Killing Me Softly

by Lauren Firminger

  “How didn’t I end up like Kailey?” He nodded. Raising my shoulders in a shrug, I looked down at the headstone. “Corey. He has been looking out for me his whole life. Whenever he thought I was about to do something stupid, he would pull me aside and talk me out of it. When Kailey started hanging out with that crowd, he begged me not to. He had seen a lot of people fall in with them and it never ended well. Most of them ended up in prison straight out of high school or dead. I tried to keep her away from them too, but I just couldn’t get her to listen to me. We fell out not long after that. After she went to rehab, she called me to make amends for what had happened. We had just started getting back to how things were when the accident happened.” I missed her like crazy somedays. They were the days that I let myself think about her. Despite everything she had gone through, she had a heart of gold when it came down to it. She never told him this but she thought the world of Toby and loved him a lot. She was grateful for everything that he had done for her. He never turned his back on her when she admitted to needing help. Instead, he was her knight in shining armor. I looked up slowly at him, wiping a stray tear from my eye. Could he be mine too or was I just destined to watch everyone around me be happy? Toby took a step toward me and wrapped his arms around me. Resting my head against his chest, we both stood there looking down at Kailey. A comfortable silence falling around us. I couldn’t think of a more fitting place to bury one relationship. I’m not sure I was ready to start another one. No matter how badly I wanted to put Xavier behind me. Toby deserved more than that. I deserved more than that.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Tobias

  “So why aren’t you at work? Do the cops in this town actually work, because so far today I have seen two, not doing much work.” I raised my brow at Abby as she looked up at me. I wasn’t quite ready to let her out of my arms and clearly, from the fact that she hadn’t pulled away yet, she wasn’t ready to leave them either.

  “Who’s the second one?” She just gave me a look and I cursed. “Well he should be at work considering he is the reason I’m not.”

  “Uh oh, what’s he done now?”

  “I went in first thing this morning and got called into the Captain’s office. He tried to get me in shit after last night, but the idiot used my friendship with Corey. The Captain knows I have been friends with him since long before I signed up to be a cop. After I got out of the Academy, Corey was in the MC by then so if it had of been a problem then, I would have known about it. Since Raven and the guys have cleaned the club up, he actually wants me working with them more, but we have kept Xavier out of those conversations because he is an idiot and would go charging in there, demanding to be included. That’s not how we work though.” I shook my head but went on.

  “Captain suggested a leave of absence until he gets rid of him.”

  “When is that gonna be?”

  “As soon as he can find him an assignment as far away from here as he can get him.”

  “Was that at your request?” I shook my head.

  “No, that was actually the Captain’s request. See the thing is, if he was to just disappear, I don’t think anyone would actually notice that he wasn’t being a pain in the ass anymore.” She rolled her eyes and looked away.

  “I think his baby mama might care. Although, from the conversation she overheard, she may be persuaded to look the other way.”

  “What did she overhear?” She took a deep breath and pulled back. Shit. Why the fuck did we have to have this conversation. I watched her move to where she had put her coffee down and pick it up, taking a drink before her eyes met mine again.

  “He told me that she meant nothing to him and that he was trying to end it, but she wasn’t having a bar of it. He didn’t mean to hurt me. Blah, blah, blah. You know the deal. I told him to do me a favor and to drop dead and that I would make good on the promise of the Reapers coming after him if he didn’t leave me alone. No phone calls, no visits, no popping up at my favorite spots. I am actually surprised he isn’t here though. He knows I come here to read when the world gets too much for me.”

  “He doesn’t know that.” Her head tilted to the side and she looked at me confused. “You didn’t tell him that, you told me.” Abby looked away as she thought about it. There was that crease in her brows until slowly, her eyes went wide.

  “Fuck, how did I not remember that?!” I chuckled softly.

  “To be fair, you were really drunk that night. I won’t hold it against you.” Abby rested the palm of her hand on her forehead and looked over at me with a sheepish look on her face.

  “You must think I am a complete freak?”

  “Nope. Guess again.”

  “How can you not? I go to a cemetery to read and hang out with dead people?!”

  “I can understand that. Most living people totally suck. There is a pretty long list of people that I would sacrifice if we ever encountered a zombie apocalypse. He would be first on my list.” I probably should have waited for her not to be drinking coffee to say that because I swear as soon as the words were out of my mouth, the coffee was coming out of her nose! I tried not to laugh as I moved over to her, patting her back softly as she coughed. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and started laughing. Her hand shot out and smacked me across the stomach.

  “Jerk, I could have choked on that!” I tried to give her a sincere look as I apologized to her but I ended up cracking up laughing. She hit me again and just shook her head. “Such an ass.”

  “Hey, at least know that if you had of choked, I could have given you mouth to mouth to bring you back! I wouldn’t let you die in a cemetery!” Abby laughed.

  “Oh how kind of you!”

  “Oh yeah, I am all gentleman.” She put her coffee cup to her mouth and went to take another drink. She stopped though and looked up at me with a raised brow. I drew a halo over my head and she took a mouthful from her cup. “That’s gotta be cold by now?” She gave me a nod.

  “It is.”

  “Well, why don’t we go back and get new ones. If you don’t mind some company that has a pulse that is.” She shoved me causing me to laugh again. Abby crouched down to scoop up all the dead flowers from her cleaning up Kailey’s plot and moved to discard them in nearby bin along with her cold coffee cup.

  “Keep it up, Mister, and you won’t have one.” When she moved back over to me, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and walked her back to the parking lot. I didn’t care how long it took, I would make Abby see that we belonged together and that what she needed had been right under her nose the whole time. Over my dead body would I let someone take my place again. We got to our cars and I waited for her to get into hers before moving to my own. I followed her out of the lot and made my way for her favorite coffee shop.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Abby

  After following Toby out of the cemetery, we met back up again at the coffee shop. Normally I would be freaked out if someone knew all my spots but with Toby it was comforting. He knew me. All of me, scars and all. I didn't need to hide from him or be someone I wasn't. I could be myself. If I wasn’t okay then I didn't need to pretend to be. I could kick and scream or cry. He’d already seen me at my absolute worst and stuck around anyway. I took my seat while he went to order. Again, I didn't need to say anything, he knew my order. When he came back over and sat my mug down, I smiled.

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” He slid into the booth across from me with his. There was nothing fancy about his coffee. He liked it black with no sugar. How he could drink it like that, I would never understand. Even Corey put creamer in his. “What was that look for?” I looked up at him.

  “What look?”

  “You wrinkled your nose!” I made another face at him and laughed as he did.

  “I don't know how you can drink your coffee like that! Doesn't it taste bitter and disgusting?”

  “You mean unlike the sugar syrup you drink instead?”

  “There is nothing wrong with the w
ay I drink my coffee thank you very much! White with two sugars is completely normal.” He responded with a snort.

  “When you do as many night shifts as I have done, Abs, you learn to drink your coffee however you can get it. I'm surprised you still have all your teeth!”

  “Aside from the ones that I had replaced, you mean?” He made a face and I saw his back straighten.

  “Shit, I'm sorry!” I waved him off.

  “It’s fine, I was just messing with you. I know you didn't mean anything by it.” I watched him relax.

  “How are you not institutionalized?” I raised my brow.

  “I'm sorry, what?”

  “With all the shit you have been through and seen, how are you not locked up in a padded cell with a pink jacket that lets you hug yourself? You are so together! You should be a wreck after what Xavier did but you are being so strong. You got up and made today your bitch.” I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

  “I guess I just didn't really love him. I always had this little voice in my head warning me about him, but I was being stubborn and just ignored it thinking I knew better. I refuse to let any man get the best of me though unless he really deserves it. I was upset last night, I won't lie but this morning I realized that I had been through worse and survived it. Him cheating on me with her was doing me a favor. I got rid of him before I spent too much time in a toxic relationship that was no good for me. Now I get to move on to bigger and better things.” I watched as he stayed quiet and took a drink of his coffee. I took a deep breath and finally let him inside my head.

  “I know how you feel about me. Deep down a part of me has always known the truth even if I didn’t want to admit it. You are my big brother’s best mate and sometimes my insecurities had me wondering if it was actually what I thought it was or if it was just you watching out for a friend’s sister. At the same time, I didn’t want anything to come between the two of you. Other than the boys at the club, you are all he has. I really wish he would get laid and stop breathing down my neck, but I know he cares and doesn’t want to see anything happen to me again. He’s been there for all the tears and the nightmares. He’s lost hours of sleep just to sit there and watch me while I slept because I wouldn’t let anyone near me. He protected me from my dreams. He deserved to have his best mate and the fun you guys have. He needs that escape from club life from time to time. I didn’t want a relationship with you to come between that. I do really care about you Toby. That will never change. I just need some more time.” Toby set down his coffee cup and he moved his hand to rest against my cheek. His eyes met mine.

  “Abby, I told you last night, I would give you as much time as you needed. I had to voice it out loud so when that time did come, I didn’t miss my chance again. You deserve nothing but happiness and I want to be the one making you happy. Your brother knows how I feel. He has always known. It’s why he doesn’t worry about you when he goes away. He knows I am just a phone call away if anything happens to you. I will wait as long as you need me to. Just need you to pick me this time.” I closed my eyes and nodded. Before I could say anything though, a voice that I didn’t want to hear, cut through the air.

  “Well, well, well. Isn’t this cozy.” I let out a small groan. Why wouldn’t he leave me alone! I turned to look at him, my eyes narrowing.

  “Why won’t you drop fucking dead already?!” Enough was enough. I was tired of this asshole popping up everywhere and needed to do something about it. I looked over at Toby. “Can I please have your phone?” He moved and pulled it from his pocket before handing it to me. I took it from him. I got out of the booth and shoved past him. I headed for the ladies’ bathroom and closed the door behind me. I knew if he made a move to follow me, that Toby would stop him. Sliding my thumb over the screen I searched for Corey’s number. Why, I wasn’t sure. I could dial that number off the top of my head but I did. Tapping my thumb against his name, I held it to my ear and waited for him to pick up.

  “Brother.”

  “Guess again.”

  “Abby? Is everything okay? Where’s your phone?”

  “I left it at home. Bubba, I need your help. Yours and the boys.”

  “Anything. Tell me what’s going on?”

  “I need you to deal with a problem for me. No matter where I go today, Xavier is there. I need you please to take care of him. I can’t keep doing this. I was just going to ignore the problem but he isn’t going away. Please, please can you take care of it. I don’t want Toby to get in trouble. You are more skilled at making people disappear than he is.”

  “Where are you?”

  “The Coffee Spot.”

  “Get Toby to take you home. Leave the keys with Jess and the boys and I will grab your car later. Wait five minutes then leave. We can intercept him then so he doesn’t follow you home.”

  “I will go back to Toby’s. It’s further out and in case he does follow, you guys can get him on the way through.”

  “If that’s what you want to do.”

  “I just want him to leave me alone.”

  “We’ve got this, Abs. Go get Toby and get out of there. The boys and I are leaving now.” He hung up the phone and I took a series of deep breaths. I did this when it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I steeled myself before leaving the bathroom. I gave Toby his phone back and picked my keys up off the table. I crossed the cafe to where Jess was and slid my keys over to her.

  “Can you mind these for me? Bubba is coming to pick my car up for me.”

  “Sure honey, everything okay?” I gave her a smile.

  “Yeah just not feeling too well so I am gonna get Toby to give me a ride home. I’ll be fine.” She gave me a look like she was gonna try and stop me but nodded and took the keys in the back with her. Moving back to the table, I shot Xavier one final look. “Toby, can you please take me home.”

  “Sure.” He was now up out of the booth and moved to block me from Xavier. He placed his hand on my back and led me out of the shop. “Your place or mine?”

  “Yours. The boys are coming for him.”

  “Let’s go then.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Tobias

  Leading Abby out of The Coffee Spot, I walked her to my car. Xavier was following behind us and it was taking all I had in me not to turn around and slam his head into the nearby brick wall. I needed to get Abby out of here though. She really didn’t want to be here with him and that was my main focus. She said the boys were coming so they would take care of him. Hearing my phone go off, I pulled it out. Seeing a text from Corey, he was telling me which way to take on the way back to my place. I got Abby in and moved around to the driver’s side. Getting in and turning on the car, I pulled out of my spot next to hers. Checking my rear-view mirror as I drove down Main Street, I saw Xavier’s car pull out and start to follow me. Turning down Moore Street, following the route that Corey mapped out, once I turned on to Acacia Avenue, I waited for the sound of help arriving. It wasn’t until I got onto Sampson Street that I heard them. Once we were down the quieter end where the houses began to disappear, I passed the guys. Looking in the mirror again, I saw Xavier still following me while the guys now followed him. Abby turned in her seat to see him and she sighed. Reaching over the center console, I took her hand in mind and gave it a gentle squeeze.

  “The boys will take it from here.” She tried to give me a reassuring smile but it fell short.

  “I know. I trust Bubba and the boys.” I saw her gaze move to the side mirror, trying not to make it obvious that she was watching.

  We got a little further down the road and more help came into view. Instead of letting both mine and Xavier’s cars pass them, these ones pulled out behind us, causing Xavier to slam on the breaks. I knew that would be Corey, Raven, Chaos and JD. Turning on to Harrow Road, I put my foot down and picked up my speed. My house wasn’t far from here so it didn’t take me too much longer to get there.

  “What do you think they’ll do to him?” Abby chewed on her lip and glanced
over at me.

  “It’s probably best not to ask that question, Abs. It’s better not knowing. They won’t be able to tie you to his disappearance if someone was to report it.” She gave me a nod.

  Pulling into my driveway, I turned the car off. Shifting in my seat so I was facing her, I let go of her hand and moved them to cup her cheeks. “You did the right thing. I know it was a hard call to make, but he was never going to leave you alone. The chase was just too exciting for him. Just like his cheating. He didn’t care about her, it was the thrill of not being caught. Once I blew that up for him, the game changed. Now you had to end it.”

  “Would I be a horrible person for saying, out loud, that I will never regret making that phone call?”

  “After what that asshole has done? Nope!”

  “He cheated though. Does that really warrant a death certificate?”

  “You don’t know that’s what they are gonna do to him,” she answered, with a look which made me laugh. “Okay, I know. This is the Reapers we are talking about.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Abs, listen to me. A guy like that doesn’t deserve oxygen. The fact that he cheated was bad enough but to continue on as long as he did, knock her up then want nothing to do with her or the baby? I would also put money on him offering to ‘take care of it’ for her so that no one would find out. Let’s not even go into stalking you and trying to wear you down, trying to get me stood down and probably trying to get hold of all the cases that I’d been working on in an attempt to get into the Reapers.” I shut up for a minute to let all of that sink in.

  “The truth is Abs, you did the world a favor by calling Corey. You are right not to regret it.” I dropped my hands and reached over to take my keys out. “Come one. Let’s go relax and watch a movie. I’ll even let you pick it.” I winked as I opened the door and got out. She scrambled to gather up her bag and get out of the passenger seat.