Waxing Moon

by H. S. Kim

  “Even a dog needs attending when it’s sick,” Mrs. Wang said. “You will not recover speedily if you don’t take a remedy and, above all, good nourishment. If you don’t have an appetite, take licorice,” Mrs. Wang said, lying down and placing the cushion under her head.

  “I want to leave this house before Mistress Yee has her baby. I can’t be a nanny. I just don’t want to take care of a baby after what I’ve done.” She bit her lip and couldn’t continue, but she didn’t cry.

  “Whatever happened to Min?” Mrs. Wang asked abruptly.

  Mirae widened her eyes and wondered how in the world Mrs. Wang had penetrated her thoughts. “What makes you think I would know anything about him?” she asked awkwardly.

  “I just heard that he had disappeared,” Mrs. Wang said.

  “Oh, that. He is involved with those crazy peasants who meet at night. I’ll bet they drink, mainly, and gamble a little too,” Mirae said.

  “Where is he now?” Mrs. Wang asked, looking into Mirae’s eyes.

  “The gods only know. But when he returns, he will have to face the consequences. Mr. O said we should report to him the moment that Min is sighted,” Mirae said thoughtfully. Her mind drifted back to the time when she had lain with him in the field, some months earlier. It was crazy, she thought, but the more she tried to dismiss the incident, the stronger it flashed back. She had been possessed, she decided: otherwise, she would never have felt anything for a handicapped man. She was now ashamed for having been with him. And she hoped that her secret would remain a secret until she died.

  “Is he the one?” Mrs. Wang asked, her eyes barely open.

  Mirae was stunned. Somehow, she managed to maintain her cool. “The one what, Mrs. Wang?”

  From outside, Nani called, “Mrs. Wang, are you there?” Nani opened the door and informed her that Bok had run to fetch Dr. Choi. She sat, panting, examining the two inside with a friendly but suspecting smile. “Is there anything wrong with Mistress Yee?” she asked matter-of-factly, although inside she was extremely curious about what might be wrong with her pregnant mistress.

  “I almost fell asleep,” Mrs. Wang said, sitting up, “And I would sleep if you could just leave me alone for a minute.”

  “Sorry, Mrs. Wang. It’s just because our previous mistress, you know what happened to her, and I am worried,” Nani said in a monotone.

  Mirae burst out laughing until tears welled up. When she gathered herself, she said, “You are such a fake!”

  “You are the one who is a fake, always getting sick at your convenience. How dare you call me a fake? You get sick every day just when there’s much to do. You think no one notices that? A long tail will be stepped on, sooner or later. I see your scheme!” Nani said vehemently.

  Mrs. Wang cleared her throat and sat up straight, frowning contemptuously. She thundered, “You two, who taught you to behave that way in front of your senior? Don’t you have any manners? Take me to the visitors’ quarters so I can rest.”

  “I am sorry, Mrs. Wang,” Nani said. Then she explained sheepishly that a servant had just started a fire in the heating chamber in the visitors’ quarters; it would take a while to get the floor warm.

  “Prefer to be in a cold room to a coop with squabbling chicks,” Mrs. Wang said.

  “Please forgive me, Mrs. Wang. Dr. Choi will arrive soon. I was just going to bring sweet rice drink. May I give you a back massage?” Nani asked.

  “Do you have anything to say?” Mrs. Wang turned to Mirae.

  Mirae lowered her head and whispered, “Sorry.”

  Mrs. Wang cleared her throat.

  Nani approached Mrs. Wang and began to massage her back. “My mother used to say I was the best masseuse,” she said cautiously.

  “Well, I will go get the rice drink.” Mirae got up.

  But Mrs. Wang said, “I don’t feel like anything sweet right now.”

  “I will bring something else then,” Mirae said and left. “Bitch,” she muttered on the way to the kitchen.

  “So I hear that Min has joined the revolutionists,” Mrs. Wang said.

  “He doesn’t know what he is doing, Mrs. Wang. He is a loner. How could he join any group? He is passing around pamphlets without knowing what they really mean. I read the pamphlet and asked him if he really believed what it said. He just shrugged. He is so . . . so naive!” Nani pressed sharply on Mrs. Wang’s spine. She continued, in a hushed voice, “Do you know what it says in the pamphlets? We are all born equal, and we deserve what the aristocrats deserve. They stole not only what belongs to us but also our right to live like human beings.” She continued to massage and held her breath, waiting for Mrs. Wang’s response.

  “There is time for everything,” Mrs. Wang said quietly.

  An eerie silence hung between them. Nani stopped massaging Mrs. Wang and sat down behind her. “Mrs. Wang, some of them are in jail. Have you heard the news?” Nani asked in a restrained voice.

  “Don’t stop. No, right under my left shoulder. There. That feels good. I have to say, your mother was right when she said you were the best masseuse,” Mrs. Wang said sleepily.

  “Mrs. Wang, do you support this whole thing?” Nani asked, looking at the door.

  “What thing?” Mrs. Wang asked.

  “You know what I am talking about, Mrs. Wang,” Nani said exasperatedly.

  “I never said I don’t,” Mrs. Wang replied.

  “Mrs. Wang, I need your help. May I confide in you?” Nani asked desperately, massaging fast.

  “Slow down, child,” she said.

  At that moment, Mirae came in with a tray holding a few dishes, one of which was leftover yam noodles sauteed with beef strips and vegetables. The nutty aroma of the sesame oil from the dish permeated the air and whetted Mrs. Wang’s already aroused appetite.

  “Please,” Mirae set the tray in front of Mrs. Wang, who, raising her eyebrows, examined the food. “Please help yourself,” Mirae encouraged her.

  Mrs. Wang took a bite of yam noodles. “Don’t just look at me. You have some too,” Mrs. Wang suggested weakly.

  After the snack, Mrs. Wang said that she would need a little rest. Mirae and Nani left the room, and once out of Mrs. Wang’s earshot, Mirae lashed out, “She must breed a bear in her stomach!”

  “She has a great appetite,” Nani said dismissively.

  “She eats more than a cow! Didn’t you see how she licked the whole tray clean?” Mirae shook her head disapprovingly.

  Nani didn’t want to talk behind Mrs. Wang’s back, especially with Mirae. As they arrived at the kitchen, Bok was running toward them. Dr. Choi, he said, had arrived.

  22

  Dr. Choi announced the worst possible scenario in a monotone. It was even worse than Mrs. Wang had anticipated. He ruled out a stillbirth, but because Mistress’s description of shooting pain in her abdomen and other symptoms he didn’t think the baby would be normal. He believed the longer it stayed in the womb, the worse it would get.

  Heartbroken, Mr. O didn’t even ask what Dr. Choi meant by normal. He simply dropped his head, as if stabbed in his heart and whispered in a choking voice that the heavens had plotted the cruelest curse against him, and that he was the most wretched soul on earth, and he should go out in the field and hang himself and let the vultures peck on him. With his shoulders dropped, he walked to his room and locked himself in, refusing to drink or eat or be spoken to.

  Mistress Yee also shut herself in her room, but only after having thrown a fierce tantrum. She didn’t say, though, to leave her alone, so the maids hovered near her door like bees swarming around a beehive, having to listen to her every moan and groan. She was asking herself out loud what had gone wrong, why it had to be her, and, above all, how all this would affect her health. She was frustrated that her husband wasn’t making himself available to comfor
t and console her.

  In the kitchen, Soonyi was brewing the concoction that Dr. Choi had prescribed for Mistress Yee. It would induce contractions. As it was a delicate matter, Mrs. Wang kept coming back to the kitchen to check on the consistency and the color of the brew. “Don’t let it burn,” Mrs. Wang warned firmly. If the brew got too concentrated, then it would work as a tumor-dissolving remedy, and it would eradicate any growth in the body, malignant or benign.

  In the visitor’s quarters, Dr. Choi puffed smoke as Mrs. Wang entered. “It should be done in an hour or so,” she informed him.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Wang. Your service to the whole community is praiseworthy,” he complimented her.

  “I do what I can,” she said shortly.

  There was silence for a brief moment while they both thought about the same thing. And Dr. Choi asked judiciously, “What is your opinion?”

  “The ground is fertile, but the seed is frail,” Mrs. Wang stated boldly.

  His jaw dropped. Mrs. Wang shot him an inquiring glance. He blushed and puffed smoke vigorously, and then he rubbed his temple until it turned red. Finally, he managed to say, “But then the late Mistress Kim proved that he wasn’t the only problem.”

  “She proved nothing as far as I am concerned,” Mrs. Wang said, bristling. “Poor woman. It was partly my fault she died.”

  “How so, Mrs. Wang? You mustn’t say such a thing!” he said emphatically.

  “She was dead when I arrived the night she gave birth to her little girl,” Mrs. Wang admitted regretfully.

  “Then it wasn’t your fault she died,” he said.

  Mrs. Wang didn’t bother to respond. She was distracted. She wondered about Mansong, Mistress Kim’s daughter, who must still be in Jaya’s care. The most recent time she had seen Mansong was at the Harvest Day Festival, up on the hill. How could she have forgotten all about the little girl! She had told herself to keep an eye on Mansong for the sake of Mistress Kim, whose eyes glistened in the dark with immeasurable sorrows, as she had to depart the minute her daughter arrived.

  “Oh, eat your own shit!” she whispered, condemning herself.

  Dr. Choi’s eyes widened and his skin turned white, contrasting with his tobacco-brown teeth. “I beg your pardon?” he asked, almost timidly.

  “Oh, nothing,” she replied, getting up. “I need some fresh air.”

  Outside in the yard, the air was chilly and crisp, but it felt good in her lungs. She strolled through the gate that opened to another walled yard. As soon as she stepped into the yard, she felt the tension in the air. The waxing moon was caught between the naked branches of the persimmon tree on the other side of the yard. Something moved, but Mrs. Wang didn’t know what it was. She approached the stacks of roof tiles near the persimmon tree. Something moved again. She stopped, and the thing behind the roof tiles that had moved also froze. Mrs. Wang cleared her throat and said, “Who’s there?” But no reply came forth. She observed. The shadow against the wall revealed the shape of a person, hunched and bunched up with something, but maybe not just one person. It was none of her business, Mrs. Wang concluded. She turned around to go back to the visitors’ quarters, but a stifled sob broke out feebly. Nani came out and begged, “Please, Mrs. Wang, don’t tell anyone.”

  Mrs. Wang at once realized that Min was there too.

  “He just now arrived, all beaten up. He can hardly walk. But he won’t reveal anything. Please don’t tell anyone that he is here,” Nani pleaded again.

  “If you don’t want anyone to know about it, keep your mouth tightly shut. Now, what is going on in the kitchen?” Mrs. Wang asked.

  “Oh.” Nani thought for a second, and then remembered what was supposed to be happening in the kitchen. “Oh yes. Soonyi is there, keeping an eye on the pot. And Mirae is attending Mistress Yee. Everything is under control.”

  Mrs. Wang stared thoughtfully at the moon and then walked to the kitchen. When she saw Soonyi dozing off in front of the stove, she picked up a wooden spatula to nudge her, but then she changed her mind. Instead, she silently appropriated a half-full jug of quince wine from the tray, of which Mr. O had partaken earlier, and she left the kitchen, walking back to the persimmon tree. She placed the jug by the roof tiles and said, “Let him drink this. It might help alleviate the pain. Sleep is the best remedy when you are in pain with bruises and must not be seen.”

  As Mrs. Wang walked away, she heard Nani whisper “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She went back to the kitchen and bellowed, “What on earth are you doing!” Soonyi sprang up, calling out the names of people she had seen in her dream. Mrs. Wang clucked her tongue and stirred the potion in the earthenware pot on the stove. “Bring me a hemp cloth,” she said.

  Soonyi opened the drawer in the kitchen and produced a brown cloth. “Is this what you want?” she asked hesitantly. Without replying, Mrs. Wang snatched the cloth and placed it on top of an empty ceramic bowl to strain the potion. She poured the scalding tarlike potion onto the loosely woven cloth with the utmost care so that she wouldn’t spill it. Soonyi gagged.

  Mrs. Wang chuckled. “Hand me the wooden spoon,” she ordered her. Soonyi sniffled. “Concentrate,” Mrs. Wang said, firmly.

  “Sorry,” Soonyi said and handed her a wooden spoon.

  “Where is Nani?” Mrs. Wang asked, wringing the cloth out with the wooden spoon.

  “I think she went to the outhouse.”

  “Must have eaten something wrong. It’s taking her a while,” Mrs. Wang commented, giving a last push with the spoon. “There,” she said, exhaling deeply. “Take this to Mistress Yee,” she said, tasting the potion from the earthenware pot with her finger. Soonyi gagged again. “What tastes bitter is good for you,” Mrs. Wang explained.

  Soonyi placed the bowl on a tray and put a rainbow color quilted cover on it.

  “Put the lid on the bowl,” Mrs. Wang said sharply.

  “Sorry,” Soonyi said. She put the lid on and walked out.

  Mrs. Wang followed her. “Mind your steps,” Mrs. Wang grumbled from behind her.

  Nani was coming toward them.

  “You sure take your time in the outhouse,” Mrs. Wang said. “You take the tray and go with me to Mistress Yee. And you,” she said to Soonyi, “Go back to the kitchen and spread out the remains of the potion on a flat basket to air out. We might have to brew it once more if it doesn’t work by tonight.”

  Nani took the tray. When Soonyi was gone, Nani thanked Mrs. Wang. She informed her that Min was in the storage room.

  Mrs. Wang said nothing.

  When they arrived at the door, Mirae announced, “Mistress Yee is sleeping.”

  “Wake her up,” Mrs. Wang said.

  Mirae went inside. A minute later, Mistress Yee screeched, “What do you want?”

  The door opened.

  “Mistress Yee, you will have to drink the potion before it gets cold,” Mrs. Wang said.

  Mirae helped her mistress sit up. “You smell, Mirae,” Mistress Yee complained.

  “It’s probably the potion. Please drink it all at once, and let one of your girls know at the slightest sign of pain or nausea,” Mrs. Wang said.

  Mistress Yee held her nose as Nani neared her with the tray. “Oh, gods. Do I have to drink this?” Mistress Yee asked, screwing up her face. Mrs. Wang ignored her. “Oh, Mother, Father, this stuff stinks like a rotting corpse!” Mistress Yee cried.

  Reluctantly, she drank it. Mrs. Wang left Mistress Yee’s quarters with Nani. In the yard, Bok came and informed Mrs. Wang that Dr. Choi had to leave suddenly because his daughter had contracted food poisoning.

  Mrs. Wang expressed her sympathy, and she told the errand boy to go and tell Mr. O that Mistress Yee had just taken her potion, and that Mrs. Wang was waiting for her contractions to begin.

  “Yes, I will,” the boy repl
ied and trotted away.

  Nani led Mrs. Wang to the visitors’ quarters, but Mrs. Wang said, “I need to go home briefly and take care of my animals.”

  “Mrs. Wang,” Nani began cautiously, “what if Min went to your place early in the morning to feed them. If he could hide at your place for a couple of days . . .”

  Mrs. Wang said nothing at first. Only after they entered the visitors’ quarters did she ask if Min really had a reason to hide.

  “It’s my hunch, Mrs. Wang, that he has done something. He’s been beaten badly. I think he escaped from jail.”

  “Then you shouldn’t wait until morning. Go tell him before dawn to leave the house. If he is being searched for, this is the first place that will be visited.”

  “No one dares disturb Mr. O’s household, especially while the mistress is in this condition. But Min has to hide from Mr. O as well. Mistress Yee says that Min eloped with some girl, and Mr. O says that he will break his legs when he is sighted again in the house,” Nani said quickly and nervously.

  Mrs. Wang thought for a moment and sighed. “Listen carefully. Your boy, I think, is deeply involved with the peasant revolutionary group that talk ceaselessly. But now they are taking action, it seems. In other provinces, some of the peasants have been hanged for their unsuccessful riots. Now the peasants are acting up in the neighboring villages.”

  “But Mrs. Wang, that can’t be. He is deaf and mute. He is ignorant. He isn’t cut out to do things like that. He does only what he is told to do. He is a mule,” Nani protested defensively.

  “He is told to do what he’s been doing. If he is a mule, he isn’t going to change his mind overnight. He can go and hide at my place.”

  “Mrs. Wang, what are we going to do?” Nani cried.