by Melanie Rose
I tried to interrupt and tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but he kept right on going. “The choices we make in life not only affect and impact ourselves, but all those around us. We are all connected even though we are separate. This is what ultimately happened to you. You were thrown off course when you were too young to realize and correct it. For instance, let us begin with the careless driver that originally killed Jay. That poor man decided to turn left instead of right altering his path, which altered Jay’s, which ultimately altered yours and so on and so on. Are you following me so far?” he asked, making sure I was keeping up.
“Jay really wasn’t supposed to die that particular night then. I was right or you were right. You helped me change all that. We saved him, didn’t we… did that corrected things then? Is Jay really alive after all?”
“Yes… he is well. Jay was where you needed to begin your journey of redemption. Wishes are not granted, Jasmine. They are EARNED! You must first prove yourself worthy and I am happy to say that you have passed your test well beyond my expectations. You see… even a smart mouthed, defiant little girl such as yourself; can really surprise you, if only given the chance. You made the ultimate decision to save Jay, not I. Over the past year, you continued to make smart choices instead of abuse it. Your actions… have not gone unnoticed. You helped others along the way and not just yourself. You aided many to overcome their shortcoming. You stayed true to your vows regardless of how much heartache Diego caused you or how much temptation Jay set in front of you. You were even willing to raise another woman’s child as your own. You have sacrificed a lot in your short life…punished yourself enough for circumstances beyond your control and I’m here now, to set things right if that is what you choose.”
“But what about Jay and… my kids… KJ?” I said, starting to choke up again.
“Do not fear… they will all be where they were truly meant to be. Jay and the kids were only there for a short time to help lighten your soul… to lift you higher. You needed them to find your way home again… to rid yourself of the armor you have been shielded yourself with. Allowing you to be set free from your past burdens. They were preparing you for what is still to come.
We never know how someone we meet will influence our lives. Sometimes they’re around for years, but sometimes only minutes… special someone’s intertwined throughout our existence. A random act of kindness… lending someone a help in hand… a quick word of advice or encouragement has the power to dramatically change a person in a heartbeat.
Let me give you a taste of its power. Tannon was supposed to meet the man who would have become his mentor, whom would have changed his life, and gotten him off the streets instead of meeting you that night at the carnival. Just your warm smile led him off course. He sensed something in you… a kindness like none he had ever known before. He only wanted to be a part of your world, but that was what led to his ultimate demise.
Then there is Luke. He was thrown in there just for your own peace of mind, so you could hear for yourself… what he truly thought of you. I don’t think you even realize the impact you have on others… on how they always gravitate towards you. You never could see yourself clearly. You always have been and forever will be… humble.
You were put in past situation to prove yourself. To see what you would do with the opportunity if you could do it all over again. What things you would change, what things you would keep the same. Who you would help along the way and how? This brings us full circle back to the here and now.
For passing your test, your days of suffering are over. You are here by granted a chance to set things right. Are you ready to live the life you were supposed to? I know it is hard, but you must not worry about anyone else and focus on yourself for just a moment. Everything will revert back to how it was meant to be, as if your path was never changed to begin with. Can you accept a new future, when you don’t know what it will be? Can you step into a world, when you have no former knowledge of it, no preparations made, and no prior research done beforehand? Jazz, is the prize to great for you? I’m going to need an answer now, my dear,” my dad finally concluded.
“WHAT! I don’t even get to think about it. You’re asking me to blindly trust FATE! That’s only led me to disappointment and misery in the past.” The clock was ticking; I could see that clearly in my father’s eyes.
This was my true test.
All the traveling back in time was to prepare me for this very moment. If he had asked me that question a year ago, my answer would have been completely different... because I was different. I was shut down and empty. My guess was, I wouldn’t have even of made it this far. I would have brushed it off as insanity a long ass time ago.
I had come so far and changed so much, that I couldn’t see myself ever returning to my old former life. I was simply not that person anymore. I was never meant to be that person to start with. I was a leader, not a follower. I was strong, not weak and I knew what my final choice would be. I sought no ones approval! The choice was mine and mines alone to make. I wasn’t scared and I wasn’t worried. I trusted my father completely and knew he would never hurt me, but most of all, I trusted ME. I knew who I was again. I had finally broken free from the shadows and found… MYSELF.
With newfound confidence, I proclaimed, “I’m ready. I am ready to truly live my life… my real life. Dad… please send me home… back to where I really belong,” I said, straightening my spine, confident that I was doing the right thing.
“I am so proud to see how much you’ve grown as a person. Remember, my daughter that things will be how they were meant to be, not only for you, but also for all those around you. Your choice will also correct the paths of many, not just your own. Live life to the fullest and remember to quit looking back. The past is the past. Let old wounds heal and find forgiveness for those that have forsaken you.
This is the last stretch of your journey. Release yourself from the hard cocoon that you have created and emerge a beautiful, soft butterfly. You will jump through time no more. You will have no memory of who you used to be. Jasmine Rain Wynn… do you accept your fate… whatever it may be?”
For the third time in my life, I uttered the words, “I Do!”
Third times a charm is what they say, right?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MY NOSE TWITCHED FROM THE smell of hospital stench again.
Great. Just bloody great!
They should go ahead and rent me out a private room since I’m here so much. Thank goodness, I have decent health insurance or else I would be up to my eyeballs, swimming in medical bills.
It cannot be good sign to start my new future off in the hospital, can it? What exactly did I get myself into?
“Rain, did you fall asleep on me?” Tyce asked.
I popped my eyes open in case my ears were playing tricks on me. I was right about being in a hospital bed, but to my utter disbelief, Tyce was by my side. I just stared at him as he stared back at me for what felt like an eternity. Grabbing him and yanking him close. I squeezed with all my might. My eyes started to leak uncontrollably as new memories flooded my mind of our life together. Gasping between sobs, I tried to get some kind of words to form, letting him know what I have always longed to tell him.
“What is it? What’s wrong? What’s with the crocodile tears, huh?” he said as if I was being silly as he pulled back and tucked my wild hair behind my ears.
And there it was… just like that… the thing I had waited half my life to see again. There before me, in all their glory…I could see the love in his mocha-brown eyes once more. If I was ever unsure about what I meant to him before this moment, there was no longer any doubt in my mind that he loved me with every fiber of his being. That love seared right through me as it burned away every insecurity that I had ever possessed.
“Oh Tyce… I knew it would be you. I’ve always known it was supposed to be you.”
I knew the very first time I laid eyes on him that my life would never be the same. I had
found my other half… my soul had recognized his. I loved him before I even knew his name. Tyce was the love of my life, my best friend… my soul mate. I knew it all those years ago, but my mind wasn’t mentally mature enough back then to fully accept it.
Clinging to him, I relished in the moment. Just breathing and soaking him into me. Tyce and I had never lost our strange connection because we were destined to be together. We completed each other... our souls no longer restless… searching for its missing piece. I was home at long last and I had never felt more alive than I felt right now.
“I want a hug too, daddy,” a young voice squeaked out, sending my mind into a tailspin.
“Alright, little man. How many times do I have to tell you that there’s enough of her for the two of us to share, huh?” Tyce said as he reached down, picked up our five-year-old son, and sat him down on the bed between us.
Holy cow! Let me get this straight. I’m Tyce’s wife… the mother of his child.
Our son resembled his father so much that it was only fitting that they shared the same name. Little Tyce or Ty buried his face deep in my neck as he claimed me all to himself. I had always wondered what a child of ours would turn out like. Artsy and creative like me or a left-handed neat freak like him.
Turns out, Ty was everything I could have ever wanted or hoped for… and then some.
I had to have been glowing like a light bulb since my heart was filled with such joy. I was a caged bird that just got set free. I had my two guys and was finally at peace, and in my rightful place in the world.
My dad’s voice suddenly echoed in my head, “Everyone will be where they were truly meant to be.” I had trusted fate and in return, I received an adoring husband and a beautiful child.
Thank you so much, I sent out to my father above as I wrapped my mind around this wonderful turn of events. He will never have to worry about me wasting the second chance given to me. I will never again doubt the power of faith. With all my beliefs now fully restored, I knew that I would cherish this blessing always.
When the doctor came in a few minutes later, the room was filled with the sounds of joy and laughter. “I have good news,” the doctor stated. “It’s nothing a little rest and relaxation from here on out can’t fix. You’re extremely dehydrated, but other than that, your test results all came back normal.”
“See there… didn’t I tell you there was nothing to worry about?” Tyce assured me with a quick kiss.
“Can we take mommy home now? You know how she hates doctors,” Ty blurted out with no shame.
Kids! What can you do? They say the darnedest things, but the doctor just laughed and left the room to start on my release papers.
I, on the other hand, got up, changed into my normal street clothes, and waited as patiently as I could to get out of there. That one simple peck on the lips from Tyce was like a shot of pure adrenaline straight into my core. My lips were still sizzling while my nipples puckered, and the hot spot between my legs burned eagerly with anticipation.
I had to sit with my arms and legs crossed as I told myself that this is sooo not the time or place to jump his bones, but my body yearned to consummate our reunion… our marriage. It had a mind of its own and was determined to seal the deal right here and now, if I let it!
Where the hell are those blasted release papers, doc?
I had Ty safely buckled into his car seat in record time. I was literally bouncing in the front seat all the way home as I imagined everything I was about to do to my true husband. He was sex on a stick and I needed to lick him in the worst way.
What the HELL is wrong with me? My body screamed to be touched. This fire burning inside of me needed to be doused ASAP! It was down right embarrassing, people. My dad had failed to mention this little side effect.
Once in the house, I was like a crack head seeking her next fix. I sent Ty to play in his room while I practically dragged Tyce to ours. Tyce needed no direction from me. He knew what I needed and had no problem giving it to me by any means. We were completely in tune with one another. He had me stripped naked after being in the room for only two seconds. There was absolutely no need for foreplay… I was soaking wet already and when he slid himself inside me, all I could do was hiss as my fire was finally extinguished.
I woke to the smell of a white rose on my pillow, along with a short note. “Went to catch a fish mommy,” it read in Ty’s chicken scratch. Sniffing the rose before tucking it in my hair, I rolled over to stare out of our open balcony window that allowed the salt air to come in and caress my skin.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning in Laguna. My Sandia Mountain view in New Mexico had been replaced by the Pacific Ocean. Living in a quiet neighborhood overlooking the water, the beach was literally our backyard. We had moved back to California a couple of years ago to be closer to our families after being bounced around all over the country because of my husband’s job.
Tyce was set to retire from the Army in two years, but he loved it so much… I don’t think he’ll ever leave. I, on the other hand, never did become a massage therapist. Tyce was the only lucky person to benefit from that little hidden talent of mine.
Instead, I pursued my first passion.
ART!
After graduating from high school, Tyce and I were married and I followed my dream and attended art school. Today, I was the proud owner of my very own art gallery. With Tyce’s encouragement, I fulfilled my life-long dream. He was my rock. He believed in me… in my talent… when everyone else said it wouldn’t amount to anything and that it was nothing more than just a hobby.
He was the only person back then besides my dad that knew how much drawing truly meant to me. How much it was a part of me… a way to express myself when I was lost for words.
When I had sacrificed my future with Tyce, I also lost the driving force that had led me to believe that I could do anything I set my mind to. Without him by my side, I had simply given up. I locked my feeling for him away in a box, sealed it up tight, and waited for the day that he would turn the key and reopen it. However, the days spent waiting turned into months, the months turned into years, and the seal remained unbroken. I never loved another man after that… not with my whole heart. How could I… when Tyce always had a large chuck of it with him.
My dad wasn’t exaggerating when he said that my choice would impact the lives of all those around me. It’s funny how one person’s decision to turn left instead of right could affect the lives of so many people, throwing us all out of whack. As I continued to stare out at the water, all my old memories began to drift away just like my dad said they would.
This is my life now… my only life.
But you’ll be happy to know that Jay and I are still very close and always will be. I am blown away that I still have the two great loves of my life… in my world… together… at the same time with no strangeness between us. Jay was my best male friend and Tyce was at peace with that. In fact, Jay was even Tyce’s best man at our wedding.
Jay of all people ended up marrying someone very near and dear to my heart. Vivian. With my blessing, they started dating back in college and have been together ever since. She had no reason to run anymore. She had found her man and they had two beautiful kids together; Jasmine age five and their newborn son named Eugene. Go figure! Tyce and I were their proud godparents, as Jay and Viv were to Ty.
Maya and Bobby ended up together without any help from me after all. Bobby adopted Maya’s two girls and they have a pretty little five-year-old girl named Bria together. Maya finally got the good guy that she so deserved much sooner in life and I couldn’t have been happier for them both.
My brother Joel was now married to a kind woman named Amy and had a son together named Dean that was also age five. JoJo, my nephew, loved being a big brother. He took to it easily. The huge difference in age between the two of them wasn’t even a factor in his mind. Weird how things worked themselves out that way, huh?
Everyone was where they were meant to be, except
for my little KJ… which was once again… missing.
I had to trust in my dads last words to me and could only hope that he was with a family that loved him as much as I did. But once again, I promised myself that I would hold onto the memory of him no matter what. He was my baby for all time and nothing would ever change that.
My mom and older brother moved overseas after my dad finally left her and relocated to Lake Tahoe as soon as Joel had graduated from high school. He had bought a huge ranch to raise horses on up there. He never did remarry though, but at least he lived his life the way he wanted to and died peacefully in his sleep two years ago and asked to have his ashes scattered on the lake he had grown to love so much.
I always knew that he never wanted to be buried in a box, but my mother wouldn’t listen. She never listened! My dad left Joel and me the ranch in his will and we planned to spend Christmas there this year with all our friends to be closer to him.
Warm, soft lips brushed the back of my neck, forcing me to return to the here and now. I turned to find the same love in my husband’s eyes as I had seen yesterday. After all these years together, that had never changed or wavered. In fact, his feelings for me may have intensified!
“Are you alright? Why are you still in the bed, my love?” he whispered lovingly against my lips.
“I was waiting for you to get back in it.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
WE WERE THE FIRST ONES to arrive at my father’s ranch. The grounds were covered with two feet of fresh snow from the night before. All the kids were going to love it here, having snowball fights, and building snowmen. The pond was even frozen so thick, that they would be able to skate on it this year.