Playing by the Rules

by D'Ann Burrow

  “Not everyone has an obsessive need to check their phone 24 hours a day.” I answered more sharply than I intended. “My phone was off.”

  I didn’t add that since he hadn’t been speaking to me, I didn’t have anyone who was going to call me.

  Tanner looked stunned. “I figured Scarlett would have said something.”

  “Loretta took away her phone when she found out Scarlett’s failing English.”

  “That clears it up then. I couldn’t figure out why she hadn’t gotten here yet.” He craned his neck as another news van rumbled down the road and pointed as a reporter jumped out of the van. “Figured she wouldn’t want to miss the show.”

  “What’s going on?” It felt like I’d wandered into a show during the third act. I could feel the buzz of emotion surrounding me, but I didn’t know who the characters were, and I was missing out on the plot.

  “Stacia’s missing.” Tanner shoved his hands in his pockets, looking away from me while he took a breath. His lower lip shook while he stared into the thickening fog. “I heard one of the reporters saying that they think that guy’s got her.”

  “No. Not Stacia.” That made absolutely no sense. Even given the extra teachers outside the building, there wasn’t nearly enough activity surrounding the school for something like that.

  No police.

  No FBI.

  No specialists.

  “They have video of her at a gas station.” He could tell I was skeptical. “She was already in Louisiana. And she had a message on her computer’s chat from a guy saying he’d meet her last night.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked, but I didn’t need to. Deep in the pit of my stomach, I already knew the answer.

  “I’m not an idiot. I remember how you found Addy.”

  I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell him it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that easy. I wanted to say that I just couldn’t do it. But that would be a lie.

  And I still remembered the last rule. The one Tanner wrote for me.

  “I know you two didn’t really get along, but you’ve got to help her.” His eyes were begging me. “She doesn’t deserve this. He’s killed all of them, Kennedy.”

  I gave a quick nod, my stomach already pitching and rolling with the knowledge of what I was about to do. “Come on.”

  I led the way up the winding sidewalk toward the football bleachers. If my experience seeking out Addy taught me anything, doing this sitting down was better than trying to stay on my feet. My footsteps on the metal risers seem insanely loud, practically echoing in the dismal stillness. Thankfully, the hum of students mixed with teachers and reporters kept anyone from noticing that we’d climbed into the stands. We weren’t exactly supposed to be here.

  I sat down, the chill from the bench immediately soaking through my jeans. It wasn’t the most pleasant sensation, but it couldn’t be helped. I took a breath. Then another. When Tanner settled next to me, I felt a little better, even if I didn’t want to. We were still fighting. At least I thought we were.

  I closed my eyes while concentrating on Stacia. Her annoyingly high-pitched laugh. The sarcasm that dripped off every syllable. Just like last time, the world around me faded into the fuzziness of being between where I was and where I needed to be.

  I heard my breathing. I felt my pulse, steady and rhythmic. Everything went black, silent and cold. The last thing I remembered was the warmth of Tanner’s hand as he took hold of mine.

  A pinprick of light shone in the distance. It darted away, and I followed.

  Light.

  And noise. Lots of noise. A busy street.

  Someone yelled—someone I was afraid of. I tried to back away. I tried to crawl from where I was seated, but I couldn’t. I struggled against whatever tied my hands together…whatever held my feet firmly in place.

  I opened my eyes. I saw what Stacia saw.

  The blood on her shirt. The filthy sheets on the bed. The dishes piled in the sink in the kitchen sink of the apartment. No, this was a loft. But where?

  Footsteps. Heavy footsteps. Stacia’s heart raced in her chest. Bile rose in the back of her neck. She wasn’t just afraid; she was terrified. As long as he wasn’t in the room, she was safe, but he was coming back to the room.

  I wanted to scream. I tried to. The gag in my mouth choked me as I fought against it. I could see his shadow stretching toward me along the yellowed hardwood floor. I skidded back, away from him.

  And then I looked out the window.

  I jumped up with a start, forgetting the whole weak-in-the-knees thing from last time. If Tanner hadn’t been holding onto me, I would have pitched forward and over the railing of the bleachers.

  Fighting the nausea—not sure if it was mine or Stacia’s—I turned to Tanner. “I know where she is.”

  I turned toward the narrow metal stairs, not waiting to see if he was behind me. “I’m gonna need a ride.”

  “What? Where?”

  “We’re going to New Orleans.”

  32

  Rule #1 – Never tell

  9:45 a.m.

  No idea

  * * *

  After the second hour of driving, I finally worked up the courage to ask the question. The question that had been lurking in the back of my mind since I saw his face that day. The one that first formed while I was kneeling on the ground, still dripping creek water mixed with who knows what and his face twisted with a combination of disbelief and anger.

  “Why’d you get so mad at me?” I tried to force my voice to sound steady, confident and forceful, but it sounded weakly timid even to my ears.

  Tanner didn’t want to answer me. I could see it in the way his breathing changed and his hands gripped the steering wheel. He didn’t even glance my way. “You let her die.”

  Part of me wanted to feign confusion. After all, I did save Addy.

  We both knew he wasn’t talking about Addy.

  “You’re talking about Kasey.”

  “She died, Kennedy.”

  “I know.” The metallic tinge of blood hit my tongue. I didn’t even realize I’d been biting my lip. “And trust me, I wish I could have saved her.”

  I thought about it every day.

  Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Alex’s face in my mind the morning he came back to school from the funeral. He didn’t blame me, but that was only because he didn’t know he should have.

  I thought about Kasey every time I sat down at the table where Loretta had placed the newspaper with her story. And when I thought about what happened to her, I instantly lost my appetite. On Monday I had to borrow Scarlett’s old jeans because my new ones didn’t fit any longer.

  “So why didn’t you?” The impatient edge to Tanner’s voice was echoed by the truck’s sudden acceleration.

  “It’s not that simple.” How could I explain something I didn’t even understand myself?

  “Looked easy enough.” One last stabbing point made, he settled into stony silence, his anger simmering just below the boiling point. In his eyes, I was just as guilty as whoever killed Kasey. Maybe more.

  “This gift.” I winced, hearing myself describe it as anything other than a curse. “This thing I can do. It’ll destroy me someday if I use it too much. Just like my mom.”

  The truck lurched to the side, and for a second, I thought he was pulling off. Instead, I snuck a peek at his face out of the corner of my eye. I’d lost him back at “it’ll destroy me.”

  “I was seven years old the first time I found someone. I did it totally on accident. I had to, since I didn’t even know what this thing was. I’d heard my father talking about a little girl who was missing in England. Later that day, I’d been letting my mind wander, and I saw her. Just like she was standing in front of me. But she wasn’t in front of me. She was hiding under a table in the back of a little cottage.”

  I paused, turning away from the window, and focused on the thick web of trees gliding past on the edge of the roadway. I’d reached the point in the
story where things began to get complicated. I’d hit the point where my life changed. I’d arrived at The Rules.

  “I asked my mom why Amelia was hiding, and she totally freaked out. I mean, she grabbed me by the hand, dragged me up the stairs, and slammed my door while demanding to hear the whole story. Back then, I didn’t know any better. I told her.”

  Once again, I retreated to the relative safety of the world outside the window. Not too long ago, the pine trees would have been too foreign to me to seek comfort in, but now I saw that a part of me was always at home here in the misty shadows. A swirl of metallic bitterness filled my mouth. I was biting my lip again.

  “She looked like she was going to pass out in front of me. Or maybe she was going to vomit. She grabbed the brand new little notebook off my nightstand. I’d gotten it for my birthday, and I was saving it for something important. She flipped it open to the first page, and she gave me the first rule: Never tell. She made me promise not to tell anyone, especially my father.”

  “Why? You can save people.”

  “I can. Just like she could. But every time we look for someone else, every time we find them, every time we go into someone else’s world, we lose a piece of ourselves.”

  “Huh?” I’d confused him so much, he couldn’t even think of a question.

  I’d gone this far. I couldn’t turn back now. My stomach churned like sour milk. “The cottage where Amelia was hiding, it smelled like dirt, but not fresh dirt. It smelled like something had died, like something had gone bad, like something was turning back into dirt.”

  My nose wrinkled. I didn’t have to search too hard for the words to describe it. That smell was always hanging around me somewhere. I’d just learned not to notice it. “I can still smell it. Even now. And when I’m not totally paying attention, sometimes I can see Amelia out of the corner of my eyes. Not the little Amelia, the teenager she is now. She will always be a part of me.”

  I turned to face Tanner, saving him from having to ask the next question. “Just like Addy’s part of me now. I can hear her humming. I can feel the cat sitting in her lap.”

  I’d said it. And saying it made it real. I knew that someday, I’d end up like my mother. Someday, there just wouldn’t be anything left of me.

  “Then stop.” Tanner’s words caught me off-guard. Out of all the possible replies I’d been expecting, that wasn’t it. “Don’t do it. After Stacia, just don’t do it anymore.”

  “I don’t know if I can.”

  33

  Rule #91 – Know who’s on your team

  3:45 p.m.

  New Orleans, Louisiana

  * * *

  Tanner waited until we saw the ‘Now entering New Orleans’ sign to ask the question that had been riding along in the car with us. “And what are we doing once we get there?”

  “We have to get to the French Quarter.”

  “Yeah, you told me that.” For the first time, a hint of skepticism entered his voice. “After that.”

  “We find my father.”

  When we’d gotten into the truck, he’d been filled with a determination and a focus that made me see why he was such a deadly opponent on the football field. Once he heard my story, though, something changed in the car. The unwavering sense that we were doing the exact right thing had been replaced by hesitant glances in my direction.

  Miles had flown past in a blur. Hours sped by without a word spoken between us. Thankfully, he never asked if I was certain of what we were doing. He knew what I could do. So did I. That knowledge scared the hell out of both of us.

  His cell phone stopped ringing when we were two hours outside of town. Before that, it buzzed almost nonstop. A series of different numbers filled the screen before Tanner flicked it off with an oddly final press of his thumb.

  My phone stayed silent at my feet. Either no one knew I’d left school or no one cared.

  Honestly, finding my father turned out to be surprisingly easy. Despite the buzzing excitement of tourists and activity filling the street, once we turned onto the main road, I could clearly see them in the distance. A group of men and women, all wearing dark sunglasses, all trying too hard to blend in.

  “That’s them.” I pointed to a white van parked about a block away from us.

  “Do you see your dad?”

  “No, but I’m sure he’s there.” I swallowed. At least I tried to, but my mouth was as dry as if I’d been sucking on cotton.

  What was I going to do? What was I going to say? How was I going to convince him to listen to me when he never had before?

  Since we were smack in the center of tourist central, our first hurdle was finding a parking space. Knowing time was of the essence, Tanner slowed to a stop next to the group of minivans and fake tourists. His lips a grim line, he nodded, pointing at the door. Without knowing what I was going to do next, I jumped out the passenger’s door.

  And I found out it was actually pretty easy to get the agents’ attention when I literally jumped into their midst. I think half of them wanted to tackle me on sight, but when I spoke up, they stopped in their tracks. “I need to speak with Evan Thatcher.”

  Sonya stepped out of the group. I’d never seen her flustered before.

  Whether he heard me or was drawn by the commotion, I wasn’t sure, but I heard a creak of the oversized sliding door, the men facing me shuffled back and I was standing face-to-face with my father for the first time in months.

  I had to hand it to him. He didn’t seem surprised to see me. Instead, the resigned look on his face told me that he’d almost expected my arrival. But he didn’t expect Tanner.

  As the tall, lanky and far-too-attractive-for-his-own-good football player approached, I was certain that I caught my father off-guard. Not sure how he thought I’d arrived without a car of my own. Maybe he’d guessed that I’d be taking a bus or a taxi. I had to fight back a laugh, because I knew he’d love that particular credit card bill. He blinked, giving me a very dissatisfied dad look. I’d never seen that look on his face before.

  I didn’t speak until Tanner was at my side. Up until now, I hadn’t really discovered how much his physical presence steadied me. His hand skimmed my back, and I could feel his warmth, his strength and his fear. No matter how much he and Stacia weren’t really a thing, neither of us wanted to go to her funeral .

  “I know where she is.”

  My secret was out in the open again.

  He didn’t ask how I knew. He’d known Mom’s secret. The knowing expression in my father’s eyes spoke volumes. All the unanswered questions suddenly had answers, and I understood why I lost my mom while she was helping him.

  Now I was about to take the same risk.

  “I know where Stacia is.” I repeated myself, making certain he understood what I meant.

  “Where?” He was back to my-father-the-special-agent. No trace of the overprotective dad hovered anywhere in his voice or his mannerisms. He was carefully distant. Detached. Only one thing was on his mind.

  The same thing that was on mine. “I’m not sure.”

  “Find out.” He didn’t mince words.

  And so I did it again.

  And it wasn’t like with Addy. I wasn’t just looking around, looking to see where she was on the river. I was in Stacia’s head.

  And she was terrified. Her fear was so real I could taste it. My pulse pounded in time with hers.

  Focus.

  I needed to focus.

  I couldn’t let her terror overwhelm me. That wouldn’t help either of us. I took a breath, forcing her eyes to study the room. Surely there was something in there that could tell me where she was.

  Correction—where they were.

  The minute our eyes focused, I saw what—no, who—was frightening her so badly.

  This time, he was there, standing not five feet in front of Stacia. His stained wife beater, more yellow than white, looked like something out of a television show, giving him the classic bad guy appearance. Sadly, this wasn’t a drama ma
de for television. Stacia’s pounding pulse convinced me of her very real, mounting terror.

  The guy wasn’t paying attention to her right now, but she was convinced it was only a matter of time. He was focused on the ancient television in the far corner of the room, the actors on the screen almost lost in a black and white haze.

  The muscle of his right arm tensed, causing her to flinch. She feared whatever he was holding and knew once he used it, she wouldn’t leave the loft alive. Unless someone stopped him, the rest of her life was measured not in hours but minutes or seconds.

  I only had a moment to act.

  But I still didn’t have a clue where she was.

  I jumped back into myself for a moment. I hadn’t realized I’d been crying until the wind stung the streaks of tears streaming down my face. Both my father and Tanner appeared to be beyond concerned, and I’d attracted the attention of more than a few teammates. “He’s going to kill her.”

  “Well stop him.” Tanner’s eyes bulged, and his yell caught Sonya’s attention. She flashed a look to my father, clearly asking if this intruder needed to be removed.

  “It doesn’t work that way.” Admitting it broke my heart. If I closed my eyes, I was about to watch Stacia die. Even now, I could still feel the faint buzz of our lingering connection.

  “Can you tell us where she is? We need to know.” For the first time, my father seemed almost afraid of me. He was using the soft, cautious voice someone would use when talking to a stray animal. “What did you see?”

  “Nothing.” I’d never wanted something so badly. I needed something to show exactly where they were, but the room was just a room. “I can tell they’re close. I can see the buildings and the cast iron balconies.”

  But all the buildings looked the same. I didn’t know which one they were in.

  “We need something specific.” A new member of the team with a beyond familiar voice approached. How in hell had Loretta gotten here? And why had the focus of the small team suddenly shifted?