The Heart of a Fox

by T. Isilwath

  She looked around the hollow, squinting in the darkness, and he casually called up a ball of foxfire to light the small area.

  “Thank you,” she said gratefully, then crawled from the blankets to rummage around in her belongings. He shivered because he missed her warmth, and his smile faltered a little bit.

  “We only have a few hours,” she told him, returning to his side with one of the tallow lamps and a stack of books. He recognized them as her two books about Japan, her dictionary, and her personal journal.

  “Here, take these. You know how to read English well enough,” she said, handing him the dictionary and the travel books.

  He accepted the books happily as she lit the lamp so he could extinguish his foxfire. In truth, he was hoping she would leave them with him as proof that what he said was true. “Thank you, Joanna-sama. These will help me greatly.”

  “Well, that’s not all I’m giving you,” she answered, opening her journal and pulling out one of her clever writing instruments called a pen.

  “Okay, we’re not sure what year it is in my calendar, but I do know the dates of a few important events. The most important, and the one that will probably happen first, is Oda Nobunaga,” she continued.

  “Oda is a proud clan in Owari,” he said.

  “Yes, and he’ll come out of Owari leading a great army.” She grabbed one of her Japan books and flipped through it. “Okay, here it is. He takes over Kyoto and installs Ashikaga Yoshiaki as Shogun in 1568, but Yoshiaki con-spires against him, so he defeats Yoshiaki in 1573 and sends him into exile.

  Two years before that, in 1571, he defeats the warrior monks at Mt. Hiei.” He blinked, not certain he had heard her correctly. “He does what?”

  “He defeats the monks at Mt. Hiei. Kills thousands of them in a massive siege.”

  “Let me see that,” he demanded, reaching for the book. She handed it to him, and he propped himself on one arm, heedless of his nakedness, as he read the passages for himself. Even as the words glared out at him, he still could not believe what he was reading.

  “Akihiro, what’s wrong?”

  “These monks are the ones who killed my father,” he replied.

  She gasped. “Oh my God. Aki, I forgot. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I am glad that they will be defeated. Too many have been afraid of them for far too long. They have gained too much power, and they do not use it wisely.”

  “No. They’re very corrupt,” she agreed, stroking his arm comfortingly.

  “My father was a great kitsune. He offered no trouble to the humans living in my grandfather’s lands. He kept out the carrion eaters and helped where he could. He was a good kitsune. My mother said that Inari favored him because he took care of the land and watched over the people. But none of that mattered to the monks of Mt. Hiei. They hunted him down and killed him anyway. I’ve lived in fear of them my whole life. You have no idea how happy I am to know that soon they will be the ones who are afraid.” She reached over and placed her hand over his, offering him an understanding smile. “And that is when you begin counting. When Oda Nobunaga comes out of Owari, and leads an army to Kyoto, that is when you start counting. When Ashikaga Yoshiaki is installed as Shogun, it is 1568. When the monks fall, it is 1571. Those are your marker years.” He nodded. “Yes. Then I will know where I am in your calendar.”

  “From there, you start counting up to 2012.”

  “444 years,” he stated, doing the math quickly. “An auspicious number.” She smiled, then her smile faded and sadness came into her eyes. “And a very long time.”

  He took her hands and raised them to his lips. “But not for you, my vixen. For you it will only be a matter of days until I see you again.” His words did not seem to comfort her. “But I will have known nothing of the waiting…”

  He held her hands close to his heart, letting her feel it beating and hoping she could sense its strength. “Kitsune can live many hundreds of years, thousands of years, my vixen. I know I am only half-kitsune, but my lifespan will be very long-long enough for me to find you again.”

  “But won’t you be old? Will we find each other in the winter of your life?” He shook his head. “No. We will have all the time in the world, my vixen, I promise,” he vowed, stroking her cheek lovingly. “But you are right, we don’t have much time now, and you have four hundred years of history to teach me.” She took a deep breath and nodded. “Right. Okay… so you know about Oda Nobunaga. The rest of Japanese history, or a brief summary of it at least, is in the books I’m leaving with you. Possibly the most important event in them is the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. You have to be out of Japan well before then, Aki. You don’t want to be here when the bombs drop.”

  “Bombs?”

  “Think of huge balls of foxfire with the power to cremate bodies immediately and poison the earth for many years. Two of these Atomic Bombs will be unleashed on Japan,” she explained.

  He gasped in horror. “Why?”

  “Because there will be a great war, a world war, and it will bring terrible suffering to millions of people…”

  And so she began to tell him, to teach him, everything she knew. She wrote everything down in her journal, making notations of where to be, what to do, what to look for. She gave him insights on other countries and wars, and who the winners of the conflicts were and why. She taught him about the democratic system of government (an interesting idea), and the rise of the world Super Powers. She taught him about who was famous, who was wealthy, who was powerful. She taught him about the changes that were coming, and all the discoveries of science and medicine. Then she taught him about business and investment, where to put his money, and a place called The Stock Market.

  “All of this will make more sense to you as you live through it, Aki. Just remember what I’m telling you, and you’ll understand when the time comes,” she assured him when it was obvious that his head was spinning.

  “I hope so, Joanna-sama. There’s so much…”

  “I know. I know,” she agreed breathlessly, scribbling something down in her book. She was writing very small because she was running out of pages.

  “Okay, Macintosh… Apple Corp and Steve Jobs. Apple does well in the beginning, then it falters, but it comes back strong the first decade of the 21st century. Microsoft and Bill Gates. Invest in Microsoft as a start-up company, that’ll make you a fortune by itself. There will be a financial analyst named Warren Buffett. Invest with him. He’s made lots of people millionaires.” He shook his head, flabbergasted. “I have no idea what you are talking about Joanna-sama.”

  “It’s okay. Like I said, it’ll make sense to you later.”

  “I can only trust in your word, Joanna-sama, for it makes no sense now.”

  “Whatever you do, don’t get on a plane in Boston or go to New York City on September 11, 2001,” she said grimly.

  “The day your family was killed,” he whispered sadly.

  “Yes.”

  He placed a hand over hers and forced her to look at him. “I can stop it. I know the future. I can make this terrible thing never happen.” She smiled at him, her lips trembling as she took his hand and kissed his fingers. “Then you and I will never meet, my fox. Without the death of my family, I would never have moved to North Carolina or enrolled in the research program for the Gates.”

  “Then I will meet you in California, on your beach. We will watch your brother… What is it that he loved to do?... surf?” Tears leaked from her eyes and he could see the hope on her face, but then she shook her head.

  “No, my fox. Without the Iraq War, the military would never develop the technology that created the Gates, and I would never have been thrown back in time to meet you. Believe me, I have thought a great deal about this. I couldn’t change the past without sacrificing the future. That’s why I was willing to stay here, and die here, in this time.”

  He grabbed her hands and held them between his own. “I will do whatever I can to save your family,
Joanna-sama. This I swear.”

  “I know you will, Aki. Thank you.”

  She didn’t believe him, he knew she didn’t. “You doubt me?” She sighed and lowered her eyes. “All of this… Aki, I’m here. That means all of it has already happened. It’s the paradox of time travel. You can’t really change history. Too much can go wrong.”

  “But if all I do is make sure that your family stays safe, then history will not really be changed,” he argued, but realized it was the wrong thing to say.

  “So the other three thousand people who died that day are less deserving of life than my family?” she countered, a horrified look on her face.

  “No! That’s not what I meant at all!” he insisted, frustrated and flustered.

  She softened and pulled one hand from his grasp so she could stroke his cheek. “I know what you meant, Akihiro, and I’m grateful for it. And I could waste hours trying to explain it all to you, but it’s not time we have to spare. It will be dawn before too long, and there’s still so much I have to tell you.” She was right. Dawn was quickly approaching.

  “Besides, I don’t want to spend my last few hours with you arguing.”

  “With me in my time,” he corrected gently.

  “With you in your time,” she agreed and smiled. “Soon I’ll be showing you all the wonders of my home... if you haven’t seen them already.”

  “I will save them for you to share with me.”

  “I’ll take you to the Nantahala National Forest. There’s a campsite by a waterfall that Michael and I used to go to…”

  She stopped, and he watched the play of emotions on her face turn from joy to deep despair.

  “Michael… I don’t know what I’m going to tell Michael,” she blurted.

  He reached for her, his heart fluttering in his chest with sudden fear. What if she said she could not leave her betrothed? “There are ways to… to make him understand. If he truly loves you as you say, he will want you to be happy.”

  “This will destroy him, I know it will. We’ve been each other’s whole world for eleven years. How can I hurt him like this? I love him, Aki. What am I going to do?”

  “Whatever we do, we will do it together, and we will make sure that Michael is all right,” he promised, wincing because he knew he meant it. Had he just agreed to spare his greatest rival? He only hoped he didn’t live to regret it.

  She gave him a relieved smile and nodded. “Yes. Together. We’ll do it together. Thank you, Akihiro.”

  “I would do anything for you, Joanna-sama. You know that.”

  “Even live more than four hundred years,” she said, then squeezed his arm.

  “Here, let’s get dressed and go out to the fire pit so we can brew some tea.” He didn’t really want to get dressed and leave the hollow. The small space was warm and cozy, and he liked seeing her smooth, naked skin. He had hoped to finish the lessons early enough for one last bout of pleasure sharing before she had to leave him. But she was already up and moving, covering her loveli-ness with clothes and looking at him over her shoulder when he did not follow.

  “Akihiro?”

  He sighed and reached for his kosode and nobakama field pants.

  Once out of the hollow, he started the fire while his vixen spread her blankets on the ground. The makings for tea were already next to the ring of stones that marked the boundary of the pit. The bag of maitake was there as well.

  “Here, Joanna-sama,” he said, offering her the bag. “These will help you.” She accepted the bag and peered into it, then she smiled and handed it back to him. “No, Aki. Those mushrooms are worth a fortune. Sell them and use the money to start building your wealth. Money will buy you safety in my time, but you will need lots of it.”

  “But I found them for you. They are yours,” he insisted.

  “And I give them to you. You need them more than I do. Where I am going there will be plenty of medicine for me. I don’t need the maitake. Use their value to help you survive.”

  He lowered his eyes, but accepted her decision.

  “Aki… I’m trying to help you as much as I can. Once I leave here, you’ll be on your own. I’m trying to give you as much of an advantage as I can possibly manage,” she explained gently.

  “I know, Joanna-sama. And it is a smart choice. But my heart still tells me they should be yours.”

  “I’d rather they help you find your way back to me,” she said, taking his face in her hands and pulling him close for a kiss.

  He moaned and pressed against her. “Joanna-sama.” She broke the kiss and he mourned the loss. He didn’t know if he could ever get enough of her wonderful taste.

  “C’mon, let’s work on that advantage, shall we?” she teased with a wink.

  He whined plaintively, but gave in as she picked up her journal again.

  “Okay… At the turn of the twentieth century, look to invest in steel, oil and automobiles, especially Ford...”

  He listened, trying to soak it all in and commit it to memory as she recited significant events and dates until his head spun. He was trying to sort it all out when he noticed that she’d fallen silent for a few moments. He looked at her and caught her staring at him.

  “What is it, Joanna-sama?”

  “Just that I love you so much, and I can’t believe this is happening.” He turned to her and reached for her hands again. “Believe it, Joanna-sama.

  You are going to live, and I am going to meet you in the future. I will use the knowledge you are giving me to help me survive until I can find you again.”

  “You will do it, won’t you? You will see me again? This won’t be the last time we’re together?” she pressed, her voice lost and solemn.

  He released her hands and cupped her face. “You will see me again, Joanna-sama. I promise you.”

  She sniffed and her eyes brimmed with tears, but none fell. Then she gave him a quick nod and turned to her journal. “Okay,” she said, wiping the tears away. “There’s still a few things I want to cover with you…” He remained her apt pupil for much of the remaining darkness. The fire burned low, and they engaged in one more bout of pleasure-sharing sometime before dawn. His vixen slept afterwards, but he remained awake, watching her sleep until he began to feel the coming daylight. Reluctantly, he woke her.

  “Joanna-sama. Joanna-sama?” he whispered, stroking her arm.

  “Mou,” she protested and rolled away from him.

  His heart ached, but he persisted. “Joanna-sama.” She groaned, but he saw her eyes flutter open. “Is it dawn?” He nodded. “Yes,” he replied, allowing the sadness to creep into his voice.

  She gave a grunt of acknowledgement and slowly disengaged herself from the blankets. He watched her, unable to tear his eyes away, as she dressed and ran her fingers through her hair. Only when she was fully clothed and packing up her things, did he get up and dress himself.

  Neither of them wanted to break the moment with words so they didn’t speak as they gathered her belongings and prepared to take them back to the soldiers’ camp. Silently, they rolled up the blankets and repacked her backpack, then he straightened the bent frame for her so it would strap properly, but he refused to let her carry anything because she was still so weak from her illness.

  They separated the items she had gathered while in the forest from the belongings she had brought with her, and she gave him everything that she did not need. She did, however, keep the bow and the two throwing daggers, and she allowed him to keep the Cherokee blanket shawl that he had come to love.

  “I will take the rest to the village,” he offered.

  “That’s a good idea,” she agreed, her voice subdued.

  Everything was packed and ready all too soon, and they faced the awkward reality that their time was now at an end. She turned to him, her face strained from the emotions she was struggling to contain, and handed him her journal.

  “Take this and keep it,” she said. “It has the notes I wrote last night.” He was shocked and his hands sho
ok as he accepted her gift. He had thought she would just rip out the pages she had written on, not give him the entire tome.

  “Joanna-sama…”

  “You can give it back to me when we see each other again,” she told him.

  He smiled and held the journal close to his heart. “I will keep it safe until I can return it to you. I promise.”

  She nodded and turned away, reaching for her guitar. He quickly gathered up the rest of her belongings, slipping the frame of the backpack over his shoulders and taking up her rolling suitcase. The only things she was carrying were Iris and a small case that contained something she had called a “smashed up laptop.” It was something that had been destroyed when she had arrived in his time, and it had been at the back of the hollow, useless and forgotten.

  He watched her place her hand on the trunk of the king tree and smile.

  “Thank you, tree-brother, for sheltering me and keeping me safe. Thank you, all of you, for the sanctuary you gave me,” she said fondly.

  :Happy to provide. Happy to share,: he heard the trees answer, and he felt their love and joy. It still amazed him that he could hear them at all.

  “C’mon, Aki. It’s time to go,” she told him, taking up her guitar and “laptop” again, and leading the way out of the sacred grove.

  He sighed, pushing down the howls that were building in his throat, and followed her. They walked most of the way to the clearing where her people were camped, then she stopped and told him to put her things down.

  “I’ll go get someone to help carry them to the camp. I don’t want you getting any closer to it than this. I have no idea what they might try to do, but I’m not taking any chances. Keep away and don’t let them see you,” she warned.

  He obeyed and placed her backpack and suitcase on the forest floor. Then they faced each other until she broke down and hugged him tightly.

  “Oh, Aki. I’m going to miss you so much.

  “I will see you soon, Joanna-sama. I promise.”

  She pulled back, wiping away tears, and smiled at him. “Thank you, Akihiro,” she told him, and he knew that she was thanking him for everything he had done for her, and for everything he had yet to do.