Waxing Moon

by H. S. Kim

  Jaya wiped her eyes and said accusingly, “I am going to kill myself to teach the villagers a lesson. They will be the murderers!” She prayed that she would be reborn a bird, never again a woman, a poor woman. And then she turned around and walked to the twin pine trees. She threw the rope over a branch of one. She tied a knot and stuck her head in so the rope went around her neck. Holding the other end of the rope, she began to pull. She jumped and pulled the rope at the same time, and she felt it suddenly tightening on her neck. She was just slightly above the ground, but it was enough to choke anyone to death.

  Mistress Yee’s carriage was just passing the totem poles, and the servants stopped when they heard the sudden thud coming from over by the twin pine trees. The branch couldn’t endure the weight of a pregnant woman: it broke and Jaya fell on the ground. She was moaning. Nani ran over and found what had happened.

  “Have you lost your mind!” she exclaimed.

  From the carriage, Mistress Yee inquired after the noise and why the servants were stopping. One of them said that there was a woman crying under the twin pine trees. The other said it might be Dubak’s wife.

  “That’s not a reason to stop!” Mistress Yee cried from inside. Her legs had been cramped for so long. She wanted to get home as soon as possible.

  The male servants hollered to Nani to come back as they were walking away.

  “My water broke!” screamed Jaya.

  “Oh no!” Nani didn’t know what that meant, but it seemed like an emergency.

  Nani ran to the male servants and announced that she had to look after Jaya.

  Nani was frightened and asked Jaya if she should run and get Mrs. Wang.

  Jaya said that she would be dead by the time Mrs. Wang arrived. And then she began to scream from the extraordinary pain. Her contractions began and her labor proceeded rapidly.

  Nani trembled for a minute and then calmed down as the contraction momentarily subsided. She had witnessed two births. And she remembered what Mrs. Wang had done with Mistress Yee. Nani pulled a handkerchief out of her sack, folded it into a ball, and stuffed it into Jaya’s mouth.

  Jaya spat it out and said, “What the hell! I am no Mrs. Kim. I will scream as much as I want!” Tears oozed out of the corners of her eyes. “Look, I want you to tie the other end of this rope around the pine tree, will you?”

  Nani did as told, instinctively understanding what it was for. Much sooner than she had anticipated, the pain returned to torture Jaya. Nani offered Jaya her wrist to hold, as she had done for Mistress Kim, but Jaya held onto the rope and pulled it with enough strength to uproot the tree. She screamed like an animal, tormented by an invisible enemy. Nani clenched her teeth and wiped the sweat off Jaya’s forehead and chest.

  “Nani, here it comes! Pull!” Jaya screamed.

  Jaya pushed. The baby’s head emerged. Jaya pushed again. At the third push, the whole bloody boy came out, and Nani caught him. She held the squirming body in her hands. She couldn’t help but shed tears as she carefully wrapped the wet, wrinkled newborn in her handkerchief.

  “Nani, give me the baby and run to my home. Get a pair of scissors and bring them to me,” she said.

  Nani ran. Then she stopped. She didn’t have to go to Jaya’s house. She should just run to the closest house.

  She ran into Quince’s house and yelled, “Anyone home?”

  Quince looked out from her kitchen, unimpressed. “What’s the fuss?” She got up when she saw Nani’s bloody hands and shirt.

  “Jaya had her baby by the twin pine trees. I need a pair of scissors, quick!” Nani said frantically.

  At the mention of Jaya’s name, Quince snorted and said, “I’d be a dog if I helped her.”

  “A dog knows when to bark and when to whimper. If you don’t help a woman who’s just had a baby, you are no better than a dog. Give me a pair of scissors right now or else you won’t be working for Mr. O anymore. And your husband: he just returned from the west coast, escorting Mistress Yee. I will go over now and tell Mistress Yee that he no longer wants to be employed. Should I do that?” Nani shot her an indignant glare.

  Quince laughed. But there was no need to cross Nani. Her large buttocks jiggled as she stepped up on the stone step to her room to see if her sewing box was there. She pulled out a pair of scissors from a woven basket and handed them to Nani. “Calm down, child. Nothing bad is going to happen. Once the baby’s out, the baby’s fine.”

  “Give me a sheet or something to wrap the baby with,” Nani demanded. “I had only a handkerchief.”

  “Sure.” Quince pulled a dry sheet from a clothesline and folded it into a small square. “What did she have?” Quince asked. Her tone was suddenly intimate and interested.

  “It’s a boy,” Nani said, showing mild annoyance.

  Remembering what Mrs. Wang had done, Nani went to the kitchen and dipped the scissors in water briefly. Then she put them in the fire for a few moments until they stopped sizzling. And then she dashed out.

  She cut the umbilical cord, feeling extremely anxious. She didn’t know if it caused the baby or the mother any pain.

  Jaya thanked Nani profusely and cried, remembering how she had tried to kill herself. She thought she would name her son Soseng, Rising from Death.

  Nani walked home feeling proud. Her chest was wet with the sweat of exertion. But there was something that made her chest cold besides her own sweat. She touched it mindlessly and found the jade necklace. She held it in her palm for a moment and said out loud, “My dear boy, I wish you the best of luck.”

  36

  Mistress Yee took a long bath. Soonyi soaped her and washed her hair. The little maid wasn’t up to her standard. She was a delicate sort for a maid, and Mistress Yee had to tell her what to do too many times. No one was like Mirae. She had given up on finding a maid like her. She was history now. But she couldn’t help thinking about her now and then. Leaning back in the wooden tub, she closed her eyes and inhaled the fragrance from the dried iris petals floating in the water.

  “Tell me, Soonyi, where did Master go yesterday?” she asked, her eyes still closed.

  Soonyi, wondering why Mistress Yee didn’t ask him herself, replied, “He went to a meeting at Lord Ryu’s house. A messenger came after breakfast, and Master left when the sun was high.”

  “Tell me, when did he come home?” Mistress Yee asked.

  “Sometime before dinner, Mistress,” she replied timidly.

  “You are such a bore,” Mistress Yee said, opening her eyes. Mirae would have told her all that and much more without her asking. But she didn’t have enough strength at the moment to whack Soonyi.

  After the bath, Mistress Yee returned to her room. She was still very tired. She told Soonyi to go and tell Nani to make beef soup with mung bean sprouts and scallion. “Tell her not to make it too spicy this time,” Mistress Yee said.

  Soonyi lowered her head and dashed out. While walking toward the kitchen, she chanted, “Beef soup with mung bean sprouts and scallion. Don’t make it too spicy.” But when she arrived in the kitchen, she saw Nani in her bloody clothes. “Big Sister! What’s happened to you?”

  Nani smiled and said, “You silly, don’t get excited about every bloody blouse you see. Some blood is a sign of a midwife. I just delivered a baby, Jaya’s baby!” she announced proudly, stretching her chin up and out.

  “Really?” Soonyi gasped.

  “Yep,” Nani said.

  “How was it?”

  “Scary. Interesting,” Nani said. “It wasn’t like the night when Mistress Kim had her baby. Jaya’s baby burst out like . . . chestnuts in the fire. Just like that. I even cut the umbilical cord for her,” she bragged.

  Soonyi stared at Nani, a little awestruck. Then she remembered Mistress Yee’s message. “Oh, Big Sister, Mistress Yee wants beef soup for dinner
,” she said, wondering what it was that Mistress Yee had specified about the beef soup.

  “I need to wash up and change,” said Nani and rushed out of the kitchen.

  Nani undressed in her room, and once again she touched the jade necklace. She took it off. She wrapped it in a cloth and placed it deep in a chest of drawers, among the things that had belonged to her mother. Suddenly, her legs wobbled. She collapsed on the floor and cried silently, missing Min. She couldn’t swallow her own saliva, for her throat ached as if a fishbone had gotten stuck there. Finally, Min wanted her, but she didn’t want him anymore. How did one change one’s mind? If she could only change hers, she would do it and marry him and live happily. But she could not make herself do something she didn’t want to do.

  “Big Sister!” called Soonyi, opening the door. “Sorry,” she said, seeing Nani still half naked and sitting on the floor.

  “Close the door!” yelled Nani. She got up, washed, and got dressed quickly. She fixed her hair, looking at herself in Mistress Kim’s palm-sized mirror. Mirae had taken it from Mistress Kim’s room after she had passed away, and when she was kicked out of the house, she had forgotten to pack it in her bundle.

  “Should I put the water on the stove?” Soonyi asked.

  “No, peel a radish and cut it into small cubes. Peel a few cloves of garlic and crush them too,” said Nani.

  Soonyi was still chopping the radish when Nani arrived in the kitchen. She wanted to make sure that the cubes of radish were identical in size.

  Rolling her eyes, Nani snatched the knife and attacked the radish. She said, “When I’m thirsty, I’m better off if I go and get water instead of lying down on the ground with my mouth open, hoping it will rain. That’s how slow you are.”

  Soonyi peeled the garlic cloves, pouting.

  Nani tasted the first cube of radish and said, “Mmm, this is so sweet. Here, taste it, child.”

  Soonyi opened her mouth and took the radish. “It’s good.”

  “Soonyi, I am sorry I was harsh, but if you want to survive as a maid and be respected you have to know what you are doing. If you wait until your superiors tell you what to do, they get tired of you. My mother used to tell me that you shouldn’t ask the mistress what she would like for dinner; you should tell her what is for dinner. Of course, you have to come up with a dish she will like. But you need to train your superiors to appreciate what you cook and do. Do you understand?”

  Soonyi nodded miserably.

  “By the way, where is Quince? She is supposed to be here by now,” Nani said, frowning. Ever since Mirae had left the house, Quince came in to help with cooking in addition to the laundry she had been doing every other day.

  Nani was now making soybeans in a marinade of rice malt syrup, soy sauce, and sesame seeds.

  “Slice the lotus root paper thin, and when you get a chance, pierce the pine nuts with the pine needles,” Nani ordered her.

  “How many pine nuts?” Soonyi asked blankly.

  Nani looked at Soonyi and sighed.

  “All right, all right,” Soonyi said.

  Quince came in then, and the first thing she said was, “I heard you actually managed to deliver Jaya’s baby!”

  Nani was proud, remembering the moment she had caught the baby. She forgot how frightened she had felt when she first held the slimy creature in her hands.

  “Boy, Jaya was telling us all about how great you were!” Quince said. “I’m late because I took soup to her, and she was raving about you.”

  Nani blushed.

  When the dinner was ready, the three of them carried various dishes on trays to Mistress Yee’s quarters and arranged the dishes on a low table.

  “Soonyi, soup to the right of the rice!” Nani whispered in a restrained voice, setting seven different kinds of sauces right in front of the soup bowls.

  “When are you going to learn, Soonyi? Huh?” said Quince, guffawing like a man.

  “Lower your voice!” Nani admonished her.

  “Nani, do you know what we call you?” Quince asked. Soonyi turned red and fidgeted because everyone, herself included, referred to Nani by her nickname behind her back.

  “Mother-in-law!” Quince said and laughed again boisterously.

  Nani raised her eyebrows fiercely. At any moment, Mr. O would enter with his wife. So Nani bit her lip, suppressed her anger, and focused on the arrangement of the food on the table.

  As they finished arranging the dishes, Mr. O entered. Nani dismissed Quince and Soonyi, who would go back to the kitchen, tidy up, and prepare the night snack. Nani remained to pour drinks and to listen to them fuss about the food and to provide explanations about why some things tasted a certain way and so on. A few moments later, Mistress Yee also entered. She sat with her husband. Nani took the covers from the rice bowls, poured the wine, and moved to the corner where she awaited instruction.

  “So how was the trip?” Mr. O asked Mistress Yee.

  “It was not easy. I thought you would run to me when you got the message that I was sick and therefore delayed,” Mistress Yee said sulkily.

  “When I was a boy, Dr. Choi said that if you had a stomachache from meat it would take a day to recover, but with seafood, if you didn’t die immediately, it would take only one burp. So I was not worried,” Mr. O replied.

  As Mistress Yee lifted her spoon to take a bite of rice, she noticed what was in the beef soup. She placed her spoon back down on the table, and said, “What is this?”

  “What’s wrong?” Mr. O asked, looking over at the dishes on his wife’s side.

  “Come over here, Nani,” ordered Mistress Yee. Her voice was cold and metallic.

  “Yes, Mistress,” Nani said, her neck perspiring.

  “I asked for beef soup with scallion and mung bean sprouts!” Mistress Yee shouted.

  “Mistress, we made a mistake. May I go and make beef soup with scallion and mung bean sprouts now?”

  “And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” Mistress Yee said scornfully. “One is a buffoon and the other a mental case. I really need a new maid,” Mistress Yee complained. “Mirae always did exactly what I told her to do. She never failed to carry out my orders. What is the matter with all three of you? Not one of you girls has a head on her shoulders. I am going to start interviewing some more girls again and pick out a maid myself in a few days,” Mistress Yee said.

  For a while it had seemed taboo to mention Mirae’s name in the house. But lately, Mistress Yee seemed to have forgotten all about why she had let Mirae go. She brought her up occasionally, as though what Mirae had done was not worth holding a grudge about.

  “Leave us alone,” Mr. O ordered Nani.

  Nani got up gladly and left the room, closing the door behind her. But she stayed in the hallway between the room and the anteroom, in case she got called in again. She thought about what Quince had called her. That had come out of nowhere, considering that Nani was very kind and helpful to the other maids and the male servants. She frowned, thinking of Soonyi’s lapse of memory about the beef soup. She was going to pinch Soonyi as soon as she saw her.

  Mr. O rubbed his chin and said, “I am curious. You say that your previous maid always carried out your orders.”

  “She did. She even knew what I was thinking before I opened my mouth,” Mistress Yee said and immediately flushed. “What are you trying to say?” she challenged Mr. O.

  “If she did everything you asked her to do, she must have committed the evil deed according to your will,” Mr. O said calmly, as if he had rehearsed his speech.

  “What do you mean?” A blue river rose on one side of Mistress Yee’s temple.

  “I am just-just asking,” Mr. O said awkwardly. He hadn’t meant to argue with her about Mirae the maid. His mind raced to Mirae the kiseng. His heart quivered and his mout
h dried up at the thought of her touch. The memory was so strong that it felt as though it had just happened.

  “I see what you are getting at.” Mistress Yee snorted. “I didn’t mean to tell you this, but Mirae was in love with you. She wanted to get rid of Mistress Kim, and then me so that she could have you. I tried to awaken her from this impossible dream and lead her to goodness, but she was not made of honest material. She was already knee-deep in the swamp of her vanity. You saw what she had done with your own eyes the night when you were hiding in the room of your beloved first wife! By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask, why were you there in the dead woman’s room?” Mistress Yee asked.

  Mr. O didn’t hear anything but “Mirae was in love with you.”

  “What are you thinking about?” Mistress Yee asked, frustrated at seeing her husband lost in his own thoughts while she was talking.

  “No, no,” he said distractedly.

  “I asked why you were in her room,” she said.

  “Oh,” he said, remembering. “Whatever the shaman said that evening made no sense to me, but I heard her voice. I heard her. Or at least I thought so. And my feet carried me there. I went inside. I sat where she used to sit. I felt the air curdle around my body. Soon I felt suffocated. I thought it was the old, moldy air in the room. But I know it was her. I was scared. I thought she was going to strangle me. I wanted to leave, but then I heard you talking with a maid. I wanted to know why you were there at that hour with a maid,” he said.

  “But you heard everything,” Mistress Yee said.

  “I did,” he said.

  “So what is it? What are you trying to say?” Her voice broke and her face turned miserable and furious.