Light This Candle: The Life & Times of Alan Shepard--America's First Spaceman
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page 291, You’re building up too fast. Slow down: We Seven, p. 247.
page 291, “the consequences of an unsuccessful flight”: Shepard, Life (May 19, 1961), p. 26.
page 292, “without any display of emotion”: TK, “Mrs. Shepard Sees Shot on TV,” The New York Times (AP) (May 6, 1961).
page 292, There are no reporters inside: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 110.
page 292, “I want her to hear from us”: Ibid.
page 292, “any display of emotion”: Shepard, Life (May 19, 1961), p. 26.
page 293, “the power of good and of God”: Ibid.
page 293, “Man, I got to pee”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 107; Shepard, oral history interview with Roy Neal (Johnson Space Center Oral History Project).
page 293, “Zee astronaut shall stay in zee nose cone”: Shepard, oral history interview with Roy Neal.
page 294, “If you don’t use your experience, your past is wasted”: Wainwright, “Shepard: A Cool Customer and a Hot Pilot with an Eye for the Big Picture,” Life (March 3, 1961), p. 30.
page 295, “He is afraid of the reaction”: “Kennedy Apprehension About Shepard’s Flight Comes to Light,” Associated Press (July 23, 1998).
page 295, “Please hold for the president”: Swenson et al., This New Ocean; Kapp, To the Moon, audio book.
page 295, “awed by the romance of the high frontier”: Hugh Sidey, “Why We Went to the Moon,” Time (July 25, 1994).
page 295, “Let’s find somebody—anybody”: Ibid.
page 296, Don’t screw up, Shepard: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 111.
page 297, “extremely smooth—a subtle, gentle, gradual rise”: We Seven, p. 250.
page 297, “You’re on your way, José”: Ibid.
page 298, “Go, Alan. Go, sweetheart”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 115.
page 299, “Okay, buster”: Ibid.
page 301, “obliterated most of the colors”: Robert Godwin, ed., Freedom 7: The NASA Mission Reports (Ontario: Apogee Books, 2001); author interview with Wally Schirra.
page 301, didn’t feel “on top of things”: Godwin, Freedom 7.
page 301, as if he were a “sightless organist”: Alan Shepard, untitled radio report for Voice of America (May 23, 1961).
page 301, “not one most people would want to try”: We Seven, p. 259.
page 302, “the most beautiful sight of the mission”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 124.
page 303, “a beautiful day”: Caidin, Man into Space. p. 34.
page 303, [Entire Freedom 7 scene]: We Seven; Swenson et al., This New Ocean; Results of the First U.S. Manned Suborbital Space Flight, NASA Special Publications; Barbree et al., Moonshot; Caidin, Man Into Space.
page 303, felt “like coming home”: Shepard, Academy of Achievement.
page 304, “the most emotional carrier landing”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 125.
page 304, “Myself, I damn near cried”: Williams, Go.
page 304, “I simply cannot put into words the excitement”: Wendt, Still, The Unbroken Chain, p. 35.
page 305, “I went with him all the way”: Louise Shepard, “The Spaceman’s Wife: ‘Alan Was in His Right Place,’ ” Life, Vol. 50, No. 19 (May 12, 1961).
page 305, “I felt no apprehension at any time”: Godwin, Freedom 7.
page 305, “excitement and exhilaration”: We Seven, p. 263.
page 306, “It’s a success”: Sidey, Time.
page 306, “If it had been a failure”: Author interview with Tazewell Shepard.
page 307, “a certain thrill that we were in space”: Author interview with Walter Cronkite.
page 308, “Some countries build cathedrals”: Peter Carlson, “Has NASA Lost Its Way?,” Washington Post Magazine (May 30, 1993), p. 10.
page 308, “The presumption of the American republic is”: Ibid.
page 308, “Shepard bailed out the ego of the American people”: Ibid.
page 308, “That took us all by surprise”: Author interview with John Glenn.
page 309, divert to Nassau for some liberty: Ted Wilbur, “Once a Fighter Pilot,” Naval Aviation News (1970).
page 309, lost three pounds since breakfast: Results of the First U.S. Manned Suborbital Space Flight, NASA Special Publications.
page 309, “You pulled it off real good”: Caidin, Man into Space, p. 36.
page 309, “I had to say something for the people”: Author interview with Wally Schirra.
page 309, “just a baby step”: “Mrs. Shepard Sees Shot on TV,” The New York Times (AP) (May 6, 1961).
page 310, “unusual number of needles”: Shepard, We Seven, p. 265.
page 310, “I hope that fewer bodily fluid samples are required”: “Transcript of Shepard’s News Conference,” The New York Times (May 9, 1961).
page 310, “Shepard’s brain get up, leave the room”: Schefter, The Race, p. 143.
page 310, “This is one of the burdens of a free society”: Shepard, untitled radio report for Voice of America (May 23, 1961).
page 310, “our friend Taz Shepard” and . . . “Jack Kennedy”: Louise Shepard, “The Spaceman’s Wife: ‘Alan Was in His Right Place,’ ” Life, Vol. 50, No. 19 (May 12, 1961).
15: “I believe we should go to the moon”
page 312, As they descended toward the White House . . . : Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 127.
page 313, “man can perform effectively in space”: Alan Shepard, oral history interview with Walter Sohier (for the John F. Kennedy memorial Library, 1964).
page 313, “We’re just thinking about it”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 129.
page 313, My God!: Ibid.
page 313, “Come with me”: Shepard, interview with Burke.
page 313, a standing ovation: Shepard, oral history interview with Walter Sohier.
page 314, “Shepard, if you’re going to be famous”: Shepard, interview with Burke.
page 314, “throng-packed, pulsing room of congressional leaders”: Shepard, oral history interview with Walter Sohier.
page 315, “neither a statesman nor a politician”: Shepard, untitled radio report for Voice of America (May 23, 1961).
page 315, “Becoming a public figure overnight”: Shepard, Academy of Achievement.
page 316, “the new ocean” Sidey, Time.
page 317, “great propaganda value”: Robert Dalek, An Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy, 1917–1963 (Boston: Little Brown & Company, 2003), pp. 392–395.
page 317, “in the eyes of the world . . .”: Ibid.
page 317, “a decision he made coldbloodedly”: William E. Burrows, This New Ocean: The Story of the First Space Age (New York: Random House, 1998), p. 324.
page 317, “by God, we beat them”: Dalek, An Unfinished Life, p. 652.
page 317, Kennedy’s “affinity for heroic causes”: Ibid., pp. 392–395.
page 317, Gallup poll: Burrows, This New Ocean, p. 336.
page 318, “Is this guy nuts?”: Author interview with Allen Neuharth.
page 319, “Don’t be scared”: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 258.
page 320, “What did they say, John?”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video; We Seven, p. 401.
page 320, “numb and in a state of disbelief”: Williams, Go.
page 321, He thought it was faulty circuit: Ibid.
page 321, “What’s going to happen when we cut the retro-pack loose?”: Mickey Kapp (producer), To the Moon, 6-CD audio book.
page 321, “hold the goddamn thing”: Ibid.
page 322, “We want to be damn sure on this one”: Ibid.
page 323, “Either you give me a decision or . . . : Williams, Go.
page 323, “. . . leave the retro package on”: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 271.
page 323, “cat-and-mouse game”: Ibid., p. 272.
page 323, “We are not sure whether or not . . .”: Williams, Go.
page 324, “Every nerve fiber was attuned to the heat”: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 273.
page 325, “Keep tal
king, Al”: We Seven, p. 427.
page 325, {Entire Friendship 7 scene]: Glenn, A Memoir, pp. 256–274; author interview with John Glenn; Williams, Go; Results of the First United States Manned Orbital Space Flight (NASA Special Publications, 1962); author interview with Henri Landwirth; Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 326, “It’s always been orders first”: Kapp, To the Moon, audio book.
page 326, Carpenter couldn’t help himself: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 327, “crucial observations”: Scott Carpenter, For Spacious Skies: The Uncommon Journey of a Mercury Astronaut (New York: Harcourt Inc., 2002), p. 284.
page 328, “I’ll get back to reentry attitude”: Ibid.
page 329, Gordo Cooper . . . pushed back in his chair: Williams, Go.
page 329, “as though I were watching myself . . .”: Carpenter, For Spacious Skies, p. 285.
page 329, “Scott knew he had screwed up”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 35.
pages 326–329, [Aurora 7 scene]: Carpenter, For Spacious Skies, pp. 284–293.
page 330, “He was calm under stressful conditions”: Author interview with Chris Kraft.
page 330, “that was typical of Al”: Williams, Go.
16: “I’m sick . . . should I just hang it up?”
page 332, “you were reported driving an unregistered car”: Brian O’Leary, The Making of an Ex-Astronaut (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., 1970), p. 54.
page 332, “99 percent sure”: Ibid, p. 73.
page 332, “His technique was flawless”: Cunningham, The All-American Boys, p. 80.
page 333, “You’ve got to be masculine”: Author interview with James Lovell.
page 335, “so competitive as to be ruthless”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 21.
page 337, “Well, you know I could do a better job”: Williams, Go.
page 337, “Okay, if that’s the answer, I’ll do it”: Ibid.
page 337, “This is astronaut Alan Shepard”: Wendt, Still, The Unbroken Chain, p. 16.
page 338, “What if the new fitting leaked?”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 37.
page 338, Williams . . . grabbed his throat: Ibid.
page 339, “ass on a plate”: Kraft, Flight, pp. 180–183.
page 339, “Is your suit ready?”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 339, “a grin that is typical of him”: Shorty Powers, oral history (NASA Historical Center).
page 340, “Father, we thank you”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 68.
page 343, Blobs of urine: Kraft, Flight, pp. 180–183; Cooper, Leap of Faith.
page 343, “Why don’t you all drop by for cocktails . . .”: Williams, Go.
page 344, “Just let me sit up there and see how long it will last”: Shepard, oral history interview, Roy Neal (Johnson Space Center Oral History Project).
page 344, “tell him my side of the story, too”: Ibid.
page 344, “Maybe two, maybe three days”: Alan Shepard, oral history interview, Walter Sohier.
page 344, “everything that we do ought to really be tied”: Dalek, An UnfinishedLife, pp. 392–395.
page 345, “I think we’ll have to go along with Mr. Webb”: Shepard, oral history interview, Walter Sohier.
page 345, Shepard was chosen to command the first Gemini flight: Williams, Go.
page 347, “oh-so-cool number-one leader shtick”: Carpenter, For Spacious Skies, p. 229.
page 348, The Bushes had a trampoline: Author interview with Peter Vanderhoef.
page 350, Jesus, what the hell did I drink last night? : Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 168.
page 350, Is that where the problem began? : Author interview with Robert Voas.
page 351, Finally his secret revealed itself: Author interview with Dr. William House.
page 351, “I’m having a problem . . .”: Berry, oral history interview (NASA); Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 168.
page 352, “You’re medically grounded, compadre”: Berry, oral history interview (NASA).
page 352, Shepard took the news silently: Ibid.
page 352, “total disbelief . . .”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 352, “a result of being hyper”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 168; Platt, Florida Today.
page 352, “Maybe it’s the price I pay”: Allen, Yankee.
page 353, began complaining of a sore throat: Author e-mail interview with Paul Haney.
page 353, “Too bad it didn’t cause another part of my anatomy to bulge”: Ibid.
page 354, “an ear infection”: Ibid.
page 354, “stonewalled”: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 298.
page 354, President Kennedy . . . secretly told NASA officials: Author interview with John Glenn; Glenn, A Memoir, p. 298.
page 355, “virtually immobile”: Glenn, A Memoir, p. 304.
page 355, “brought down by a slippery bath mat”: Ibid., p. 305.
page 356, “What do I do now?”: Shepard, oral history interview, Roy Neal.
page 356, “I’ve got a job for you”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 169.
17: How to succeed in business without really flying—much
page 357, Norman Mailer . . . Hugh Hefner: Oriana Fallaci, The Egotists (Chicago: Henry Regnery Company, 1963), pp. 1–18, 113–124.
page 358, “You need a cow”: Fallaci, If the Sun Dies, p. 94.
page 359, “changing diapers and feeding astronauts”: Barbree et al., Moonshot,pp. 169– 170.
page 359, “cold eyes seemed to look right through me”: Eugene Cernan, with Don Davis, Last Man on the Moon (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1999), p. 58.
page 359, “a bastard” and “the enforcer”: Robert Sherrod, unpublished manuscript (NASA archives).
page 359, “He didn’t make a lot of friends”: Author interview with Walter Cronkite.
page 359, “the mental anguish”: “Alan Shepard: Oldest, Richest of Astronauts,” Washington Post (January 3, 1971).
page 360, “Al could be friendly”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 178.
page 360, “just mad at the world”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 360, He had little tolerance: Ibid.
page 361, turned down an invitation: “Subject: Alan Shepard,” Federal Bureau of Investigation (1971).
page 362, [Cape Colony sale]: Landwirth, Gift of Life, p. 147.
page 362, “the Loan Eagle”: Author interview with James Lovell.
page 362, “swindling” him: “Subject: Alan Shepard,” FBI.
page 362, [Oil-drilling venture and cattle ranch]: Ibid.
page 363, Shepard once reprimanded: O’Leary, The Making of an Ex-Astro naut,p. 165.
page 363, “I didn’t deliberately try to intimidate him”: Shepard, unpublished interview with author Robert Sherrod.
page 364, “the shrewdest of the bunch”: Collins, Carrying the Fire, p. 59.
page 364, Cunningham . . . “dollars”: Cunningham, The All-American Boys, pp. 170–171.
page 364, “losing our lunch money”: Ibid., p. 173.
page 367, A typical astronaut day . . . : Ibid.
page 367, “week in the barrel”: Collins, Carrying the Fire, p. 93.
page 368, “He never talked about it”: Author interview with Chuck Friedlander.
page 368, “bulging eyes” and “stare right through you”: Author interview with James Lovell.
page 369, “A very cold person”: Author interview with Lola Morrow.
page 371, [Shorty’s drinking and reassignment]: Author interviews with Jay Barbree and Paul Haney; Shorty Powers, oral history (NASA).
page 372, “a monster”: Author interview with Wally Schirra.
page 373, [Gallup polls and Picasso]: Burrows, This New Ocean, p. 380.
page 374, “This is the worst spacecraft I’ve ever seen”: Shepard, oral history interview, Roy Neal.
page 374, “misgivings”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 193.
page 374, lemon . . . “a piece of crap”: Ibid; Betty Grissom and Henry Still,
Starfall (New York: Ty Crowell Co., 1974).
page 374, [North American’s problems]: Richard S. Lewis, Appointment on the Moon (New York: The Viking Press, 1968); Burrows, This New Ocean.
page 375, “sloppy and unsafe”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 199.
page 377, “Did we lose anybody?”: Author interview with Chuck Friedlander.
page 377, “I’ll never forget the pain in Al Shepard’s eyes”: Author interview with Lola Morrow.
page 377, “I hate those empty-slot flyovers”: Author interview with Paul Haney.
page 378, “the conquest of space is worth the risk of life”: From the Earth to the Moon (HBO Studios, 1998).
page 378, A lengthy follow-up report determined . . . : Lewis, Appointment on the Moon, p. 388.
page 378, “downright criminal”: Burrows, This New Ocean, pp. 410–413.
page 378, “But Al was worse”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
page 379, congressional report . . . “overconfidence” and “complacency”: Lewis, Appointment on the Moon, p. 396.
page 379, “Deke and I insidiously became part of the problem”: Shepard, oral history interview, Roy Neal.
page 379, Shepard got even tougher: Ibid.
page 379, “He was mad at the world”: Author interview with Gene Cernan.
page 379, “Don’t you think you’re being a little tough . . .?”: Moonshot, Turner Home Video.
18: “Captain Shepard? I’m Charles Lindbergh”
pages 384–385, [Josiah Bartlett’s story]: Donald Lines Jacobus, ed., The Shepard Families of New England, Vol. III (New Haven: The New Haven Colony Historical Society, 1973), p. 52.
page 386, “I convinced myself it would eventually work itself out”: Ted Wilbur, “Once a Fighter Pilot,” Naval Aviation News (1970).
page 388, “aloof” [entire scene]: Author interview with Walter Cronkite.
page 388, “Get me a flight to the moon”: Barbree et al., Moonshot, p. 253.
page 389, “a stroke of genius”: Ibid.
page 390, “the most beautiful, heart-catching sight”: Ibid., p. 233.
pages 390–391, made Cooper “furious”: Cooper, Leap of Faith, p. 178.
page 391, “Deke and I are making crew assignments now”: Ibid., p. 180.
page 391, [McDivitt’s complaints]: Slayton and Cassut, DEKE!, p. 236.
page 392, “What could possibly be the difference”: James Lovell and Jeffrey Kluger, Apollo 13 (New York: Pocket Books, 1995), p. 61.