Light This Candle: The Life & Times of Alan Shepard--America's First Spaceman
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On cue, both urns tilted forward and the ashes and flowers came spilling out, got caught by an ocean breeze, and swirled and swished together before slowly sprinkling down onto the rocks below. Then, almost as if it was choreographed, two seals swam at each other from opposite directions, slid up onto a rock, and touched noses.
NOTES
Prologue
page xv, John Glenn was furious: John Glenn, John Glenn: A Memoir (New York: Bantam Books, 1999), pp. 232–233; Fred Bruning, “Glenn’s Return to Space: A 2nd Launch Into History,” Newsweek (October 11, 1998); John Glenn, “A Detailed Plan,” We Seven (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1962), p. 304.
page xv, [Gilruth:] stop “backbiting”: Jay Barbree et al., Moonshot (Atlanta: Turner Publishing, 1994), p. 81.
pages xv–xvi, Shorty—“[Shepard] had what all the others had . . .”: Jewel Spangler Smaus and Charles Spangler, America’s First Spaceman (New York: Doubleday & Co., 1962), p. 147.
page xvi, Shepard was the most capable . . . : Walt Williams, Go (unpublished manuscript).
page xvi, “[W]anted to put our best foot forward”: Ibid.
page xvi, “Come on, Al . . .” [entire conversation with Douglas]: Oriana Fallaci, If the Sun Dies (New York: Antheum House Inc., 1966), pp. 85–88.
pages xvi–xvii, Glenn’s “maudlin sentimentality”: Alan Shepard, “The Astronaut’s Story,” Life (May 19, 1961), p. 26.
page xvii, “I was hoping it was you”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 103.
page xviii, “I love you” [entire conversation]: Ibid.
page xix, “that little rascal”: Alan Shepard, interview, Academy of Achievement (1991).
page xix, stopped to symbolically kick: Alan Shepard, “The First American,” We Seven, p. 241.
page xix, She’s got an air of expectancy: Ibid.
page xix, his throat choked up and he just waved: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 105.
page xix, Douglas’ crayons: Ibid.
page xx, “I want to be first because I want to be first”: Martin Caidin, Man Into Space (New York: Pyramid Books, 1961), p. 37.
page xxi, “I need your help”: Author interview with Al Blackburn.
page xxi, keeping their pants zipped: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 221.
page xxii, Shepard was suddenly moved: Robert Godwin, ed., Freedom 7: The NASA Mission Reports (Ontario: Apogee Books, 2001), p. 72.
page xxii, his heartbeat quickened a bit: Ibid.
page xxii, Okay, buster . . . don’t screw up: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 108; Shepard, Life (May 19, 1961), p. 27.
page xxiv, the face . . . “close and friendly”: Shepard, Life (May 19, 1961), p. 27.
PART I /// BEFORE SPACE
1: “Alan was really kind of a loner”
page 3, Carpenter: “better than anyone else”: Christopher Cheney, “The First Astronaut,” OpenUniverse.com (May 5, 2001).
page 3, “you’d better get out of town”: Author interview with Henri Landwirth.
page 4, “infamous stare”: Author interview with Alice Wackermann.
page 4, “the world’s greatest test pilot”: Jim Watson, “Shepard Sky High on NASA,” Washington Times (August 6, 1986).
page 4, “He could fly anything”: Author interview with Bob Baldwin.
page 4, “the best aviator I’ve ever known”: Author interview with William Lawrence.
page 4, “flamboyant” and “indulgent”: Author interview with Robert Elder.
page 5, “bitterly competitive, to the point of being cutthroat”: Author interview with Gordon Cooper.
page 5, accused Shepard of “swindling” him: Scott Carpenter, quoted in “Subject: Alan Shepard,” Federal Bureau of Investigation (1971).
page 5, Shepard “really didn’t want to have anything to do with the rest of us”: Author interview with Betty Grissom.
page 5, “the biggest flirt in the country”: Author interview with Don Gregory.
page 6, “[T]his was his compulsion”: Author interview with Al Blackburn.
page 6, “She was the rock”: Author e-mail exchange with Robert Windsor.
page 6, “real men . . . perfect physical and emotional and aesthetic specimens”: Author interview with Robert Voas.
page 6, an “asshole” or a “son of a bitch”: Author interviews with Gene Cernan, James Schefter, and others.
page 8, “the terrain of my poetry”: Louis Mertins, Robert Frost, Life and Talks-walking(Univ. Oklahoma, 1965).
page 8, Frost was also rebuffed . . . : Kathleen Morrison. Robert Frost, A PictorialChronicle (Holt, 1974).
page 10, thirty-cent cheese sandwich: Cheney, OpenUniverse.com.
page 11, “a small pond”: Shepard, Academy of Achievement interview.
page 11, “He appreciated a chuckle once in a while”: Mel R. Allen, “The Disciplined Life,” Yankee (October, 1991), pp. 74–77, 134–139.
page 11, “two popular and prominent young society people”: Hattie Durgin interview and scrapbook.
page 12, “A people person,” Alan called her: Allen, Yankee.
page 13, “pizzazz”: Author interview with Dudley Shepard.
page 13, Glenn called Shepard “an enigma . . .”: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 232.
page 13, “If he wanted to talk to you . . .”: Author interview with George Sheldon.
page 14, Shepard’s personal best was thirty-five feet: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, p. 58.
page 15, When the cider ripened . . . : Author interview with Dick True and Sherman Brickett.
page 16, “not awed by authority”: Author interview with Dudley Shepard.
page 16, “keep a teenager with boundless energy out of mischief”: Smaus, America’s First Spaceman; author interview with Charles Spangler.
page 17, “Mrs. Wiggins was tough,” Shepard recalled: Allen, “The Disciplined Life,” Yankee.
page 19, two hundred thousand copies [of We] had been sold: A. Scott Berg, Lindbergh (New York: Berkley Books, 1998), p. 167.
page 19, A Literary Digest survey found . . . : Susan Faludi, Stiffed: The Betrayalof the American Man (New York: William Morrow and Co., 1999).
page 19, “He was always my hero”: Alan Shepard, interview with Pam Platt, “Shepard Detailed ‘Real Stuff’ in Florida Today Interview,” Florida Today (July 22, 1998).
page 19, “I was just fascinated by planes”: Allen, Yankee.
page 20, “a locomotive that has left the track . . .”: Dave English, Slipping the Surly Bonds—Great Quotations on Flight (New York: McGraw Hill, 1998).
page 20, “man is more than man”: Ibid.
page 21, “matchsticks”: Author interviews with Al Deal and Harold Moynihan.
page 22, “inventor’s dream” . . . “everyday actuality”: “Amelia Earhart,” Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia (2002).
page 22, he thought dreamily of a poem: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, p. 53.
page 23, “a wine of the gods of which they”: Charles Lindbergh, We.
page 24, had already traveled a hundred miles [entire DC-3 scene]: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, pp. 53–66.
page 24, On Sunday, February 19: Ibid.
page 25, Park sensed . . . “a good kid”: John Clayton, “Carl S. Park Sr. Made His Living in the Skies,” The Union Leader (September 14, 1998).
page 25, Instructors tell their students . . . “has no similes in our life on the ground”: Wolfgang Langewiesche. Stick and Rudder: An Explanation of the Art of Flying (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1944).
page 26, “a natural”: Geoff Dougherty. “Instructor Recalls Hero’s First Flight,” St. Petersburg Times (August 8, 1998).
page 26, he knew he was hooked: Allen, “The Disciplined Life,” Yankee.
page 26, New Hampshire produced a few . . . of note: Jean Batchelder, History& Heroes of New Hampshire Aviation (Spring Hill, Florida: Arrow Publishing Co., 1995).
page 28, “Appreciate you putting more pressure on him . . .”: Shirley Thomas, Me
n of Space, Vol. 3 (Philadelphia and New York: Chilton Co. Book Division, 1961), p. 189.
2: “I think I love you”
page 30, The U.S. Navy had first attempted to create . . . : Jack Sweetman, The U.S. Naval Academy: An Illustrated History (Annapolis, Maryland: Naval Institute Press, 1995).
page 32, There was no escape from the small cruelties of plebe life: Author interview with Robert Williams.
page 33, Shepard was forced to dive under the table: Author interview with Dick Sewall.
page 33, “As an Army brat . . .”: Letter from Bob Kirk to U.S. Naval Academy.
page 34, One classmate called Shepard “ratey”: Author interview with Paul Havenstein.
page 34, One morning Shepard organized a small rebellion: Author interview with Dick Sewall.
page 35, “There’s a bigger game, a bigger battle”: William Wallace, “Pushing Aside Games for a World War,” The New York Times (December 7, 1991).
page 35, “Gentlemen, we are at war”: Ibid.
page 36, “Hey, that’s why we were all there”: Darrell Fry, “Army-Navy ’41: On the brink; New meaning for an old rivalry eight days before Pearl Harbor,” The Washington Times (December 7, 1941).
page 38, poor grades made Shepard eligible for “reassignment”: Shepard’s academic records, obtained from the U.S. Naval Academy archives.
page 39, Shepard made a habit of it: Author interview with Dick Sewall.
page 40, Shepard “appreciated the better things in life”: Letter from Bob Kirk to U.S. Naval Academy.
page 40, “he processed a lot of women”: Author interview with Robert Williams.
page 41, stood side by side singing carols [entire scene]: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, pp. 88–89.
page 41, made many men worship her from afar: Author interview with Tamie Watters.
page 43, “VIP girls”: Juliana Brewer, oral history, Longwood Gardens’ archives.
page 43, Each year they received gifts of fine china: Ibid.
page 43, “being a girl and knowing . . .”: Louise letter to Alan (May 3, 1943).
page 43, cold and standoffish: Author interview with Ike Evans.
page 44, “Frosty” and . . . “Miss Westinghouse”: Louise letter to Alan (October 7, 1943).
page 44, It was ruled an accident, although . . . : Author interview with Dudley Shepard.
page 44, could sometimes lead to early, unexpected death: Caroline Fraser, God’s Perfect Child: Living and Dying in the Christian Science Church (New York: Henry Holt and Company, 1999).
page 45, “I hope I can really accomplish something”: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, p. 82.
pages 45–47, [Crew team details]: Author interviews with Robert Williams, H. Y. Davidson, William McLaughlin.
pages 46–47, Her shrieks filled the academy’s hospital ward: Author interview with William McLaughlin.
page 47, Nyah . . . what’s up, doc?: Author interview with H. Y. Davidson.
page 48, “Spectacularly beautiful”: Author interview with J. T. Cockrill.
page 49, Thanks seems like such an inadequate word: Louise letter to Alan, June 14, 1943.
page 51, “tip of my tongue”: Phone call to Louise (July 30, 1943).
page 51, “Maybe,” Louise suggested: Louise letter to Alan (September 25, 1943).
page 51, “pugilistic” features: Author interview with Tamie Watters.
page 52, “the most wonderful, handsome, loveable, bad boy”: Fran letter to Alan.
page 53, “But Alan, I was wrong”: Louise letter to Alan (October 7, 1943).
page 54, Fran felt “struck by lightning”: Fran letter to Alan (January 24, 1944).
page 54, “heartbreaks . . . are a part of life”: Fran letter to Alan (February 15, 1944).
page 54, George was crushed: Author interview with Don Hawes.
page 55, “I could never have been happier . . .”: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, p. 96.
page 55, “never really hit my stride”: Alan B. Shepard, unpublished interview with author Robert Sherrod.
page 56, “I was only twenty . . .”: Ibid.
3: “The kamikazes raised hell last night”
page 58, “my fiancée”: Alan Shepard letter to Robert Williams (July 28, 1944).
page 61, [Lindbergh at Biak]: Berg, Lindbergh, pp. 447–455.
page 61, “he could really put it away”: Author interview with Andrew Atwell.
page 61, One day the crew of a B-25 bomber . . . : Smaus and Spangler, America’sFirst Spaceman, p. 101; author interview with Robert Williams.
page 63, “a promising prospect” and “get my own bunk”: Shepard to Williams, Nov. 18, 1944.
page 63, “Have been running into all kinds of people”: Ibid.
page 64, “a brilliant and courageous piece of fighting”: Author interview with Howard Johnson; Howard Johnson’s personal diary.
page 64, opposition came from unexpected fronts: Ibid.
page 65, “the worst storm we have been in”: Personal diary of John F. Huber III.
page 65, “Several men have been lost over the side”: Personal diary of Howard Johnson.
page 66, “You have started me on my way as a Shepard”: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman, p. 101.
page 69, “The old ‘rump’ certainly gets around”: Shepard to Williams, Aug. 22, 1945.
page 69, “Wholesale debauchery!”: Ibid.
page 70, Perley’s mustachioed lips: Author interview with Tom Spargo.
page 70, More than once Perley sent Shepard . . . : Author interview with Andrew Atwell.
page 71, “One of these days—if I don’t get killed . . .”: Ibid.
page 72, “We have lost a lot of classmates”: Shepard letter to Williams (August 22, 1945).
page 72, The Cogswell’s first picket duty: Personal diary of John F. Huber III; personal diary of Howard Johnson.
page 72, “If we last that long”: Personal diary of John F. Huber III.
page 72, “We have a slim chance . . . I am a little bit nervous”: Personal diary of Howard Johnson.
page 73, “The smell of burned flesh and cries of pain”: Oral history of Jack Gebhart, “Oral History—War in the Pacific,” Naval Historical Center.
page 74, “The war’s not over yet!”: Author interview with John Huber.
page 74, One night . . . the throat of an officer on a ship directly behind Cogswell: Personal diary of John Huber; personal diary of Howard Johnson.
page 75, “The kamikazes raised hell last night”: Author interview with John Huber.
pages 75–76, one sailor scrambled aboard . . . crying like a baby: Author interview with Andrew Atwell.
page 76, “I heard screams as she slipped under the water”: Oral history of Jack Gebhart.
page 76, “A bottle of whisky was passed around”: Ibid.
page 76, “The burial of the dead was terrible”: Oral history of Samuel Robert Sherman, “Oral History—War in the Pacific,” Naval Historical Center.
page 77, “Much evidence of bloodshed and violence”: Author interviews with Howard Johnson and Ray Bates.
page 77, “[Much] sooner than was expected”: Shepard letter to Williams (August 22, 1945).
page 78, “turn on your lights and let them know”: Author interview with Howard Johnson.
page 78, thirty-four Navy ships were sunk off Okinawa . . . Ernie Pyle: William Manchester, The Glory and the Dream: A Narrative History of America (Boston: Little, Brown and Co., 1973), pp. 417–424.
4: “UNSAFE FOR SOLO” in Zoom Town
page 82, “They were kind of falling all over the place”: An Oral History of the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station During World War II (Del Mar College, 1995).
page 82, . . . at the urging of a young congressman named Lyndon Johnson: Ibid.
page 83, burned, peeling faces: Donald D. Engen, Wings and Warriors: My Life as a Naval Aviator (Washington, D.C.: Smithsonian Institute Pr
ess, 1997), p. 25.
page 83, “Man, I have arrived at heaven”: An Oral History of the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station.
page 84, thousands of dead frogs: Ibid.
page 85, “exuded confidence the way a lamp gives off light”: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars (Harcourt, 1992).
page 85, “tasted the proud intoxication of renunciation”: Ibid.
page 85, Of twenty-seven men aboard the two planes, only five survived: An Oral History of the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station.
pages 85–86, “were dropping down, just like rain”: Ibid.
page 87, After mastering the Stearman [all training scenes]: Author interviews with Tazewell Shepard and John Glenn.
page 88, “skill, composure, enthusiasm, judgment . . .”: An Oral History of the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station.
page 88, “It was wonderful . . . I loved it”: Paul Gillcrist, Feet Wet: Reflections of a Carrier Pilot (Pocket Books, 1990), p. 21.
page 89, he approached with his nose too high: Shepard’s flight training records, obtained from Chief of Naval Air Training in Corpus Christi.
page 90, his grades plummeted: Ibid.
page 90, “Cadet Brownstein is of quiet, meek disposition”: An Oral History of the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station.
page 91, “eager to learn . . . above average”: Shepard’s flight training records.
page 91, “Student was confused”: Ibid.
page 92, Going “to the lakes”: An Oral History of the Corpus Christi Naval Air Station.
page 93, “Barran . . . you fly like shit”: Author interview with Jack Barran.
page 93, “IN THE WRONG DIRECTION”: Shepard’s flight training records.
page 94, “UNSAFE FOR SOLO”: Ibid.
page 94, “If you are looking for perfect safety . . .”: William Langewiesche, Inside the Sky: A Meditation on Flight (New York: Vintage Books, 1999), p. 14.
page 95, hemorrhaging of grease monkeys: Author interview with Tazewell Shepard; Faludi, Stiffed.
page 96, Then it was Renza’s turn: Smaus and Spangler, America’s First Spaceman,p. 109.