Holding Tight [The Exiled 4] (Siren Publishing: The Lynn Hagen ManLove Collection)

by Lynn Hagen

  “Disappeared on you.”

  Kyle seemed happy talking to Jasper, and Nikoli didn’t want to ruin the man’s mood. He didn’t want Kyle looking over his shoulder and worrying, either, but he’d have to tell his zaterio that Kirk was in town.

  Just not now. He’d tell Kyle once they were home. “You really need to stop doing that.” Then again, Kyle was behaving normally. It wasn’t his fault that he had a psychotic ex after him.

  Nikoli wanted Kyle’s life to be as normal as possible. He didn’t want to shut his mate away. He wished that he could, and he was glad that he couldn’t. Nikoli loved watching Kyle interact with other people. His mate was like a breath of fresh air, and Nikoli would do whatever he had to in order to keep that smile on Kyle’s face.

  “I still can’t believe Palmino stuck around,” Jasper said. “I’m surprised Bryck or Taz hasn’t killed him yet.”

  “He’s not so bad once you get to know him,” Kyle said. “He just has a lot of issues.”

  “Honey, don’t we all?” Jasper said. “Anyway, I’m gonna get going. Told Toby I’d meet him for lunch.”

  Nikoli and Kyle waved as Jasper walked away. There was decent traffic on the streets, and Nikoli felt jittery just standing there. There would be no problem taking the wolf shifter down. Nikoli didn’t doubt his skills for a second.

  What he worried about was Kyle seeing Kirk and what kind of effect that would have on his mate’s mental state. He was already having nightmares from the memories. What would happen if Kyle saw Kirk in the flesh?

  “Ready to head home?” Nikoli skimmed his lips over Kyle’s. “I’m feeling a bit frisky.”

  Kyle blushed. “I’m not really hungry anymore. Can we just skip lunch and just go for a walk?”

  Nikoli inwardly cursed. “Okay.”

  “Hang on. I haven’t gone to the car yet.” Kyle went to the curb and reached inside, coming away with some breath mints. “Thought I’d need these, but we’re not eating. Still, I like how they taste.” He popped one into his mouth and handed the pack to Nikoli.

  Nikoli popped a few as he glanced around. He knew where the motel was located and kept Kyle from walking that way. Nikoli tried to think of something that would end their walk sooner, but he drew a blank.

  “You ever think of getting a house in town?” Kyle asked. “I’d love to plant a garden.”

  The thought had never occurred to Nikoli. “I’ve never thought about it before.”

  He saw the longing in Kyle’s blue eyes, and suddenly Nikoli wanted to give Kyle whatever he wanted.

  “We could have barbeques,” Kyle went on. “You could invite your family over, and Jasper, Toby, and Zeus could come. And in the fall, your family could come crash the place to watch football. I could even get a job in town to occupy my time and put some cash in my pocket.”

  What Kyle described sounded heavenly to Nikoli. His zaterio was talking about making a home for the two of them. A real home, not just living in the castle. But his mate’s plans had major drawbacks.

  “I love how that sounds, Kyle, but I have a lot of enemies. Living in the castle is our safest bet.”

  Kyle stopped on the street to face Nikoli. He grabbed Nikoli’s hand and held on to it as he spoke. “I’ve been running for a long time now. I’m tired of feeling afraid. I’m downright sick of it. All I want is a bit of normalcy in my life. If enemies come, our friends and family aren’t that far away. You can have Nazaryth put some spells on the house to ward those enemies away, Nikoli. All I’m asking is that you give it some thought.”

  Nikoli pulled his mate into his arms, hugging Kyle. “I’ll think about it,” he said. And he would because what Kyle had described sounded dreamlike and Nikoli had existed for over two thousand years. Simply that. Just existed. He wanted a home with his mate and a chance at a bit of normalcy as well.

  He’d never thought about living in a regular house with a white picket fence, but the more he mulled the idea over, the more it appealed to him.

  Kirk sat in his car and watched as Kyle hugged some stranger on the street. His blood began to boil at the sight. Kyle was his, and no other man had any right to touch the impala.

  He also noticed that Kyle had changed. It had been five years since the brat had run from him, and he looked more mature in the face. He’d gotten a lot thinner, too. Kirk didn’t like how gorgeous Kyle appeared. He’d remedy that as soon as he had his pet back on his leash.

  “Why haven’t you told him yet?” Nazaryth asked as he leaned against the desk. “Kyle has a right to know.”

  Kyle stayed out of sight as he listened to his mate and Nazaryth talk by the wall of monitors in the living room. He’d gone in search of Nikoli, but when he’d heard his name mentioned, Kyle had eased back.

  “He’s already going through some shit as it is. I don’t want to add to his already-full plate.” Nikoli paced in front of the desk. How would his mate add to his plate? Kyle thought they were getting along just fine. Had he been fooling himself into thinking things were okay between them? His nightmares were weighing heavily on him. There was no doubt Nikoli was probably tiring of them.

  “He deserves to know,” Nazaryth argued.

  “And the decision to tell him is mine,” Nikoli shot back. “I’ll keep your advice in mind, but he’s not to know.”

  “I think you’re making a big mistake,” Nazaryth said. “Keeping this from Kyle is only going to backfire.”

  Kyle had no clue what the two were talking about. Keep what from him? What did he deserve to know?

  When he saw Nikoli turn and head his way, Kyle hurried back to their bedroom. He eased the door closed and took a seat, waiting for Nikoli to come into the room.

  “Hey, kitten.” Nikoli smiled as he entered. “Instead of going into town for dinner, I thought maybe we could eat here with the other guys.”

  “But I told Palmino I’d come check on him,” Kyle reminded Nikoli. “I don’t like breaking promises.”

  “You can call,” Nikoli said. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and held it out.

  Kyle just stared at it. “It’s not the same. I don’t understand why we can’t go.”

  It hurt his heart to know his mate was keeping secrets from him. Kyle had to stop himself from demanding his mate tell him what was really going on. He wanted Nikoli to volunteer his secret, but it didn’t seem as if he would.

  “Because,” Nikoli snapped and then ran a hand over the nape of his neck. “Just…because.”

  Kyle narrowed his eyes as he pushed up from the chair he’d been seated in. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Just drop it, Kyle.” Nikoli grabbed the door handle. “We’re eating in tonight.”

  There was no way Kyle would let Palmino down. If Nikoli wanted to keep secrets, screw him. He gave a simple nod as Nikoli stood by the door. Walking to town wasn’t something he was looking forward to, but in order to keep his word, he would.

  “Fine. I’ll be out when dinner is ready.”

  Nikoli waited at the door, as if he wanted to say something. Kyle could see the internal struggle Nikoli fought with, but then his mate left the bedroom, taking with him whatever it was he didn’t want Kyle to know.

  Kyle waited a good five minutes and then used the door hidden behind one of the tapestries to make his escape.

  Chapter Eight

  “I didn’t think you would make it,” Palmino said as he let Kyle into his apartment.

  Neither did Kyle. Never again did he want to walk that long-ass hike. His feet were killing him, and Kyle was desperate for a cold glass of water. He went into Palmino’s kitchen, grabbed a glass from the cupboard, and filled it with water.

  Kyle sucked the entire glass down, thankful his throat no longer felt as if he’d eaten an entire yard of dust.

  “Where’s your mate?” Palmino asked as he glanced toward the door. “He’s usually hovering somewhere close-by.”

  Kyle didn’t want to discuss Nikoli. The more he thought about his mate hidin
g things from him, the angrier he became. “Don’t know.”

  One of Palmino’s green brows shot up. “What exactly happened?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” Kyle placed the glass in the sink and headed into the living room. He plopped down on the couch, using one of the throw pillows to hug against him.

  “Keeping it bottled up won’t help.” Palmino sat down next to him and placed his hand on Kyle’s thigh. “You saw how I acted when I was scared and didn’t know which way to turn.”

  “This is different.”

  “How is it different?” Palmino demanded. “You convinced me to talk to you, and you were right. It helped. All I’m trying to do is return the favor, or are you too good to take your own advice?”

  “Fine.” Kyle tossed the pillow aside and turned, tucking one leg under the other. “I heard Nikoli talking with Nazaryth. My mate is keeping something from me.”

  “Something…like what?”

  “If I knew, I wouldn’t have stormed out of the castle.” Kyle chewed his lower lip. Now that he had time to think about it, storming out had been a boneheaded move. Nikoli would go insane as soon as he discovered Kyle was gone.

  Maybe he should call the guy. Kyle wasn’t looking forward to the fallout, but that was better than Nikoli going apeshit.

  No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than the door to the apartment burst open. Kyle and Palmino jumped and screamed at the same time as Kyle stared at Nikoli in his beast form.

  Oh yeah. The guy was beyond pissed.

  “What the hell?” Palmino scrambled from the couch and took a few steps back. Kyle remained seated. There was nowhere he could run to escape his mate.

  “It’s okay,” he said to the fairy. “It’s Nikoli.” He’d never seen his mate in his beast form, but there was no mistaking those pretty brown eyes or familiarity in his face.

  “That’s Nikoli?” Palmino’s eyes were bugged. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  Nikoli’s wings expanded as soon as he entered the living room. His fangs gleamed under the light, his body an eerie blue. He had dark, sharp claws instead of fingernails, and he was heading straight for Kyle.

  “Oh, maybe you should run,” Palmino squeaked. It seemed the badass fairy wasn’t so badass when confronted with a pissed-off winged beast in his natural form.

  Nikoli’s nostrils flared.

  “I think running would only make him madder,” Kyle said. He was scared out of his mind, his thoughts scattering as he stared at the angry look on Nikoli’s face. Kyle didn’t do well with anger. He wanted to curl into a ball and cry. The only thing that stopped him was the firm knowledge that Nikoli would never hurt him.

  He was still scared shitless though.

  Nikoli bared his fangs as he grabbed Kyle around the waist. He hauled Kyle close, their gazes locking. “You care to explain to me why you left the castle?”

  Kyle wigged in Nikoli’s arm. The man was naked. He hated the fact that Palmino—and whoever else—had seen his mate’s exposed cock. But that was the least of Kyle’s worries.

  “I wasn’t aware I was a prisoner,” Kyle snapped as he shoved at Nikoli’s muscled chest. He caught the moan from escaping. Touching Nikoli turned him on. Seeing him in his beast form just flipped Kyle’s trigger. His mate was powerful, large, and his body was teaming with muscles.

  His cock began to thicken the longer Nikoli held him. His mate must have felt Kyle’s erection because he nuzzled Kyle’s neck, inhaling deeply.

  “Uh, guys?” Palmino moved a step closer. “If you’re gonna have sex, can you do it somewhere else? I’m not into watching other people have it in my living room.”

  Kyle sighed as Nikoli ran his lips up his neck. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”

  Within seconds, Nikoli had him downstairs and out the back door. He had a second to see Bryck standing there, as if blocking the kitchen door so no one could get in to see Nikoli in his form.

  “Next time call ahead,” Bryck shouted at them as Nikoli took flight.

  When they landed on the closest ridge, his mate tried to bend Kyle over, but Kyle wasn’t having it.

  “No,” he said as he backed away from the blue Hulk. “You’re gonna explain to me what secret you’re keeping, or so help me, you’ll never have access to this ass again.”

  His words must have hit a chord because his mate shifted into his human form. “How do you know—”

  “I heard you and Nazaryth talking. Now tell me what I deserve to know.” Kyle took a seat on the boulder not two feet from him. He crossed his arms and gave Nikoli a look that said he wasn’t going to budge until he got answers.

  “I was only trying to protect you.”

  “And I appreciate it,” Kyle said, “but I don’t like you hiding anything from me. Now spill the beans.”

  With a resigned sigh, Nikoli turned and ran a hand through his long, dark hair. “Kirk is in Pride Pack Valley.”

  Kyle shot from the boulder, his hands fisted at his sides. “You knew he was here and neglected to tell me?” He nearly shouted his words. “For fuck’s sake, I walked to town. He could’ve…” Kyle swallowed and turned away, closing his eyes against the images in his head.

  That was the last thing Kyle expected to hear. He’d known it was a possibility, but…his heart hammered against his chest as his throat went dry. Kyle began to wring his hands in his lap. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Are you positive it’s him?”

  “The sheriff said he thought the guy was your ex. The stranger asked for you by name.”

  A slight tingle of relief zapped through Kyle. “So then, it might not be him.”

  He could only pray that was true.

  “He asked for you by name,” Nikoli repeated. “Besides Morgan, who else knows you’re here?”

  No one. Kyle would ask for proof, but the last thing he wanted to do was see Kirk in the flesh. He tucked his hands under his armpits to hide the fact that they were shaking like crazy.

  “I’m sorry for keeping that from you,” Nikoli said.

  If Kirk had gotten his hands on Kyle, then Kyle would’ve wished for death. He had no doubt his ex planned on punishing him, and when Kirk was pissed, the man became creative.

  “Kyle.”

  Kyle held up his hand. “I want to go home.”

  Neither spoke another word as Nikoli flew Kyle back to the castle.

  Kyle refused to talk to Nikoli. He was still furious that his mate had held something so vitally important from him. Not only that, Kyle’s nightmares had gotten worse. He was barely sleeping, which made his attitude only surlier.

  He sat at the dining room table, rubbing his temples, when Nikoli entered the room. Kyle stiffened and turned his back on the man. It killed him to give Nikoli the silent treatment, but he couldn’t let his mate think that withholding information was acceptable.

  “Are you going to keep ignoring me?”

  Nikoli moved to Kyle’s line of sight, but Kyle turned the other way. If he allowed Nikoli to get close, to look at him while he talked, then Kyle would cave. He just knew he would. Nikoli was too gorgeous, and Kyle always got lost in the man’s pretty brown eyes. Besides that, Nikoli wasn’t really the bad guy in all of this. His mate had been nothing but loving and understanding. Still, he couldn’t let Nikoli think that what he’d done was okay.

  God, how Kyle wished his migraine would go away. His head thumped painfully as he yawned. He was barely keeping his eyes open, and all he wanted to do was lay his head on the table and fall asleep.

  “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” Nikoli said. “Look at you. You’ve slept for shit, and your nightmares have gotten worse. Now do you see why I didn’t want you to know?”

  “Do I see why you betrayed my trust?” Damn it. Kyle was supposed to be ignoring the guy, not engaging in an argument. He wasn’t going to say another word.

  “I’m sorry for that.” Nikoli sounded as if he was losing patience. “But it was for your own good. I didn’t want y
our condition getting any worse, and it has.”

  “My condition?” Kyle curled his lips in. Damn it. He wasn’t very good at the silent treatment if he kept talking.

  “Whatever you want to call it,” Nikoli said. “Your problem. Your situation. Take your pick. All I know is that it’s killing me to see you like this.”

  Kyle was not going to react to his mate’s softer tone. He wasn’t. He was pissed, and Nikoli would learn a lesson from this if Kyle had to ignore the man for an entire month.

  He wasn’t even sure if that made any sense. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Kyle’s lack of sleep was affecting him, not just physically either. He was starting to see things in the shadows and hear voices when no one was there. There was a constant buzzing in his head, along with the migraine from hell.

  A moan slipped from his lips when Nikoli wrapped an arm around his shoulder. All Kyle wanted to do was lean into the man’s strength. He was tired of being afraid, tired of having nightmares about Kirk. Kyle just wanted it all to go away.

  “Come to bed, zaterio. You need sleep.”

  “And do what?” Kyle asked. “Have nightmares? I’m not getting rest. Not when I’m freaking out while I’m sleeping.”

  “Nazaryth put together some herbs that will help you have a dreamless sleep.” Nikoli helped Kyle from his chair and moved him toward the hallway. “You’ll get the rest you need.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you give me the herbs days ago?”

  “Because it takes time to make the stuff,” Nikoli said. “It’s in the form of a tea. All you have to do is drink it down and then let nature do the rest.”

  Kyle was looking forward to a dreamless sleep. He was downright exhausted and wasn’t sure how much more he could take before he went completely insane.

  Nikoli lay there and watched his mate sleep. It had been fourteen hours since he’d drunk the tea, and so far, the impala hadn’t whimpered, cried out, or even tossed in his sleep. He lay there peacefully, and Nikoli was grateful.