Julie Seedorf - Fuchsia Minnesota 02 - Granny Skewers a Scoundrel

by Julie Seedorf

  Before Granny started climbing the ladder, she happened to glance to the other end of the room and she saw an open space to what seemed to be a tunnel. The noises from the motors appeared to be a sophisticated ventilation system and it was running through the tunnel.

  Her hands were on the ladder to start her climb when she looked up. Mr. Bleaty and Baskerville were no longer there. A little chill went through her bones. She knew it was the chill of trepidation because it was hot, hot, hot. The heating system had to be turned way up. She shook off the chill and raised a foot to take the first step when the lid of the cistern slammed down. She was still looking at the closed lid when the lights flickered and died.

  Her hands on the ladder tightened; she clutched the cane that was plastered with her right hand to the side of the ladder. Granny’s head did not move. Her eyes darted from side to side as she realized her dilemma. The chill was back. Granny stayed in that posture for a few seconds before she remembered something her mother always said, “When you’re dead, you’re dead, think of something to put on your tombstone that you want to be read.”

  Granny thought about her mother’s words of wisdom and her tombstone and decided she wasn’t quite ready for her epitaph yet. Holding her cane tightly with her right hand, she took her foot off of the ladder. She took the cell phone she had stowed back in her pocket before stepping on the ladder and turned on the flash light and turned the beam of light on the curved opening that she had noticed at the other end of the room that appeared to open to a tunnel. She flicked the rubber off the end of the cane and prepared to meet whatever lay ahead for her in the tunnel. It must be another way out.

  Since the room stretched the entire length of the back yard and the cistern entrance had been close to the garage it only seemed reasonable that Granny had checked the part of the room toward the house. Making her way the short distance to the door-like opening in the wall in the dark wasn’t too difficult until she got close to the generators running the ventilation system. Even with her cell phone flash light and cane to guide her, it was hard to wind her way through the plants to get to the door in the dark.

  She was almost to the door when she tripped on something on the floor near the door. She heard what sounded like a groan as she came tumbling down on top of something that felt human. Granny scrambled to get back up, a little frightened––although if asked, she would never admit it. Flashlight and cane still in hand, she shone the flashlight on the lump she had fallen over. The lump groaned again. It was hard to hear next to the generator which was next to the lump. Granny jumped back in surprise. It was Neil Nail trussed up like a chicken going to slaughter. There was duct tape over his mouth.

  Cautiously, Granny leaned down and pulled the duct tape off of Neil’s mouth.

  “Neil, how did you get down here? They have been looking all over for you?”

  “Neil licked his lips where the duct tape had been stuck. “Untie me, Granny, we have to get out of here before they come back. I’ll explain later.”

  Granny gave him a soft poke with the pointed end of her cane. “Not so fast; I wasn’t born yesterday, you know––maybe the day before, but not yesterday. I’m not letting you loose until you tell me why you tried to poison me and why you burned down my garage.”

  “Granny, there is no time. I didn’t do any of those things. At least untie my feet. We have to go. They are going to be coming back.”

  “Who are they?” Granny asked with a jab. At that moment, they heard the lid on the cistern trying to be lifted. “Neil Nail, I know you’re not in this alone. I’m going to untie your feet and I’ll help you up. We’ll go and get help. But one try at a getaway and this giant needle will knit you right to the ground. Got it?” Granny warned in a tough voice, not letting on that perhaps she wanted to use her red sparkly running shoes to run down the tunnel and leave him behind.

  They heard another clunk from up above. Granny, not knowing who it might be, untied Neil’s feet and using her cane for leverage helped him to his feet. Shining her flashlight into the tunnel, Granny positioned Neil ahead of her by sliding the needle between his elbow and the side of his body of his tied arms.

  Slowly and quietly, they started making their way through the tunnel. Granny whispered to Neil, “Do you know where this goes?”

  “Yes,” Neil whispered back, “It comes out on some private property on Bluebird Lake.”

  “Why does no one know about this?” Granny asked.

  “Because there are ‘No Trespassing” signs on this side of the lake and it is well hidden with trees and wild grass and growth. No one comes on the property because of the signs. And in Fuchsia, no one thinks that is strange and so they forgot about this property on this side of the lake. There is a little back road that leads to another back road. There are gates hidden in the woods so no one can use the road and it is well disguised from the other back road. That is how they get the merchandise out of here.”

  “This tunnel has to be long. It is at least a mile or two across the field from Sally’s house to the lake.”

  Neil and Granny kept on walking in silence, listening for any sound behind them. They could see some light starting to appear in front of them. They were reaching the end of the tunnel.

  “As soon as I can get some cell coverage, I’ll call the Big Guy,” Granny informed Neil as they were almost to the light. Neal was about to say something when they saw a large figure standing at the end of the tunnel.

  When Granny saw who it was she exclaimed, “How did you find us? I was just going to call you for help. You should have never took my alarm from me!”

  Neil, when he saw who it was, started to dive for the floor almost taking Granny with him. While Neil was diving for the ground, the knitting needle took a downward slant and slid from between his arm and side, leaving Granny holding the giant knitting needle.

  “You found him!” the Big Guy exclaimed. “I got a tip that he might be hidden in this tunnel from the property owner, who said there had been people trespassing on his property. When you gave me the dried plant from Sally’s pocket, I thought there might be a connection. I was right. Franklin did some research for me and found out about the tornado shelters in both houses. Neil, here has been using them for his pot growing operation.”

  The Big Guy moved forward.

  “Granny, run! Don’t believe him! He killed my father! He killed Sally, he killed Esmeralda, and he’s going to kill you and me!” Neal yelled while trying to get up, but not being able to quite make it with his hands tied.

  At that moment, another figure appeared at the end of the tunnel. “I see you found her, Father,” said Elena to the Big Guy. She walked over to Neil and helped him up. “Honey, have you come to your senses yet?” She brushed Neil’s cheek with her lips. “We had a good deal going here. Don’t you see, we had to get rid of your father?”

  Granny’s grip tightened on her knitting needle cane. “You, Big Guy?” Granny asked in confusion and disappointment.

  “Sorry Granny,” replied the Big Guy. “I do like you but you are too nosy and too good at what you do, although most people wouldn’t guess that. I had a great operation going in this town until Sally found that weed and came to me with her suspicions. She finally guessed, after all these years, that the grass really was talking to her.” The Big Guy laughed. “From underground, that is, when we were taking care of our business.”

  “But Esmeralda?” Granny asked as she put the cell phone back in her pocket unnoticed and pressed the record button since there still was no cell signal. At least, after she was gone, maybe they would find her cell phone and know the truth. She had to buy some time to think of a way to get out of this, and she wanted to know the entire story before the epitaph was written on her tombstone.

  “Those two women would still be alive if they would have accepted my offer to buy Sally’s house and Neil’s offer to buy that Mrs. Periwinkle’s.” The hussy Elena chimed in.

  Granny glared at the woman standing next to the B
ig Guy. “You’re his daughter?”

  “I am. It’s a family business. When he moved to Fuchsia to take this job, he bought the land by the lake to expand our business operation,” Elena explained.

  “I didn’t know about the tunnels to the two properties until after I bought the property,” explained the Big Guy. “I was going to build some camouflaged buildings to hide the growing operation and then when I was scouting the property, I found one of the tunnels.”

  “Dad called me and I did some research on Sally’s property and talked to a son of the first property owner. This man was well into his 90’s but he told quite a story that had never been documented. It appears that in the middle 1800’s, these two properties––Sally’s and Esmeralda Periwinkle’s––were used in the Underground Railroad to hide slaves on their way to freedom in Canada.” The hussy looked at her dad when she finished speaking.

  He continued: “I found the other tunnel and followed both tunnels and found the huge rooms under the property. I had to tweak them a little and also cut a door utilizing the tornado shelters too. Sally and Esmeralda had no clue. Esmeralda didn’t spend much time in her yard and no one believed Sally about the grass talking because she was so ditzy.”

  Granny knew she had to keep them talking. Neil was also quiet, listening to what was being said. “You have electricity. It’s quite a setup.”

  “Took me a while to figure that out but it is quite the operation. But it’s time to quit talking.” The Big Guy lifted his arm to reveal a gun.

  At that moment, there was another burst of energy from behind the Big Guy. He stood his ground but the hussy turned around to see what was happening. She too had pulled a gun.

  The shysters ran into the tunnel, barking and meowing and following them was Angel.

  Granny’s heart almost jumped out of her chest. She moved quickly and grabbed Angel. “Sweetie, what are you doing here?” she asked while keeping an eye on the Big Guy, his daughter and their guns.

  “I followed my pets. We were playing and then I got losted following them and I got scared. But I kept following them cause I didn’t want them to get losted.” Angel looked up at the Big Guy. “It’s not nice to point play guns at people. My mommy told me that.”

  Granny bent down to talk to Angel. “Honey I think it’s time you go and take the shysters with you.”

  “I don’t think so,” the Big Guy remarked.

  Granny looked up at the Big Guy with a withering look. She tightened her hold on her cane. As she used her cane to stand up, she took Angel’s hand. Keeping her eye on the Big Guy and his daughter, Granny led Angel over to the side of the tunnel. In a loud voice, she said to Angel. “Sit down, honey.” Granny called to the Shysters, “Fish, Little White Poodle, Furball, Tank, come here and sit by Angel.”

  The shysters actually listened. When they got over by Angel, Granny picked them up one by one and positioned them so they were covering Angel. Granny leaned down to kiss Angel on the cheek. As she did this, she whispered in Angel’s ear, “Don’t be scared but when you hear me yell ‘run,’ you and the shysters run out the entrance where you came in. Don’t quit running until you find Franklin. Do you understand?” She stood back up and walked back to confront the Big Guy, standing next to Neil Nail.

  “How are you going to get out of this, Cornelius? Killing an old woman, and a child?”

  “First, lay the knitting needle down nice and slow, Granny. I don’t need a hole in my heart.” He and Elena both trained their guns on Granny.

  “I am an old lady, Big Guy. I couldn’t poke a flea with this. I pick up papers with the end. You know that; you’ve seen me,” Granny said in a helpless voice trying to buy time.

  “Down, Granny, or you will be seeing stars before you get the story and I am sure you want to know everything before you enjoy your rest in the Fuchsia Cemetery.”

  Granny, looking back at Angel and winking at Neil, gently put the cane down by her feet.

  “I didn’t kill you Granny, Neil did. Then he had such remorse for killing Sally, Esmeralda and his father and murdering you and setting the fires that he couldn’t live with himself anymore and so he had to have some lavender tea to end it all,” The Big Guy continued on. “It’s such a great plan, Granny, and I have to thank you for solving my dilemma on how this was all going to end.”

  “Me?” Granny questioned. She turned and looked Neil straight in the eye and winked at him so the Big Guy couldn’t see.

  “I’m looking for a missing child. She is going to stay missing. Elena is going to leave and raise Angel now that those animals of yours got her involved in this. I don’t kill kids. In fact, I have always wanted a granddaughter. She’ll adjust.”

  “How does this explain the rest of the mess you’re leaving behind?”

  “I was looking for Angel and I stumbled upon these tunnels and Neil’s pot growing operation. I found him and you. So sad. I got here too late. The fact that I found this on my land was just too much for me. I am going to have to move away from Fuchsia. The shock was just too much for me. I’ll figure out a way for all to believe that Angel is dead too. A terrible accident in the marsh and her body can’t be recovered. That’s it, Granny. It’s time. Gently lay it down on the ground. Do you have your epitaph written? You’re going to need it.”

  The hussy who had been listening to all of this, moved forward right as the Big Guy raised his gun. “Wait, I ain’t raisin’ no kid. We need to rethink this.” In her exasperation and her anxiety about what she had just heard, Elena stomped up to her father and stood in front of him. At that moment, there was a noise from the tunnel behind them.

  “No, no! You can’t shoot, you can’t shoot! I won’t let you!” At that moment, Mavis came running out of the tunnel brandishing a large stick. Neil took the surprise interruption and threw himself down, still with his hands tied, onto Elena, who toppled into her father knocking him to the ground. Granny swiftly bent down and grabbed her knitting needle cane as she yelled “Run, Angel, run!”

  Angel and the shysters ran past the struggling group and out the entrance.

  Granny took her knitting needle and stood on top of the Big Guy with her little body and pointed the knitting needle at his chest putting just enough pressure on the needle to go through his shirt and puncture his skin, holding it there so there was no doubt that Granny would skewer him to the ground if he moved.

  “Mavis, I don’t know why you’re here but call Franklin and the police.”

  “She doesn’t have to. We’re here!”

  Granny looked up to the see Franklin, Thor and the Fuchsia Police Department coming through the entrance to the cave.

  “Angel’s out there,” Granny told Franklin still holding her needle to the Big Guy’s chest.

  “We have her, Hermiony. We’ll take over, back off, slowly,” said Franklin.

  Thor reached down and grabbed the Big Guy and helped him up. He handcuffed the Big Guy’s hands behind his back. “You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” Thor continued to recite the rights to the Big Guy as he led him out of the tunnel.

  The policemen led the hussy and Neil Nail out behind Thor and the Big Guy.

  Franklin walked over to Granny, looked her in the eye and then put his arms around her and pulled her into a big bear hug. “Woman, you are the most infuriating person I have met since my mother walked this earth. I don’t know whether to shake you, lock you away or kiss you.” With that he grabbed Granny and gave her a long kiss.

  Shocked, Granny grabbed Franklin’s arm for support when the kiss ended. She turned to Mavis who was standing, watching with her mouth wide open. “Mavis, how did you get involved in this?”

  “I was supposed to watch you but I knew you would try and give me the slip, so I sent George out of town to his sons and I turned out my lights. I watched as you snuck into Sally’s yard and as you found where the light was coming from. I tried calling Franklin and Thor b
ut they wouldn’t pick up so I left them a message.”

  “There was something moving in your house in the dark; I wasn’t imagining it.” Granny exclaimed.

  “No, you almost saw me. When I saw that Baskerville and Mr. Bleaty accidently shut the cover on the Cistern and I couldn’t reach Thor or Franklin by phone, I decided you might need help. I saw that the cistern cover was activated by the pump. I opened the cover door, grabbed a big stick and climbed down. I used my cell phone as a flash light. I could hear voices in the tunnel and as I got closer, I turned off my flashlight. I heard everything.”

  “Well you came out at the right time,” Granny remarked. “It gave us the chance to get Angel out of here.”

  “I didn’t even think. He was going to kill you. No one does that to my best friend.”

  Granny raised her eyebrows at the words best friend. She walked over to Mavis and took her hand. “Come on, Mavis, time to get you to your pretend reality show. It must be running late.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Once back at her house, Franklin settled Granny in her easy chair and got her a big bowl of ice cream and topped it off with a donut and a cup of hot cocoa which wasn’t Granny’s usual late night drink, but she didn’t think she should complain. Her epitaph was going to wait awhile, although when her daughters got wind of this, perhaps it would have been easier having to change her residence to the Fuchsia cemetery rather than seeing what her daughters might have in store for her.

  The shysters were back home too after leading Angel on a wild adventure that worried everyone in Fuchsia who had been looking for her. Angel was at home with her mother and tucked into bed for the night after relating her exciting adventure to her mother. Instead of fear, she was exuberant with excitement over having helped catch a crook.