I Am A Killer

by A Sick Frog

  Yin Xu Dong gave a “ha?”, and hung his head, his shoulders sagging dejectedly. After all this while of being threatened by his “mei mei*-next-door”, he was used to this.

  * 妹妹 = mei mei; younger sister, need not be biologically related

  His enthusiasm returned in a heartbeat, and he asked Qin Ke Xuan’s purpose for coming. “Does your visit entail the beginning of my Xiao Li Flying Dagger lessons?!”

  “No.”

  “Ha? Then when are you gonna start teaching me?”

  “Soon.”

  “Really? Don’t lie to me.”

  “I don’t lie.” Why bother, when you could just kill the person?

  Yin Xu Dong looked into Qin Ke Xuan’s gleamingly clear and unquestionable eyes. “Okay, then what do you want me to do now?” It cannot be questions regarding studies already? He definitely didn’t forget what she’d mentioned in the afternoon.

  “I want to watch Conan, get me some on the net*.”

  Yin Xu Dong whispered to himself: “Why suddenly Conan? Can’t she go online to watch it on her own if she wanted to watch it?” Did she get addicted to ordering me around?

  “Hm?”

  “No, nothing, I’ll search it up for you immediately.” After saying this, he ran up to his bedroom on the second floor.

  Qin Ke Xuan followed after tightly. She was curious, how was it that such a thing could be watched on the net*? What kind of net* was so magical? A fishnet*?

  * Chinese wordplay: 上网 = go online/use the Internet; it can be directly translated into “go up (onto) the net”; Qin Peng Cheng used 上网 (use the Internet) but Qin Ke Xuan deciphered it as “go up (onto) the net”, whereby she thought the 网 = “net” was something tangible where she could find her Conan in, hence as to why she was referencing questioningly to “渔网” = “fishnet”, which was a type of net, and also hence as to why I translated her phrasing when she asked Yin Xu Dong to “get me some on the net” slightly strangely

  She saw Yin Xu Dong sitting before his desk when he went into his room. A television-like item was placed on the table, except that it was a lot smaller in size. The images on the screen were also changing continuously. Yin Xu Dong held a palm-sized item in his hand, pressing it, at the same time pulling open the drawer of his desk. There was a black and long board, with many tiny squares printed with unfamiliar symbols jutting out unevenly. His hands tapped these squares dizzyingly fast, and Qin Ke Xuan saw words appearing on the screen—Detective Conan.

  So this was the net? It looked even more amazing than the television.

  “Where do you want to start from?”

  “The beginning.”

  “In that case, sit down here.” Yin Xu Dong stood up to give his seat to Qin Ke Xuan.

  After sitting down for a short while, Qin Ke Xuan pointed out a problem. “This, it doesn’t sound like the one on the television, I don’t understand it.”

  “Ha, if you can understand Japanese, that’d be sick as heck. The one shown on TV has Chinese voiceover, if you want to watch the ones on the Internet, obviously you’ll be listening to the original language! If you can’t understand, then just look at the subtitles, I usually look at the subtitles too.”

  “Mmh, teach me how to use this net next time.” Qin Ke Xuan said earnestly.

  “Ha? I need to teach you this? Tudou* works the same way as every other normal website.”

  * Tudou is a (paid?) Chinese website where people can watch dramas and animes and shows; slightly similar to Netflix

  “Mmh.”

  “Da Jie, are you trolling me, everyone who can use a computer knows how to use the Internet.”

  “How to use a computer, you need to teach me that too.”

  Oh gosh, he met a 21st-century tech-idiot. But never mind, for his Xiao Li Flying Daggers and Sunflower Dian Xue Hand, he would endure!

  While she was engrossed in the story Detective Conan was telling, Qin Ke Xuan’s phone rang. She fished it out and threw it to the Yin Xu Dong, who happened to be lying on the ground, together with the dog, competing with the dog. “Answer it.”

  Yin Xu Dong rolled his eyes. She even wanted him to answer her calls; looked like he had completely fallen into her hands as a slave.

  “Hello? Qin Ke Xuan? She’s busy, you can tell me if you have anything you need to pass on to her, me? I’m her neighbour, yeah, I’m Yin Xu Dong, ah, it’s Uncle Qin, mmh, yes, okay, I’ll tell her. Okay, got it, bye.” Yin Xu Dong hung up and looked at Qin Ke Xuan complicatedly.

  “Talk.” It was as though Qin Ke Xuan had a pair of eyes on her back.

  Yin Xu Dong gaped, horrified, and then proceeded to scratch his head, saying carefully: “That kid at your house…”

  “Why?”

  “Nothing much, it’s just that your dad told you to not bully him.”

  “I didn’t.” Why would she ever want to do such a status-lowering deed?

  “Then you plan on starving him?” That girl didn’t look like those evil stepsister type. At most, she was a malicious person, malicious to everyone that was, not just targeting her stepbrother.

  “Can’t he eat on his own?”

  Yin Xu Dong: “…I’ve seen him before, he’s only a seven- or eight-year-old…”

  “And so? What has this got to do with age?”

  Yin Xu Dong was speechless. All he knew was that this gal was odd and eccentric nowadays. Perhaps it had something to do with the mythical martial arts she learned from somewhere, or the fact that her parents were at odds for years and recently divorced. Unfortunately, he had not interacted with her much these years, so he had no way, nor right, to know what it was that had catalysed such a huge change in her.

  Seeing Yin Xu Dong quiet, Qin Ke Xuan could not help but think about another possibility, “Why? Will he actually starve?” If he actually does starve to death, will it entail the people in the house she was residing in, her apparent father and stepmother, chasing her out? “Then you go get him some food.”

  Yin Xu Dong did not expect such an inconvenience to befall him, “Why me?! I’m not going!”

  Qin Ke Xuan turned, her chilly voice sounded from her clenched teeth: “I realised, that whatever it is that I tell you to do, you seem to be unwilling, to, follow, through?”

  Yin Xu Dong’s body trembled, then half-ran-half-crawled to the balcony, before jumping into Qin Ke Xuan’s room, disappearing in a flash. All lingered in the air was his voice: “Roger!”

  Qin Ke Xuan watched Conan, feeling beyond shocked. Despite all those refined ways of murdering someone, he managed to see through everything. That Conan kid was way too astounding! Though she was quite disdainful about their killing methods, there would be a bunch of people every time there was a murder calling themselves as police appearing to catch the killer. It looked like she had to be more cautious in her future endeavours. It would be better to stir up less trouble seeing how she was on her own in this strange place.

  After watching for a while, Qin Ke Xuan realised a huge problem. Conan, no matter where he went, would encounter murder cases, and he would be able to see through the killer’s plan and motive every time, this… this was way too strange. She then thought about the evidences she left behind when killing someone. If they were seen by Conan, it would be hard to say whether she would be able to escape… the people in the alley in the afternoon, they didn’t die, did they? She seemed to not have any intent on murdering anyone then, right?

  Qin Ke Xuan, upon realising that she was worried about whether they were dead or alive, was aggravated. She had always simply finished off the target and leave. When had she ever worried about anything else? It was all the despicable Conan’s fault. Since he was poisoned and turned into a child anyway, why didn’t he just stick with being a normal kid. Was he too idle or something!

  Chapter 9 - Dan Tian

  Yin Xu Dong who had respectfully abided by his Shi Fu‘s commands and accepted his fate as a babysitter, however, upon finding the little brat in the living room, saw him nested
in the sofa, sobbing spasmodically.

  Ho, his Shi Fu even starved the little brat till he cried?

  He walked up directly to the little brat, “Oi, little step-bro, you starving? Gimme a minute, your step-sis specially instructed me to come over and make you some food, so don’t cry.”

  Qin Peng Cheng, having suddenly heard an unfamiliar male voice, raised his head. He recognised that person, he was the Ge Ge next door.

  (T/N: “哥哥“= Ge Ge; older brother)

  Despite being young, the little boy’s ego was especially strong, suddenly having someone seeing him crying, he was flustered immediately, and wiped away the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hands, “How did you come in?” He remembered the front door was already locked.

  “Me? I came in from your step-sis’s balcony. Bring me to your kitchen, and let’s see what food there is to eat? I’ll make some for the both of you.” From becoming an errand boy, then downgraded to a pet keeper, and once again downgraded to a chef, Yin Xu Dong’s immunity has already been trained to a level akin to that of a black belt holder.

  Qin Peng Cheng pouted: “Why are you making it? Where’s that women?”

  Yin Xu Dong knocked his head, saying sternly: “What ‘where’s that women’! Don’t you know how to address her as Jie Jie?” That was his Shi Fu, how could he allow others to bluster her name.

  (T/N: “姐姐” = Jie Jie; older sister)

  Qin Peng Cheng evaded him, hugging his own head, and argued noisily: “You’re talking for that women, you’re actually her accomplice right?! You guys are actually bunching up together to bully me right?! You guys are all bad people! Jerks!”

  Yin Xu Dong rolled his eyes speechlessly. This brat sure did not know how to differentiate the truth, yet he still wanted to benefit from others! He should have just starved him! However, if he were to return empty-handed, Qin Ke Xuan’s dagger eyes, or maybe real daggers, would definitely laser him to death. In the end, he gave up on overthinking and just went into the kitchen to make food.

  However, that Qin Ke Xuan sure had a way of making things difficult for him! Other than making instant noodles, he did not know how to cook!

  After hunting up and down, he could only find noodles from the bunch of unprocessed food. Forget it, noodles and instant noodles were both noodles, they should work the same way right.

  Only after fiddling in the kitchen for the longest of time did Yin Xu Dong produce a pot of noodles. He scooped a bowl for the little brat and scooped a bowl for himself. This was his first time cooking, he had to get a taste of it no matter what. However, when he ate a bite, he could not find it in himself to swallow down the second one. As for the little brat, who had not given him any face, he had long ran to the toilet to vomit it out.

  “Where is he?” Qin Ke Xuan entered the kitchen, took out a set of utensils from the cupboard and scooped a bowl of noodles for herself, then sat down, ready to eat. Upon seeing this, Yin Xu Dong, worried for that his Shi Fu would suddenly decide to expel her disciple, hurriedly reached out and pressed her chopsticks down, if she did expel him, who would he go and cry to? “This, can you not eat it?”

  “Why?”

  “This, that…” Yin Xu Dong minced his words, reluctant to talk.

  Qin Ke Xuan was impatient, “Cut your nonsense, if you don’t want to die, move your hands.”

  Given the two choices, dying or being expelled, he struggled with himself for a while and decided to go with the former.

  Qin Ke Xuan picked up a few strands of noodles with her chopsticks and sniffed it, it was not poisoned and ate the first chopstick-ful, and then the second, then the third…

  Yin Xu Dong stared at Qin Ke Xuan polishing her bowl, his eyes widening, and asked, shocked: “Are your taste buds functioning?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you, you…”

  “It doesn’t taste very good. But it’s fine as long as it can satisfy my hunger.”

  Yin Xu Dong was thoroughly touched and inspired, and decided to practice his culinary skills from that moment on!

  “Little step-bro! Come and finish your serving! Even your sis didn’t say a word, you dare to not eat it?” Yin Xu Dong grabbed the Qin Peng Cheng who had been stealing glances at them from behind the door, and pressed him down on his seat, in front of his bowl of noodles.

  Qin Peng Cheng looked at the Qin Ke Xuan, who had not only finished her own serving, but calmly and expressionlessly started scooping a second serving, and commented: “Is this even edible?”

  Qin Ke Xuan met his gaze, picked up his pair of chopsticks, and placed it in his hands, “Eat.”

  Yin Xu Dong watched merrily as Qin Peng Cheng had his little face scrunched up while eating the bowl of noodles with difficulty. He too picked up his bowl of noodles and started eating, aye, that was his wonderful fruit of his hard work! Delicious!

  The three of them exhausted the entire pot of noodles, of course, the majority of it went down Qin Ke Xuan’s stomach. Since it was late, and on top of the fact that Qin Peng Cheng was too tired to bother the two of them, he quickly ran away to bathe.

  Yin Xu Dong, too, crawled back home, not forgetting to implore Qin Ke Xuan: “Honoured Shi Fu, you definitely have to teach me Xiao Li Flying Daggers!”

  However, on the second day, he wished so hard he could bang his head against the wall such that he may miraculously get amnesia, and forget.

  Qin Ke Xuan stood beside Yin Xu Dong’s bed, saying plainly: “If you’re not getting up, then you don’t need to appear anymore.”

  Yin Xu Dong squirmed painfully, before sitting up unwillingly, “Da Jie, what time is it now? It’s four thirty, my god! The sun hasn’t even risen!”

  “You’re choosing to never appear before me again?”

  “Don’t! I’m just saying, talking. You turn around first, I’ll change my clothes.”

  Qin Ke Xuan walked out to wait at the balcony. After a short while, Yin Xu Dong walked out slowly, “Where are we going?”

  “Just follow me.” Qin Ke Xuan pushed off the balcony railing, leaping lightly, and jumped off the balcony right in front of the shocked Yin Xu Dong.

  Yin Xu Dong hurriedly pounced towards the railings, and bent forward to look down, his suppressed voice low with worry: “Are you okay? Any injuries?” That was the freaking second floor!

  Qin Ke Xuan rolled her eyes again. Sadly the sky was still dark, so the recipient to her eye-rolling upstairs did not receive the message. “Hurry come down.” He was wasting away her time.

  Seeing how she stood there, all intact, Yin Xu Dong felt relieved, “Oh, wait.” After saying that, his person disappeared from the balcony.

  Only after waiting for quite a while did Qin Ke Xuan hear him running from the front door. Her normal unruffled-ness and calmness was turned upside down as Qin Ke Xuan suddenly had the urge to exterminate this disciple she had taken in strangely.

  “Whew~ If I jump down, there’s definitely gonna be loads of noise, if my parents hear that, I’d be dead. Oh right, Shi Fu, how did you manage to jump down so soundlessly? That was so sick!”

  Qin Ke Xuan inhaled deeply, pressing down her surging anger, “From today onwards, you will start by learning the ways of the Inner Gong*, finish learning Qing Gong before talking about anything else.”

  (T/N: “内功心法” = “the ways of the Inner Gong”; sorry it’s a crappy-sounding translation/name/title. Anyone with a better sounding one, do comment below~)

  “Qing Gong?!” Upon hearing this, Yin Xu Dong was happy enough to leap up to the balcony on the second floor, Qing Gong actually really existed! What Xiao Li Flying Daggers and Sunflower Dian Xue hand, Qing Gong is the way to go man!

  “If you wake people up, you can forget about coming.”

  Yin Xu Dong hurriedly covered his mouth, and nodded his head non-stop excitedly, “Whatever Shi Fu says is the way to go! Then where are we going now?”

  Qin Ke Xuan turned back and walked forward, “Just follow me.”

  Yin Xu Dong
followed her ecstatically.

  Qin Ke Xuan brought Yin Xu Dong to one of their district’s north-west landscape. That area did not have any housing nearby, only some greenery. On top of that, it was still early in the morning so it was dark. The place was isolated, hence suitable and secluded a place to train without being discovered.

  “Sit down.” Qin Ke Xuan dropped down first.

  Yin Xu Dong followed suit, and sat down, following how Qin Ke Xuan sat with her legs crisscrossed.

  Qin Ke Xuan closed her eyes, “I’ll be reciting the verse to the way of the Inner Gong once, imprint it in your memory.”

  “Yes! Shi Fu!”

  “Settle one’s Qi and restrain one’s self, purify one’s heart and regard one’s mien. Exhale one’s Qi, from out inhaling in. Crystallise with the core and disseminate with the body… Focus one’s will and sink Qi to one’s Dan Tian. In through one’ mouth, reconcile through one’s nose, stop while preserving one’s potency.”

  (T/N: “丹田” = “Dan Tian”; two inches below the navel where one’s Qi resides)

  “…”

  “Memorised?”

  “No…”

  “Forget it, repeat after me and follow what I do.”

  …

  “… allow it to cycle in your body, and let it sink into your Dan Tian.”

  Yin Xu Dong raised his hand: “Shi Fu, can I ask a question?”

  “Speak.”

  “Where is the Dan Tian?”

  Qin Ke Xuan’s gnawed her teeth, “Two to three inches below your navel.”

  “Oh.”

  “Compress the Qi in your body into your Dan Tian.”

  Yin Xu Dong followed Qin Ke Xuan’s instructions dutifully, and pushed his “Qi“, unsure as to whether it even existed or not, down towards the Dan Tian, of which the position he was, again, unsure of. After a while, his expression scrunched up.

  “What is it?” Did he become possessed by the evils?

  (T/N: “走火入魔”＝ “possessed by the evils” sounds terrible, anyone with a better phrasing please comment below~)

  “If you have something to say, say it, if you have fart, fart it*.”

  (T/N: it’s a Chinese saying, it basically means “out with it”.)