False Impressions

by Marianne Rice

  “I didn’t realize I said that out loud.”

  “Oh. That’s okay. I didn’t think you really…meant that…” She chewed on her cheek again and toyed with her hands.

  “Damn, Sam.” He took her mouth, roughly this time. She fell sideways on the bed, the sheet coming loose around her chest, and he moved on top of her, touching her skin and kissing deeper, deeper until he touched her soul. He straddled her and pulled back, gently caressing her cheek with his knuckles. “I didn’t know it until now but, yeah, I meant every word. I’m in love with you and it scares the crap out of me.”

  “Really? Because it scares the crap out of me, too.”

  He laughed and laced his hands with hers, stretching her arms above her head. “I’ll figure out what to do about it, but don’t let it scare you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. You have more—”

  “I do. I feel the same. I guess I didn’t realize it until tonight either.” She still didn’t know if she could say the actual words, but she wanted him to know that she did love him.

  “Well, I’ll be damned. What do you suppose we do about our new found love?” His hands skimmed down her arms and then her sides making her squirm from a combination of tickles and heat.

  “I think for starters you should take those jeans off, cowboy. And then we’ll take it from there.”

  * * * *

  Saturday was more than Levi’s fifth birthday, it was the day her family would meet Cole and all of his family. It seemed too serious, too fast, but it really was coincidence. She wasn’t introducing Cole to her family as a boyfriend, but as Levi’s guest and her employer.

  Yeah right. Anyone in the same room as them could easily tell they were involved and crazy about each other. Emma teased her about it all day while helping to decorate the house.

  “You better wipe that glow off your face if you don’t want your family drilling you with questions before they even meet your boyfriend.”

  She told Emma she wasn’t ready to tell her family about Cole. About them being romantically involved. He would be introduced as her employer and a new friend. Explaining why his entire family made up most of the party guests, well, Newhall was a small town and coincidentally the Tucker family owned half of it. Good cover story.

  Cole had to take care of the animals and teach a few lessons and would be late to the party, thankfully. Sam would have time to talk with her family before he came over. Hopefully by then, they’d be distracted with Levi and the five preschoolers he invited from daycare, as well as their other grandchildren, that they wouldn’t notice her crimson face or lovesick eyes.

  Cole had been extremely understanding with her wanting to keep their romantic relationship hush for now. It was too soon and she wasn’t ready to share him, or at least, that’s how she put it. In reality, she knew her brothers would grill him as they did Adam years ago. Granted they were ten years younger and not very tactful back then, but she had no idea how they would handle the situation today.

  Better to err on the side of caution and not bring it up at all.

  The caravan of Irvings showed up promptly at noon, which gave them an hour to spoil Levi and Sam before the partygoers arrived.

  “Oh, Sam, you look radiant! I was so worried about your pale skin at Christmas time but now you’re simply glowing. It must be the fresh New Hampshire air.” Her mother hugged her tightly and passed her on to her father.

  “How’s my baby girl doing in the boondocks?” He scooped her up, lifting her off the ground and kissed the top of her head.

  “Great, Daddy. I really am.”

  “And here’s the birthday boy,” she heard her mother say. “Come give Grammie a big hug.” Levi ran into his grandmother’s arms and giggled as she kissed him all over.

  Next came the tackle hugs from Uncles Shawn and Barrett, Uncle Steven and Aunt Jessica, and giggles from cousins Evan and Sarah. One big happy family—which they truly were. The Irvings made themselves comfortable by wandering around the small house, checking the plumbing, wiring, and woodwork.

  Sam rolled her eyes. “Give it a rest for one day, will you?”

  “I’m impressed, kid. When I came up here years ago with Adam this place was a mess. You’ve done a lot of work in the past nine months.” Steven draped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “I can see I’ve trained my little Jedi well.”

  “Ha!” Shawn snorted. “All you do is sit around and draw pretty little pictures of houses. I’m the carpenter who trained Sam how to do all this. Did you see the tile in the kitchen? And the cabinets? I’m the one who taught her how to do real work.” His blue eyes twinkled as he pushed his much larger brother out of the way and draped his arm possessively around his sister.

  “You’re both sissies,” Barrett said, pulling her away from Shawn. “Anyone can google how to lay tile and refinish some woodwork. It takes skill and patience to rewire an old place like this. One mistake and the whole place would burn down. I checked your fuse box. Looks good. Nice recessed lighting you added in the kitchen too. Proud of you, squirt.”

  Out of all the brothers, Levi resembled Barrett the most. They had the same sandy blond curls and even though Barrett’s eyes were blue and Levi’s dark brown, they had the same shape and same silly expressions. Maybe it was because he was the youngest brother that she felt closer with him than Steven and Shawn. They acted more like her protectors and never really played with her growing up.

  Levi had taken Evan and Sarah up to his room to show them around while the men made idle chat—mostly about construction—in the living room. Evette made herself at home in the kitchen chopping vegetables and fruit for the platters while Sam finished making the deli plate.

  “Now that your father and brothers are out from underfoot, tell me what I really want to know.”

  “What do you mean, Mom?”

  “Oh, stop that foolishness. I’m your mother. I know these things. You’ve been looking at that clock for the past forty minutes and I know it’s not because you’re excited for the party.”

  “I am excited, Mom. I always have fun at Levi’s parties.”

  “No, not always,” her mother muttered.

  That was true. It wasn’t until Levi’s third birthday party that she showed much of any interest, and it was only because he was old enough to appreciate it and old enough to catch on to her depression. His fourth birthday had actually been the only one so far where her heart wasn’t laden with sadness. With his birthday being so close to the memorial day of her husband and daughter, it took the joy out of the occasion. But yes, her mother was right, this year was different.

  “I have friends. Two girlfriends. Three, actually, if you count Emma’s mom. She’s pretty young, and I really like her a lot, too. Levi is quite taken with their whole family, so they’ll all be here.”

  “Yes, you’ve told me about your girlfriends. And about Ms. Mimi from daycare. Levi has told me stories on the phone and on Skype as well. But you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

  Busted. Levi must have mentioned Cole on the phone. She would often leave him in front of the computer to Skype with his grandparents, and she didn’t always listen in. She’d grown used to tuning him out since every story was typically about one superhero or another. But he must have mentioned Cole.

  “Emma’s fiancé Mason is coming as well. And you know his twin brother is my boss. Cole will be by later after work.”

  “Yes, dear. You’ve given me the run-down on the guest list a few times. Anything else you want to tell me?” Evette put down the chopping knife, wiped her hand on a towel and turned toward Sam. She reached out and clasped hands with her daughter and sighed. “I want you to be happy, darling. And I think you are. I’d love it if you’d share your happiness with me.” The tears in her mother’s eyes did her in.

  Sam stepped forward and hugged her mother. “Oh, Mom.” She sniffed, not wanting to cry. “I am happy. Really happy. But I don’t want the boys interfering. This is all new, and I don’t wan
t them to scare off Cole. We had a…slow start, and we’re starting to figure things out now.”

  “I’m glad you had a slow start. If he’d rushed you, I wouldn’t have any respect for the man. Levi really likes him.”

  “Yeah. The feeling is mutual. They’re two peas-in-a-pod, those two. He’s been really good for Levi since he doesn’t have his uncles around. I’m afraid of him getting too attached. This thing with Cole and me…it’s different. And it’s my first. I don’t know how it’s going to end, but I don’t want Levi hurt.”

  “Who says it’s going to end?” Evette hugged Sam again. “You’ve always known how to pick them. Maybe Cole is your second chance at happiness?”

  “I hope so, Mom. I really do.”

  * * * *

  Normally, making a grand entrance was right up his ally, but his knees buckled like a newborn colt as he walked up the steps to Levi’s birthday party. The tiny driveway and road were lined with cars, three of which donned Connecticut license plates. Nothing like meeting the family of the one you loved.

  Cole rang the doorbell but heard the screech of children laughing out back. Mother Nature had blessed them on the second day of April with a perfect sixty degree spring day. Most of the snow had already melted, with the exception of where large snow banks had once been. He was glad he left Levi’s birthday gift here the night before. Hopefully Levi liked it.

  Figuring everyone was outside and unable to hear the doorbell, he turned to walk to the back of the house as the front door opened.

  “You must be Cole,” said a petite woman with a striking resemblance to Sam. “And don’t you look like the spitting image of your brother. Please, come in.” She stepped back and gestured for him to enter.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Irving. Sam has told me so much about you.”

  “Please, call me Evette. We’re all friends here.” She studied him closely with a knowing smirk on her face. Maybe Sam couldn’t contain her secret and proclaimed her undying love for Cole to her entire family.

  “Sounds like the kids are enjoying the party.”

  “I’d say. The highlight seems to be your present.”

  “I’m glad the kids are having fun.”

  “That was quite the gift you gave my grandson.” She crossed her arms and raised her chin. “Made his grandparents and uncles look pretty bad, you know.”

  “Oh. Sh-oot. I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t mean to—”

  “I’m only teasing you.” She laughed. “I’m glad my grandson and daughter have someone up here to spoil them so. It pains me to be so far away from them, but I can sleep better at night knowing there’s someone in Newhall to watch over them.”

  He swore her eyes twinkled. Cole gulped and nodded.

  “Mom! Are you in here? Levi is ready for cake and—Hi. I didn’t hear you drive up.” Sam stopped in the doorway and looked from Cole to her mother. Her lips quirked to the side, and he knew she was chewing on her cheek and wondering about their conversation.

  “I’ll gather all the troops, Sam,” Evette said as she patted her daughter’s arm and quickly walked out of the room.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey.”

  “I think your mother knows.”

  “Yeah, I told her, but not my dad or brothers. I think Emma and Betsy are taking care of that.”

  “Sorry. I should have told them to keep quiet.”

  “No, it’s okay,” she said as she hesitated then walked toward him. “And by the way, your gift is way too extravagant. I’m going to work extra hours off the clock to pay you back for that.”

  “First of all, no it wasn’t. Second, I know you don’t clock in all the hours you put in, and third, I have some creative ideas of what you can do off the clock to pay for the toy.”

  “Toy? It’s a motorized Batmobile! Levi’s been driving that thing around the yard for the past hour. We’re having some serious talks about sharing. He hasn’t opened a single gift since he spotted that car behind the shed.”

  “You look cute,” he said, taking in her jean-clad legs and tight red T-shirt.

  She scrunched her nose. “You’re changing the subject. Cute? That’s the best you can do? Why not sexy? Ravishing? Incredibly hot?”

  “Because,” he said, kissing the frosting off her nose, “then I’d be thinking things about you that I shouldn’t be thinking about at a kid’s birthday party. And your three older brothers and father would beat me up. For now, you’re cute.”

  “Well, I think you’re a stud muffin. Especially after giving my son the best birthday gift ever. Now we’d better go outside before my over-protective brothers come looking for you.”

  * * * *

  Exhausted from her scalp to her toenails, Sam leaned against the counter watching Emma wash the last of the party dishes. Mason and Cole were on the couch watching a Red Sox game while her parents were upstairs putting a very happy five year-old to bed.

  “Normally I’d put up more of a fight, but I have to admit, I’m so grateful for all your help cleaning up. Mom is too, I’m sure. She’s had a case of serious Levi withdrawals, but she would have done the Mother of the Year thing and cleaned up instead of playing with her grandson if you weren’t around to pitch in.”

  “You’re pretty lucky to have such a doting mother.”

  “Yeah. I am. But I can say the same to you as well.”

  “Yup, sure can. Someday I’d love to swap mom stories with you. In a few years, I hope Mason and I have children and I’ll need some serious parenting advice. I don’t know how my mom and you do it. The single mom thing. It’s gotta be rough.”

  “We work with the cards we’ve been dealt. Some people have better hands than others.”

  “You were dealt a crappy deal, that’s for sure. Sorry,” Emma said, turning off the faucet. “I didn’t mean for that to sound so insensitive. I can’t imagine going through what you have. If anything ever happened to Mason…sorry. Insensitive again. There go my size tens down my throat again.”

  “I actually appreciate your candidness. For too many years people walked on eggshells around me. Yeah, my life sucked for a long time, but I’m finally happy again.” Sam blushed thinking about Cole and the life he brought back into her world.

  Emma reached over and hugged Sam. “I’m so happy Cole found you. And Mason is thrilled to have his brother back. You wouldn’t believe how messed up he was before you came along. He’s actually back to his old self…the self before his accident and minus all the alcohol. But I guess the DUI charge, nearly killing himself, and all that therapy was exactly what he needed to—”

  “Sweetheart? I don’t mean to interrupt, but Levi is out cold and Dad and I are going to head out now.”

  Sam didn’t fully hear her mother. She was still processing what Emma had said about Cole’s alcoholism and his drunk driving. The burning volcano in her chest filled with fury and grief before dropping to her toes and erupting inside her throat, clogging her passageway. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. He’d made a fool of her by giving the false impression of his saintly-hood.

  Not once in the six months since she met him had he ever had a sip of alcohol. That was one thing that appealed to her, but to learn it was because he was an alcoholic! She felt violated. Made a fool of. The rat bastard lied and took advantage of her knowing all along that alcohol had killed her family, and he stood by, charming her with his smile and his stupid pick-up lines all the while covering up his own alcoholism.

  “Sam? Do you feel okay? You’re pale as a ghost.” Evette put the back of her hand on Sam’s forehead. “Honey, you’re awfully clammy. You must be exhausted. I’ll clear out the house for you and help you to bed.”

  “No, Mom. I need a little air. That’s all. I’ll walk you out.” Her vision blurred and she steadied her breath and moved one foot in front of the other until she reached the front door.

  “I’ll take care of that lump on your couch, Sam. Thanks for an awesome party. You have an adorable son and
an awesome family. I enjoyed meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Irving.”

  “Oh, for goodness sakes. Call us Samuel and Evette.” She patted Emma’s hand.

  After a round of hugs, everyone but Cole left. She didn’t make eye contact with him while her parents said their goodbyes. She would have told him off right then and there, but she didn’t want her parents to have to endure the pain of seeing their daughter hurt once again.

  He stood on the front steps next to Sam and waved to her family. The arrogant fraud thought he could swoop right in and make himself part of her family.

  “Finally. I never thought I’d have you to myself,” he whispered in her ear.

  His voice always had a way of sending a shiver down her spine, but this time the shiver was of repulsion.

  “Get your damn hands off me.” Sam turned and swatted his hands off her shoulders. “Don’t ever, ever touch me again!” She backed away, but he matched each of her steps.

  “What? Sam? Are you okay?”

  “Am I okay? Am I okay? Are you freaking kidding me? Of course I’m not! You’ve made a damn fool of me in front of my family, and you want to know if I’m okay?”

  “Babe, I don’t know what—”

  “Don’t you dare babe me. I want you gone. Now. Get the hell out of my life.” She turned to go inside, but he was too quick, grabbing on to her wrist and forcing her to turn and face him.

  “You’re serious? Will you at least give me the decency of telling me what the hell I did to piss you off?”

  “Decency?” She snorted. “Mr. False Impression, that’s what you are. You come in here camouflaged as a knight in shining armor but all you are is a snake. You killed my husband and baby girl. You’re just like Fred Carson.”

  “Who the hell is Fred Carson? And what the hell are you talking about?”

  His grip remained solid on her wrist even as she tried to yank it away. Years of built up anger filled her lungs as she catapulted her piercing words his way. “His friends described him as a great guy. The funny guy. His wife didn’t think he had a drinking problem. No, he liked to have fun. So much fun that he forgot you shouldn’t go on a joyride after drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels. So much fun that he forgot to stop at the red light. So much freaking fun that he took my whole life away from me in a matter of seconds! And you! You’re just like him!” She yanked her wrist away and wiped her wet cheeks.