Her mother looked sheepish. “My husband and I are, uh, going through a rough spot right now.”
The doctor expression was sympathetic. “Addie is heading down a dangerous road toward an eating disorder. Anorexics deny themselves food as a way of staying in control.” She pointed toward the pamphlet in Addie’s mother’s hand. “Call them. I think we may have caught this in time, but Miss Addie here needs to learn how to deal with stress and learn how to eat in a healthy manner that nourishes her body.”
Her mother nodded. Her expression was one of concern mixed with relief. “Yes, we will. Thank you so much, doctor.”
“I recommend no strenuous exercise for at least a couple of weeks, but check in with your own family doctor about that.”
“Absolutely,” her mother said. “Right away. Our family doctor is in Watertown, but we’ll figure something out.”
“Are we going home, Mom? Home to Watertown?” Home to Daddy?
Chapter 18
All About Balance
ADDIE SAT AT the kitchen table deeply focused on the list she was making when Kimi knocked on the screen door.
“Come in,” Addie said. “You can help me with my homework.”
“Homework? In August?” Kimi dropped her lacrosse gear on the front porch and let herself in. She sat down next to Addie at the table. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better, thanks.” Addie pushed her list toward Kimi so they could both see it.
Kimi looked it over. “How did your counseling thing go this morning?”
“Good. First I had a checkup at this weird walk-in clinic. The doctor was nice, but my mom said we’re going to find a permanent doctor.”
“Are you staying in Syracuse?”
“I don’t know.” Addie wanted to ask her mother that same question, but couldn’t find the courage. “Anyway, then we went to another building a few miles away, and I met with Dr. Wright. She’s a psychologist and everything. I asked her if I was crazy, if that’s why I had to see her, but she just laughed and said, ‘Absolutely not,’ and then we talked about body image and all kinds of things. I told her I was tired of being called fat and lardo and stuff. She told me that we’re constantly told our bodies are inadequate. ‘Inadequate,’ that’s the word she used. She said that a simple diet can turn into anorexia if it’s taken to extremes. I guess that’s what I did.”
Kimi nodded.
“And you’ll like this part, Kimi. We talked about lacrosse and how I’m learning to play and how I almost scored a goal yesterday. Before I passed out that is.”
“That was suh-weet.” Kimi laughed. “Almost scoring the goal, I mean. Not passing out.” She laughed again. “So . . . when can you play again?”
Addie looked down at the list, not wanting to make eye contact with Kimi. Kimi had just come from a practice session with Brooke, and she smelled like grass and dirt and, well, she just smelled like lacrosse. Addie bit back tears. She took a deep breath as she gathered herself. Kimi seemed to sense that Addie needed a minute, so she busied herself with the list.
“At least two weeks,” Addie said.
Kimi sat bolt upright. “Two weeks? I’d die if I couldn’t play for two weeks. You’re going to miss,” she counted on her fingers, “three, maybe four, games. I figured they’d move you up to the first team by next week and then we could play together all the time, and you could score goals. You and Taylor and Paige would be this big fierce scoring machine. Anne-Marie, too. Zoinks, we were going to be unstoppable!”
“Easy, easy, Kimi.” Addie patted Kimi’s arm. “You really think I could be as good as Taylor and Paige?”
Kimi nodded. “Coach Cairns thinks so, too. I heard her telling Coach Marks that you were a diamond in the rough.”
“Wow.” Addie’s heart filled at the words. “The doctor at the walk-in clinic said it’ll probably take a couple of weeks to get my body chemistry and muscles healthy enough to play at that high level of activity.”
“Well, maybe you can come watch the games.” Kimi’s expression was hopeful.
“I’m planning on it. So, uh, what did Brooke and everybody think about me passing out like that?”
“Coach Cairns told everybody that you were severely dehydrated, which is true, right? She never told them exactly why you were dehydrated. She never said anything about anorexia or an eating disorder.”
“Dr. Wright said I was lucky we caught it in time. She said I was heading toward a severe eating disorder, but I was in the beginning stages.” Addie looked away. She knew she’d done a stupid thing by trying to basically not eat at all. Kimi must think she was an idiot for trying.
“Hey, Addie,” Kimi said softly.
“Yeah?”
“I know why you did it. I know why you skipped meals and stuff. But you know that’s not the way to lose weight or get in shape, right?”
“Yeah. I felt so horrible all the time, physically I mean, but I kept thinking that if I could just be more disciplined and could eat fewer and fewer calories that soon I would lose weight and be strong and everybody would be so impressed and tell me how great I looked. Even Brooke.”
“Brooke? What’s she got to do with it?” Kimi picked up the pencil Addie had been using. She added a few more items to Addie’s list.
“I don’t know,” Addie said. “Brooke just kept saying stuff like, ‘she’s fat,’ or ‘she’s out of shape,’ or ‘I’m embarrassed to be seen with her.’”
“Yeah, I know, but Brooke is all about Brooke. I’ve known her long enough to know that she has absolutely no filter on what comes out of her mouth. It was shocking when I first met her in third grade, but I don’t pay her any attention anymore. And neither should you. It’s all about how you feel and your energy level, you know?”
“I think I’m figuring that out.”
“So tell me about this homework of yours.” Kimi added quinoa to the list and put a check mark next to it.
Addie wrote French fries followed by a big X. “After meeting with Dr. Wright alone, I went to another office in the building to see Dr. Mitchell. She’s a nutritionist and was so cool. She said I was malnourished from not eating and that led to fatigue and probably depression. We talked about carbohydrates, protein, fat, vitamins, minerals, calories, and all kinds of stuff. I’d never really thought about food that way. Food tastes good. That’s all I ever knew.”
Kimi laughed. “All I know is that I’m usually starving after lacrosse, so that means I’ve used up the energy from the food I ate earlier in the day. My body’s telling me it’s time to eat again.”
“Oh, yeah, Dr. Mitchell said I need to get proper energy from my food. My mom made me eat breakfast this morning before we went, so I had Frosty Rings—” Addie put both hands up at Kimi’s disapproving face. “I know, I know. Dr. Mitchell made the same face this morning. Anyway, we looked up the nutrition facts on her computer and she showed me how much sugar was in it. She also showed me some of the good stuff that was in it, like vitamin A and vitamin C, but she said all that sugar is tough on a body to process.”
“Aha, so that’s why you’re making this list. Dr. Mitchell wants you to write down foods with carbohydrates and put a check next to the ones that are good for you.”
“Yep, and an X next to the bad ones. This week it’s carbs and next week it’s protein. After that fats and vitamins and minerals and . . . There were more, but I can’t remember the other ones. It was a lot of information. I never knew food could be so complicated. Dr. Mitchell said our sessions will be like a nutrition class for me. She wants me to recognize good foods without having to think about it. She wants to make healthy eating automatic for me. Kind of like it is at your house.”
“My house?” Kimi added legumes to the list.
“Yeah, your house. And what the heck are leg-umms?”
Kimi laughed. “It’s pronounced leg-yooms, and they’re just beans.”
Addie frowned.
“Pinto beans, chick peas, lentils, navy beans, kidney beans, bl
ack beans.”
“We eat baked beans sometimes.”
“Those are probably navy beans. See? You were eating legumes all along and didn’t know it. So what were you saying about my house?”
“Just that you and your mom seem to know all the healthy ways to eat and live.”
“Mom says it’s all about balance. Not too much of any one thing.”
“Dr. Mitchell said the same thing. She said, ‘All things in moderation.’”
“My dad hasn’t learned that yet,” Kimi said. “He still wants to eat junk food and stuff.”
“He has to ‘unlearn bad habits and learn good ones.’ That’s what Dr. Mitchell said. Like I now have to take a multi-vitamin just to make sure I get proper nutrition.”
“That’s a good thing, I guess. Maybe I should start taking one, too. I’ll ask my mom about it. She’ll probably say we get all our nutrition in the foods we eat.”
“Dr. Mitchell said that’s the goal, but she said it’s really hard to do. She also said that we’re not going to discuss a healthy goal weight for me until much later.”
“Not until you get healthy and master all this homework, right?” Kimi ripped two blank pieces of paper off the pad and started two more lists. On the top of the first, she wrote, “Carbs: Veggies are Our Best Friends.” On the other she wrote, “Carbs: Fruits are Our Other Best Friends.”
“Ooh, ooh! Guess what?” Addie gushed.
“What? What?”
“My dad is coming down so he and Mom can go with me for a family session with Dr. Wright tomorrow. And then, guess what?”
“What? What?”
“Then my mom and dad are going to have a couples counseling session with Dr. Wright right after. Mom asked and Dad said he would. Isn’t that awesome? Maybe they won’t get a divorce now.”
“Addie, that’s great. I hope it works out, but then that means you’ll go back to Watertown.”
“Oh, yeah.” Addie was quiet for a moment. She hadn’t thought of that part . . . leaving Kimi and not playing lacrosse. “Um, well, maybe we won’t go home until after lacrosse season.”
“Maybe.”
With less enthusiasm than before, Addie and Kimi went back to their growing lists.
Chapter 19
Banana Boats
ADDIE NEVER IN a million years thought that sitting, just sitting, would be a hard thing to do, but watching Kimi and the rest of the team play against the DeWitt Diamonds was nerve-wracking. It had been exactly one week since her glorious collapse, and she felt great. Her check-up that morning with the same walk-in clinic doctor went great. He said her blood levels were good and he couldn’t find anything wrong with her. Frustratingly, he said that Addie should wait at least one more week before exercising. Addie wanted to tell those doctors to go away so she could put on her gear and get in the game, but the only thing she could do was sit next to Kimi’s parents in the extra fold-up chair Kimi’s mom brought for her.
Addie followed the action on the field, mesmerized. Taylor’s quick movements, Paige’s sneaky fake outs, and Kimi’s smart play were awesome to watch. She drank it in, desperate for a chance to join them.
“I’m glad you’re coming over for fire pit night, Addie,” Kimi’s mother said.
Addie winced when Kimi got slammed by a player on the other team. “Hmm?” The official tossed the opposing player a yellow card and then play continued.
Kimi’s mother cleared her throat. “I see that Kimi was successful.”
“At what?”
“Getting you to love lacrosse. You want to get in that game don’t you?”
“Desperately.” Addie grimaced.
The Owls were leading by a score of 7 to 5 with only two minutes left, and if this game had been like the last one, maybe Coach Marks would have put her in. Kimi would have passed her the ball, Addie would have faked right and then gone left past a defender, stopped short to let another defender run by, and then she would bolt toward the goal and shoot. But this time her shot on goal would go in and everyone would cheer for her.
“We have to learn from our mistakes, don’t we?” Kimi’s mother said.
Addie nodded, feeling her cheeks get warm.
“And you’re learning that you need a balance in all things. In food, you need a balance of carbs, fats, and proteins.”
“Tomorrow I see Dr. Wright and Dr. Mitchell again to talk more about being healthy.” Addie sighed. “It’s a lot to learn. I don’t know if I can.”
“You can.”
“I kind of don’t know where to start.”
“What’s overwhelming you?” Kimi’s mother shifted in her fold-up chair to face Addie.
“Like how do I know what food is good for me? And what if I get hungry? Dr. Mitchell said I’m supposed to eat when I’m hungry, but what do I eat? I need vitamins, good carbs, protein, minerals.” Addie sighed and flung her head back. “It’s too much.”
“You learned how to read, right?” Kimi’s mother said with a grin.
“Read? Of course. I’m trying to read all the science fiction books on my grandma’s bookshelf.” In fact, ever since she had been on exercise restriction, she had finished the Voyager book about the Borg. Apparently you never actually defeat the Borg, you just figure out a way to deal with them without too many losses. And that’s exactly how Addie felt about her issues surrounding her weight and eating. She had to find a way to deal with them without getting hurt.
“Did you learn to read in one day?” Kimi’s mother asked.
“No, I learned my ABCs first.”
“You took small steps at first. So, just like learning to read, you’ll learn about nutrition in small steps, but once you learn something, you’ll know it forever, right?”
Addie nodded. “That makes sense.” Maybe learning about eating and good health wasn’t going to be so hard after all.
The whistle blew for the game to continue and unfortunately for Brooke, the DeWitt Diamonds managed to score another goal on her. Thank goodness time ran out and the Owls barely won by a score of 7–6.
Addie leaped up from her chair to join the final team meeting on the field. Kimi sat and stretched like she always did as Coach Marks outlined what the team would be doing during next Saturday’s practice time. Apparently he thought the team didn’t have enough depth in the attack positions and they were going to pay special attention to that. Even though she wasn’t allowed to play yet, Addie decided that she would go to the practices anyway.
“I can’t believe we almost let that game get away,” Kimi said when the team meeting was over. She plopped down on the grass in front of her parents.
“You played well, Akimi,” Kimi’s father said. He stood up, folded his chair and attempted to slide it into its carrying bag.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“No one can catch you,” he added, still struggling to fit the chair in the bag.
“I wish that was true, but thanks.” Kimi took the chair from her father and slid it into the bag easily. She handed it back to him just as her stomach growled loudly, causing everyone to laugh.
“Hungry, daughter?” her father said.
Kimi’s eyes grew big, and she nodded her head vigorously.
Kim’s father laughed. “After your post-game sandwich do you want fire pit granola apples? Pecan peaches? Cinnamon pears?”
“I think we’re out of pears, hazubando,” Kimi’s mother said.
“Banana boats,” Kimi blurted. “We have bananas, right?”
Her mother nodded.
Addie was confused. “What are banana boats?”
“Only the best dessert in the world,” Kimi said. “You’re still coming over for fire pit night, aren’t you?”
Addie nodded.
“Good. Dad’ll make you a banana boat, too. Right, Dad?”
“Hai.”
“That means ‘yes,’” Kimi said.
“Am I allowed to have that?” Addie had gotten herself so turned around about food that she wasn’t sure what sh
e could eat or not eat. She looked to Kimi’s mother for guidance.
“Addie, eat whatever you want. It’s not so much what you’re allowed and not allowed to have, just make sure you’re guided by nutrition and health. Banana boats have good nutrition for a dessert.”
Addie gasped. “You guys eat dessert?”
Kimi and her parents laughed.
“Of course,” Kimi said. “Life’s not worth living unless there’s dessert.” She finished changing from cleats to sneakers, stashed everything into her bag, and stood up. “C’mon, parentals, let’s go home and show Addie how to have real dessert!”
It was just getting dark when Kimi’s mother pulled into their driveway. Addie followed Kimi and her family into their house and then helped Kimi’s mother get the backyard fire pit ready while Kimi ran up the stairs to take a quick shower. Addie hadn’t noticed the fire pit in Kimi’s backyard before. Probably because they practiced lacrosse in the side yard. The fire pit was made up of big gray stones laid out in a circle, standing about two feet high. Inside the stone structure sat a giant metal bowl where, at Kimi’s mother’s instruction, Addie put loosely rolled newspaper on the bottom. After that she helped carry small branches from an enormous pile of wood stacked along the fence. The small branches were called kindling and she put them on top of the paper. Apparently this was going to help the fire get going. Above the kindling, Kimi’s mom arranged several narrow logs like a teepee.
“That’s to let the fire breathe,” Kimi’s mother said and sat down in one of the six chairs surrounding the big fire pit. “We’ll wait for Kimi. She always likes to light the fire.” She took a sip of water from a thermos. “Addie, when was the last time you had some water? I noticed that you didn’t have anything to drink during the game.”
“I wasn’t playing, so I didn’t need any.”
“Ahh, but you do. Every day you should drink your weight in ounces of water. So, I try to get 155 ounces of water or juice every day.”
“Really?” Addie did a quick calculation. “That’s over a gallon of water every day!”
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