Let Love Win

by Nicola May

  Bert woke himself up with a big snore and half-opened one eye. He reached for his glasses and looked at his watch. ‘Good. I haven’t missed it.’ He spoke aloud and turned to the racing page of the paper that was still folded neatly on his lap. He smiled at the sleeping Margaret and the nearly empty bottle of sherry beside her. Two glasses on the tray? He’d completely slept through a guest. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d done that, that was for sure. It couldn’t have been our Ruby, he thought. Because, whoever it was had left some sort of designer spectacle case behind.

  He shuffled to the kitchen, burping as he went in search of a piece of paper. Still half-asleep, noticing one of Margaret’s familiar Basildon Bond blue envelopes propped up against the metal tea pot, he began to write down his runners for the evening meeting at Windsor on the back of it.

  – Chapter Seventy-Six –

  James appeared in the beautiful front room of Daffodils rubbing his eyes. He spotted Fi in her dressing-gown lying on the velvet chaise. The French doors were open on to the magnificent garden that Nick and Ruby had worked so hard at tidying up the day before. The soothing noise of the stream running nearby and the birds singing made for a perfect morning greeting. The pregnant Fi already had her hand in a plate of gherkins.

  ‘You’re up early, darling.’

  ‘I know. Sorry if I woke you. The sun came streaming through the curtains at six a.m. and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Then I heard the door slam at eight. The two of them must have gone walking like they said they were going to, now the weather is so beautiful. Bloody early though.’

  ‘I went out like a light after all that wine, but I’m sure I stirred around three and heard them shagging last night.’

  ‘Nah, I don’t think Ruby feels that way for him or she’d have done it on the first night. You know what she’s like with the younger ones.’

  ‘Look at you, Miss Prissy Pants over there. You had me for the first time right on that chaise longue, to be exact, in broad bloody daylight. Anyone could have walked in.’

  ‘I fancied the arse off ya, that’s why.’

  ‘And do you still?’ James said matter-of-factly.

  ‘Don’t be an eejit, of course I do. Now go and get me a cup of that Bovril.’

  ‘Yuk.’

  ‘I know. Why can’t I crave something decent? The ice-cream’s all right but bloody gherkins and a beef drink!’

  Fi lay her head back and rubbed her tummy. James was back quickly with a steaming mug of Bovril which he placed on a side table next to his fiancée. He kissed her on the forehead.

  ‘You look even more beautiful now you’re pregnant, you know.’

  ‘Blimey, it’s me who’s kissed the Blarney Stone, not you.’

  ‘I mean it, you silly mare. I love you, Fiona Donahue.’

  ‘Well, I guess that’s a good bloody job as you’re going to be hopefully spending the rest of your life with me, oh and baby Kane here.’

  ‘We could have another, why stop at one? Now that we know we can do it so easily. Maybe even pick sperm from the same father so they are genuine siblings.’

  Fi felt slightly sick and it was nothing to do with the pregnancy. She closed her eyes so as not to lie with them.

  James pulled a pouffe over and sat facing her. He took both her hands in his.

  ‘I know you slept with someone else, Fi.’

  Fi gulped. ‘No… I…’

  He put his hand up to stop her carrying on. Then he lifted her left hand and kissed the top of it. ‘I know you so well - but it’s fine. It’s actually fine. I pushed you to it. I pushed you away on purpose, not thinking for one minute you’d hang in there and let yourself be treated so badly. You are usually such a strong woman.’

  Tears flowed down Fi’s cheeks. ‘But our love was stronger.’

  James gulped back his own tears as the Irish one continued. ‘And as for fancying you? I adore you. I have loved you since the minute we nigh on broke the springs on this thing. You are my world, James. And I’m so bloody sorry.’

  ‘Does the father know it’s his?’

  She knew she had to tell one last lie. It would be too complicated otherwise. James was clever, but she just hoped that even he, with his first-class degree in Law, hadn’t managed to work this one out. The law of averages would say that a very tall black, orange-haired, camp vicar of the parish would be the last suspect on his list.

  ‘God, no! It was one-night stand. You know what I’m like with sex. I just needed it and it was on a plate. I should have been born a man!’

  ‘For that, I’m glad you weren’t.’

  ‘And I was cross with you, because you did hurt me and I didn’t understand why you were being so cruel when I had done nothing wrong. I just wish you had talked to me. I could have shared your pain.’

  ‘I know, I behaved appallingly. At the time I felt convinced that I was no good for you, that I should set you free. That’s how much I love you, Fi. Set you free so you didn’t have to stay with someone who couldn’t do what he was put on this earth to do.’

  ‘Now that’s bollocks because it doesn’t make you a lesser person if you can’t have children. In fact, I think it makes you a stronger one. If you can deal with that being thrown at you, you can deal with anything. I love you no less for it. Come here.’

  She pulled him forward and cradled his head in her heavy bosom.

  ‘Yes, I did wrong but we were going to have a baby that wasn’t ours anyway. And on a positive note I didn’t have to go through the anguish of whether the IVF would work. The father will never know, but he was a good man, I could tell, and our baby will be amazing.’

  ‘What if he sees you with the baby and puts two and two together?’

  ‘That won’t happen.’

  ‘How can you be so sure?’

  ‘One, he’s not from London and we did use a condom. He just didn’t know that it split. And before you ask, I went to Tony’s clinic and I got checked out for anything nasty.’

  When James stood up and walked away from her, Fi began to panic. Shit, he knew it was Simon’s baby. He knew she had just lied again! This would be the last straw for him, however much he loved her.

  ‘Oh, James. I know I’ve been a complete whore, but let’s move on from this. We know we can make it work.’

  Fi bit her lip. Mentioning the clinic had obviously wobbled him too, despite everything he had just said. Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut sometimes. He was a bloke, he wouldn’t probably have even thought to be worried about that.

  Knowing he was a thinker, she saw little point in running after him. Instead, she had just started to doze off, when his familiar voice stirred her.

  ‘Of course we can make it work you stupid cow.’ She opened her eyes, smiled and then burst out laughing.

  For there, standing in the doorway, was the usually quiet and reserved Mr James Kane with a beautiful diamond engagement ring hanging by a pink ribbon from his very erect penis. He put on a thick Irish accent.

  ‘Now get this on your fat fecking finger and get those filthy knickers off.’

  – Chapter Seventy-Seven –

  ‘Bugger!’ Michael couldn’t find his glasses anywhere. He was always mislaying them. He hated putting contacts in but he would have to as he couldn’t possibly write without them. He was feeling tetchy for not smoking and also because he so couldn’t wait to talk to Ruby.

  Seeing Margaret had made it worse in a way, made him feel closer to Ruby by association.

  He clicked open his laptop. Barney sighed heavily on the floor by his feet.

  Let Love Win by Michael Bell

  Chapter 29: Michael didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of a letter before. So much easier than dealing with the sexy feisty red-headed Ruby face-to-face. She could sit and read it quietly. In fact, he remembered her showing him the letters that Lucas had written when he had left her Daffodils in his will. She had been touched by them. Let’s hope she would feel the same about his. Maybe now this would be it? She
would come to her senses and love would win.

  Michael cringed as he heard the back door slam. ‘I’m home, Pooky - and guess what the mumsy wumsy-to-be has got to show you?’

  Emily swanned into the study. ‘Just look, more of that delicious lacy underwear - your favourite. Shall I?’

  Michael was just thinking that he quite fancied a shag.

  ‘You shall - and make sure you wear it with those red four-inch stilettos of yours.’

  ‘Come on, big boy, come on - let me ride you harder.’ Emily pounded down on Michael. Despite her now pendulous pregnant breasts bouncing in front of his eyes, he shut them.

  ‘Oh Justin!’ Emily cried out as she came. Michael sat bolt upright and pushed her off of him a little too roughly. ‘Justin? Who the fuck is Justin?’

  ‘Er… I was just listening to Justin Timberlake’s new single in the car, must have been on my mind. I mean, how hot is he?’

  ‘Hah! Yes, of course. Justin Timberlake.’ Michael got up off the bed and pulled on his dressing-gown. ‘How silly of me not to think that.’ He had fire in his eyes. ‘Not Justin - my best mate Justin - then? Nah, of course it wouldn’t be, couldn’t be. My darling sweet little Emily fucking MY BEST MATE!’ he shouted as loud as his voice would allow.

  Michael had to stop typing and get up and go to the loo. With the sudden memory of his best mate doing the dirty with Emily in real life, his sexual tingle from writing the sex scene had completely gone.

  He just had to get over it. And he hoped by changing his mind and putting it earlier in the novel, this might help him. It wasn’t the fact that he wanted Emily back, just the betrayal by his best mate and the actual moment when he caught them at it. It was just so hard to bear. He couldn’t even relive the actual scenario in his novel, it would have hurt too much.

  He snapped his laptop shut. His head wouldn’t allow him to write any more today. He could tell Emily what a slag she was in Chapter 30. She would end up as a single parent with no money as her parents would disown her and Justin would have already moved on to the next best not pregnant young thing. Her selfish heart would be broken and he would live happily ever after with Ruby. The End.

  He took a deep breath and thought of Ruby. Pretty, vibrant, funny, kind, sexy Ruby. Oh, how he loved that girl.

  He didn’t know exactly when she would be back but guessed it must be around now. Surely Margaret had given her the letter? What if she didn’t want to call him? What if she had got over him? After all, he had been a complete dick when he turned up at the Bow Wow. Maybe she was still seeing matey boy dead husband look-a-like? Maybe she had even gone away with him? He began to feel angry and sad at the same time. If love was going to win, it was taking its bloody time to get to the finishing line.

  He got up to fill the kettle when there was a knock at the door. Barney sat up and began to bark loudly. Strange. Only a handful of people knew where he lived. Opening it tentatively, he saw who it was and a frown crossed his face.

  ‘Justin?’

  ‘Micky boy.’

  Michael couldn’t manage any sort of noise. It was actually a comfort to see his best mate, but he also wanted to punch him right in the face.

  His friend stood in the doorway as tall as his five foot eleven frame would allow. ‘Fancy a pint, mate?’

  The big man nodded slowly.

  – Chapter Seventy-Eight –

  Ruby and Nick were puffing hard as they walked up Skiddaw. The colours, sights and sounds of the bright summer morning touched each of their senses. The scenery all around them really was quite breathtaking.

  ‘I thought I was fit,’ Nick panted.

  ‘You are that.’ Ruby poked him in the ribs.

  ‘I can’t believe you got me up so early,’ he grumbled. ‘And with a hangover too.’

  ‘But look around you: it was so worth it, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah. It’s stunning, Ruby.’

  ‘Here.’ She took his hand. ‘Just look.’

  The views over Derwentwater were simply breathtaking. The sun warmed their faces. Birdsong filled the air. It was a perfect moment.

  ‘Shall we sit for a moment, get some food in us?’ Nick suggested. ‘I’m bloody starving.’

  ‘Deffo.’ Ruby unpacked the coffee flask and some currant buns she had buttered earlier. ‘Quite the Famous Five, aren’t we?’ she joked.

  ‘All we are missing is a Julian, George and Timmy.’

  ‘Definitely missing a George, that’s for sure.’

  ‘Oh, Rubes. I’m sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. This place is full of him and I like that. It’s good to have memories. In fact, up here is where I declared my undying love for him.’

  ‘Aw, that’s sweet and what a wonderful place to do it.’

  ‘Not quite. I had slated his fiancée, he had gone mad and then I suddenly realised how I felt about him. He said it was too late, stormed off and a mountain rescue team had to find me as a thick mist came down.’

  ‘No!’ Nick bit his lip but had to laugh. ‘That is so terrible but funny at the same time.’

  ‘I know. But imagine being up here in the winter and not being able to see a way down? I was shitting myself. I kept thinking of Lucas to keep me going. This is where I threw his ashes. I feel him around me too. I loved Lucas. He was so special to me, even though I didn’t know him for long. Such a wise and charismatic man.’

  They ate the buns and then lay back on the grass looking up at the bright blue sky with its tufts of willowy cloud. After ten minutes of lying there in silence, Nick lifted himself on to his elbow and looked down at Ruby.

  ‘Thanks for last night. It was really special.’ He kissed her gently on the nose.

  ‘Yes, it was lovely. Sex with someone you care about is the best sort.’

  ‘This is special too, Ruby. This moment with you.’

  Nick lay back down and they held hands, looking at the sky and continuing their silence.

  Ruby thought back to throwing the physical remains of Lucas Geronimo Steadburton at the sky. James and Fi had been with them too, and had laughed that she had carried him up in a plastic container, knowing that the gay, debonair, BAFTA winning actor would have much preferred being carried in a silver goblet of some sort.

  Now what was it he had said in one of his letters to her? She spoke aloud. ‘Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  Ruby repeated it. ‘Mark Twain said it. Isn’t it amazing?’

  ‘Especially the love like you’ve never been hurt bit.’ Nick sat up. ‘We need to do that now, Rubes.’

  Ruby sat up and leaned on his shoulder. ‘Nick, I… er… I do really like you…’

  ‘Carry on. I’m waiting for the but.’ And then Nick laughed. ‘I’m teasing you. Go to him. If what I’ve done for you is made you realise you should be with a man you love, then wow, what a reason for us to have met.’

  Ruby jumped up. ‘I bloody love him, Nick. It’s this place. It makes me see sense! Lucas makes me see sense.’ She had tears running down her face. ‘I’ve been such a cow. Dear, sweet Michael has been nothing but good to me and for me - and I have treated him like shit.’

  ‘He will understand. You are ready for happiness, Ruby, and he seems a top bloke. I mean, the fact he came to The Bow Wow Club to try and understand you better - that alone makes him decent.’

  ‘Yes, it does. Suddenly everything seems clear. I’m so sorry though. About us, I mean.’

  ‘Ruby, I cannot think of anyone else I would have rather made love to, since losing Milly. It is another thing to tick off the list in the Bereaved Road to Recovery Guide, and only you would understand that. Don’t get me wrong. I think you are amazing. I love your company. But, if we are honest with each other, we are a stepping stone. Our common understanding of grief does bind us but we are not The One for either of us. We met each other for a reason. And it makes me warm insi
de to think that they are looking out for us, up there, you know.’

  Ruby hugged Nick tightly, pulled away, then kissed him hard on the lips.

  ‘I love you, Fireman Redwood and I hope you will always be in my life as a friend.’

  ‘The feeling’s mutual, Miss Designer Pants, and if things don’t work out with the big lad then, well, we can always be friends with benefits.’

  ‘It’s a win, win then. I am so glad you feel the same way! I mean, how often does that happen in affairs of the heart?’

  ‘Let’s hope more than we think. I mean, look at us with Milly and George. True love.’

  ‘And that’s what makes it all the sadder. Losing your baby girl too. Oh, Nick.’

  ‘It hasn’t killed me, so all it can do is make me stronger. I will never forget them, Ruby. Like you will never forget your George. But we either lie on the floor face down and bash our arms around like toddlers and scream, or we get up, brush ourselves down and get on with it.’

  Ruby threw her arms in the air dramatically. ‘Yes, let’s live like it’s heaven on earth.’ She started to run fast back down the hill.

  Nick caught up with her and swung her round. ‘You dramatic old cow.’

  ‘I am just dancing like nobody’s watching. Milly, George and baby Annabel with be with us forever. We can draw from their love. There can never be too much love in our hearts. I feel so good. I feel so free.’

  ‘Good. I’ve never seen you look so happy and it suits you, Rubes. Now come on, you’ve got a man to catch.’

  – Chapter Seventy-Nine –

  ‘Thanks for not punching me, mate.’

  Justin and Michael supped on their pints in a busy Clapham bar.

  ‘Well, it wouldn’t be a fair fight, would it? I’d have knocked you into next Tuesday.’ Michael’s six feet four stature made even the five feet eleven Justin seem small.

  ‘I’m truly sorry, Micky. I acted like a complete wanker.’

  ‘Yeah, you did. You cut me up badly. And if so much time hadn’t passed I might not be quite so calm with you. But you did me a favour in a way, taking on that silly bitch.’