, staying in place with Danielle. Yeah, I know, girl. They need a moment. I get it. I need one, too, but . . .
Jamie half-jumped into Beckett’s arms. Danielle’s heart was breaking at the sight. This should be a joyous time, but all she could think about was that this was goodbye. I’m not ready for this.
There really was no option but to go and break up the two of them. Beckett wasn’t leaving until tonight, and she had to go now or the plane wouldn’t make it back in time for him. “Thanks for coming to see us off.”
“I told you we would see each other again,” he said, still holding Jamie.
“Yes, you did.” Danielle couldn’t answer more than that; her voice was already cracking. Her emotions were about to give way, and that wouldn’t be good for any of them.
“You two had better say your goodbyes since we’re already late,” Gunny grunted.
Beckett turned and shot him a warning look.
Danielle reached out for Jamie. “Come on. You heard the pilot. We have to leave. We’ll see Beckett again one day. But for now, we have to go.”
Jamie slowly slid out of Beckett’s arms until his feet were once again on the dock. Danielle stood there awkwardly. If only she was seven and could jump into his arms like Jamie, squeezing him with all her might. I might not ever let go.
The thought scared the hell out of her. One week and she was already thinking like that. She must be losing her mind. It would fade once they were apart. It had to. The feelings running through her right now couldn’t be real. There was no way. I do not love this man. I can’t. It will only make saying goodbye harder, if not impossible.
Beckett came over to her and gave her a hug. Not a “God, I want you forever” hug. It was like the ones she had just given everyone in KJ’s suite. Very friendly.
“Take care of yourself, and don’t forget to give Doug a call.”
“I will, and thank you again for everything, Beckett. We’ll never forget you.” No matter how hard I try, I know I won’t be able to.
She pulled out of his arms and headed to the plane with Jamie. Once inside, Gunny started the engines, and a loud roar filled the cabin. She wished he was flying back with them, but it made no sense since he wasn’t going to New York.
Jamie sat across from her and watched out the window as the plane started to pull away from the dock. She watched as Jamie opened his mouth. No words came out, but she swore she saw him mouth one word. Beckett.
She swallowed hard. She knew right then and there she wasn’t the only one who loved that man. Danielle looked out the window as the distance between them grew. Neither of us will forget you.
Gunny returned later that night as he had promised. If he hadn’t, there was a chance Beckett would have changed his mind. Really, he wasn’t even sure what had gotten him to agree to this in the first place. He had a job to do. Ross was expecting him in California next week to start the installation of the new security system on his boat. So why was he risking a huge opportunity like that now?
“What are you sitting back there for, Beck? Get your tired ass up here and keep me company. I’ve had a long fucking day, and if you think I’m in the mood to fly your ass tonight, you’re crazy.”
Crazy. Yep, that pretty much sums me up. Everything about this week had proven he was nuts. He’d just let the most amazing woman he had ever met leave the island without even a fight. If he’d thought for one minute that being with him was good for her and Jamie, he wouldn’t have let her go. But he knew, no matter how hard it was to say goodbye, it would have been so much worse hurting them someday.
Their brief time together did a lot more than open up feelings he’d never thought he would have, but it also opened a desire to fix what he had been
ignoring. Me.
His cell phone rang. “Beckett.”
Doug said, “Just making sure you got on that plane. I don’t want to hear any excuses as to why you don’t show up for your first appointment with me in the morning.”
“Don’t push it, Doug. I haven’t made it there yet.”
“Beck, you did the hard part; you finally admitted to yourself that you need to talk to someone. The rest is easy.”
Yeah, sounds like it’s going to be a ball. He was going, but he knew his reasons were not what they should be. It wasn’t for him. He knew if he ever got to have what he wanted with Danielle, he needed to fix himself first so he could be there for Jamie in the way Jamie needed him to be.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” Hanging up the phone, he moved from the cabin and joined Gunny in the cockpit. “You’d better not be telling me any of your crazy flight stories, or I’m leaving your ass and going to sleep in the cabin.”
Gunny laughed. “There’re no promises in life, Beck. You should know that by now.”
Oh, that I do
Chapter Fourteen
The first few days back home had been filled with a mix of emotions. There was so much to do. Her meeting with the school department heads to tender her resignation had come as a surprise to them. All everyone said was, “Never thought you would leave New York.” The funny part was she agreed with them. This was and always had been her home.
Tourists would come from rural areas, and she enjoyed the looks of amazement in their eyes as they took in all the sights. If there were something you were looking for, you could find it in New York, or it wasn’t worth finding. At least true New Yorkers felt that way.
So why was it the one thing she could never find here was the type of feelings she found when she was with Beckett? Danielle wanted to look at it in a logical manner, so maybe then, if she analyzed it, she could better understand what her true feelings were. She wasn’t a child, and didn’t believe in love at first sight, so it had to be something else.
Could it be the timing? The one and only time she’d allowed herself to break down and cry had been the day the police showed up at her door and told her about her sister’s murder. Since that moment, Danielle had only thought of one thing: Jamie’s needs. As far as she was concerned, she no longer had any. Maybe Beckett had sensed that in her and was only being kind and trying to fill a need while she was there. He doesn’t strike me as that type of guy. Why do it just for me?
The sexual chemistry between them was undoubtedly the most powerful she had ever experienced. He’d even brought out a side of her she’d never realized she had. Until being with Beckett, if asked, she would have said she was shy in the bedroom. Almost insecure. But with Beckett, it was the opposite. She had been with two other men in her life, and the sex was okay but nothing to write home about. They were good-looking men, with average builds, and very non-threatening.
So not Beckett. He was drop-dead gorgeous. Besides his muscular body that just wouldn’t quit, he also could control everyone with just his eyes. He had shown her that he was capable of doing serious harm, if not outright killing a person, in a matter of seconds. That should have scared her away. Any rational person would have stopped talking to him. Would actually get the hell off the island and never look back. So why did I stay?
Then she remembered his eyes. Even as he had held her on the ground with no escape, his eyes had said he would never hurt her. And he hadn’t.
Was that just who he was? Would he have had the same look in his eyes no matter who it was, or had it been something more for him too? Since he didn’t say anything about us being together, or ask me to stay, I really should stop worrying about it. Let it go, Danielle. You don’t need to carry any more heartache around with you than you already have.
If he had wanted her, he would have called after they left the island. The only thing she received was a text, asking if she made it home safely. Once she replied yes, the conversation ended. That should speak volumes to her. He didn’t see it as anything more than sexual release.
Thinking that was even a possibility made her sick to her stomach. It was her choice to be with him. He hadn’t forced her or promised her anything different. Yet she couldn’t get over how his eyes had held hers as they’d made love; it was like he was looking into her soul. Actually, there were no promises at all except for one, that someday they would see him again. But I know he only said that to ease Jamie’s pain. It worked for him, but it’s doing nothing to ease mine.
Danielle looked at the clock. It was almost ten. Doug should be here any time. God, I hope I’m doing the right thing. Why I’m trusting Beckett for this is beyond me. He isn’t in the medical field. What does he know about these things anyway?
There was a knock on her door. Too late to second guess yourself now, Danielle. The man didn’t fly all the way from San Antonio just to be told you’ve changed your mind.
When she opened the door, she was surprised by the sight. Somehow she’d expected an older gentleman in a suit. The man standing in front of her appeared to be the same age as Beckett and was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. This can’t be Doug.
“Can I help you?” Danielle asked warily. She should know better than to open her door. This guy looked almost as intimidating as Beckett.
“I’m Doug. We spoke on the phone earlier this week.
And wrong again. Good thing I don’t gamble. “Right. Please, come in.”
He entered and stood by her. He was well over six feet tall, and his size alone made her nervous. She had no idea how Jamie was going to react to him either.
“You were expecting me, correct?” Doug asked.
Forcing a smile she answered, “Yes, I was just in a middle of something and lost track of time.” And when did I start lying? Oh, that was when the person in front of me scared the shit out of me. That’s when. “Please sit, and I’ll get Jamie.”
Doug sat on the small couch. “Before you do, I’d like to speak with you. Set some expectations, get more history, and answer any questions you might have for me.”
With such a small apartment, she really had no choice but to sit near him. “I should have thought of that. This isn’t our first time meeting with someone, but it has never been in our home or so informal. Usually we meet at an office.”
“Yeah, I don’t work like that. I hate the doctor’s office, so why would I expect anyone else to like it? I deal with many people who have either spent a lot of time in the hospital as a patient or they were there with a loved one.”
Once he started speaking about his background, her nerves eased up a bit. She shouldn’t have judged him on his appearance. He obviously knew what he was talking about. What she was surprised to know was how he knew Beckett. Special Forces. Yeah, that I can believe. Psychologist, not so much.
“It sounds as though you’ve helped so many people, including children who have emotional scars like Jamie does.”
“You mean you and Jamie,” Doug stated.
Me? What’s he talking about? He’s here for Jamie only! “No. I’m fine. It’s Jamie who’s still struggling.”
Doug continued to look at her then spoke plainly to her. “Then I really should be worried. Anyone who suffers from a loss as you have should have lasting issues.”
He was right. It wasn’t only Jamie who lost someone that night. But she didn’t have time to grieve. In a split second, she had become his guardian, if not his parent figure. If she had broken down, who would have been there for him? “I’m not saying it hasn’t affected me. God, that would make me some kind of monster. It’s just that I have a responsibility, which I take very seriously.”
“As you should. But you have a responsibility to yourself as well. If you don’t take care of yourself first, how do you expect to take care of Jamie? You might not realize it, but children pick up on emotions that we adults don’t even acknowledge we have. Funny how we lie to ourselves each day, as though everything is okay.”
> Is he right? Is that why Jamie won’t turn to me? He thinks I’m lying, even if it’s to myself? “What can I do? I need to be able to be there for Jamie. I need him to know I am okay, and he can lean on me, and he can trust me with his pain.”
“The first step has been taken. Over the next week, you and I can talk about this before I meet with Jamie. I believe it’s best to work as a family unit. We leave no one behind.”
Danielle spent the next hour talking through things she never realized were troubling her. At one point she found herself angry and practically yelling at Doug.
“What am I to think? The murder happened almost a year and a half ago, and no one knows anything more today than they did then. It’s like my sister and brother-in-law’s lives don’t matter. How am I supposed to move on when I’m constantly reminded that the person who did this is still out there? For all I know I’ve seen him on the subway or in a restaurant. You can’t ask me to move on, not until I have answers, and right now I have zip.” Danielle felt her hands trembling as she spoke. She didn’t want to hate anyone, but she hated whoever did this, and she couldn’t bring herself to forgive him. I hope one day you get what you deserve.
“Beck, I’m telling you I’ve spoken to the police department, and they have no further leads,” the man on the phone said.
“Did you get a copy of the file I asked for?” Beckett barked.
“You don’t walk into the New York City police department, ask for a file, and they hand it over.” Beckett waited. “They said no.”
His nostrils flared. “Since when do we take ‘no’ for an answer? We’re the fucking Marines. Has being told ‘no’ ever stopped us before?”
“Beck, there has to be a reason they are not forthcoming with that information.”
“I figured that out for myself. If you need me to come to New York to get it myself, just say it. I’m telling you, I want to find this asshole, and when I’m done with him, he’ll wish he had been caught by the police.” Beckett’s entire body was tense with a rage he had not felt since losing members of his team. He might not be able to find the people who planted the IED, but nothing was going to stop him from finding out who killed Jamie’s parents. “So tell me, Sarge, are you in or not?”
All Bets Off: Betting On You Series: Book Five Page 11