Forget Me Knot

by King, Lori

  “Tell me about your tattoo.” She was determined not to let her heart delve into the scary world of love.

  He shifted behind her, and one of his hands covered hers on the pommel, instantly warming them through their gloves. “I got it after I came back to North Dakota. It took me being in jail for those four months to realize that pride is dangerous. When I left the ranch to go to school in Texas, I truly thought I was moving on to bigger and better things. Somehow, in my mind, I associated this life—being a cowboy—with poverty and a lack of accomplishment. By the time I learned how good I had it, I’d fallen a long ways. I fought with my ex-wife over ridiculous material things because she hurt my pride when she left me. I refused to seek help when I needed it because I was embarrassed to admit I needed it. It took a lot for me to admit that the only way I would ever really be proud of myself is if I allowed myself to grow. So, growth before pride became my motto.”

  “And why is it in Italian?” she asked.

  “Russo is an Italian last name, and the only thing I know about my lineage is that my mother was Italian. Her name was Elena Carlotta Russo, and other than that and her birthdate and death date I don’t know much else about her.”

  “I’m grateful that I at least knew about my mom. There were times when I was young that I could get my dad started talking about the past, and it was really the only time he would smile. It almost always ended with him in a sad state of depression later, but it was worth it to see the memories through his eyes for just a minute.” She didn’t know why she was sharing such intimate details, but the more they shared, the more connected she felt with Drannon, and now that she’d tasted their bond, she craved it. “I had a doll that had long red hair when I was young, like ten maybe, and I used to pretend that my mother gave her to me because the doll looked a little like her pictures. I would talk to her, and tell her about my day…”

  Drannon was quiet for a few moments, and the only sound echoing in the night was the rustle of the snow under the horse’s hooves. “I stuttered as a child. Really bad. It wasn’t until I moved to the ranch and found a stable environment that I was able to overcome it. I redirected my anger at my mom into fighting with the kids at school for awhile, but I remember Abe sitting me down after one particularly bad fight and giving me a talking to. He said, ‘Son, if you’re going to let those boys get you riled up because you say things in a unique way, then you’re going to spend the rest of your life fighting. You need to stand up and accept that you were gifted with more abilities than they were. How many people are able to say things like you do?’ ”

  Lacy couldn’t help herself, she laughed at the image in her head and the interesting take on a stutter. “Well, that’s one way to look at it.”

  “Yep, it served its purpose. I worked hard to tame the stuttering and the temper, and before long, I was the biggest kid in school, so nobody messed with me.”

  “I stayed to myself in school too. Not really because people picked on me, but more because they just weren’t like me. I liked to read and listen to music, and I really preferred to be alone.”

  “So how did you end up in the big city then?” he asked.

  “Work. I’ve been able to hide behind a computer, but in truth I was lonely.”

  “You don’t have to be lonely anymore,” Drannon whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple as they both fell silent again, lost in their own thoughts. Emotions swirled through Lacy’s brain leaving her feeling off balance, and vulnerable. The closer she became to Drannon, the more she wanted to believe she really could have her cake and eat it too. He’d gifted her with a memory, but he made it so much more special by sharing himself with her. She’d never had anyone really want to just be with her for no reason other than they enjoyed her company. It was unsettling and fulfilling at the same time.

  By the time they reached the front porch, she had her emotions back under control, and she kissed him soundly when he lifted her down off the horse.

  “That was magnificent, Drannon. I’ve never had a better gift for my birthday. Thank you for taking me to see it.”

  “My pleasure, sweetheart. I have to put Toto away, but you go on in and get warm.”

  Lacy had a pot of coffee, and a couple of sandwiches made by the time Drannon came back in the house. He moaned with his first sip of the steaming drink, and he winked at her. “You know exactly how to keep your man satisfied. Hot coffee, good food, a pretty smile and hot sex. You’re perfect. Can I keep you?”

  Lacy laughed with him, but the question echoed in her head. They ate their sandwiches amidst mutual teasing and affectionate touches. Later, as they made slow, sweet love—in his bed this time—she felt pieces of her heart melting and binding with his. She couldn’t imagine leaving the ranch after just a couple of days with Drannon. How much harder would it be in a couple of weeks?

  As dawn was nearing, Drannon went to the kitchen to scrounge up another snack for them. When he came back, he informed her that Marilyn was feeling under the weather, and his brothers were handling the chores for the day, so they could stay in bed. Lacy watched the large cowboy as he settled a bowl of popcorn and a couple of sodas on his bedside table.

  “Did you mean it?”

  Drannon glanced up in confusion. “Mean what, sweetheart?”

  “You asked me if you could keep me.”

  He froze in place and then slowly sank down to sit on the bed beside her with a heavy sigh. “Yes, I meant it.”

  Their eyes met and held, and she shook her head, “I’m not the relationship type. I don’t know how to be…normal.”

  The corner of his mouth curled up in a sad half smile, “I’m not sure I would feel the same way about you if you were normal. You know, when I came back to the ranch from Texas, my heart was in pieces and I was angry. No, not just angry, I was bitter. Bitter over my ruined career, my wasted years, my failed marriage…” He paused, and pressed a kiss to her temple, “For years, I’ve hidden on this ranch from my hurt. I’ve had sex, but you are the first woman in decades who’s made me want to feel more than just an orgasm.”

  “Drannon, don’t fall in love with me,” she whispered, biting down on her lip to keep from crying.

  He huffed a despondent laugh. “Oh, if only it was that simple, sweetheart.”

  “It is that simple. This is temporary,” she argued, struggling to keep her own emotions walled off.

  “It seems like everything good in my life is temporary. The only constant is the ranch.” His words broke her heart. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she was afraid if she didn’t push him away now, he was going to hurt her.

  “We have another week to enjoy each other’s company, and then I’m getting on the plane to Chicago and going back to reality.”

  “I know that, and I give you my word I’ll respect your choice, but I can’t shut off my feelings for you anymore than I can pack my bags and follow you to Chicago while you build your career. It almost feels like fate is playing a cruel joke on me by bringing you here to tempt me and then stealing you away. I can only hope that you will allow me to be in your life from a distance. As friends, or occasional lovers, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give.”

  Lacy swallowed hard, and tears started sliding down her cheeks to land on the pillow under her head. “I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry that I came here, or that I met you. I care more for you than I have anyone in my life, but I can’t stay. That job is the stepping stone that I need to build a legitimate business of my own, I have to take it if they offer it to me.”

  “Hush now…” Drannon reached out to pull her teary face against his bare chest. He pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, and she could feel him running his fingers through her hair. When was the last time someone had soothed her with such a sweet and honest touch? She couldn’t remember. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I know the facts, and I’m not angry with you. If you don’t get the job though…well…I suppose I better just leave it. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let’s eat and
then tuck you back into bed for some well-deserved rest. It’s your birthday, and I intend on loving you as often as I can before you leave.”

  Chapter 10

  Hours later, Lacy was absolutely sure that her body was going to need traction when she hopped the plane back to Chicago. She ached in places she hadn’t ever ached before, but every twinge reminded her of the exquisite way Drannon had loved her body. She understood the phrase “making love” now because the man did nothing without emotion. It was as though they communicated more clearly without words.

  After showering and dressing in the comfiest clothes she’d brought along, she headed downstairs. Drannon had headed down an hour before assuring her that he wouldn’t be gone long, but she respected that he had obligations to the ranch. She wanted to check in on Marilyn to see if she was feeling better, and besides, today was the big day. The golden key to her future could be sitting in her inbox right now. The question was, did she really want to open it yet?

  The sound of voices drew her through the living room to the kitchen where she found the countertops scattered with various utensils and used mixing bowls, and three men dotted with flour and what looked to be chocolate frosting.

  “Lacy!” Hawke gasped, and moved to stand in front of something blocking her view. “What are you doing down here?”

  “Hey guys. What are you doing?” she asked, frowning at the guilty expressions on Vin and Hawke’s faces. Roman gave her a shit eating grin that indicated her gut was right and these three were up to something.

  “We’re taking care of the cooking while Marilyn is resting. Why aren’t you resting?” Roman said, moving in her direction. He linked one arm around her waist and spun her toward the doorway. “By the smile on big D’s face I wasn’t expecting to see you down here until mid-week.”

  She felt her cheeks heat as she realized her secret fling wasn’t so secret anymore. Unable to formulate a good response, she dropped her gaze to the floor and shifted nervously. To her surprise, Vin stepped closer and took her hand in his, “Hey, what’s this? Are you embarrassed? You shouldn’t be. We’re all three happy to see D find someone who makes him happy.”

  While she appreciated the endorsement, she wasn’t ready to have a discussion with Drannon’s family about her intentions, so she changed the subject. “Thanks. I think I’ve spent enough time in bed. I wanted to check in on Marilyn and see if there was anything I could do to help.”

  “Oh, that’s sweet, but she’s fine. She woke up with a bit of a headache and we insisted she go back to bed. Has anyone told you how beautiful you are when you’re blushing?”

  Roman’s flirtatious teasing made her blush harder and she was just about to give him a piece of her mind when Vin growled at him.

  “Leave her alone Romeo, she’s off limits.” Vin’s cheek had a telltale white flour mark just beneath his eye. “Drannon’s out with Dorothy, but he’ll be back in shortly. Did you need anything? We’d be happy to help.”

  “No, I’m fine. I just wanted to check in on Marilyn. What are you guys making in there?”

  “Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too.” Hawke responded moving closer to stand beside Vin.

  She rolled her eyes, and laughed. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

  “Sounds like you and Drannon found the spirit of love last night.” Hawke teased, receiving and elbow to the ribs from Vin.

  “Shut up, asshat.” The bigger man snarled at his younger brother and then gave Lacy another apologetic smile. “These two heathens don’t get out much. You’ll have to forgive them for being jackasses. I think it’s all the video games.”

  Roman snorted and punched Vin in the shoulder, “We’re not the ones who act like hermits. When’s the last time you got laid, soldier boy?”

  The glare Vin gave Roman was lethal, and Lacy hurried to intercede. “No offense taken. It’s nice to have such good-looking gentlemen appreciating me.” Roman’s face broke into a smug smile, and Hawke looked at her almost like an adoring fan. “However, Vin’s right, I’m off limits. I don’t know you guys very well yet, but I do know that Drannon will flip if he hears you flirting with me, and besides, I’m going back to Chicago next week.”

  “Just making sure you know you have options…” Roman said with a wink.

  “No she doesn’t.” Drannon’s voice echoed through the room even though he spoke quietly, and Lacy turned in his direction, sure she was going to find him livid over his brother’s flirting. She found him watching her with a slight smile curving his lips.

  “I always have options,” she said with an irritated huff.

  Drannon shook his head and came to her side, wrapping his arms around her. It was the first real display of affection in front of his family, and she wasn’t sure if she should pull away or just accept it. He didn’t give her a chance to decide before he kissed her. It was a soul-stealing, deeply passionate kiss that left no doubt in her mind how he felt about his brothers flirting. He might not be in an outright pissing match, but he’d more or less just marked his territory.

  When he pulled away, she was gasping for air and slightly woozy. His chocolate brown eyes were dark with desire and he turned them on Roman. “Let me rephrase that. She’s made her choice, and you’re going to back off.”

  “Heard you loud and clear. Hell, I thought you were going to eat her alive right here in front of us.” Roman teased.

  “Shut up, Romeo.” Drannon said softly, staring down at Lacy. “Did you get enough rest?”

  “Yes, I slept like the dead.” She was keenly aware of Vin and Hawke still silently watching their interaction, but no one seemed bothered in the least by their affectionate display. “I was just about to check on Marilyn, but these guys forced me out of the kitchen.”

  Drannon narrowed his eyes on Roman who shrugged and said simply, “We’ve got it under control. You lovebirds can roost until dinner.”

  Vin smacked his brother in the head making Lacy giggle as Drannon rolled his eyes.

  “I was just thinking we could watch a movie on the big screen while the guys were giving the games a rest.” Drannon said, pulling her in the direction of the family room. “We have hundreds of movies to pick from. What do you like?”

  “Anything. I’m not much of a movie buff, but I enjoy most genres,” she answered, following his lead.

  “What’s your favorite movie?” He pulled open one of the floor-to-ceiling cabinets along the back of the wall. Inside were hundreds of colorful plastic cases, and she felt her mouth drop open. He caught her look of surprise, and smiled, “There’s not much to do around here in the winter, so we spend a lot of time watching movies.”

  “I guess so. Um, my favorite movie is Forrest Gump,” she said, running her fingertip over the smooth plastic boxes in front of her as she scanned titles.

  “Really? That’s a bit melodramatic for my taste.” He frowned, and then reached for one on the top shelf. “What about action?”

  “Terminator? Really? You do realize I’m a chick, right?”

  He laughed. “Chicks dig Schwarzenegger, don’t they?”

  “Not all of us. How about this one?” She pulled free a more recent crime drama and he nodded his agreement, taking it from her. “Any chance you guys have any more popcorn around here somewhere?”

  “I’ll get it; you get comfy.”

  Drannon stuck the movie in and disappeared while the opening previews were running. She sat down and pulled a blanket over her lap. It was amazing how cold it was here compared to at home. The only time she didn’t feel chilled to the bone was when Drannon had her naked.

  Vin appeared in the doorway with a couple of cans of soda. “D told me what you were watching; do you mind if I watch too?”

  Accepting the soda, she nodded, “Sure, the more the merrier.”

  “Kickass! I love this one. The lead guy reminds me a big of my old cellmate, except that he was guilty and this actor isn’t.” Vin laughed at his own joke, and Lacy looked at him more closely. The dark ink of a tattoo p
oked just above the v-neck of his t-shirt on his chest, and his scalp was perfectly shaved. The combination gave him a bad boy look that certainly didn’t fit the cowboy persona she had in mind for a ranch owner.

  “What did you do?” she asked bravely.

  He popped the top on his can of soda and took a sip before answering. “The first time I robbed a cigarette machine.”

  Lacy prompted, “Excuse me?”

  “The first time I was arrested, I was seventeen, and I didn’t have any money, so I broke into a cigarette machine. They put me in juvy until I turned eighteen. The judge gave me the option of going into the military or going to an adult prison, so Uncle Sam and I got on good terms.”

  “How long were you in the military?”

  “Years. Way too long. The second time I was arrested it was because I put my fist in a guy’s mouth because he was…well, it doesn’t matter anymore. I was excused from the military, and I spent a year in prison before I walked free. The ranch was the only place I had to go to, and Abe wasn’t the kinda guy to judge.” Vin said. He turned away and Lacy let the subject drop, having a new outlook on exactly what kind of ex-cons she was staying with. Drannon had said that Vin went to prison for defending a woman, and he’d just more or less admitted that. She couldn’t hate a man who put his freedom on the line for someone else.

  Drannon reappeared with a big bowl of popcorn just as the movie started rolling, and they settled in for a peaceful afternoon snuggling on the couch. She couldn’t help thinking that it was the best birthday she’d ever had, and certainly the best Valentine’s Day.

  It was almost dinner time when the movie ended, and although Lacy offered to help, the guys insisted she stay out of the kitchen.