False Impressions

by Marianne Rice

  No, it wasn’t fair for her to bring everyone down. She wouldn’t be that type of friend. The one who couldn’t be happy for those around her if she didn’t have a boyfriend. She would be supportive and do her part in making Emma’s bachelorette party super fun. Sam smiled at Meg, who kept glancing her way, and prayed she could keep up her façade.

  The suite was the most luxurious room she’d ever seen. Connor and Meg insisted on paying for the room and all the spa treatments. Paige and Sam were adamant that they’d at least pay for the meals. It was to be a weekend of pure bliss, and Sam intended on enjoying every minute of it. No matter how much it hurt.

  “Emma and Paige, why don’t you check out the hot tub. Sam and I will be down in a few minutes.”

  They readily agreed and slipped out of the suite. Sam slipped on her flip-flops and pulled a wrap over her swimsuit. “Don’t tell me you have another surprise planned for Emma. You’re spoiling her rotten,” Sam teased.

  “Actually.” Meg smiled and gestured Sam over to the sitting area. “I wanted to talk with you alone before the weekend craziness starts.”

  “Oh,” Sam said, an uneasy queasy sensation flooded her belly.

  “Please tell me to mind my own business, but as your friend, as a mother, as someone who has come from a very troubled past, I wanted to let you know that I’m here for you if you need someone to confide in.”

  Sam looked down at her lap and swallowed down her emotions. “Oh, I’m fine,” she said and looked at Meg. Not at her eyes, eye contact was futile, but at the picture behind her head. “I’m really happy for Emma.”

  Meg scooted closer and brushed a loose curl from Sam’s face. “I know you’re hurting, and I don’t know why, it’s none of my business. I know you and Cole broke up. Trust me, his family has been trying to meddle, but he’s not talking either, which isn’t like him. Whatever happened between the two of you isn’t anyone else’s business, but if you want to talk…I’m all ears. I’m not going to pretend to understand your pain, but know I’m here, as a friend, as a mother, if you want to talk.”

  Sam looked down again and nodded. Spending every waking day of her high school career with Adam and marrying not long after graduation didn’t give her an opportunity to make many girlfriends. She didn’t want them, didn’t need them back then. And when he died, she regretted not having a girlfriend to confide in and eat ice cream and cry over a bottle of wine with.

  Even now her girlfriends weren’t really her friends. They were Cole’s family who had taken her under their wing in hopes he’d settle down. Once he moved on, so would they.

  As if reading her mind, Meg hugged her. “And we’ll always be your friends. Whether you and Cole are together or not. Understood?”

  She nodded again but didn’t do anything to stop the tears that escaped and rolled down her cheeks and made a puddle on Meg’s shoulder.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. Not knowing where to start, she blurted out, “My husband and daughter were killed by a drunk driver.” Meg tensed, but only for a moment. She continued to hold Sam and stroke her back, not pressuring her for more information. “I was nine months pregnant with Levi. I asked Adam to take Abby out of the house. I was agitated with her all day. They left. A few hours later a police officer showed up at my door.” Sam choked back more tears. The second part of her story was as painful as the first. “I didn’t know Cole was an alcoholic. That he’d been arrested for DUI.”

  Meg tightened her embrace. “When I was fifteen, I was raped by the high school quarterback.”

  “What?” Sam gasped and pulled away.

  “I had Emma when I was sixteen. I never told anyone I was raped. I felt foolish. Anyway, when I moved to Newhall and met Connor, A.K.A. Mr. Hot Shot Football player, let’s just say…I didn’t welcome him with open arms.” She wiped the tears from Sam’s face with her sleeve and stroked her head like a mother would. “I fought falling in love with him. He represented everything I despised. And reminded me too much of Emma’s father. In fact, they played football together in the NFL.”

  “Oh my God, Meg.”

  “But I love him and know what happened to me back then had nothing to do with Connor. It took a while for me to figure it out and to forgive him for being…Connor, but I’m so glad I did.”

  Meg stood and searched through her purse pulling out a package of tissues

  “So you’re saying I need to forgive Cole for lying to me? Not telling me he was an alcoholic even though he knew what happened to my family?”

  “No, I’m not saying that at all. No one can tell you what is right for you, Sam.”

  Her heart logged itself in her throat, and she blew her nose, wondering if she blew hard enough would her heart fall in her lap as well. It didn’t.

  “How did you know?”

  “About Connor?”

  “No, about Cole. And me.”

  “I didn’t. Levi told us your daughter and husband died. I didn’t know how and couldn’t imagine the suffering you’ve had to deal with.” Meg wiped her eyes. “It makes my tragedy seem much less catastrophic. I can’t imagine losing a child.” Again Meg hugged Sam. The comforting arms, those of a mother and close friend, were calming.

  Sam leaned back against the couch and dabbed her eyes, which were mostly dry. “She’d be eight years old. I imagine what she would look like. It used to be really hard to see my niece, they were only five months apart, but I’m okay now. But I haven’t been able to forgive the driver. The memories were too much for me in Connecticut, which is why I moved away. I needed to start a new life. One where I could make it on my own. One that didn’t have so many haunting memories. But when I found out about Cole…”

  “You lost all trust in him. I understand. And I agree. He should have been honest with you from the beginning. What has he said about it? Why didn’t he tell you?”

  Sam covered her face with her hands. “Nothing. After I found out I kicked him out of my life and told him to never come near me again.”

  “Oh.”

  She hadn’t given him a chance to defend himself. Not that there was anything for him to say. But still, she’d been rude. If she was going to live in the small town, befriend his sisters-in-law and mother, she needed to be on somewhat friendly terms with him. Especially since he was her boss. Yeah, she’d need to find a different job as well. But Sam wasn’t the type of person to stew. Their romantic relationship was definitely over, but she could act civil around him. Monday morning she’d call her boss and establish new terms for their relationship.

  Upset at herself for spending too much time moping when it was her friend’s bachelorette party, Sam popped up from the couch. “Okay, hot tub time. This weekend is about Emma. I’m not going to bring her down.”

  “Oh, Sam, don’t ever think you would. She’d understand. She cares about you a lot and knows that whatever happened between you and Cole, well…she’s very close to Cole, but she’s siding with you on this one, one hundred percent. Even though she doesn’t know what the fight was all about.”

  “I’ll tell her after the wedding. I want this weekend and next to be the happiest in her life.”

  “You’re an amazing woman, Sam. Now let’s go hot tubbing.”

  * * * *

  “You have got to be kidding me.”

  This had turned out to be one of the lamest bachelor parties in history. It actually embarrassed him to call it that. Cole guessed that was what happened when you went out with three guys who were whipped.

  They spent two hours at a Texas Hold ’em table and then the man of the hour said he wanted to relax a little in the pool. They were at freakin’ Foxwoods, and they were supposed to be celebrating his brother’s last weekend of being a bachelor. Where were the strippers? The drinks? Not that he wanted any, but he sure as hell wanted to liquor up his brother.

  Connor, Walker, and Mason sipped on a few beers while at the card table, but all in all, the night sucked. He contemplated ditching the pansy-asses and joining in a poker
tournament, but this weekend was about his brother, so he dutifully followed suit.

  And speaking of suits, none of them brought swim trunks, so after a quick stop in one of the stores, they changed in their suite and headed down to the pool.

  Cole had been to his fair share of bachelor parties. Hell, the one he threw for Connor a few years back was more exciting than this, and all they did was hang out at the fishing cabin. Granted they had coolers full of beer, steaks on the grill, and a surprise visit from a voluptuous stripper posing as a police officer attempting to break up their party.

  Nope. No nearly naked ladies at this bachelor party. He picked up his pace, not understanding why the three men were nearly running down the hallway to the pool area. The hell if he was going to be the downer of the party. Determined to liven things up a little, he pushed his way through his buddies, wrenched open the door to the pool and screamed, “Cannon ball!” He looked over his shoulder catching a quick glimpse of four lovely ladies and nearly naked flesh sitting in the hot tub.

  She caught him off guard and took his breath away. Well, maybe the water did that, but he came up for air, choking and spitting out buckets of chlorinated water.

  The laughter from the peanut gallery told him he did his job of bringing life back to the solemn crowd.

  “Woo hoo, Cole! Nice one. Way to impress the ladies,” Connor yelled.

  “I didn’t know there would be ladies here.” He scowled, hoisting himself out of the pool and storming over to his big brother. “You didn’t tell me your women were here. Had I known I would have…”

  “Yeah?” Connor smirked and tossed him a towel.

  Cole looked behind him where Mason had made himself nice and cozy in the hot tub, Emma straddling his lap, completely oblivious to everyone around them. Walker and Paige sat side by side and their stupid grins were enough to make him gag.

  “What exactly would you have done? Found some two-dollar hooker? Ignored your twin brother on his bachelor party night?”

  “Foxwoods doesn’t have two-dollar hookers.”

  “Oh? And you would know that how?”

  “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

  “No, actually, Cole. I haven’t a freakin’ clue what you mean. You confuse the hell out of everyone around you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to join my gorgeous wife in the hot tub.”

  “I do mind. And I thought this was a bachelor party, not a love fest.”

  “Mason’s idea. His and Emma’s conditions were that we’d have the bachelor and bachelorette party at the same place. But we’re sleeping in our separate suites. No hanky-panky for the lovebirds until their wedding night.”

  “Emma’s idea, I’m sure.”

  “Yup. But those rules don’t apply to me.” Connor grinned and walked over to his wife, planting a slow kiss on her lips before sliding into the hot tub.

  Cole stood alone and watched the couples in the hot tub. Everyone looked happy except Sam. She sat on the edge of the hot tub, her feet dangling in the steamy water. It seemed she didn’t know where to advert her eyes. Mason and Emma were oblivious to the world around them while Paige and Walker kept things fairly PG. Meg shook her head “no” to Connor but her smile clearly said, “yes.” And then there stood Cole by himself, looking like a drowned rat.

  Sam stood and he took in every inch of her skin. He’d loved her body covered in jeans, work boots, and flannel. He’d stumbled over his words when she draped her body in a cute dress. And he’d nearly dropped dead of a heart attack when she stripped out of his Bruins jersey and revealed the outfit God gave her. Now, standing donned in a two-piece red bikini was almost more than he could handle. Especially with the beads of water dripping down her chest and pooling in her belly button. He wanted to MapQuest the drops that continued to race down her torso and take the route down to her bikini bottoms before exiting down her legs. Yeah. He needed to head in that direction again.

  Soon.

  As if in slow motion, she sauntered—yeah, slowly sauntered—over to him. He watched the slight jiggle of her breasts as she came closer and closer. Dropping his towel in front of his shorts, he attempted to sound casual.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi,” she replied.

  They stood facing one another, but both looked down at their feet. Her dainty red toes looked completely incongruous next to his.

  “I take it you’re surprised to see us as well?”

  “You didn’t know…” She looked up, but only to stare at his chest. Still no eye contact.

  Conscious of where her gaze was, he flexed his chest muscles—yeah, he was such a guy. “No, not until I was mid-air making an ass of myself.”

  She actually smiled. It was hard to tell with her face lower than his, but he could see the shape in her cheeks change. And speaking of cheeks, he really wanted her to turn around so he could see the full effect of the bathing suit.

  Not knowing what to do or say, they stood in silence, only the low murmuring sounds from their traitorous family could be heard in the background.

  “Do you…uh, wanna hang out in the hot tub?” He sounded like he was fifteen, for God’s sake.

  “No, I was getting too warm.”

  “Oh.”

  So now what? He couldn’t stand so close to her and not betray the bulge in his trunks for much longer. A cold shower would work. Or better yet, they could head up to his suite…

  She turned away and his heart dropped, but when she looked over her shoulder and cast a shy smile his way inviting him to follow, it jumped back into place again and beat precious blood back into his body. Unfortunately, most of that blood headed south. Ouch. He watched the slight sway of her hips and the way one side of her red suit inched higher and higher revealing more of the glorious globes on her backside. She had no idea how sexy she was.

  Sam waded into the pool and sat on one of the built in benches. The water wasn’t cold, but it would hide his obvious reaction to her. Cole glanced at the hot tub groupies; all but Meg were oblivious to him and Sam. She winked at him and returned her attention to her husband. That was a good sign, right? If Sam really hated his guts she would have told the girls and Meg would be protecting her.

  He slid into the water and sat an arm’s distance away from her. She gently kicked her feet back and forth in the water. Her fidgets betraying her nervousness. Nervous was better than angry.

  “Cole, I—ˮ

  “You don’t have to—ˮ they both said at the same time.

  “You first,” he said.

  Sam nodded and moved her hands back and forth under water. “I’m not sorry for what I said to you, but I apologize for not giving you a chance to speak.”

  He’d expected her to lay more guilt on him. “I don’t really know what to say. You were, I mean, you are right. I lied to you.” He twisted in his seat so he faced her, even if she wasn’t looking up at him. “I didn’t do it intentionally. At first, it was something I tried to keep private from everyone. It’s not something I like to announce to people. And then when you told me about your daughter and…husband well, I saw the hurt and didn’t want to cause any more to your load. I thought I was doing you a favor.” He licked his lips, waiting for her to argue with him. “Once we…once we started getting closer, I honestly didn’t think about my alcoholism much. It wasn’t that I was keeping it a secret. I never thought about it. But every so often guilt did creep up and I tried to work up the courage to tell you. I’m a coward and I apologize.”

  Sam snorted, but he chose to ignore it. “I was in a pretty deep depression right before I met you. I thought my life was over. It wasn’t the alcohol I craved, but the attention, having a good time…hooking up. I let it control me. But when I met you I stopped thinking about all of that other stuff. I stopped needing it.”

  “And now it’s my fault you’re back to your old ways?”

  “What the hell? Who told you that?” He splashed water as his hands made an angry slash through the air. Damn small town rumors.

&
nbsp; “If I was the reason you didn’t need to drink, and we’re…” she waved her hand in the air, “no longer together, then what’s stopping you from drinking now?”

  She had a point. Had he been a raving alcoholic, he’d have resorted back to the bottle. Knowing he didn’t need alcohol, even when he’d reached the lowest point in his life, he smiled. Cole stuck his foot out and casually bumped it against hers. “You.”

  Pulling her foot away from him, she looked at him for the first time. “What do you mean? I’m no longer in your life.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, there’s no escape. You’re in my life. You’re the one who made me realize I never needed alcohol. The past few weeks have been really rough, but I never once craved a drink. I only craved you.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that. So if you can’t have me you’re going to the bottle?”

  “No. Shit. This isn’t coming out right. I didn’t mean for it to sound like the pressure is on you. It’s not. You have a way of making me realize a lot of stuff about myself. And I’ll be forever thankful whether we’re romantically involved or not.”

  Sam stuck her leg out again and waved it under water. He let his leg float and it accidentally bumped hers from time to time. She didn’t pull away.

  “I’ve decided to forgive you, Cole.”

  “Oh, Sam—”

  “No.” She held up her hand to stop him. “I love your family. I like my job. We need to keep a professional relationship, but I can’t be…I can’t be romantically involved with you anymore. It hurts too much. I’d like to be friends, though.”

  Friends with benefits? He wanted to tease, but now was not the time. Besides, he didn’t want friends with benefits. He wanted all of her. For now he’d have to accept the “friends” status and hope to win her over again.