The Broken Road (The Broken Series)

by Ruff, K. S.

  I tried to break loose, but Kadyn tightened his hold. He locked me into place. “I told you this was going to be difficult, Kri,” he warned in a playful tone. Then he turned serious. “Do you have any idea how much I want to make love to you right now?”

  I had a pretty good idea. The evidence was very compelling. Every inch of my body was screaming for the same thing, but I was terrified to take that step. “I… I think we should wait. I’m still working through some issues when it comes to that kind of intimacy.”

  I shuddered as memories of Tom snaked through my mind. He had been insatiable, controlling, and selfish in bed. Whenever I tried to decline, he would dig our marriage certificate out of the file cabinet and waive it in front of me. You signed this. You’re my wife. You don’t get to say no.

  Kadyn sat up. He pulled me with him until my legs straddled his. “Hey,” he said softly. “What’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

  I shook my head. “You don’t want to know, Kadyn. There are some things better left unsaid.”

  Kadyn settled me more comfortably on his lap, in a position even more intimate than the last. “No. That’s not true. It’s better to talk about it. We can’t work through the problem if I don’t even know what it is.”

  I nodded, but I kept my eyes cast low. My voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t know how to enjoy sex, Kadyn. He called me names, hit me, and then forced me into bed. Sex was not enjoyable for me. It was all about him, and I didn’t get to say no, Kadyn, not ever. Sex was an obligation… a responsibility… a chore.”

  Kadyn crooked a finger under my chin as he sought my eyes. His jaw clenched when our eyes finally met. “It’s not supposed to be like that, Kri. Not even close. It should be about what both people need. Both people should feel wanted… cherished… and loved.”

  I burrowed into Kadyn’s chest as tears pooled in my eyes. “I wish I had met you first, Kadyn.”

  His fingers wound through my hair, forming curls he gently released. “Me too.”

  I clung to Kadyn’s shoulders as if he was a raft in a stormy sea. “Thank you for being so patient and understanding.”

  Kadyn eased me back under the covers. He turned me in his arms until his body was spooning mine. He wrapped his arms tightly around my arms and chest, then kissed me on the shoulder. “You take all the time you need, Kri. I can wait, but I promise you it will never be like that with me. When you give yourself to me, you’ll know what it means to be loved.”

  I relaxed into his arms, comforted by his promise and the feel of his body locked so securely around mine. We fell asleep within minutes, still inextricably intertwined.

  * * * * * *

  I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I was flying on a military aircraft. The inside of the airplane looked like a stripped down version of a commercial jet. The plane was a little noisy. It was definitely a no-frills way to fly, but I was so thankful for the opportunity to go back home, I couldn’t have cared less.

  Kadyn and I slept the first half of the flight since we had gotten so little sleep the night before. I pulled out my Kindle after I woke up, but I was too keyed up to read. Kadyn was quiet so I filled the silence with stories about the people he was about to meet.

  We were about an hour outside of Spokane when Kadyn finally revealed what was on his mind. “Am I going to be the only black person in Montana?”

  I looked at Kadyn in mock shock. “Oh my God, you’re black?” I couldn’t help but laugh at the look on his face. I reached for his hand as I offered up a more serious response. “To be honest, less than half of one percent of the population registers as African American with the Montana Census Bureau.” The only reason I knew this little known factoid was because I’d been required to conduct a demographic analysis based on gender, age, and race for the aging report I’d worked on for Charlie.

  Kadyn’s brow furrowed. “That’s not very many.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s not. Montana’s population is primarily white. There’s a bit more diversity in the university towns and in Great Fall because of the Air Force base. However, Montana is very much a ‘live and let live’ kind of place. No one will think twice about you being there. It’s Idaho you need to worry about. We have to drive through Idaho to get to Montana, and the Aryan nation has been harassing minorities in Idaho for years.”

  Kadyn sighed. A troubled look settled over his face.

  I tried to ease his concern. “We’ll be in Idaho for less than thirty minutes.”

  Kadyn gazed out the window. “Are your parents going to be okay with me?”

  I captured his eyes from the reflection off the glass. I smiled, knowing that on this point I could deliver some good news. “Yes. My parents will adore you… and so will my friends. Not a single one of them is going to care about the color of your skin.”

  Kadyn visibly relaxed, but I now found myself sharing his concerns. I wanted him to feel comfortable and safe in the place I still called home.

  * * * * * *

  Neither of us breathed easy until we crossed over the border between Idaho and Montana. About a half hour outside of Helena, four men on motorcycles fell in behind us. They had been sitting on the side of the road when we initially drove past them.

  I twisted in my seat as I peered out the rear window of our rental car. I had a sneaking suspicion that one of the riders was Dan. I picked up my cell phone and called Kimme.

  She answered on the third ring. “Hi-ya, Krissy. How are you guys coming along?”

  I glanced at Kadyn and smiled. “We’re making good time. Any idea where Dan is?”

  She giggled. “Yes. He’s waiting just outside of Helena for you. He and some of his Vietnam Vet friends wanted to give you an escort into town.”

  I laughed. “I thought that might be the case. Thanks, Kimme. I’ll touch base later.” I disconnected the call. Then I turned around and waved out the back window.

  All four bikers gave a quick salute, in unison.

  I grinned at Kadyn as I turned back around in my seat. “Apparently, we have an escort.”

  Kadyn nodded. “I noticed.”

  “No worries. It’s my friend, Dan. Do you want to meet him before we drive through to Great Falls?”

  “Sure.” Kadyn pulled the car into a gas station on Euclid Avenue. All four of the Vietnam Vets pulled in behind us.

  I jumped out of the car and ran toward Dan. I threw my arms around him before he could even get off his bike. “Dan, it’s so good to see you! I've missed you so much!” I buried my face in his shoulder as I began crying.

  “Hey, darlin’. I’ve missed you too.” Dan squeezed me tight. Then he slid off his bike. His friends fell in behind him as he acknowledged Kadyn. “Sir.”

  Kadyn offered Dan his hand “Please, call me Kadyn.”

  Dan shook Kadyn’s hand. He motioned toward his friends as he continued the introductions. “I’m Dan. This is Ron, Larry, and Marty. We served in Vietnam together.”

  Kadyn shook hands with the other three men. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  Dan hooked his arm around my neck affectionately. “It’s an honor to meet you, sir. Thank you for taking care of our little lady.”

  I shot Kadyn an inquisitive look. I couldn’t understand why Dan kept referring to Kadyn as “sir” when Kadyn was so much younger than he was.

  “It’s because I’m an officer,” Kadyn explained before turning his attention back to Dan. “It has been my pleasure, sir.”

  I glanced at Kadyn again, now thoroughly confused by his use of the word “sir.” It was all entirely too formal for my liking.

  “It’s a sign of respect,” Dan whispered into my ear. He had clearly picked up on my confusion.

  The six of us made small talk while Kadyn fueled up the car. I ran inside the store to grab some bottled water and load up on snacks. We made plans to spend an evening with Kimme and Dan on the return trip to Spokane. I gave Dan another hug in the midst of a whole new round of hand shaking,
then Kadyn and I climbed back inside the car.

  Dan and his friends continued to escort us through Helena. They didn’t fall back until we reached the edge of Wolf Creek Canyon. By then, we were halfway to Great Falls.

  * * * * * *

  The five hour flight and the six hour drive caught up with us as we coasted into Great Falls. We were both exhausted by the time we reached the hospital. I grew increasingly anxious as we made our way down the hall from the nurse’s station in search of Lexie’s room.

  Her voice echoed down the hall, just before we reached the room. I froze, then fell back against the wall as tears pooled in my eyes. I took a deep breath and blew it out as I tried to rein in the tears.

  Kadyn cupped my face in his warm hands before kissing me gently on the lips. “You can do this, Kri.”

  I searched his eyes questioningly, then nodded. I reached for the nape of his neck as I pulled him in for a more thorough kiss.

  He indulged me in the kiss. Then he folded me into his arms. “Ready?” he asked, gazing down at me.

  “Yes,” I breathed. My hands and eyes lingered on his chest. I marveled at the strength radiating from his body.

  Kadyn reached for my hand. He squeezed it encouragingly as we walked the rest of the way to Lexie’s room.

  I stilled in the doorway and soaked in the sight of her.

  Lexie was propped up on a number of pillows drinking water from a pink plastic jug with a matching straw. “Kri, you’re here! I didn’t think you’d make it before visiting hours were over.”

  I swallowed against a lump of tears as I closed the distance between us. I eased onto the bed and gently wrapped her in my arms. I closed my eyes and savored the feel of her heart beating against mine.

  I grudgingly released her as a nurse walked into the room. I tried to ignore the tubes in her arms and the machines hovering along the edge of the bed as I scrambled for a way to make her laugh. “You know, cuz, if you wanted me to come back for a visit, you could have just said so.”

  Lexie laughed. “I just needed a break from work, and they wouldn’t give me any time off.”

  The nurse burst out laughing. “I know that’s true!”

  “You must be Kadyn. I’m Nate, Lexie’s better half,” Nate said, extending his hand toward Kadyn.

  Kadyn pushed off from the door frame. He shook Nate’s hand. “Hi, Nate. It’s nice to meet you.”

  I ducked out of the nurse’s way as she took Lexie’s temperature.

  The two men joined me at Lexie’s bedside. Nate pulled me in for a quick hug. “It’s good to see you, Kri.”

  Kadyn’s eyes softened as he approached Lexie. “Hi, Lexie. I've heard a lot about you.”

  Mischief sparked in Lexie’s eyes. “I could say the same about you, Kadyn Rand.”

  Kadyn raised a single questioning brow as he fixed his gaze on me. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

  I reached for Lexie’s hand. “How are you feeling? Is there any more news?”

  Lexie scooted across the bed. She patted the mattress, encouraging me to sit next to her. “I’m feeling better. We’re still waiting to see how my kidney responds to the new drug protocol.”

  I eased onto the bed. “When are you busting out of here?”

  “I don’t know,” she responded sullenly. “We have to play it by ear.”

  “Do you know where I can track down a cup of coffee for Kri?” Kadyn asked as he turned toward Nate.

  I smiled at Kadyn. “That sounds wonderful,” I responded gratefully.

  Nate strode toward the door. “Sure. Follow me.”

  The nurse patted Lexie on the arm. “Your vitals look good. Visiting hours are officially over, but I’ll give you two a few more minutes.”

  “Thanks, Pam,” Lexie responded as the nurse walked out of the room.

  I stretched out onto the bed and turned to face Lexie as we both sank into her pillows. “What’s going on with your kidney?” I whispered softly.

  The spark faded from Lexie’s eyes. She suddenly looked very tired. “The kidney disease has spread to the transplanted kidney a bit sooner than we expected.”

  I kept my eyes locked on hers. “Do you need another kidney?”

  She sighed. “Eventually, but we’re going to try to hold on to this one as long as we can. Hopefully, the new anti-rejection drugs will help.”

  “So, no dialysis for now?”

  Lexie shook her head. “No, not until my creatinine hits four.”

  I breathed a small sigh of relief. “Where’s your creatinine now?”

  Lexie reached for my hand. “It’s at two. One full point outside the normal range.”

  I linked my fingers with hers. “Okay, so that gives us a bit of wiggle room. Hopefully, the new meds will slow this down.”

  Lexie nodded, although she didn’t look terribly optimistic. She suddenly perked up. “Holy cow, Kri. That man of yours is seriously built. Just looking at him makes me feel tingly all over.”

  I laughed. “Hey, you’ve got your own muscle man. Don’t be getting all tingly over mine.” Nate had been a wrestler for as long as we’d known him, so he, too, had a killer physique.

  Lexie burst out laughing. “Kadyn, we were just talking about you.”

  I groaned, knowing full well he’d overheard us.

  “Next thing you know, they’re going to ask the nurse for some measuring tape so they can compare the size of our biceps,” Nate complained half-heartedly.

  “I’d much prefer to watch the two of you wrestle,” Lexie suggested with a wicked glint in her eyes.

  “Ladies first,” Kadyn retorted, “and preferably in mud.”

  Lexie glanced at me questioningly. She looked as though she might seriously be considering it.

  I just shook my head and laughed.

  The nurse popped her head inside the doorway. She was smiling, but she tapped her watch.

  Nate’s eyes met mine. “Your parents and Lexie’s parents are sleeping in the guest rooms, but you and Kadyn can have the couch.”

  I pulled Lexie in for another hug before slipping out of bed. “Thanks, guys. “We’ll head over to your house, then.” I glanced at Nate. “Are you coming home too?”

  Nate shook his head. “No. I’m spending the night in the hospital with Lexie.”

  I smiled. Nate was a really good guy. He had done a remarkable job helping Lexie through her transplant surgery, and I loved his take charge attitude with her doctors and nurses. “Okay. Sleep well. We’ll see you in the morning.” I turned back around to look at Lexie when I reached the doorway. “I love you, cuz.”

  She smiled. “I love you too.”

  Kadyn handed me the coffee as we walked out of the room. “Your cousin looks pretty good.”

  I nodded. “I was expecting much worse. I'm relieved to see her doing so well.” I took a sip of the vile tar the hospital tried to pass off as coffee and winced when the bitter concoction slid over my tongue.

  I dropped the coffee into a trash bin just outside the hospital entrance. I shivered as the wind blew the cold night air straight into my bones.

  Kadyn tucked me under his arm as we crossed the parking lot. “It’s a bit colder here than it was in Virginia.”

  I wrapped my arm around his waist. “Lexie’s house isn’t far from here. I’m happy to drive.”

  Kadyn smiled. “That sounds good. I’m afraid I’m running on fumes.” He dug the keys from his pocket, unlocked the car, and handed me the keys as he opened the door for me.

  I slid into the driver’s seat, then reached over to open the passenger side door. “It’s been a long day, and we’ve got the time difference working against us here. Lexie and Nate have a huge sectional couch. It’s really comfortable, so we should be able to get a good night’s sleep.”

  Kadyn folded himself into the passenger seat. He closed his eyes as he leaned back against the headrest. “Sleep sounds good,” he murmured.

  I turned the heat up as I backed out of the parking space. Kadyn’s e
yes remained closed while I drove the short distance to Lexie’s house. I nudged him after I parked the car in her driveway. “Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re here.”

  He opened one eye. “Already?”

  “I told you her house wasn’t far from the hospital,” I responded as we stepped out of the car.

  Kadyn shot me a sidelong glance as we pulled the luggage from the trunk. “I wasn’t sure whether you were measuring distance by Montana standards or by more average means. Everything is so spread out here… the towns… the houses... the people. I’ve never seen so much wide open space.”

  I laughed. “That’s why we call it Big Sky Country.”

  My mom and aunt bum rushed us at the door. “Kri!” they both exclaimed excitedly.

  I flung my arms around my mother. “Mom! I’ve missed you so much,” I choked through a throat full of tears.

  My aunt wrapped her arms around the two of us. “We were so worried. What took you so long?”

  I swiped at my eyes as I stepped back to look at them. “We stopped by the hospital to see Lexie.”

  My mom clung to my arms. “It’s so good to see you, honey. I’m so glad you came.”

  “Is that my daughter’s voice I hear?” my dad bellowed from somewhere deep inside the house. He rounded the corner to the foyer. My uncle followed in his wake.

  My dad lifted me off my feet and squeezed all of the air out of my lungs in one of his famous bear hugs. When he settled me back onto the floor, my uncle pulled me in for a slightly gentler hug. “How’s our little Krissy?” he asked affectionately.

  “Good... better now that I’ve seen Lexie.” I glanced over at Kadyn, who was still standing on the porch with our luggage. He had an amused look on his face.

  “This must be your knight in shining armor,” my aunt surmised as she pulled Kadyn in for a hug.

  I laughed at the surprised look on Kadyn’s face. “Yes, this is Kadyn… Kadyn, this is my Aunt Linda, Lexie’s mom.”

  My uncle reached for Kadyn’s hand. “Nice to meet you, young man. Thanks for looking after Krissy.” His eyes widened as he squeezed Kadyn’s bicep. “Do you work out?”

  “Uncle Chuck!” I gasped.