Addie pulled the book out slowly. The cover showed a woman in old-fashioned workout gear. Leotard and leg warmers and the cheesiest looking headband Addie had ever seen. Not to be deterred by the cover, she headed out to her favorite reading spot on the porch. She pulled the cushion close so she could ditch the book under it so no one would catch her reading it.
The first chapter talked about how fad diets didn’t work and that if you just follow the simple steps outlined in the book, then all would be right with the world.
“Get on with it, already,” Addie mumbled. “What are the steps? What do I have to do to be in shape and show Brooke I’m not fat? And show Daddy I’m not a Weeble. And show Coach Marks I’m not a big-boned gal. And show Dr. Takahashi I’m not a girl who ‘likes to eat.’ And show Troy, not that I really care, but show Troy I’m not a lardo.”
Addie bit back the sudden rush of tears. She closed the book around her finger so she wouldn’t lose her place and wiped at the tears with one hand. She took a deep breath, even though it hurt her rib cage, and then let it out slowly. Yeah, she would show everyone that she could be in shape and that she could play lacrosse, including her grandmother who didn’t think she could be good at sports or good at anything for that matter.
Addie skimmed the next chapter until she found some stuff that sounded interesting. “Calories in must be less than calories out,” she read out loud. “It’s as simple as that.” Skimming some more, she found that a diet of 1800 calories was good for weight loss if you were a female with a sedentary lifestyle. She wasn’t exactly sure what sedentary meant, but that column had the lowest number, so she went with that.
“That’s it then,” Addie said out loud. “Counting calories is what I have to do. Calories in less than calories out. Easy. It’s math, and I’m good at math. I just have to burn more than 1800 calories a day.” Of course, she’d have to ask Kimi how many calories were burned with each exercise they did. Would she even know? Maybe Coach Cairns would know. She was fit and had studied biology or something in college.
Addie felt an inner peace, knowing that a game plan was forming. She skimmed the rest of the second chapter and found a sentence that rocked her world. She read it silently to herself, but it was so profound that she read it again out loud. “It is okay to feel hungry.” The rest of the paragraph blew her mind. “Hunger tells you it’s time to eat, that your body needs nourishment. Americans in particular get used to that overfull, stuffed feeling and get nervous when they don’t feel that way. But it’s not natural. Your body wants to be in shape.” The section went on to say that the time on the clock should not dictate when you eat.
Addie nodded. All of that made sense. Eat when you’re hungry. Calories in should be less than calories out. Normally at about that time she would be sitting down to a breakfast of cereal or toaster waffles or pop-tarts if the jerk hadn’t snarfed them all. She did a check of how she was feeling. Nope, not hungry. So why eat? “Eat when you’re hungry.” Easy.
She heard movement upstairs and Addie decided to put the book back before anybody saw her with it. She made a bee-line for the bookshelf and stashed it right back in the spot she had pulled it from. The creak of a foot on the top stair told her she’d made it just in time.
“Good morning, honey,” her mother said. “Picking out a new book?”
“Yep,” Addie said, her heart beating a million miles an hour. “I’m hoping Grandma has another Star Trek Voyager book I can read.” Victory. Her mother had not seen her stash the diet book back on the shelf.
“Pfft,” her mother spluttered. “Grandma has every single book that was ever printed I think.” She glanced over the bookshelf. “These shelves have always been packed with books. Ever since I was a little girl growing up in this house. My dad kept wanting to donate them to the library. Every spring he’d try, but she’d never let him. After he passed away, she finally relaxed and donated a few.”
“How old were you when Grandpa passed away, Mom?”
Her mother stood at the bottom of the stairs with her hand on the railing. “I was in my late twenties. You and Troy were little, and your father and I had moved to Watertown by then. One of your dad’s buddies got Daddy that job in the Watertown Department of Public Works and we moved away.” She looked wistful for a moment. “He didn’t even know he had cancer until it was too late. I never got to say goodbye.”
Addie knew enough to stay quiet. She had the distinct feeling that the last sentence wasn’t directed at her at all.
Her mother wiped at the tears in her eyes. “Wow, what a start to our day. How about we make some pancakes for breakfast?”
“Oh, uh, I already had cereal, Mom, but thanks.” The lie came out easier than she’d thought possible. “I’m just going to find my next book, okay?”
“You got it.” Her mother headed toward the kitchen.
“Hey, Mom?”
Her mother turned. “Yeah?”
She wanted to ask her mother if she was still mad at Daddy. She wanted to ask if they’d ever see him again and if Syracuse was going to be their forever home. Instead she said, “Thanks for buying me all that lacrosse stuff.”
“Oh, you’re welcome, honey. I just hope it’s what you want.”
“I think so. It’s weird, isn’t it?” Addie rolled her eyes. “Me. Into sports.”
“I think it’s admirable. We all have to try new things, right?” Her mother’s smile widened.
“Right.” Addie turned her attention to the bookshelf.
“Oh, and Addie?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“When you see your father on Friday, get him to buy you all that other lacrosse stuff you need. The shoes and running shorts and all those things Troy insisted that you just had to have. Okay?” Her mother chuckled, but it was a sad sort of lonely laugh.
“Okay, Mom. I will.”
Thinking about her father made her heart heavy. He was so far away. She hoped her parents trial separation failed miserably and they realized that their family needed to be a family again. She hadn’t known her parents were getting separated. She kind of felt like her mother did. She hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to her father and her life in Watertown when they left so suddenly for Grandma’s house.
Chapter 12
It’s Okay to Feel Hungry – Part 2
“NICE STICK, ADDIE,” Kimi gushed. “I love the color. It matches your goggles. And both complement your eyes.”
Addie beamed. She dug into the front pocket of her jeans shorts and pulled out her matching baby blue mouth guard.
“What?” Kimi laughed and fell flat on her back on the grass where they had been stretching, waiting for Brooke to show up for their practice. She sat back up. “I can’t believe everything’s color coordinated. And when you get home make sure you boil that mouth guard.”
Addie looked at it more closely. “What do you mean?”
“You have to boil it to soften it up and then you put it in your mouth so it forms around your teeth. That way it’s more comfortable. But you knew that, right?” Kimi winked. They both knew that Addie hadn’t a clue about it.
Addie felt her cheeks get warm, and it wasn’t from the July afternoon sun.
She leaned in. “Don’t tell Brooke, okay?” She nodded toward Brooke who was making her way toward them with her gear and a folded-up net.
“Not a chance.” Kimi leaped to her feet. “Hey, you didn’t just eat, did you? Because, zoinks, I don’t want you to get sick again.”
“Nope.” Addie stood up and hid her smirk. Nope, she hadn’t just eaten. The last time she’d eaten had been at dinner the night before.
They ran over and helped Brooke carry her gear to the practice field. After stretching, Kimi announced she had designed a couple of circuit training courses for them to do. She also told Brooke that she would be doing her circuit training in full goalie gear.
“Are you kidding me?” Brooke whined. “You’re just as mean as Coach Marks. He makes me do everything in full gear.�
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“It’s good for you, kid.” Kimi mocked Coach Marks with his quick one-liners. “Makes you a better athlete, kid.”
Even Addie recognized Coach Marks in Kimi’s words and giggled along with Brooke. Would Coach Marks be her coach soon? Only if Saturday’s tryout went well. She groaned inwardly. She didn’t want Brooke to know that she was nervous about the tryout or about anything at all.
“C’mon, women,” Kimi said. She reached into her bag and pulled out a few Therabands. Earlier in the week Kimi had shown Addie how to use the rubbery bands for strength training. “Let’s play like we’re in first place, but train like we’re in second!”
Catching Kimi’s enthusiasm, Addie grabbed her stick, put her goggles on snuggly over her eyes, and stood up tall. She felt like a real lacrosse player. She was ready to go.
Brooke leaned over and whispered, “You don’t exactly need goggles for circuit training.” She laughed under her breath as she turned away, and Addie got the distinct feeling that Brooke wanted to add the word “moron” at the end of the sentence.
Addie looked away and threw her new goggles on the ground near Kimi’s bag. Instead of letting herself get worked up over Brooke, she turned her attention to Kimi’s circuit.
“We have six stations with running in between. Station one,” she pointed toward the sideline, “is Theraband biceps and triceps curls. Stations two through six will be as follows: burpees, planks, crunches, squats, and push-ups.” She twirled in a circle, indicating that they’d move to a new spot to do each individual exercise. Addie knew this particular circuit. She and Kimi had run through it together a zillion times over the last few days, so she knew she wouldn’t look stupid in front of Brooke. Of course Brooke would notice that Addie found burpees difficult and squats painful and push-ups impossible, but maybe Brooke found them hard, too. A girl could dream.
Addie started at station one with the Therabands while Kimi and Brooke took other starting points. Kimi timed them with her sports watch. Addie was glad every time Kimi called time after each segment, but then they had to run, and then Addie couldn’t wait to get back into the circuit training. They must have done the circuit five whole times when Brooke finally called for a water break.
Ha! Addie thought. Brooke caved in first, not me. Even though she was dog tired, there was no way she was going to let Brooke see it. No way.
They plopped down on the ground and took a few sips of water. Kimi brought an extra bottle of water for Addie, since Addie didn’t have her own yet. She added it to her mental list of things to ask her dad to buy for her on Friday. Addie took a big swig, but Kimi warned her not to drink too much because it could cause cramping. Kind of like when she’d tried to run after eating all that cereal the day before.
“Hey, you guys,” Kimi said, “I have another circuit training planned, so let’s do that and then we’ll set up Brooke’s net and do some actual LAX drills, okay?”
“Sounds good,” Addie said.
Brooke nodded. “Okay. But can we set up the goal on the other side of the field? I need to get used to both sides.” Brooke and Kimi turned away from Addie to look toward the far end of the field near the parking lot. Addie took that moment to make a bicep muscle. Darn it. Still nothing. She squeezed and flexed and squeezed some more. It only made her tired. Maybe it took a zillion more push-ups and planks and burpees and whatever else to get biceps like Kimi’s. Addie set her chin. If it took a zillion, she’d do a zillion and one.
“Break’s over,” Kimi said with a light smack to Addie’s arm.
Addie groaned. “Already?” They had just sat down.
“Hey, like Coach Cairns says, ‘Give up for a second and that is exactly where you’ll finish.’” Kimi held her hand out to help Addie up.
With another groan, Addie let Kimi help her up. She stood up to full height, and black sparkles clouded her eyes as a wave of dizziness washed over her.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Kimi grabbed Addie by the arm.
“Yeah, yeah,” Addie lied. “I’m just a little tired.”
“And a little out of shape,” Brooke muttered under her breath, but loud enough for Addie to hear.
“Let’s do this,” Addie said, letting anger fuel her.
Kimi led them through a second circuit round with exercises like planks, mountain climbers, curl ups, high knees, more push-ups, and jumping jacks. Part of Addie’s brain wondered why she was exhausting herself doing such weird things. It was summer vacation. Why wasn’t she on Grandma’s front porch eating potato chips, drinking soda, and reading?
As Addie headed to the next circuit station, she asked herself, “What would Janeway do?” She answered it by thinking, At the moment, Janeway would do the best dang push-ups that Brooke and the entire universe had ever seen.
After the grueling practice, Kimi wanted to jog home, but Addie couldn’t do it. She wanted to, but her legs and lungs and energy level just wouldn’t cooperate. Kimi was a good sport and walked the entire way. She even said she was tired, too, but Addie didn’t think Kimi ever got tired.
After helping Addie boil and fit her new mouth guard, Kimi skipped home and Addie went straight upstairs. She fell asleep within minutes of plopping on her bed. Too soon, her mother woke her up for dinner.
Addie stumbled down the stairs, thinking she should have taken a shower before falling into bed, but she had been too tired to care. She sat down in her usual seat. Troy was blathering on about his karate class and death grip moves or some such nonsense. Addie had no interest whatsoever in Troy’s life. All she wanted to do was go back to bed.
Her stomach had other thoughts, however, and growled loudly, causing everyone to laugh, including Addie.
“Hungry, honey?” her mother said. She put the fried chicken on the table right in front of Addie.
Addie’s eyes grew big. She was starving. The book said it was okay to feel hungry, and wow, did she. With the amount of calories she had burned doing Kimi’s circuit training, she could eat without guilt. Calories out were probably in the millions. And calories in that day had, so far, been zero. She was way ahead.
Chicken was protein, like Kimi said you needed. She snarfed down a buttered roll first thing, though. She couldn’t help it; she was starving. She guzzled her glass of milk, too, not realizing how thirsty she had been. Maybe she should have had more water after practice.
Did tater tots have any redeeming value? It didn’t matter; she didn’t care and scooped out a pile onto her plate. After shoveling in food nonstop, she finally felt full. She had worked hard that afternoon, and eating more at dinner was her well-deserved reward.
Addie had wolfed her food down so fast, that she was done eating long before anyone else. And the longer she sat at the dinner table, the more her stomach expanded. It expanded so much that she was beginning to get uncomfortable.
“Oh, shoot,” her mother said, getting up. “I forgot the corn in the microwave.” She retrieved the bowl and plunked it on the table.
Even though Addie loved corn, she had to pass. Too bad. Corn was a vegetable and something she was supposed to eat more of.
Troy dug right in to the corn, though, and shoveled a heaping spoonful into his mouth. Addie’s stomach turned at the sight. Gross. Maybe she had eaten too fast. Maybe she had eaten too many calories. Maybe she shouldn’t have eaten that third roll. She had forgotten about the roll-skipping rule. Shoot, eating right was hard.
“Hey, once I learn some karate moves,” Troy said between corn spoonfuls, “I want to go Watertown Skate Park and show everybody. I’ll have, like, this whole routine with nunchucks and everything.”
No one said a word. The excited expression on Troy’s face disappeared as their silence sank in.
“But that’s back home in Watertown,” he said, glumly. He looked down at his plate and didn’t look up as he asked, “Are we ever going home, Mom?”
“I don’t know, honey. I still can’t think straight. For the summer, at least, we’re going to stay right here with
Grandma.”
Addie rubbed her stomach. What if her mother never got over whatever it was that Daddy did? New pains piled onto her growing discomfort. She took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. WWJD? she thought for the millionth time that day. Janeway would find a way to make the situation work. There was no time for crying whether you were fighting aliens or you were fighting the destruction of your entire life.
Chapter 13
It Only Takes a Finger
ADDIE CHECKED IN with herself the next day, and found she wasn’t hungry at either breakfast or lunch time. There was an odd tightness in her mid-section, but that was probably from all those sit-ups and boot camp drills Kimi had her doing.
At Grandma’s they were pretty much on their own for breakfast and lunch, anyway, so no one even noticed that she’d skipped them. She’d eaten so much fried chicken and tater tots and rolls the night before that she hoped her full feeling would last all day or at least until dinner that night, and she’d be able to keep the calories in to a big whopping zero.
Around two o’clock that afternoon, though, her stomach growled. She was sitting on the front porch finishing the last page of her book when it happened.
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