Mended Heart

by Mary Manners

  ****

  Jade scanned the newsletter scheduled to go out in today’s mail. A photo of Shane, pasted at the head of his article, stared back at her. His piercing gaze dared her to pour over his message of reflection and wisdom.

  It should be illegal to look that good. Unruly dark hair kissed impossibly broad shoulders. She wrenched her eyes from the picture. She’d already read the article, and was more perplexed by Shane than she could have ever imagined. He was a paradox, one moment cocky and headstrong while another contemplative and tender. It just didn’t add up.

  She sighed and blew a wisp of hair from her forehead before leaning over to extinguish a dwindling votive candle atop the file cabinet. The scent of freesia calmed her.

  What was she thinking to even consider going to lunch with him? Did he think he could command her to go and she’d just fall in like an obedient little soldier? She’d show him a thing or two. She grabbed her purse from the floor beside her chair, slung the worn leather strap over her shoulder, and strode into the hall. If she left, Shane would just have to go to lunch alone. That would send a clear message for him to back off. Maybe then he’d just leave her alone.

  She pulled the office door closed and locked it. Pastor Charles would have his own key if he needed anything when he returned from the weekly district meeting. She had to get out of there quick, before Shane came and she wound up thrown over his brawny shoulder like a sack of potatoes, protesting all the way to the restaurant.

  ****

  Sunlight renewed Shane like a battery charger. He leaned back against the church steps and tilted his face skyward. Lilac bushes bloomed in the flower beds below. Their sweet scent danced on the warm spring air.

  Sleep had eluded him the night before. He’d phoned Mrs. Brabson next door to keep an eye on Susie while he’d taken a drive to check on Carly and her grandmother. To his dismay, the impromptu visit wasn’t very well received. He found the two embroiled in an argument over homework that led to Carly storming out and Mrs. D’atello bursting into tears at their kitchen table. It was as if Carly were preparing herself for the worst by distancing herself from the only family who really cared for her. She was so angry with life, and Shane was at a loss to help her. He needed time to figure things out. But with the cancer threatening to overrun Mrs. D’atello’s body without quick and powerful treatment, he feared he didn’t have much without a miracle. Quietly, he bowed his head and lifted a silent prayer for the hurting girl and her grandmother. He knew God could guide a path through the quagmire and make all things right. He just needed to be patient...and to listen.

  Shane’s prayer was interrupted by the clatter of church doors as Jade charged through. Her feet got tangled up in him. She shrieked and stumbled, jarring his cell phone from his hands just as he dialed a call. Shane managed to grab her before she tumbled headfirst down the stairs.

  “What are you doing out here?” Jade sat down hard beside him. Her chest heaved.

  “You first. Where are you headed in such a hurry? You nearly demolished my phone.” He reached for it and brushed specks of dirt from the screen. Taking a quick listen, he jabbed the end button before sliding it into the back pocket of his jeans.

  “I-I...”

  He held up a hand. “Wait. Let me guess.” He rubbed stubble on his chin and feigned deep thought. “You’re secretly a spy and you just got recalled for an undercover sting operation with the drug cartel.”

  Jade’s eyes were daggers, daring him to continue. He obliged.

  “No, huh? Well, let’s see...you got called to star on American Idol and they’re sending a limo for you?”

  She smirked.

  “Oh, well...Strike two, right?” He reached into the back pocket that didn’t hold his phone and found a stick of gum. Eyeing her, he unwrapped the piece and offered her half. When she declined, he popped it into his mouth. Spearmint filled the air as he chewed lazily. “Hmm, let’s see.” He sat up suddenly and snapped his fingers, startling her. “I’ve got it. You’re with the Witness Protection Program and it’s time to relocate?”

  Slowly, Jade shook her head.

  “Well, then, it can only be one thing. It’s obvious.” He eased back onto his elbows and let the sun warm his face.

  She waited, her eyes lasers boring into him. He simply grinned and continued to sun himself.

  Finally, exasperated by his silence, she blurted, “What? Just say it.” She adjusted the low-heeled pumps that had been jarred from her feet. He’d noticed her toes were painted a feisty shade of pink. “Tell me.”

  “You don’t want to know.” He continued to bait her. It was amusing to watch her eyes glint like green jewels. “You can’t take it.”

  “Yeah, right.” She smacked his shoulder playfully. “I’m tougher than I look.”

  “OK, then, here’s the deal.” He sat up to look her straight in the eye. “You’re afraid that I might temporarily lose my mind and try to kiss you again, right? Or worse, that you’ll kiss me and like it.”

  “Yes. I mean, no!” A flush spread from the base of her neck to her wide, startled eyes.

  “What is it, Jade?” He studied her, serious now. His insides did a slow burn as he recalled the feeling of her lips on his while he caressed tangled waves of strawberry-scented hair. “Yes or no?”

  She leapt to her feet and put distance between them. “I-I can’t have lunch with you, Shane.”

  “Why not? We’re not seventeen anymore, you know. We’re both adults.”

  “Exactly. I have responsibilities now.”

  “And I don’t?” Shane’s voice had a bite to it as he ran a hand through disheveled hair. “What do you want from me, Jade? I’m sorry for what I did that day at the park. I’m not that self-centered kid anymore. I’m—”

  Jade’s cell phone rang. She turned from him and fumbled through her purse, checked the caller ID and quickly flipped the phone open.

  “Hello? Yes, this is Jade McAllister.” Her eyes widened. “Oh, no. Is she OK? Yes, I’m on my way.” She dropped the phone back into her purse. The color drained from her face and she swayed on unsteady feet as she tried to stand. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

  “Where? What is it?”

  “Th-that was the dispatcher from Lifeline. Mama fell. EMS is on the way for her. They’re taking her to County General.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I have to get to the hospital.”

  Shane hopped up and drew keys from his pocket. They jangled and glinted in the sunlight. “I’ll drive you.”

  “No. I can manage.” She rushed down the stairs.

  He ran after her and reached for her hand. “I know you can manage, Jade. But I want to help. You don’t have to go alone.” He led her to his Jeep and opened the passenger door.

  “The doctor said this might happen.” Her words tumbled out in a rush. “They warned her not to overdo. But she’s just so hardheaded, so stubborn.” Jade wiped away a tear and drew a deep breath. “Her heart can’t take the stress. It’s too weakened from the heart attack.”

  “It’s going to be OK.” He jostled the Jeep into drive. “We’ll be there in a few minutes.” His lips moved in silent prayer as he carefully pushed the speed limit, flying over winding roads.

  ****

  “Mama, you gave us an awful scare.” Jade leaned over the hospital bed to stroke her mother’s thinning gray hair. Pungent alcohol mixed with stale air, making her stomach churn. “You sure you feel OK now?”

  “I’m fine, honey. I just got a little overheated in the sun. I should have taken a break, got a drink of water during the weeding.”

  “Mama, I told you I would take care of the garden for you. You shouldn’t be bending and straining so much.”

  She shooed Jade’s warning away with a wave of her hand. “Where’s that fine young man who brought you here to me?”

  “Shane? He’s gone to call his neighbor. She’s keeping Susie while he’s here with us.”

  “Susie? Is he married, dear?”

  She crossed
her arms. “Don’t try to change the subject, Mama. The doctor said you need to rest more.”

  “Don’t be silly, Jade. You can’t do it all. You’re working full time, now. Besides, I’m not an invalid. I enjoy being outdoors.”

  “You can sit on the porch and read, Mama. You don’t have to be in the garden or mowing the lawn to enjoy the sunshine.”

  Shane came back into the room carrying two foam cups of steaming coffee. He handed one to her as he chimed in, “I can help you get things done around the house, Mrs. McAllister. What do you need?”

  “That’s not necessary,” Jade interjected. “I’m perfectly capable of mowing and taking care of the garden and doing whatever else needs attention.”

  He nodded, his eyes full of concern. She’d broken down in the emergency room while they waited for word on her mom, sobbing as if her heart was shattering. Shane had tried to wrap his arms around her and comfort with soft, calm words. But she’d bristled at his touch.

  She was weak with worry now, and she mustn’t let her defenses down, even for a moment. No matter that her heart was pleading for the slightest relief from the bondage of past hurts and painful memories. She had to be strong against her desire to allow Shane to get close, whatever the cost.

  Now he leaned against the wall and sipped his coffee. “Of course you’re capable. But there are only so many hours in the day, and there’s only one of you. Besides, you don’t want your mom to feel like she’s got to get outside if weeds begin to overrun her garden again.”

  Her breath caught. He was right. She couldn’t risk having her mom take up the trowel and hoe again, let alone the push-mower.

  “I guess it wouldn’t hurt anything to have you help a little.” Her voice was strained.

  “It’s settled, then.” Satisfied, he grinned, flashing even, white teeth. “I’ll be over to mow Friday after work.”

  “That’s so kind of you, dear.” Mrs. McAllister grinned despite the mottled oxygen tubing wrapped around her head. An angry red scrape ran the length of her forehead. She patted Jade’s hand. “Now, let’s see if we can get that doctor to release me. It’s almost time for my Bible study.”

  “Mama, you can’t go to church now. Your hip is badly bruised. You’re lucky it’s not broken. You need to go home and rest.”

  “I’ll rest when I’m in the grave.”

  She blanched. “Don’t say that, Mama.” She was only beginning to truly know the woman her mother was. She needed more time with her, craved it. If something happened now...

  “Mrs. McAllister, I have to side with Jade on this one.” Shane moved to stand behind her. He placed a hand tentatively on her shoulder, and when she didn’t squirm away, he let it settle there. “We can probably persuade the doctor to release you, but only if you go straight home for the night to rest. You may feel better now, but your body still needs to recover from the strain of the heat.”

  Her mother’s eyes held his for a long moment before relenting. She sighed. “Well, I guess I can just read from my Bible study book a bit tonight. But I need to let Millie and the other ladies know I won’t be to the church, or they’ll worry.”

  “I’ll call Millie for you, Mama.”

  “Thank you. Now, about that doctor...”

  ****

  “You should go,” Jade sipped herbal tea on the front porch of Mama’s house while Shane nursed a Mountain Dew. “Susie will miss you.” The sun eased into vibrant hues of pink and purple.

  “She’s fine. Mrs. Brabson rented The Little Mermaid. I’m sure they’re cuddled up together on the couch, munching buttery popcorn and guzzling Sprite.” He thought about reaching for Jade’s hand, but settled for a weary smile. “It was good see Claire in the ER today. Boy, she’s a bundle of spit and vinegar. Must be fun to have your blood drawn by her.”

  “She’s been a good friend to me, and she’s a great nurse. She took good care of Mama.”

  “I know. And you, too.” While they’d waited for word from the doctor, she’d taken Jade for a walk down the hall. They’d talked in hushed voices, and the conversation seemed to calm her some.

  And later, while Jade was in the bathroom washing her tear-streaked face, Claire waited with him in the hallway. Her eyes were weary and her voice rang tight with worry as she spoke to him. “Keep an eye on her,” she’d admonished, poking a finger into his chest. “Take care of her, OK? She’s fragile right now. This has been a long road.”

  “You know I will.” He meant to shelter her...even if it killed him. And it just might, stubborn as she was. “How are you holding up? You look wiped out.” He’d gotten to know Claire through youth events at the church. Her niece, Audrey, attended there with her. The two were close, and sometimes Claire helped out when they needed an extra hand. And, of course, she’d been working the emergency room the night he’d come in, bleeding and broken from the mangled mess of an accident he’d caused the week Reid died. She’d broken the news about Bryce to him when he’d woken from surgery. She’d told him Bryce would never run again, and probably never walk again, either. She’d witnessed his walk through the fire, knew the change in him. “Do you need anything?”

  “Garrett’s on his way to drive me home. I’m tired, but I’ll be fine. Just focus on Jade, OK?”

  “You got it. Don’t worry. Your shift is over, so get some rest. I’ll take it from here.”

  She didn’t argue, and he knew she was exhausted. “Call me if anything changes, OK?”

  “Sure. Now, scoot.”

  His mind returned to the present. He took a swig of Mountain Dew as a squirrel chased a bluebird into the maple tree across the yard, then he noted the shadows beneath Jade’s faraway eyes. He knew she was thinking of her mother, resting inside the quiet house, and her ear was turned toward the window she’d propped open, ready in case her mom called for help. He touched her hand.

  “How are you, Jade? I mean, really.”

  “I...I’m OK now. Really.”

  “Ah, Jade.” He sighed and rubbed the five o’clock shadow on his chin. “This isn’t the house you grew up in, is it?” The white-frame house was small but well-kept. Her mom had obviously worked hard to give it an earthy touch. Thick-potted ivy and colorful wave petunias spilled from ceramic planters like a rainbow over the porch rails. The two oversized rocking chairs they sat in flanked a wicker table meant for dog-eared novels and tea glasses garnished with lemon wedges. The melodic hum of cicadas welcomed dusk.

  “No. I...I didn’t grow up in a house. It was a...trailer.” The word came with great difficulty for her, even now. He saw the pain in her eyes, the raw hurt. “And I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  He assumed there were too many memories, like darkness deep inside her. A thought suddenly dawned, and he leaned toward her as the words rushed out. “I remember. It was near the river, beside the railroad tracks. I drove by one afternoon. You were sitting on the front stoop, crying.”

  Jade shuddered. “I...I did that a lot, back then.”

  “Why?”

  She gave him an accusing look. “You wouldn’t understand, growing up the way you did, in a beautiful...mansion.”

  “A mansion?” He dropped her hand. “It wasn’t a mansion, Jade. It was a house. And besides, it wasn’t what you think.” His insides churned at the memory of gleaming hardwood and tile, of furniture he wasn’t allowed to sit on for fear he might soil it with dirty shoes or a grass-stained football uniform. He remembered his mother, always harping over this or that, and his father, coming in well after most other fathers had eaten their dinner and played catch with their sons, to his mother’s litany of complaints. Liquor flowed like water and arguments were a normal occurrence, laced with hearty helpings of aloofness. He’d learned early on to keep his mouth shut tight and to fit the mold his parents expected.

  “Really? And I suppose it wasn’t a cherry red Camaro that you drove into the school parking lot each morning to show off for all your football friends...and the girls.”

  So she ha
d known him back then better than he’d thought. Shane cringed, remembering how he’d taken out his resentment and frustration in those days, how wild and crudely he’d behaved as he ran the streets with the guys he’d called friends. He splayed his arms wide. “Guilty as charged.”

  “You drove by me with a carload of your football buddies once while I was walking to work, and the catcalls made me want to slip into the sewer drain.”

  “I’m sorry. I had no idea. I was just being goofy with some friends.” He’d been running from the truth that he’d never measure up—at least to his parents’ standards. Reid had long since given up, too. She was running wild herself, searching for something to fill the void he felt too, and what she found at a Celebrate Recovery service across town one cold January night had catapulted her into a transformation that he was nowhere near ready to submit to himself.

  “Yeah, right.” Jade gave him a seething look before turning away to cross her arms tight over her chest.

  “OK. I was being a jerk. I was a jerk a lot back then. But there’s more to the story. I wasn’t the privileged kid you thought, getting everything I wanted. I was reckless because I was empty inside, and I didn’t even know it. I know it now, and I’m sorry.”

  “Please, Shane. I really don’t want to rehash this. It’s getting late and we both have to work tomorrow. And I need to go inside and check on my mom.”

  “OK.” He brushed a wisp of hair back from her forehead. “Can you show me where you keep the mower so I’ll be ready to tame the lawn Friday?”

  Her eyes narrowed with uncertainty. “Are you sure you want to do this? Don’t you have a hot date or something?”

  “Yeah. I have a hot date with your mower. And if you don’t mind, I’ll bring Susie along. She’ll love your mom’s garden, and maybe I can even talk her into pulling a few weeds.”

  “I’d love to see Susie. She’s quite a precocious little girl...special, for sure.”