After Hours: Tales From Ur-Bar

by Joshua Palmatier; Patricia Bray

  “Stinking zombie,” he said with a sneer.

  The stranger shook his head, still holding up the stone tablet. “Just another of your stereotypes, I’m afraid.” He stood, taking the tablet away from Billy, and flung him back.

  Billy crashed against a stack of barrels, his mind fighting to make sense of everything going on. “But ... but . . . the zombies can’t talk, and. . . .”

  Billy fought to find words, but nothing more came to him and a second later, it really didn’t matter anyway. The stranger adjusted the tablet in both of his hands, flipping it around like it weighed nothing, and then slammed it down on Billy’s feet.

  Billy heard the sound of his toes crushing before pain shot up his legs. He went to scream, but the stranger grabbed up the apple off the dinner tray and slammed it into Billy’s mouth, knocking out two of his teeth in the process. Billy, dazed and in shock, slumped to the ground.

  “I’m capable of a lot of things you wouldn’t expect my kind to be able to do,” the stranger said, crouching down next to Billy and meeting his eyes. “As you’ve seen. But you’re quick to stereotype, aren’t you?”

  Billy shook his head in uncontrollable panic as the zombie musician stared down at him, examining him. He could taste the sweetness of the apple mixed with the saltiness of his own blood.

  “The world keeps on evolving,” the stranger continued, picking up the stone once again as if it were made of paper and replacing it on its stand, then walked back over to Billy. “I am a product of that evolution, friend. I don’t quite understand why I’m not like the rest of those zombies out in the Wastes, but I have a theory. They say a musician’s got music in his soul. They also say that ‘music doth have charms to soothe the savage beasts,’ so maybe that helps even me out. I’m not sure exactly. Either way, I’m still human enough to walk both worlds, even if it does take a bit of makeup to cover up the gray to accomplish it. I’ve evolved, but fat, greedy you hasn’t, have you? No. You just stay the same.” The stranger stood up and kicked Billy’s already broken toes.

  Pain shot straight to the core of Billy’s brain and he screamed again, the sound muffled by the apple.

  “Shh,” the stranger said. “We can’t have any of that now, can we? You know, there’s one stereotype that does hold true still about my kind ... you know, us brain munchers.” The stranger leaned down over Billy, grinning from ear to ear. “Your boss promised me a meal, but it wasn’t that tray of food I had in mind.”

  The stranger moved out of sight just above Billy’s line of vision, a strange and cooling sensation filling his brain as the sounds of slurping and crunching filled his ears. Bouncer Billy would have prayed, if he believed in that sort of thing, but he didn’t bother. He doubted that a God who had created these damned monstrosities in the first place was a God he wanted to meet, anyway. The only consolation was that the itch at the back of Billy’s brain all night was finally fading, along with everything else....

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  The only dog Barbara Ashford ever owned was a dachshund. He didn’t say much. After stumbling through several jobs in educational administration, she ran away to the theatre, working as an actress and later as a librettist/ lyricist. Her first trilogy was a finalist for the Mythopoeic Society’s award for fantasy literature. Her new novel—Spellcast—comes out in May 2011 and is set in a summer stock theatre far more magical than any she worked in. She credits her husband for inspiring “The Tale that Wagged the Dog” and for keeping her supplied with single malt whisky. Visit her at www.barbara-ashford.com.

  Patricia Bray originally intended to write a completely different story, but when she opened her word processor, she heard the voice of George Harker recounting his adventures and was compelled to record them. Drawing upon her knowledge of Georgian England and love of nineteenth century fiction, she’s fairly confident that George and his adventures are entirely the work of her imagination. Well, mostly confident. To find out what she’s up to now, visit her website at www.patriciabray.com.

  S.C. Butler is the author of the Stoneways Trilogy: Reiffen’s Choice, Queen Ferris, and The Magicians’ Daughter . A relative once complained to him about all the underage drinking in his books, but who ever drank the water in the Middle Ages? His favorite drink is a glass of Pinot Grigio, and his favorite place to drink it is the bar deck of the Lawrence Beach Club on a summer evening, with two hundred yards of sand and fifty miles of the Atlantic Ocean spread out before him.

  Jennifer Dunne is the author of over fourteen fantasy and paranormal romances. While traveling in Italy last year, she fell in love with Venice, and the more she read about the city, the more she wondered. Why would one of the two most powerful men in the world at the time sneak into Venice in disguise, only announcing that he had been there after he was gone? What was he really hoping to accomplish? And, because she believes in happy endings, of course in her story, he gets one.

  Laura Anne Gilman has a history of writing short stories that aren’t quite as-expected. This is nothing new: she wrote her first original novel, Staying Dead, when everyone said that urban fantasy was dead, and, in 2008 she wrote The Vineart War, an alternate-historical fantasy, when everyone was looking for urban fantasy. She thinks being contrary’s a pretty good way to build a career. It should be noted that, despite The Vineart War being about wine-magic, and despite the story being set in France, the story for this anthology does not reference wine, but rather a specifically evil sort of cocktail popular at the time . . . the author does not encourage consumption of more than three in an evening!

  D.B. Jackson also writes as David B. Coe, the Crawford Fantasy Award-winning author of the popular series The LonTobyn Chronicle, Winds of Forelands, and Blood of Southlands, as well as the novelization of Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood. The first D.B. Jackson novel, Thieftaker, will be released in 2012. It is a historical fantasy and mystery, which, like “The Tavern Fire,” is set in pre-Revolutionary Boston. D.B. likes any bar that serves dark ales on tap.

  Jackie Kessler writes about demons, angels, the hapless humans caught between them, superheroes, the supervillains who love to pound those heroes into pudding, vampires, ghosts, and the occasional Horseman of the Apocalypse. Her favorite drinks include a semi-dry Riesling and, when at conventions, rum and Diet Coke. When beer is the thing, her favorite bar is the Peculier Pub on Bleeker Street in New York City. For wine, it’s got to be The Wine Bar in Saratoga Springs, NY. For more about Jackie, visit her website: www.jackiekessler.com.

  Seanan McGuire was born and raised in Northern California, which explains a lot about her approach to venomous reptiles and the concept of “weather.” She’s been writing since she was nine, driving everyone around her crazy; her first book, Rosemary and Rue, came out from DAW in September 2009. More have followed. Seanan lives with two blue cats (Siamese and Maine Coon), too many books, and a great many horror movies. Her favorite drink is the Corpse Reviver #2: gin, Cointreau, Lillet blanc, lemon juice, absinthe, a cherry, and defiance of nature’s laws. Delicious, delicious defiance. Seanan doesn’t sleep much.

  Juliet E. McKenna has always been fascinated by myth and history, other worlds and other peoples. After studying classical history and literature at St Hilda’s, Oxford, she worked in personnel management before a career change to combine book-selling and motherhood. Her first novel, The Thief’s Gamble, was published in 1999. That series, the Tales of Einarinn, was followed by The Aldabreshin Compass sequence and her current trilogy, The Chronicles of the Lescari Revolution. Living in the Cotswolds of England she is lucky enough to have the Wychwood Brewery within easy reach, home of Hobgoblin and Wychcraft beers.

  Avery Shade is an author of paranormal and urban fantasy of both the adult and young adult variety. Though grounded in a small upstate NY town, she lives vicariously through her stories. When not busy writing, she is probably off searching for the real meaning of life, the universe, and... well... everything. If you can track her down (try her website: www.averyshade.com) you might offer
to go for drinks somewhere. She’s all too eager for a bit of escapism. Maybe one of these times she’ll find the Ur-Bar and Gil will mix her a drink that can give her some more time.

  Maria V. Snyder switched careers from meteorologist to fantasy novelist when she began writing The New York Times bestselling Study series (Poison Study, Magic Study, and Fire Study) about a young woman who becomes a poison taster. Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Maria dreamed of chasing tornados, but lacked the skills to forecast their location. Writing, however, lets Maria control the weather which she does in her new Glass series (Storm Glass, Sea Glass, and Spy Glass). Readers are invited to kick back with her favorite drink, a Long Island Iced Tea, and read more short stories on her website at www.MariaVSnyder.com.

  Kari Sperring grew up dreaming of joining the musketeers and saving France, only to discover that the company had been disbanded in 1776. Disappointed, she became a historian instead and as Kari Maund has written and published five books and co-authored (with Phil Nanson) a book on the history and real people behind her favourite novel, The Three Musketeers. Her first novel Living with Ghosts was published in 2009 by DAW books and she has recently completed her second. “The Fortune-Teller Makes Her Will” was inspired by the Poisons’ Affair that rocked the French Court in the 1670s and by a beautiful named pair of earrings by jeweler Elise Matheson. She’s British and lives in Cambridge, England, with her partner Phil and three very determined cats, who guarantee that everything she writes will have been thoroughly sat upon. Her website can be found at www.karisperring.com.

  Anton Strout remembers his early days of barhopping in New York City, making The Slaughtered Lamb an old favorite of his thanks to the drinks, dungeon, life-sized werewolves and fake lightning storms. He is best known as the author of the Simon Canderous urban fantasy series including Dead To Me, Deader Still, Dead Matter , and Dead Waters. He has also appeared in a variety of anthologies. In his scant spare time, he is an always writer, sometimes actor, sometimes musician, occasional RPGer, and the world’s most casual and controllersmashing video gamer. He can be found lurking the darkened hallways of www.antonstrout.com.

  Benjamin Tate was born in North-Central Pennsylvania and is currently a professor living near Endicott, NY, teaching at a local college. He began writing seriously in graduate school, using the fantasy world of his novel Well of Sorrows as an escape from the stress. His goals in life are to travel Europe, sail the Mediterranean, visit Australia, and preside over a small kingdom from a castle on a hill while occasionally bombarding the villagers below with catapult fire. His favorite drink is a White Russian—preferably with top shelf vodka. www.benjamintate.com.

  Ian Tregillis is the son of a bearded mountebank and a discredited tarot card reader. He is the author of Bitter Seeds, The Coldest War, and Necessary Evil. He received a doctorate in physics from the University of Minnesota, but now lives in New Mexico, where he consorts with writers, scientists, and other unsavory types. His favorite holiday drink comes from a one hundred fifty-year old recipe for eggnog. www.iantregillis.com

  ABOUT THE EDITORS

  Patricia Bray is the author of a dozen novels, including Devlin’s Luck, which won the 2003 Compton Crook award for the best first novel in the field of science fiction or fantasy. A well-spent youth taught her that the best accompaniment to a fine ale is an equally wellcrafted story, a lesson that she drew on for her first foray on the editorial side of the fence. She currently lives in upstate New York, where she combines her writing with a full-time career as Systems Analyst, ensuring that she is never more than a few feet away from a keyboard. To find out more, visit her website at www.patriciabray.com.

  Joshua Palmatier is a writer with a PhD in mathematics. He currently resides in New York while teaching mathematics full-time at SUNY College at Oneonta. His novels include The Skewed Throne, The Cracked Throne, and The Vacant Throne, all part of the Throne of Amenkor trilogy. His short story “Mastihooba” appeared in the anthology Close Encounters of the Urban Kind. This is his first stab at being an editor and it required the consumption of many, many White Russians. But he’ll do it again given the chance. www.joshuapalmatier.com.

  Also Available from DAW Books:

  Boondocks Fantasy, edited by Jean Rabe and Martin H. Greenberg Urban fantasy is popular, but what if you took that modern fantasy and moved it to the “sticks,” with no big city in sight? Trailer parks, fishing shacks, sleepy little towns, or specks on the map so small that if you blink while driving through you’ll miss them. Vampires, wizards, aliens, and elves might be tired of all that urban sprawl and prefer a spot in the country—someplace where they can truly be themselves without worrying about what the neighbors think! With stories by tale-spinners such as Gene Wolfe, Timothy Zahn, Mickey Zucker Reichert, Anton Strout, Linda P. Baker and others.

  Love and Rockets, edited by Martin H. Greenberg and Kerrie Hughes An original collection of thirteen space opera adventures by authors such as Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Jay Lake, Steven H. Silver, Dean Wesley Smith, Jody Lynn Nye, Tim Waggoner, and Kristine Kathryn Rusch, among others, which explore the directions romantic relationships may take when set in such unique environments as spaceships, space stations, or planetary colonies. The relationships may be between humans or alien/human couples or even between humans and AIs. And no matter how far men, women, and extraterrestrials go in the universe, whether love is found on a distant planet or among the stars, just like in real life, a happy ending is never guaranteed.

  Zombiesque, edited by Stephen L. Antczak, James C. Bassett, and Martin H. Greenberg

  Zombies have long stalked and staggered through the darkest depths of human imagination, pandering to our fears about death and what lies beyond. But must zombies always be just shambling, brain-obsessed ghouls? If zombies actually maintained some level of personality and intelligence, what would they want more than anything? Could zombies integrate themselves into society? Could society accept zombies? What if a zombie fell in love? These are just some of the questions explored in original stories by Seanan McGuire, Nancy A. Collins, Tim Waggoner, Richard Lee Byers, Jim C. Hines, Jean Rabe, and Del Stone Jr. with others. Here’s your chance to take a walk on the undead side in these unforgettable tales told from a zombie’s point of view.

  Steampunk’d, edited by Jean Rabe and Martin H. Greenberg

  Science fiction is the literature of what if, and steampunk takes the what if along a particular time stream. What if steam power was the prime force in the Victorian era? How would that era change, and how would it change the future? From a Franco-British race for Kentucky coal to one woman’s determination to let no man come between her and her inventions ... from “machine whisperers” to a Thomas Edison experiment gone awry, here are fourteen original tales of what might have been had steam powered the world in an earlier age, from Michael A. Stackpole, Donald J. Bingle, Robert Vardeman, Paul Genesse, Jody Lynn Nye, and others.