Ruined & Redeemed: The Earl's Fallen Wife

by Bree Wolf

Aware that her husband was only seconds away from lunging himself at Northfield, Charlotte stepped forward and quickly slid her arm through his. “I’m tired, my dear,” she said, pulling him forward and past Northfield. “Let’s continue this discussion in the morning.”

  Although she could feel his reluctance to go in the tense muscles under her fingers, her husband allowed her to lead him from the room, his face dark and twisted with barely controlled rage. The moment the door closed behind them, he stopped, his eyes turning to her. “Are you all right?” he asked through gritted teeth as his gaze slowly grew softer.

  “I’m fine,” Charlotte assured him, once more taking a hold of his arm and dragging him onward. Who knew what would happen if Northfield decided to follow them?

  “I’m sorry,” he growled as they headed up the stairs. “That man should not be here, and yet, it is his right.” A dark laugh rose from his throat. “After all, he is family.”

  “I know,” Charlotte whispered, feeling the same sense of absurdity at the current situation. That man was the enemy; yet, they could not keep him from entering their home.

  Opening the door to her bedchamber, Charlotte pulled her husband inside. “But you must not go after him,” she cautioned as an old fear crept into her heart. “He is baiting you, taunting you, and if you let down your guard, he will destroy you.” Coming to stand before him, she looked up into her husband’s eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, too.”

  A slow smile touched his lips as his gaze began to soften.

  Reaching up her hand, Charlotte cupped his cheek, suddenly unable not to touch him. Then she bit her lower lip in a moment of indecision before she reached up and pulled him into a kiss.

  When had this happened? She wondered. When had she become so dependent on the feel of his skin against hers? Mere days ago, the thought of his touch would have sent her fleeing from the room.

  Hesitating for no more than a second, her husband wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, a low growl rumbling in is throat as he returned her kiss hungrily.

  Passion ignited between them, heating her skin and stealing her breath. His lips were eager, demanding, and his hands held her possessively, their embrace unyielding. Instead of tender, his touch was rough, and a spark of fear began to burn in her heart as her soul remembered the power of blind, all-consuming desire with no regard for anything but its own needs.

  However, before she could will herself to stop him, he suddenly released her, stepping back. Breathing heavily, he shook his head, eyes apologetic as he gazed at her swollen lips. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t do this. Not here. Not now.” He took a deep breath, seeking to steady his rattled nerves. “I’m too close to losing control that I fear I cannot trust myself right now, and the last thing I want is to lose your trust in me.”

  Touched by his words, Charlotte nodded in agreement despite the regret that echoed in her heart. “I suppose you’re right.” She cleared her throat and met his eyes. “After all, there are more important matters to discuss. I had hoped it could wait until after your father’s funeral, but I suppose I should have known that … he … would not allow us to bury him in peace.”

  “Bury him in peace?” her husband scoffed, shaking his head. “Please, do not worry about how we bury my father for it is merely an obligation for us. I know it is harsh to speak of him in such a way; yet, it is nothing but the truth.” He swallowed and openly met her eyes, regret and a touch of sadness resting in their blue depths. “I never loved him as I am certain he never loved me, and the only thing I feel saddened about is the thought that a long time ago, I might have had a chance to have a father who cared about me, about who I was and not merely about the fact that I was his heir, born to uphold the family name.” He took a deep breath. “But that time has come and gone, and although I regret the turn our lives has taken, nothing I do now will ever change that and I’ve made my peace with it. At this point, I bear him no ill-will. He is of no importance to me. The only thing I’ve ever been grateful to him for is that he’s taught me what not to do.” Grasping her hands, he looked deep into her eyes. “For the thought of living a life like his, of being cold and distant, of having those around me despise me turns my stomach. Life is too precious to waste it on unimportant matters. From now on, all my efforts shall go to ensuring the happiness of those dearest to my heart.”

  Smiling up at him, Charlotte nodded. “You’ve come a long way from the rash and unrelenting man I met only a couple of months ago.” She squeezed his hands, and he smiled at her. “I’m proud of you.”

  He grinned, and a mischievous twinkle came to his eyes. “You know what? I, too, am proud of myself. I assure you it was not easy to let go of something that has been on my mind for the past decade, and I certainly couldn’t have done it without you. You helped me see what was important, what I needed … and what I wanted.”

  As his eyes burned into hers, Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief. More than anything, she wanted to give in and step into the embrace he offered, and yet, she knew that there were more important matters to take care of first. “What shall we do about Victoria?” she asked as he stepped toward her.

  Instantly, he stopped, and the smile died on his lips. Hanging his head, he gritted his teeth. “I’ve thought about it, and I’m ashamed to say that I don’t know what to do. That man,” a menacing growl rose from his throat, “he may be the devil incarnate, but he is also her husband, and as such, she is bound to him for the rest of her life. There is nothing we can do, no legal argument that could declare their marriage void. Believe me, I’ve made enquiries.”

  The breath caught in Charlotte’s throat as his words echoed in her head. … she is bound to him for the rest of her life …

  How could she not have seen it before? It was so simple, so easy, and suddenly so clear.

  A life for a life.

  That thought had echoed in her mind once before … and it had led to a terrible injustice. A tragedy.

  Now, this was her chance to repay her debt.

  “What’s wrong?” her husband asked, his eyes slightly narrowed as they studied her face. “What are you thinking?”

  Charlotte took a deep breath before she looked at him. “Nothing,” she whispered as her mind raced, torn whether to tell him. Would he be supportive? How could he be?

  “Don’t lie to me,” he replied, the muscles in his throat suddenly tense. “I can see that you’ve come to some kind of conclusion, and the fact that you won’t share it with me suggests that it is something most unwise.” His hands grasped her shoulders. “Tell me.”

  Knowing that he wouldn’t be dissuaded, Charlotte sighed. “All right,” she whispered, meeting his eyes. “However, you must promise me not to stand in my way.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I will promise no such thing,” he declared, shaking his head, “and the fact that you would ask this of me speaks volumes. Tell me! Now!”

  Charlotte swallowed. “You said she is bound to him for the rest of her life.”

  “So?”

  “That’s not entirely true,” she corrected, and a determined smile came to her lips. “Don’t you see? Now that your father has passed on, your mother is free again to live the remainder of her life in a way that pleases her.”

  A confused frown drew down his brows. “But what does−?” Then he stopped, and his eyes narrowed even more. “You’re not suggesting we sit and wait for him to die of some kind of affliction, are you?” he asked, suspicion ringing in his voice and his hands tightening on her shoulders. “What are you saying?”

  Meeting his gaze without flinching, Charlotte took a deep breath. “Are you certain you wish to know?”

  “I think I already know,” he replied, his features tense, “but I need you to say it nonetheless.”

  “As you said, that man is evil in every sense of the word,” she began, hoping that on some level he would be able to understand. “He doesn’t deserve to live and inflict pain on those around him. For as long as he’s alive, Victoria w
ill be forced to live in a world of shame and degradation.”

  Staring at her as though she had just sprouted another head, her husband swallowed. “Would you truly take his life?”

  “He doesn’t deserve mercy,” she reminded him.

  “I’m not concerned about him,” her husband whispered, his eyes clouded as they searched her face, “but about you.” He swallowed. “You speak as though …”

  This was it! Charlotte thought. Finally, the moment had come when she couldn’t hide the dark side of her being from her husband any longer. Since he met her, he had only ever seen her as a victim. Now, he would have to find out that she hadn’t been a victim for a long time.

  Holding his questioning gaze, Charlotte nodded. “I tried to tell you this before, but you wouldn’t believe me. I told you that I’ve done things that are unforgivable, that−"

  “But you wouldn’t …” Staring at her, he shook his head. “You didn’t …”

  As tears stung behind her eyes, Charlotte nodded, whispering a silent goodbye to the wonderful dream that would now come to an end. “But I did,” she said, confirming his suspicions. “I took someone’s life.”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven – Another Secret Revealed

  Unblinking, Sebastian stared at his wife, waiting, hoping for her to tell him that it wasn’t true. After all, she couldn’t have. Could she? His wife! His Charlotte! She had only ever been kind-hearted and sweet, diligent in her care for his mother, his sister … and him as well. Could this possibly be true?

  “I know you don’t want to believe this,” she spoke when he remained quiet, not knowing what to say, “but it is true, and no amount of wishful thinking is going to change that.” She swallowed, tears brimming in her eyes. “We’re not equals. You’re a good man, but I …” She shook her head. “I’ve done something irredeemable, and this is my chance to … make amends. Maybe this is fate. Maybe I am still alive because I was meant to deliver your sister from this marriage to a man who set me on the path to my own destruction long ago.” She shrugged, blinking rapidly and tears fell from her eyelashes and rolled down her cheeks. “Although I wish it were different, I cannot change what happened. I do wish I could simply forget about the past and look to the future, a future with you. You have no idea how much I wish I could.” Pressing her lips together, she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “But it wouldn’t be right. I don’t deserve happiness, and I’m sorry that my past causes you pain. I should never have involved you in all of this. I should never have married you, and yet,” a soft smile came to her lips as she looked at him through a curtain of tears, “I cannot bring myself to regret it.”

  Taking a deep breath, Sebastian tried to organise his thoughts. So many things had come rushing at him in the past few minutes that he hardly knew what to think. All he knew for certain was that she spoke as though she was saying goodbye, and his heart twisted in agony at the thought of losing her. “How?” he demanded as a dark suspicion emerged from the fog clouding his mind. “How do you plan to deliver my sister?”

  His wife took a deep breath, and for a moment, he thought she would drop her gaze. But she didn’t. Her eyes remained fixed on his, telling him more than words ever could.

  He saw pain and regret, but also love and devotion as well as a determination that almost knocked his legs out from under him.

  Gritting his teeth, he tightened his hands on her shoulders as though that would keep her from walking down the path she had chosen. “I won’t allow it,” he growled, shaking his head vehemently.

  “It’s not your choice,” she whispered, a soft smile playing on her lips as she looked at him. “It’s mine. Mine alone.”

  “You’re my wife!” Again, he shook his head. “I won’t let you go! Whatever you did, I’m certain you had your reasons. I−"

  “You truly love me, don’t you?” she whispered in awe, her eyes glowing as she looked up at him. “Why else would you try to rationalise what I did? No one would. Only someone in love. Someone whose mind is clouded by his heart’s desire.”

  “Yes, I am in love,” Sebastian growled out, his arms coming around her, pulling her closer against him. “I love you, and I know the person you are. I cannot believe−I won’t!−that you did something out of malice. There had to have been a good reason for you to−"

  “He was a good man,” his wife whispered, grief darkening her eyes. “He didn’t deserve to die.” Holding his gaze, she nodded. “He was loved, too. He had a wife and a daughter. He was loved.” New tears came to her eyes. “What I did was unforgivable. As much as you like to believe that, I didn’t have a good reason. He was not a villain. He was not like Northfield. He didn’t deserve to die.”

  “Then why?” Sebastian choked out as despair clawed at his heart.

  “That’s a long story,” his wife said, averting her gaze, “but it began that night when Northfield forced himself on me. That night set everything in motion, and it has brought us here.” Again, she raised her eyes, cold steel shining in them as she looked at him. “Everything I’ve done has led me here, and now, I need to finish it once and for all.”

  Staring at her, Sebastian shook his head. “I won’t let you!”

  She took a deep breath, and then her gaze grew softer. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’d forgotten what it felt like to be loved, to have someone who would stand with me. You helped me remember who I once had been. I’d thought I’d lost that part of me a long time ago, but you helped me find it once more.”

  Holding her gaze, Sebastian wondered about the change in her tone as well as the softness that had come to her eyes.

  “It is late,” she whispered, and her eyes closed briefly. “Let us speak about this tomorrow.”

  Sebastian’s gaze narrowed.

  “Lock me in my room if you don’t believe me,” his wife challenged, exhaustion plain on her features. “I promise I won’t do anything tonight.”

  “And after tonight?”

  She took a deep breath. “I will do what I must.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight – The One at Fault

  Sebastian rose early the next morning, long before the sun did. All night he had spent tormented by the news his wife had finally shared with him, and she had been right, a part of him wished he had never known.

  After assuring himself that Charlotte was still asleep, he headed downstairs, unable to keep still. Since he would not leave her alone with Northfield under the same roof, he busied himself walking around the manor.

  Lost in thought, he eventually entered the library and found his sister slumped in one of the armchairs, head tilted to one side, fast asleep.

  His heart tightened in his chest, and he strode over, gently brushing a strand of hair from her forehead.

  She sighed then, and her eyelids began to flutter.

  A moment later, she awoke with a start, eyes wide and a hand clasped to her chest. When she saw him, relief came to her face, and she exhaled deeply. “Oh, it is you. Thank God.”

  “Did you think it was him?” Sebastian growled, suddenly more than tempted to head upstairs and strangle the man in his sleep. “Why are you sleeping in a chair?”

  Rising to her feet, Victoria brushed down her dress, all the while avoiding meeting his gaze. “I guess I fell asleep reading.”

  “Reading?” Sebastian repeated, doubt in his voice. “What book did you read? And, where is it?”

  Eyes flitting about the room, now and then darting to him, Victoria stammered for words. “Well, I … it … it must be here somewhere. Maybe one of the servants returned it to the shelf.”

  Shaking his head, Sebastian stepped forward; his hand caught her chin, forcing her to look at him. “You slept here to escape him, didn’t you?”

  Sadness filled her eyes, and for a moment, she closed them. Exhaustion clung to her features, and Sebastian feared that she would sink to the floor, unable to bear the weight resting on her shoulders any longer.

  “We will find a solution, Victoria,” he promise
d, holding her gaze, hoping that she would believe him and that he would not fail her again.

  “There’s nothing you can do,” she whispered, resignation in her voice. “He’s my husband, and I’m bound to him.”

  As anger coursed through his veins, Sebastian shook his head. “We shall see about that.” Then he cleared his throat, ignoring the confused look in his sister’s eyes, he asked, “Charlotte spoke to you, did she not?”

  Victoria nodded. “After that night when …” Her voice trailed off, and she lowered her eyes.

  “She told you how she came to … know your husband?” Sebastian forced out.

  “She did,” his sister confirmed, her eyes searching his once more. “She spoke to you as well.”

  “Yes, I came upon her that night as she sneaked out to the stables.”

  Victoria’s eyes widened. “She wanted to run away?”

  He nodded.

  “I cannot blame her,” she whispered. “I would do the same if I had the courage.”

  Seeing the misery on her face, Sebastian cursed. There had to be a way he could protect them both without allowing his wife to sacrifice herself for his sister. “She’s determined to protect you,” he confessed. “She wants to free you of your husband.”

  A soft smile came to Victoria’s face. “She feels guilty for escaping him when I am trapped being his wife. I shall speak to her. It is not her fault.”

  Sebastian drew in a deep breath, uncertain if it was right to speak to his sister about this, and yet, he felt he would burst if he kept it in any longer. “She told me … she took someone’s life.”

  His sister’s eyes widened in shock. “I’m certain she didn’t mean−"

  “No,” he interrupted. “She was quite serious. She told me she killed someone.”

  “Why?”

  “She didn’t say. All she said was that he was innocent and what she did unforgivable.”

  “Who?” Victoria asked, her shoulders tense as she stood before him. “Do you know who she …?”