As Addie stretched with the team that evening, she couldn’t believe how many people had come to watch the game. All the parents were there sitting in their fold-up chairs. Well, not all the parents. Her parents weren’t there, but Kimi’s mom and dad sat together on the sideline. It was like a big party, or something.
Coach Marks blew his whistle. “Circle up, Owls.”
“You ready?” Addie asked Kimi as they headed over.
“As I’ll ever be,” Kimi said and took a deep breath.
“Good luck.” Addie moved to the outside of the circle, so the real team members could get closer. She had stretched and warmed up with the team, but her assignment for the game was to be the endline ball retriever. That was a job she knew well.
Taylor won the opening draw for the Owls and the game was on. Watching the fast-paced play was both exhilarating and exhausting. During the first half, both sisters Taylor and Paige scored two goals apiece, and Kimi was incredible. She knocked the ball loose from the other team a thousand times and kept the play going the Owls way. Kimi seemed to be everywhere at once, and Addie was glad she was on their team. The Vipers, on the other hand, only scored twice. Brooke had been furious both times.
By the time the second half was midway done, the Owls were beating the Vipers by a score of 10–2, and the Vipers coach called for a time out. Both teams ran to the sideline for water. Addie joined them, but again stayed toward the outside. One thing was for sure, she had burned up the calories from the salad she’d had for dinner.
Coach Cairns and Coach Marks stood off to the side as the players guzzled down their water. Addie heard Coach Cairns say, “We’re up by eight. Give her a couple of minutes toward the end.”
“This better not bite us, Haley.”
“It won’t, Bob. I promise.”
Coach Marks gave his pointers, which mostly involved hustling and working hard. “Oh, yeah, and have fun, too,” he added.
After his pointers, Coach Cairns bounded over to Addie. “I’m pulling you off endline duty.”
“Okay,” Addie said confused. Had she done a bad job?
“You’re going in the game.” Coach Cairns grabbed Addie’s hands and bounced up and down like a little kid.
Addie wondered if she looked as scared-to-death as she felt.
“Not right away. With about three minutes left in the game. Make sure you’re stretched, have your goggles on and mouthpiece handy. Have your stick in hand and be ready to move fast when Coach Marks calls for you.”
“Okay.” It was the only word she could get out. She was going in the game. For reals.
Kimi squealed her approval. “See? All that hard work paid off.”
“Don’t mess this up,” Brooke growled as their water break came to an end.
Way too soon, Coach Marks called for subs and took Taylor and Paige out of the game. By this time the Owls were up by a score of 15–3. Addie ran out to the field and looked to Coach Cairns as to where to stand. Anne Marie took the draw in the middle of the field and Kimi ended up with the ball. This was it. The game was on. Addie’s heart was beating so fast that is was hard to think, but after forever, she got her feet to move in the right direction.
Kimi dodged a defender and zigged and zagged her way up the field. Addie tried to stay ahead of her, being an attacker and all, but Kimi kept getting ahead. Kimi stopped short and tossed the ball to Addie. Addie caught it. She couldn’t believe it. One of the Viper defenders was on her instantly. Addie faked left then spun right and was free. Holy crap! She had shaken the defender. Her heart was pounding so hard in her ears that she barely noticed the thunderous roar from the home team crowd. She saw Anne Marie running ahead of her and flicked the ball toward her. Anne Marie caught it cleanly, ran two steps and shot the ball. Goal!
In less than a minute, Addie had helped her team score a goal. Kimi grabbed Addie by the arm and they ran over to Anne Marie to engulf her in a group hug.
“Nice assist, Addie,” Anne-Marie said.
“That was so awesome,” Kimi said once they broke free from Anne-Marie.
“I can’t believe how amazing that was,” Addie gushed. “You passed me the ball and then I caught it and then Anne-Marie was up there and then I passed it to her and . . . Wow!” She was rambling, but she didn’t care. Kimi had been right. Lacrosse was addicting.
Anne-Marie lost the next draw, but it didn’t matter because Kimi stole the ball and headed toward the goal. Kimi passed the ball to Anne-Marie who passed it forward to Addie. Addie saw the goalie glaring her down, but Addie saw the open spots around her. She dodged one defender and then changed direction. She reached with all her might and sent the ball sailing toward the goal. She’d aimed low, but the ball went too low and bounced off the grass and hit the goal post. The goalie scooped up the ball and the play was over. She was disappointed that she hadn’t scored a goal for her team, but the feeling had been incredible.
“Almost, Addie. Almost,” Kimi yelled back as she retreated on defense.
“Almost,” Addie echoed. Dang it.
She had almost scored a real goal in a real game. Her heart was still pounding as she hustled back toward midfield. She couldn’t wait to try for another goal, but then the referee blew her whistle signaling the end of the game. Cheers went up on the Owls sideline. They had won their first game. Addie wanted to join their celebration, but she couldn’t get her legs to cooperate. They weighed a thousand pounds each. Her entire body felt heavy. She felt the stick fall out of her hands. A zillion black stars covered her vision as she fell to the ground.
Chapter 17
You Die!
ADDIE COUGHED AND pushed the acrid odor away from her face. It was obnoxious.
“Ahh, you’re back,” a voice said.
It was Coach Cairns’ voice. What was Coach doing in her room? All she wanted to do was go back to sleep. And what was that burning smell? She opened her eyes and saw blue sky. And faces. A million faces hovered over her. Was she dead?
“How are you feeling?” the voice said again.
Addie focused on Coach Cairns face. “Fine. What’s happening?” She heard the weakness in her own voice and struggled to sit up.
“No, no,” Coach Cairns said. “Lay back down. You’re okay right where you are, Addie. The ambulance will be here in a minute.”
“What happened? Is Kimi okay?” Did Kimi get hurt?
A nervous twitter of laughter erupted around her, making her jump.
“Girls, back off a little,” Coach Cairns directed in a calm but stern voice.
“I’m right here, Addie.” Kimi kneeled next to her. “I’m okay. How are you feeling?”
“Tired.” Addie closed her eyes against the bright sun and the faces. All those faces needed to leave her alone.
Someone grabbed her hand and gently rubbed the back of it. That was nice. “You’ll be okay, Addie.” That was Kimi’s voice. Why was Kimi in her room? Did they have a sleepover? “Hear that?” Kimi’s faraway voice said. “The ambulance will be here any second, and then they’re going to take you to the hospital to find out why you collapsed.”
Addie heard Kimi’s voice break up as if she was crying. She wanted to open her eyes and console her friend, but the only thing she could find energy to do was squeeze Kimi’s hand. Addie felt better when Kimi squeezed back.
Addie barely registered the ambulance ride. Too bad. It was her first time in one, but she was too tired to notice. The next time Kimi squeezed her hand Addie had enough strength to open her eyes. She was amazed to find that she was in a bed with bars on the sides and had some kind of tube sticking out of her arm. She was in a hospital room.
Addie heard her mother talking. “Mom?” Her voice cracked. And she was thirsty, so thirsty.
“Addie. Honey.” Her mother came running over. “How are you feeling? You gave us quite a scare. Your coach said you collapsed again. What happened?”
“I don’t remember.” And that was the truth. She remembered almost scoring a goal, but th
at was it. “Was I in an ambulance?”
“Yeah.” Kimi squeezed her hand again. “They wouldn’t let me go with you, but my mom and dad drove right behind the ambulance so I could stay with you.”
“Water? Can I have water?”
“Here.” Kimi handed her a bottle of water.
“Thanks.” Addie struggled to unscrew the cap, and gave up. Kimi unscrewed the cap for her and Addie drank and drank. She never knew water could taste so good.
“Why am I here?” Addie said to Kimi and then looked at her mother.
Coach Cairns walked into the room at that moment. “I suspect you were dehydrated.” She pointed to the tube in her arm. “That is an IV drip to help rehydrate you, just in case that’s what’s going on. They took some blood—”
“My blood? They took it?”
Everyone in the room laughed.
“Yes, honey,” her mother said. “They only took a little.” She pinched her index finger and thumb together and separated them about a half inch. “We have to find out what’s going on.”
“I have a theory,” Kimi said. Her expression was grim. Kimi gave Addie’s hand a good squeeze and stood up. “Can I talk to you guys? In the hallway?”
“Sure,” Addie’s mother said. “We’ll be right outside the door if you need anything, Addie. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“We’ll be right back,” Coach Cairns said.
Addie heard them talking outside the little room, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. She looked around the room instead. It was scary and weird. It was all white, except for the blue curtain. Was there another patient on the other side of that closed curtain? And the rubber gloves by the door. They were blue, too. There were three boxes. Why did they need so many? It didn’t matter. She was too tired to care about gloves or whatever they might be saying about her on the other side of the door.
All at once there was a flurry of activity in her room. A doctor and a nurse came in followed by Addie’s mother, Coach Cairns, and Kimi.
“So, you’ve given everyone quite a scare, young lady,” the pretty, dark-skinned doctor said. Her long doctor’s coat and stethoscope and all-business expression scared Addie a little.
“Sorry.” Addie struggled to sit up, and the nurse in bright yellow scrubs scurried around the doctor to help her scoot up. Addie hadn’t noticed before, but she was wearing a light blue gown thingy. Where was her team shirt and, yikes, where were her shorts? And how and when and who pulled them off? She felt her face flush warm. A quick glance showed her clothes folded neatly on a side table. But now that she thought of it, she kind of remembered her mother and the nurse helping her get changed. Why were things so fuzzy?
“My name is Dr. Robinson.” She gestured toward the nurse. “This is Beth, and together we’re going to take care of you. I’m going to give you a quick exam, okay?” The doctor turned to Addie’s mother. “Let’s have mom stay. Everyone else, go to the waiting room. I hear there’s an entire lacrosse team out there?”
Coach Cairns laughed. “We couldn’t convince them to go home.”
“You can tell them all to go home. Addie is stable, and I’m pretty sure she’s going to be okay.”
“Thank you, doctor,” Coach Cairns said. “C’mon, Kimi. Let’s tell everybody that Addie’s going to be okay.”
“Okay, but I’m going to hang out in the waiting room until they let her go home.” Kimi leaned over to Addie and whispered in her ear. “Be honest with the doctor, okay? That’s the only way to get better.”
Addie looked at the serious message Kimi was sending with her dark eyes. She wasn’t exactly sure what Kimi meant, but she nodded.
“You’d better,” Kimi said in full voice. “We have a game on Thursday. And . . . I need my friend back.” Her voice caught in her throat. It sounded like she was going to cry.
“Okay,” Addie called back as they left the room.
Dr. Robinson poked and prodded, asked if anything hurt—nothing did, and interpreted the blood test they had taken when she first arrived. After scribbling something on an official-looking chart, she pulled up a wheeled stool alongside Addie in the hospital bed.
“You, my dear, are a very lucky young lady.”
“I am?”
“Why did she collapse, Dr. Robinson?” her mother asked. She moved closer and held Addie’s hand.
“She’s a little dehydrated. She’s also anemic which means her body doesn’t quite have enough healthy robust blood cells to carry oxygen throughout the body. Her color was not that good when she came in here, and she was a little low on potassium and magnesium. Those IV fluids will help with that.” She pointed to the clear bag of fluids that were attached to the tube in Addie’s arm. “I’m sure she’s been fatigued lately.”
“I think so. She’s been going upstairs to sleep a lot. I thought it was from all that lacrosse.”
“Partly, I’m sure. But I have a feeling we can address all of these issues with a change in diet.”
Her mother nodded.
Addie didn’t understand. She didn’t want to start a different diet. The one she was on seemed to be working just fine. She’d already lost sixteen pounds and counting.
“Now, young lady.” Dr. Robinson’s eyes bored into Addie’s soul. Addie swallowed. Hard. “Why do you think you collapsed?”
“I don’t know.”
“Mm hmm. Did you eat breakfast before your lacrosse game?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“What did you have?”
Addie looked down at her hands. “An orange. I think.”
“That’s about ninety or so calories. You need a lot more calories than that to see you through the rigors of a lacrosse game. My niece plays lacrosse, and I’ve seen the energy she and her teammates expend.” She smiled at Addie’s mother. “To me lacrosse looks like a two hour game of keep-away.” She looked back at Addie. “The notes here say that you recently asked a friend about purging?”
Addie wasn’t sure what that meant.
“Purging means throwing up after eating.” The doctor’s eyes were intense.
“Addie, honey, you’re not doing that, are you?” The expression on her mother’s face made Addie’s heart hurt. That’s what Kimi must have told them in the hallway.
“No, Mom. I couldn’t do it.”
“But you thought about it? Why, Addie?” Her mother looked like she was about to cry.
“I only tried once, Mom, but I couldn’t even do it.”
“I think she’s telling the truth, Mrs. Coleburn. There are no signs of bulimia. No mouth sores or indications of acid burning the enamel off her teeth. No puffy cheeks from frequent vomiting. No signs of esophageal issues. She does have other signs of malnutrition, however. Addie, what did you eat yesterday?”
Addie heard Kimi’s whispered words about telling the truth echo in her mind, so she told the doctor about the apple for breakfast and a salad for dinner with dressing on the side, but she’d never actually dipped into the dressing. She knew her mother and grandmother would look at her funny if all she ate was a bowl of lettuce. She admitted that she was on a diet and that she’d gotten her information straight from a book on Grandma’s shelf.
Addie said, “The book said, ‘Calories in should be less than calories out.’ And it said it was okay to be hungry.”
“Ahh,” the doctor nodded knowingly. “It is okay to feel a little hunger, but it should almost be an anticipatory or a rousing hunger, if that makes sense. It’s a signal that it’s time to eat, that your body needs nourishment. A ravenous hunger is not what that book was talking about. Your body is an amazing machine. Think of it like a car. If you only give it a teaspoon of fuel, you’re not going to get very far, are you? But if you fill up the gas tank then you’ve got enough fuel for a long car trip. Do you know what I mean?”
Addie hadn’t really thought about food that way. Food had become the enemy. It had become something to be denied.
“Addie, you haven’t been giving your
body the nourishment it needs. Your hair looks dull and dry. Those are signs of malnourishment. Your fingernails, too. The skin around them is peeling. That’s another clear sign.”
The skin peeling up around her nails had become really annoying lately and biting them off made them red and sore.
“You’re lucky we’ve caught this in time. Malnourishment can cause heart failure. And heart failure means . . . you die.”
Addie gasped. Die? Being on a diet can make you die?
Dr. Robinson turned to Addie’s mother. “We’ve hydrated your daughter with the IV fluids and made sure she doesn’t have any other life-threatening physical issues. Her heart and blood pressure are good, but this is an emergency facility, and we’ve determined that Addie is out of immediate danger.”
“Thank, God,” Addie’s mother said. She blinked back tears.
“She needs help, though,” Dr. Robinson continued. “Anorexia is basically the refusal to eat and nourish the body. Girls as young as six years old can start down the road to eating disorders like anorexia.”
Addie frowned. This was serious, wasn’t it?
Dr. Robinson wheeled herself to a counter, picked up a pamphlet, and handed it to Addie’s mother. The cover read Syracuse Family Counseling on the front. “I highly recommend that you give these folks a call and get Addie in to see someone immediately. First thing tomorrow morning if possible.”
Counseling? Like a psychiatrist or something?
“This counseling center has an excellent reputation,” Dr. Robinson said. “And, I believe, they’ll be able to help her. They’ll help identify triggers, stresses in her life, like a move or divorce, a new school, or even a new baby in the family.”
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