Just Like Heaven

by Steven Slavick

  A smile formed on her face.

  It made Nick grin. He lifted his head, full of pride, no longer interested in his artwork, as he watched her reaction.

  She read the note. And her grin turned into a frown. Hesitating for a moment, she turned her head as though expecting to find a creature creeping up on her. She caught sight of Nick and her frown deepened as she spun around toward the front of the class.

  The enthusiasm in Nick’s face died. He looked as though someone had just told him that Santa Claus didn’t exist.

  “That must have been tough,” Roland said.

  “Happens to everybody,” Nick said. “No big deal.” But over the next five or six years, each time he approached a girl, whether or not he actually liked them, he expected a frown to appear whenever he’d opened his mouth to say hi.

  Roland just nodded, looking unconvinced.

  The screen displayed another scene: Nick at nine years of age, crouching in a small aisle of a gas station, surrounded by rows of candy. His seven-year old brother, Harold, stood at the front of the aisle, watching the cashier behind the glass, counting out change for the customer standing before him. Harold twirled his hand, signaling Nick, who grabbed a couple stacks of Hershey bars, Whatchamacallits, and Milky Ways and stuffed them down his pant pockets.

  Then he got to his feet, cocked his head for Harold to follow, and headed toward the door, keeping his gaze straight ahead.

  “Hey, you two,” said the cashier, opening the transparent door behind the counter and hurrying toward them.

  Harold stopped, raising his hands as though he’d committed a felony. “Nick stole the candy. I didn’t even want to. He made me.”

  “Is that right?” asked the cashier. “Sounds like a case for the cops.”

  Nick, lowering his head just as he reached the door, turned around. Glaring at his brother, he withdrew the candy from his pockets as he approached the cashier. “Way to turn on your family,” Nick said, curling his lip in disgust. The picture paused on that expression.

  Roland grunted. “My, oh my: a thief at nine years old. What will we discover when young Nicholas turns sixteen? The suspense is killing me. Get it, killing – because I’m already dead?”

  “A sense of humor. Wow, I’m impressed. How much did you pay for it?” Nick disregarded his image on screen. It was the first (and last) time that he’d ever stolen something. He didn’t even want to take the candy. He only did it to see if he could trust Harold, who’d earlier promised to stop tattling on him for everything from tossing his baseball glove into the yard, only to forget to pick it up before his father ran it over with the lawnmower, to forgetting to close the front door on a January afternoon, allowing frigid air to enter their home, thereby forcing his dad to pay an expensive heating bill that month. Nick could still hear his father shouting at him, “What, are we heating the whole damn neighborhood now?”

  Another scene: Nick at thirteen, sitting at a rectangular table in school, drawing a human hand. Two boys flanked him and a girl sat opposite him. Then a shadow appeared over his sketch. He looked up.

  “Why did you call me last night?” asked a cute girl with long, shiny black hair. “I don’t like you, Nick. I don’t know why you keep telling me you love me.” Her face was red with embarrassment. “We don’t even know each other. I don’t like you,” she said, raising her voice to ensure that her classmates heard her. “Stop calling my house.” She stormed away.

  The entire class of twenty-five kids looked up from their school work and stared at him. Then they started laughing. Some pointed. Others rocked in their chairs with delight. The girl returned to her seat, looking relieved to have set the story straight, to have saved her reputation from further humiliation.

  Nick glanced at a kid he considered a friend then launched himself at the boy, knocking them both to the ground. Nick started pounding the kid’s cheeks and ears with fists, until his teacher pulled him off. The picture froze on that image.

  “What was that about?” asked Roland.

  “That jerk called Veronica the night before, claiming to be me and telling her that I loved her. He did the same thing with four other girls.”

  “What happened? Did you like her?”

  “No. She was right. I didn’t even know her.”

  The video rolled: Nick sitting at another circular table wearing the same t-shirt and jeans from the previous scene. Another shadow appeared over his sketch of a dolphin. He looked up.

  “Yes, Nick,” said a girl with glasses and frizzy brown hair. She smiled down at him.

  He glared at her. “What do you want?”

  “Yes, I’d like to be your girlfriend.” Her smile widened.

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t ask you out. Are you crazy? Leave me alone.” He looked down at his artwork again and continued working, ignoring her even though her shadow hovered over his sketch. The screen paused on that image.

  “That was…” Roland didn’t finish the sentence.

  Nick dragged his gaze away from the screen. He’d buried that memory in the deepest corner of his mind. After all, who would want to remember treating someone so horribly? But why would it appear now? For what purpose?

  “You knew how that felt, so I’m curious: why did you treat her that way?”

  “I’m sure it was no big deal.”

  “Really? Let’s find out.”

  The screen splayed an image of a bedroom with pink walls covered with posters of the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, and Britney Spears. The bed was covered with a Spice Girls blanket. The same girl that had accepted Nick’s “proposal” threw herself onto her bed, stuffing her face into the blanket. Sobbing, her body quaked with every ragged breath.

  “Shareen, are you okay in there?” a woman asked from the hallway.

  The girl stopped crying. She wiped the tears from her eyes and faced the door. “Yes,” she said with an unsteady tone. “I’m fine, Mom.”

  “Okay, honey. Dinner in fifteen minutes. Salmon and macaroni and cheese.”

  The footsteps receded.

  Staring at the door, Shareen’s face crumbled again and tears surged into her eyes again. She covered her mouth to prevent eliciting a single sob as she fell back to the bed, curling her body into a fetal position. The screen froze.

  “No big deal,’” Roland said, quoting Nick.

  “What is this about?” Nick asked, turning to his companion. “Why are we here? What do you want with me?”

  “This is your dream, is it not? Why don’t you enlighten me?”

  “You know what? This is a bunch of shit. I’m outta here.” Nick turned around and headed for the door. He opened it up, stepped out, and walked up to the railing, only to find that he stood about thirty floors up.” He made his way toward the staircase, looking to his left at a set of closed doors. He moved quicker and past another closed door. Then another. And another.

  Even though the staircase was only forty yards ahead, he didn’t seem to have gotten any closer to it. Only a few people walked along this path. The same went for the landing opposite him. But those he did see were accompanied by another individual. And in each case, every person looked solemn, as though whatever they had experienced had weighed heavily on their souls.

  Nick picked up his pace, jogging now, still checking out the doors – each one closed. That had to be symbolic. What would a closed door mean? And he’d already run more than forty yards, but the staircase seemed just as far away as it had been upon exiting that room with Roland.

  Irritated, he stopped before a closed door, grabbed the doorknob, and turned it. It didn’t budge. He ran over to the next one. Same thing. Now, both angry and somewhat frightened, he rushed over to another door and tried the knob. Locked.

  “Dammit,” he shouted.

  The profanity reverberated throughout the hall, his voice bellowing with such ear-splitting precision that every person in the building looked up as one, staring directly at him as they cupped their hands to their ears.

/>   Nick had never before felt so exposed, so humbled, so ashamed. But he didn’t know why he felt that way. He just knew that he shouldn’t have used that particular word to express his emotions. More than that, his anger felt not only inappropriate but out of place in this building.

  “The Lord frowns upon such words,” Roland said, standing beside Nick.

  “Jesus,” he said, jumping at his sudden appearance.

  “Are you trying to incur His wrath?”

  “What’s going on here? Is this some kind of insane asylum? Everyone looks so serious. They look at me like I’m some kind of freak show.” He approached Roland and grabbed him by the lapel, spinning him so that his back pressed up against the railing. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “I told you, Nicholas. You’re dead.”

  “Bullsh—I mean…” Unable to find a word to express his fury, he tilted Roland’s back against the bannister, pivoting him in such a way that his right leg left the ground, tipping him off balance. “I will push you over. I swear to God, I’ll throw you right off this ledge.”

  “You’re not a murderer, Nicholas. I know you better than you know yourself. You’re many things, but you’re not a murderer.”

  Grabbing Roland tightly, consumed with confusion and rage, Nick didn’t pay attention to how much he’d hoisted his companion off his feet, nor to which extent that he’d slanted Roland off balance, so that by the time that he felt his comrade pitch backwards, he didn’t have the speed or the strength to pull him back to the floor.

  And that’s when Roland surprised him. Just as he fell, Roland clutched Nick’s hand and dragged him along as they both went over the railing.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Thanks again for being my guide,” Nina said to Mei Lee as they entered the Hall of Wisdom. Then, hearing a scream from overhead, she looked up to find two people hurtling through the air towards them.

  Mei Lee shook her head, unimpressed. “That Roland: such a drama queen.”

  “That’s Nick up there screaming!”

  “And Roland right beside him laughing like a lunatic.”

  About fifty feet above them, the screaming and laughing died out. A moment later, Roland and Nick stood beside Nina and Mei Lee.

  Eyes bulging, heaving for air, Nick looked at one arm before turning to the other then checked to make sure that he still had legs. Finding Roland beside him again, he flinched. “Jesus! Why do you keep sneaking up on me like that?”

  “It rattles you.” He released a pent-up smile. “I find it tremendously entertaining. But must you continue with the heavy breathing? It’s more than a bit melodramatic.”

  Nick turned and saw Nina. A smile formed on his lips. “Hi.”

  Just as in the past, an irresistible force drew Nina towards him. She didn’t know why, and she couldn’t explain how or why she felt tethered to him. The connection went beyond words, and she didn’t even try to give it any further thought. “Doing some skydiving?” she asked.

  “Yeah, what was that?” he asked Roland. “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “Well, no, because you’re—”

  “Already dead,” Nick said, completing the sentence. He addressed Nina: “The Colonel insists that I’m dead. He’s trying to tell me I’m in heaven.” He glanced around. “But it seems more like hell.”

  Mei Lee narrowed her eyes on him, and her lips tightened, as though she refrained from saying something she would later regret. Regardless, when she looked at him, her entire aura changed from relaxed and lighthearted to anxious and…uncertain.

  As for Roland, he didn’t even seem to notice Mei Lee’s presence. But Nina felt that he intended to give this impression, based on his reluctance to turn toward her, making it obvious that he snubbed her as a conscious choice. And Nina realized they had a history all their own, peaking her curiosity level. Yet, she couldn’t call up any insight into their relationship.

  “Oh, it’s that way, is it?” Mei Lee asked Roland.

  He turned to her. “Whatever do you mean?”

  “Don’t ignore me. Your concerns were heard but overruled.”

  Roland’s eyes flared with anger. “You disregarded my concerns. Then you carried on with your own designs.”

  “We needed to make a decision.”

  “And I voted against your course of action.”

  “You were the only one. The council even argued against you. Don’t put this all on me.”

  “What?” He stepped up to her, brushing past Nick, as though he’d forgotten that he stood among others and had entered into a private conversation.

  Nina glanced at Nick, who half-smiled at her, looking eager to hear Roland argue with another person. Indeed, it looked out of character for a man who seemed so precise and articulate. Not only that, but until now he’d carried himself with a rigid stance that made it seem as though he took part in the Changing the Guard at Buckingham Palace in London, where he planned out every movement in advance before carrying it out.

  Knowing Mei Lee as a free spirit, Nina couldn’t imagine that she might consider Roland a romantic partner. But the deep passion that burned in his eyes as he scrutinized Mei Lee proved otherwise. It confirmed that whatever they shared meant a great deal to them both. How else could she explain the intense emotions that blazed between them during what seemed like a casual, unexpected visit.

  Roland said, “You recommended that we set out on this course. If anyone can comprehend the difficulty of this journey, it’s you. Have you learned nothing from our past?”

  Nick waved a hand through Roland’s field of view to get his attention. “Previously on Young and the Restless…” He favored Mei Lee with a knowing smile. “One woman scorned.” He whirled to Roland. “One man betrayed.”

  Thrown off balance, Mei Lee looked at him with a wavering expression, unsure how to tangle with Roland’s intensity and Nick’s disruptive nonchalance.

  Nick said, “Did Mei Lee sleep with…Roland’s brother?”

  Roland turned a blazing glare on Nick. “This is no time for games, Nicholas.”

  He held up both hands. “Just trying to lighten things up a bit.” He smiled at Nina. “While these two work out their issues, let’s go grab a burger.”

  That comment interrupted Mei Lee’s response. When she glanced at Roland, she either realized their heated argument didn’t justify causing a scene or she preferred to save it for later, because she looked to Nick. And burst out laughing.

  Although Nina also found the remark hilarious, she appreciated it more for disrupting the dispute. Her earliest memories brought to mind how her parents quarreled, and when people she cared about argued with each other, she had a difficult time calming her nerves and maintaining objectivity.

  But she admired how Nick refused to let their bickering affect him by injecting humor into the sensation, thereby diffusing the tension. It made her feel…safe with him. Most women would feel secure with a man who could handle any situation with a more potent display of power, but Nick had achieved the same results without raising the tension level. And if faced with an outside threat, she would also prize that temperament. Short of that, Nina preferred the easygoing confidence that Nick had just displayed.

  She walked alongside him. “Where are we going to…get a burger?” She stifled a smile.

  “There’s gotta be a Mickey D’s around here.” He exited the building and glanced in either direction. “Just those three buildings! And green hills?”

  She refrained from stating that those who felt at home in heaven experienced a different awareness than those shrouded with doubt. As for Nina, she saw more than the three buildings behind them, which everyone saw regardless of their expectations, but not as much as she would have observed if she belonged in heaven. She didn’t know if she was supposed to remain here or return to her life on earth.

  Nick halted and said, “There’s something freaky going on here, and I’m going to find out what it is. But not before I find a McDonald’s. I want a cheeseburger,
some fries, and a vanilla shake. After that, I’ll be back to normal. I just need…” He continued onwards again but after one step, he stopped.

  The Golden Arches were straight ahead.

  “What the…can you believe that? There’s Ronald waving us over. He wasn’t there a second ago. This is insane.”

  “It’s right where it’s supposed to be.”

  “It’s a miracle!” He grinned. “Let’s go get a bite.” He held out his arm.

  Nina laughed at his chivalrous manner and linked her arm with his. “For our first date, you’re taking me to McDonald’s?”

  “Ask yourself: can you find better fries on the planet? Wait…this is a date?”

  “You mean it’s not?”

  “Well, I mean, I’d like it to be. I just don’t remember asking you out.”

  She shrugged. “Then it’s not.”

  “Wait a minute. If I say it’s a date, it’s a date.”

  “To McDonald’s.” She snickered.

  “I’m treating you to one of the world’s finest cuisines, and you’re being difficult. You trick me into saying this is a date and now—”

  Nina couldn’t help laughing. He was boyish yet very masculine at the same. She got the impression that he’d be a wonderful father. “A cheap date. You obviously don’t think much of me. Where do you plan on taking me after our world-class meal? It better be really amazing, because not many places could surpass McDonald’s in the excitement category.”

  A smile peeked through his annoyance. “I’ll think of something.” He reached the door and opened it for her.

  She entered the vestibule.

  He followed her inside. “You have an adorable smile. Did anybody ever tell you that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Way to kill a guy’s confidence.”

  “I can’t kill your confidence because—”

  “It’s already dead. Yeah, very funny.” He reached for the door before she could grab the handle, so he could open it for her. When they entered the restaurant, they found it completely empty. “What the…”

  Nina ignored his confusion. She went up to the front counter. “What do I want?”