I Am A Killer

by A Sick Frog

  “Transmigration novels are what’s trending now. A lot of people fantasise about transmigrating even. Do you think there is anyone who can transmigrate in this world?”

  “Yes!” She herself was an unforgettable case. Unless she didn’t exist in this world, else, she won’t not believe in its existence.

  “Aye? So sure? Then do you think one can really transmigrate with such methods?”

  “No idea.” The female MC in this novel experimented with a lot of futile methods. In the end however, she only transmigrated when she died in a car accident, so Zhuo Xiao Xuan couldn’t possibly take the risk to get into an accident and try dying, could she? “Maybe one would be able to transmigrate if there is a time machine.”

  “Haha! Xiao Xuan, did you watch too much Pokonyan!*? How can there possibly be a time machine! Time can’t reverse itself!”

  * 叮当猫 = Pokonyan!; Pokonyan! is a 1993–1996 anime series produced by NHK. There are 170 episodes, each 10 minutes long. It is licensed by Enoki Films as Rocky Rackat!. Pokonyan! was very popular in the 1990s, when there was a tanuki trend.

  “Einstein’s Theory of Relativity states that when the speed of something exceeds the speed of light, time will reverse.”

  “First of all, I won’t deny the theory the great Einstein said, but I think that once time has passed, it’s passed, it’s impossible to turn it back. For those who have passed away, how is it possible for time to reverse and for the dead to come alive? If there really was a time machine, then won’t everyone be able to return to the ancient times? If that’s the case, then history would be a mess!”

  “…true.” Zhuo Xiao Xuan lowered her head. Then could someone only transmigrate forward in time into the future?

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan lowered her head and continued reading. After a while though, she finally couldn’t stand it. What in the bullshit was with the plot! The top killer organisation sent out a killer to assassinate this weak female, yet the mission drew to a close with killer failing? Even the top killer in the organisation returned unsuccessful, and even said that he would “no longer kill anyone” because he fell in love with her? And from then on, he defected from the organisation to stay by the female’s side to protect her, and then watched on as she tangled herself with the Emperor and multiple Princes unceasingly? Exactly how breathtakingly beautiful of a woman the female MC was that any male species would fall in love with her at first sight?!

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan dumped her book aside and went to wash up and sleep. She swore that she won’t ever read transmigration books again; she was a retard for having read them in the first place!

  The next day before the sun was up, there was someone in the dorm that’d sneakily waken up to brush their teeth in preparation for the training. In some of the dorms where the students were being too noisy, they were immediately shouted at to cease their ruckus by the people on patrol, and were recorded for the demerits.

  After training for a period of time, the company commander had the sergeants round up all the students together for a break and sit in a circle to howl some songs to communicate some feelings.

  The company commander stood in the centre-most position, shouting in excitement to stir everyone’s enthusiasm. “Who do y’all recommend to come up for a performance?”

  “Zhuo Xiao Xuan!” Someone seated among the guys shouted, before the bunch of them burst into laughter. There were few females in military school to begin with, and the majority of had tough and stocky build, hence, Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s thin, weak build with a height that barely inched past the minimum height requirement for female soldiers on top of her fair and delicate face was especially conspicuous when mixed among the bunch of tanned students. All the guys had noticed that the prettiest girl in their school was Zhuo Xiao Xuan. Hence there was no time to lose for them to have her go up to perform at a time like that. There wouldn’t be such an opportunity in the future if they were to miss this one, hence, they naturally were going to grip on tight to this one.

  And so, Zhuo Xiao Xuan who’d remained low-key all throughout the training was pushed out to stand in front of everyone without rhyme nor reason. She was not a shy person to begin with, so she stood in the centre of the open space, natural and unrestrained.

  The company commander said to her: “Sing a song for us.”

  “There Is Unity In Strength?” That was the only military song she knew how to howl out.

  The audience however was dissatisfied. They’d heard this song way too many times. “No way! Another song! A song that isn’t a military song!”

  “Change a song then.”

  “Don’t know anything else.” She said coldly.

  “Then, what do you know?”

  “Kill… a battle competition I mean.” Zhuo Xiao Xuan paused and pointed at a guy. “You, come up.” Humans won’t learn their lessons if they’ve never gotten a sound beating.

  The guy was the one that started shouting for Zhuo Xiao Xuan to go up to perform. He walked out amidst the laughter and jesting of the other guys and stood by Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s side. After being coldly gazed at by Zhuo Xiao Xuan, he finally scratched, a little embarrassed: “Hello, I’m Zhang Wu. We’re going to compete? I don’t think that’s good though? It’d be bad if I accidentally hurt you. Let’s just sing a song instead.”

  “You’re overthinking. Get ready.”

  The two of them stood face to face. Zhuo Xiao Xuan gestured for him to begin first, but he didn’t want to no matter what, and insisted that she should make a move first instead.

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan ran over with an incredibly slow speed and sent a punch at him; Zhang Wu dodged. She then kicked at him, and he evaded after retreating a few steps.

  “I don’t need you to go easy on me. If you don’t make your move, I’ll return to my seat.” Zhuo Xiao Xuan said coldly as her attack was once again dodged

  After being threatened by Zhuo Xiao Xuan, Zhang Wu finally carefully stretched his hand to catch her punch. Zhuo Xiao Xuan proceeding to catch his stretched hand with a backhand move however him shocked. He didn’t think she would be able to do anything with it though. Just as he was about to concede defeat in this inappropriate contest, his body was suddenly pulled by Zhuo Xiao Xuan. By the time he reacted, both his feet were already off the ground and his entire being was smashed in a flip onto the ground

  Everyone, much less Zhang Wu, was flabbergasted. They’d noticed that Zhang Wu was purposely going easy on Zhuo Xiao Xuan who was at the disadvantage. Who would have known that she’d throw him over her shoulders and turn the tides?

  “You’ve let me win. I’ve practised this move before. If you weren’t careless and guarded yourself properly, I’m afraid I won’t be your opponent.” Zhuo Xiao Xuan said to the standing Zhang Wu.

  At hearing that, everyone understood. Everyone could tell that Zhang Wu was throwing the contest, and Zhuo Xiao Xuan indeed only won with her sudden attack. It was fine though, as everyone knew in their heads who’d have won and lost if Zhang Wu had been serious.

  Zhang Wu said, laughing: “You’re still pretty amazing. Normal girls don’t have the strength to throw a person like that.”

  Following that, a few more other went up to dance and sing a few songs, and the time passed just like that.

  In the entire month of the military training, other than that one time when she intimidated the guys with her shoulder throw such that they wouldn’t call her out randomly for any more performances in the future, she hadn’t had any other outstanding displays; she’d stayed in the middle of the group when they ran, be it long-distanced or short-distanced, and she’d hit the bullseye only seven or eight times out of ten when shooting…

  It was a Sunday after the military training was over. The students had a single day off for break. The enclosed management of the military college stated that everyone who wanted to leave the campus had to apply to take turns to leave. The school wasn’t worried about students sneaking off; first of all, there were teachers and students on shift to check up on the students
, those caught would be dealt accordingly. Secondly, Military School was built with a mountain skirting its side, and there were no residences within the several-kilometre-radius of the school. Other than fixed regular bus services that went out to the city, there was no other transport available. Yin Xu Dong had to rent a mini-van with great difficulty the last time he visited. Those that wanted to take the bus out had to display their approved application papers, so students who’d sneak out would only return, their attempt futile.

  Ever since military training began, Zhuo Xiao Xuan had not met with Yin Xu Dong. She thought for a while before decided that day that she was going to his school to see, and so, she submitted an application to leave. Very unfortunately, her submission was too late and her approved leave ended up being queued behind, therefore, she was not granted approval to leave this time.

  However, Zhuo Xiao Xuan had never been the most rule-abiding citizen. To her, sneaking out was the most trivial of trivialities. Not only so, going without transport wasn’t a problem either, for she could easily run to the bus stop to wait for a bus with her qinggong.

  She arrived at the Military Meds College very soon, and went in after registering at the guardhouse. Before she left, she’d called Yin Xu Dong telling him that she would arrive at this timing. Hence, she saw Yin Xu Dong the moment she entered the school gates.

  “Xuan Xuan!” Yin Xu Dong immediately rushed over to give Zhuo Xiao Xuan a bear hug.

  After the bear hug, Yin Xu Dong sighed: “You lost weight again… oof!” After being slammed in the stomach by Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s elbow, he loosened his hug and excitedly pulled her into the school, introducing her all the various sceneries in Military Meds College. Along the way, he also lamented how the administration here was too strict, and that they had to wake up on time, eat on time, go to lessons on time, go to sleep on time. He narrated all of his dissatisfaction, and the fact that he’d thought they’d be able to meet often since both their schools were in the same city. However, students weren’t allowed out of military school usually. Even if they wanted to leave during the weekends, they had to take turns in applying for the quota.

  “I’ll come look for you when I have time.”

  Yin Xu Dong was beyond elated at first. Following his jubilance however was replaced with suspicion as he looked at Zhuo Xiao Xuan. “Xuan Xuan, you can’t have… sneaked out, can you?”

  “Enh, my application wasn’t approved.”

  “Ahh! You’ll be dead if you’re caught. I heard the punishment’s pretty severe. Why don’t you go back first and come down again when your application’s approved?”

  “No one will know. Or, are you suspecting my abilities?” Zhuo Xiao Xuan slanted him a gaze.

  “Of course not! I’m just worried if you’re found out…”

  “Xu Dong?”

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan turned in the direction of the sound to see a few girls walking their way. The girl standing in the middle was looking straight at her. Zhuo Xiao Xuan swept her an expressionless gaze before turning her head back.

  Yin Xu Dong however, strangely felt a little nervous all of a sudden. He raised his hands to greet the girls stiffly. “Hi! Liu Ting.” After that, he immediately lowered his head and quickly muttered beside Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s ears secretly: “She’s the belle of the Nursing Department; she’d confessed to me before.”

  Chapter 58 - Let’s Date

  * * *

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan looked at him blandly. He quickly added another sentence lowly: “I rejected her! Really!”

  By then, Liu Ting had already walked over to where they were. Blinking her glassy, big eyes, she stared at Zhuo Xiao Xuan in curiosity, smiling sweetly. “Hello, I’m Liu Ting, Xu Dong’s classmate.”

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s eyes squinted. “Yin Xu Dong, what’s your major?”

  “…Clinical Medicine. Uh, Liu Ting, we’re schoolmates at max, not classmates.” Yin Xu Dong spoke forcibly out of righteousness to Liu Ting.

  Liu Ting stamped her foot, displeased: “You’re so bad, how can you say that, we’re still considered classmates even if we are in the same class aren’t we?”

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan suddenly felt a tinge of chill seeping into her body even in the slight stifle of the warm October. Yin Xu Dong froze at her words, his lips twitching. “If there’s nothing else, we’re going first.” He really didn’t have much to say to this delicate girl.

  “Hold on!” Liu Ting started at Yin Xu Dong who was going to tug at Zhuo Xiao Xuan to leave together.

  Standing by, Zhuo Xiao Xuan crossed her arms, looked at the pink-faced, misty-eyed Liu Ting, then looked at Yin Xu Dong who was wearing a helpless expression, before settling on being an onlooker and spectating how Yin Xu Dong was going to settle this.

  Yin Xu Dong asked impatiently: “What is it, hurry speak.”

  At hearing the tone in which Yin Xu Dong spoke in, Liu Ting eyes immediately reddened. She sobbed: “I like you. Even if she’s your girlfriend, I don’t care, I still like you! I won’t give up! I’m prettier than her, richer than her, my dad’s the chief of X Military Hospital, and didn’t you obviously like me too? Can you break up with her? I’ll be really really good to you!” When her friend beside her saw her breaking down, she immediately went up to comfort her. As she did so, she slanted a few glares at the innocent Zhuo Xiao Xuan. Pity Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s gaze wasn’t that of innocence, rather, it glinted with a little murderous aura. The girl upon seeing that immediately retracted her gaze and instead comforted Liu Ting softly.

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan frowned. What’s this girl trying to do? Pester and harass Yin Xu Dong into date her? She squinted her eyes. Should she find somewhere to finish off this woman? She could guarantee that even if Conan came, he won’t be able to figure out that the killer was her.

  “Are you that bored? Like whoever you want, it’s none of my business!” This was the first time Yin Xu Dong felt that being stubbornly liked by someone was such a headache-inducing problem. “Xuan Xuan, let’s go, just ignore her.”

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan after being pulled a few steps by Yin Xu Dong, she stopped and turned back to look at the Liu Ting who was gazing at them, teary-eyed. Revealing her pearly whites, Zhuo Xiao Xuan dragged a slow finger across her neck. Only when Liu Ting and her friend shiver in fright did she continue leaving with Yin Xu Dong, satisfied.

  “She said, you obviously liked her?”

  “Cough cough! Nothing, nothing of that sort!” Yin Xu Dong choked on his saliva.

  “Enh?”

  “All I did was to help her pick up her cap. I swear, I didn’t mean anything else! If I knew she’d be like this, I’d have just thrown her cap into the bin!”

  “Enh, don’t randomly pick up other people’s things next time.”

  “…got it.”

  After bringing Zhuo Xiao Xuan around campus, they stopped by the side of a lake. The trees grown on the side of the grassy ground was so densely lush it could obstruct one’s view of the scenery beneath the trees if they stood just a little further away.

  Zhuo Xiao Xuan pointed out: “We’ve already passed by here.”

  Yin Xu Dong brought the bag of snacks they bought from the small supermarket in their school and sat on the grass. “Let’s sit for a bit, there’s isn’t a lot of people around. You hungry? Come eat something.”

  After filling their stomachs, they lied on the grass to rest. Yin Xu Dong lied beside Zhuo Xiao Xuan, a hand playing with her hand he was holding. “Xuan Xuan?”

  “Enh?”

  “Is this considered a date?” Yin Xu Dong secretly peeked at Zhuo Xiao Xuan who had her eyes closed leisurely.

  “What do you think?”

  “Oh, I think it is!” Yin Xu Dong replied earnestly, flipping around to lie on his stomach beside her as he rested his chin on his palms.

  “If you think it is, then it is.”

  Having long prepared himself to be rejected by her, he’d never thought that things would turn out opposite from his imagination. Hence, Zhuo Xiao Xuan’s reply was so surpris
ing Yin Xu Dong was stunned frozen.

  When Zhuo Xiao Xuan waited for a long while but failed to hear a reply, she was greeted by a dumbfounded Yin Xu Dong when her eyes flickered open. Was her answer very incorrect? She coughed lightly to awaken the paralysed Yin Xu Dong.

  Yin Xu Dong suddenly lunged over to hug her, rubbing his face against hers. “Awesome! Awesome! I…”

  “There! The two students there! Why are the two of you doing?!” A voice suddenly sounded; it was the patrolling teacher who had passed by the lake. What nerve the guy had to press a girl under him in the broad daylight, just how completely did the disregard the school rules?! The students would become even more brazen and recalcitrant if he doesn’t give them a good punishment this time!

  “Shit! Xuan Xuan, hurry run!” Yin Xu Dong quickly got up, pulled Xuan Xuan with him and started running. Military schools strictly prohibited their students from dating. They had to be secretive if they wanted to date, they’d be severely punished and be reprimanded in front of the entire school if caught otherwise.

  When they chatted with their seniors about dating and the likes, the seniors’ replies to their confusion about not seeing couples appearing by the very date-appropriate lakeside was: are you stupid! If you guys know that the little grove there’s the best place to date, you think the teachers won’t know? The teachers have especially planted themselves there to engage in the great and praiseworthy act of breaking up their dates! And so with the passage of time, nobody goes there to date anymore, only the rookie freshies would plop over there to cosplay mandarin ducks*.

  * 鸳鸯 = yuan yang; mandarin ducks, also a symbol of couple/lovers

  Some were dissatisfied and muttered: look at the number of victimised juniors cuz y’all seniors didn’t teach us any of the tricks up your sleeves.