The Replacement Bridesmaid

by Laurie Ralston

  “May I escort you ladies back to your rooms?” he asked gallantly, bowing slightly and gesturing towards the door.

  “Why, yes, kind sir,” Tara said with a very bad Irish accent as she and Jill each took one of Coyle’s offered arms.

  They continued to speak in formal, yet silly voices, until they reached Tara’s room.

  “This is me,” she said. She slipped her room card out of her bra and swiped herself into the room.

  “Good God,” Coyle exclaimed. “What else do you have in there? He pretended to gape down her bodice and Tara smacked him on the arm.

  “Oh, you,” she said, then turned and hugged Jill. “See you in the morning,” and she was into her room and the door closed behind her. Seconds later, Jill and Coyle heard a loud thump, followed by Tara’s giggling.

  “Good thing we’re all staying here,” he said as the two of them walked further down the hall.

  When they reached her door, Jill pulled her room card out of the tiny purse she carried and tried getting the key card in the door lock slot. She fumbled around a little and before she knew it, Coyle had taken the card from her and opened the door.

  “Thanks,” she smiled at him. He’d just been laughing, but now he looked as serious as a doctor delivering bad news. He didn’t smile back, just looked down at her. His jaw muscle was flexing under his skin, as if he were having some kind of internal struggle. Jill tilted her head at him.

  “What is the deal with you?” she asked, the liberal amount of wine she’d imbibed making her braver than usual.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, stone-faced.

  “You’re running hot and cold. One minute you’re friendly and funny and the next you’re serious and act like you can’t stand me. Which is it?”

  He leaned against the doorjamb, not speaking, considering her for a time. Finally he spoke.

  “You’re married.”

  “Yes. I am,” she said slowly, not wanting to.

  “I have feelings for you.”

  Jill blinked a few times. “Feelings?”

  “Yes, feelings. Strong feelings. Feelings I shouldn’t be having for a married woman. Feelings I shouldn’t be having for a woman I just met.”

  “Oh.” Jill didn’t know what to say. She looked down at her hand adorned with her wedding ring. Her eyes filled up. She liked this man. A lot. She always said she’d never break the vows she made with Scott, but in reality, he’d broken them long before by treating her badly. She knew at that moment, knew, that she didn’t love Scott anymore. She looked back up at Coyle, her eyes shiny with tears.

  “I think I have feelings for you, too,” she finally said.

  They stood there for a few seconds, looking into each other’s eyes. Jill felt like she’d known this man forever, belonged with him.

  Coyle stepped forward, placing his hands on either side of her face. Leaning down, he gently kissed her. She dissolved into him, as her head tilted back. His hands slid down her neck, to her shoulders and then his arms were crushing her to him. Her hands reached up to his face, her hands caressing him as he kissed her passionately standing in the doorway of her room.

  Coyle backed her up into her room and shut the door behind him. Jill gazed up into his eyes. She knew what was about to happen and there was no way she was about to stop it.

  They stood there for several more minutes, kissing each other, at first gently and then more urgently.

  “My god, Jill,” he murmured against her lips, then backed off and took her by the hand, leading her to the big soft bed. He turned her towards him and slipped off the light jacket she’d put on at the reception.

  “You look like an angel in that dress,” he said, stepping back to look at her.

  She blushed, looking down at herself. “Thank you.”

  He stepped back towards her reaching around and slowly, oh-so-slowly, began to unzip the zipper of her dress. She couldn’t take it anymore. She pressed her body up to his and reached up to pull his head down to hers. His hands pushed the dress off her shoulders and it fell to her feet in a soft pile. She helped him unbutton his white dress shirt and suit pants. They stood there kissing, each only in their underwear, until he gently pushed her back onto the bed.

  “Jill, Jill,” he said. “I can’t believe I found you.”

  She smiled at him. “I found you.”

  “Whatever…” he said, as he finished undressing her and quickly took off his own clothes. Like teenagers, they laughed quietly as they slipped under the big feather comforter.

  Coyle touched Jill in ways she had never been touched. His skin was warm and dry and smelled like soap and that wonderful aroma of warmth that she had noticed the day she’d met him. He skillfully worked her body until she burst from within, crying out his name. Then he gently made love to her, until he, too, climaxed. They lay together after that, quietly talking, until in mid-sentence, Jill slipped off into sleep. Coyle gathered her up in his arms and then he slept, too.

  When Jill opened her eyes the next morning, Coyle was standing at the window in his boxers. She sat up, propping herself up on the feather pillows

  “Good morning,” she said, a slight smile on her face.

  Coyle turned and smiled back at her, then turned back to the window.

  “This is a truly beautiful view,” he said. Looking back at her, he added, “and so is this one.”

  He came back to the bed and curled up next to her, putting his head on her chest.

  “What are we going to do?” she asked.

  Coyle sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I’ll guess I just have to be happy with the little time we’ve had.”

  Jill nodded.

  It was Sunday and she was due to fly back the next day. She didn’t have to drive all the way back to Dublin; instead her flight was leaving out of Shannon, which wasn’t all that far from Killarney.

  Coyle sat up now, leaning against the pillows with Jill.

  “I have to say, I have to... tell you,” he stammered a little. “You are special. I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t do this,” he waved his hand around the room and over the bed. “I wanted you to know. This is because of the way you make me feel, the way you can get me to smile, the sweetness of your voice when you sing… that’s why I’m here.”

  Again, Jill nodded. Coyle waited now to see if she would speak. Finally, after about a minute, she did.

  “I feel the same way.” Now she sighed. “I’m torn up, here. I don’t regret last night, don’t regret what we did, but I am married. I need to deal with that.”

  Coyle looked slightly crestfallen. Jill quickly picked up one of his hands.

  “I don’t need to think about this, Coyle. I’m pretty sure I know how I feel about what happened here. I just mean I need to figure out what I need to do about my marriage. I think it may be over.”

  Jill stared at the ceiling for a moment, contemplating the future. She really had no idea what life held in store for her now. Turning her head slightly, she saw that Coyle was watching her intently. A man, she thought, who really cares about me. She now knew that was possible and she felt extraordinarily lucky to have had this bizarre turn of events result in meeting Coyle. She moved over to kiss him, a sweet simple kiss that quickly turned into a passionate one and they rolled back into the softness of the bed for another period of bliss.

  The wedding guests and family were to meet one more time for a breakfast. It was later in the morning and they sat outside again, warming in the morning sun. Coyle had gone back to his room soon after he and Jill had made love for the second time, so by the time Tara came by to pick Jill up for breakfast, he was long gone. Jill considered telling Tara about what had happened with Coyle, but decided against it. After all, she’d be going home the next day; no sense in whipping the whole family into a frenzy over it.

  When the women arrived at the breakfast, Coyle was already there, sitting with his parents and harassing a sibling. Jill flashed him a quick and secretive smile, which he returned, b
ut neither made any other move towards each other.

  Sitting several tables away, Jill snuck looks at Coyle every so often. He looked so happy, not sullen or quiet like he had been. He caught her looking at him and once winked in reply. Tara didn’t seem to notice this interaction; she was hung over and asking for a screwdriver to apply some hair of the dog. The last thing Jill wanted to do is to try and explain what happened between her and Coyle in front of everyone.

  Breakfast done, Tara decided to return to her room for a nap. Jill, finding she had some free time, decided to borrow one of the bikes she and Coyle had ridden the day before, riding off to explore some more of the grounds. There weren’t any more wedding activities planned and she wasn’t leaving until the next day for Shannon to fly home, so the day spread out before her, hers to use as she pleased. She would have liked to have spent it with Coyle, but she didn’t want to do anything obvious.

  Jill entertained the thought of riding around Muckross Lake, but as she rode along the banks of the lake, she could see it was huge. It would take her hours to get around it. Instead, she decided to follow a series of signs that led her up a hill to the Torc Waterfalls. She had to park the bike and walk for a while, but it was worth the trip. The weather was so fine, she continued up a narrow scenic path to the top of the waterfall and was rewarded with an incredible view of Torc Mountain and the Killarney lakes.

  Jill perched on a large rock overlooking the waterfall. The sun felt comforting on her skin and she closed her eyes, raising her face to its warmth. She had a lot to think about and although she’d been successful in keeping the thoughts at bay for a while, now, at rest, they refused to let her be anymore.

  She was going home tomorrow. She was going to have to leave all this behind. On one hand, she missed her kids. She missed talking to Ryan and even listening to Martie’s rants about work or her love life. She missed Mary, although being with Tara salved some of that ache. Did she miss her husband?

  She really had to think about that question. Scott hadn’t provided anything valuable to her life in the past five or so years, other than material things. They hadn’t gone on vacation, rarely went out on a “date” that wasn’t a benefit ball or dinner with the firm partners and their wives. On her birthdays, it was Ryan who usually took her to celebrate, sometimes with Martie, but not always. Her memories of Scott fell into two categories: the early years with him when he was sweet and loving and she had been happy, and the recent years when he was cruel and distant, and she wasn’t happy. Was there any chance that we could get those early years back? That was the question.

  Then there was Coyle. And James, too, if she really thought about it. She’d met two men who found her attractive, smart, and funny, while her own husband thought her a dolt. For the first time in years, Jill felt attractive, smart, and funny. For the first time in many years, she’d been herself and not someone who was trying to fit her husband’s idea of who she was. Part of it was because of the attention these other two men had paid her, but part of it was simply the act of being free to do as she pleased, to go on a bike ride without telling anyone, but also without sneaking around to do it.

  For the first time in a very long time, Jill allowed herself to consider what she wanted, what she wanted to do. Her kids were grown; her husband didn’t seem to like her, let alone need her. She didn’t have a job in Phoenix. She had a little money stashed away, a very small inheritance from her father’s life insurance when he died that she had invested and it had grown considerably over the past few years. She could just live off that for a while if she needed to, and she could get a job. She didn’t have a lot of experience at anything, really, other than organizing, but she did have a college degree and she was smart.

  So, what do I want?

  Looking over the green lushness topped by a brilliant blue sky, she thought, I could use more of this. Ireland was a small island, but she’d only seen a fraction of it. She hadn’t gone to Derry or Dingle, she hadn’t seen the crystal factory in Waterford. But stay? How long? Or, more to the point, how? She couldn’t just not go home. She had a family, she had obligations, right?

  Her stomach growled loudly, reminding her that it was probably getting to be lunchtime. She’d left her watch in her room, another sign of change for her. Never in Phoenix was she without a watch; when the kids were little, she had a schedule which could rival that of the President of the United States. She felt naked without her watch at home, but here, it didn’t seem to matter as much. She hadn’t reset the watch for local time anyway, so it was just a reminder of home that she didn’t really want right now.

  Jill walked back down the path and retrieved the bike. Once back at the hotel, she returned the bike and went looking for Tara. Tara wasn’t in her room and Jill finally found her sitting in the lobby of the hotel reading a book.

  “There you are,” Tara sat up when she saw Jill. “Where’d you go?”

  “I went on a bike ride,” Jill sat down next to her.

  “By yourself?”

  “Yep!”

  Tara nodded. “I see.” She paused for a moment. “Did Coyle find you?”

  Jill tried not to look startled. “Coyle was looking for me?”

  “Yeah, he’s having a shindig tonight, kind of a last hurrah, before we leave tomorrow. He wanted to make sure you knew.”

  “Oh, that was nice of him,” Jill looked passively at Tara, “Are you going?”

  “Of course,” Tara looked incredulous that Jill would even asked such a thing. “Yes, I’m going. So are you. Come on!” She stood up and pulled Jill to her feat. “We got some partying to do.”

  Chapter 16

  The two women spent the rest of the afternoon packing most of their things up, since they had to head to Shannon in the morning to catch their flights back. Tara was chipper, ready to go home, missing her boyfriend and dogs. Jill, on the other hand, was feeling wistful and melancholic as she packed away her things. She wasn’t sure what to do about the bridesmaid’s dress that was really Mary’s. It was lovely and she really wished she could keep it or at least deliver it to Mary, but she didn’t have the room for it and really, it deserved a nice garment bag. There just wasn’t time for that. She’d have to figure out what to do with it later.

  Later, Tara came by to get Jill and they loaded into the little rental car. Tara drove them down the narrow little roads until they popped out onto one of the main streets of Killarney. The party was in the pub of a local hotel, the Killarney Royal, or “the Royal” as the locals called it. It was a lovely place, very clean and possessing an odd mix of new and old. Everything was a warm wood and brass or a checkered pattern of black and pale yellow. Coyle’s friends and family began to populate the pub area and ordered plenty of food and drink.

  Jill sat in a high booth in the corner of the pub with Tara. They were laughing and talking about all kinds of things. She kept her eyes on Coyle, discreetly tracking him as he moved around the room.

  After a while, however, Jill had become engrossed in a story that another family member who was sitting with them was telling, when Coyle showed up and squeezed onto the booth seat next to her. It was apparent that no one thought anything of it; it’s just what you do when you hang out at the Royal. But Jill was certainly thinking about it. The feel of his muscular leg against hers was distracting her, sending a tingling sensation up her spine, causing her to forget what they had been talking about. He kept leaning across her to joke around with those at the table, pressing his shoulders into her. It was driving her crazy! Then just as suddenly as he had shown up, he was gone across the room to greet another friend who had just arrived.

  They stayed at the Royal for about two hours, eating dinner and drinking several pints of beer. At that point, Jill noticed a lot of the party-goers were leaving.

  “Is it over already? Why is everyone leaving?” she turned to ask Tara.

  “Oh, no, it’s not over. We’re going on to the next pub.”

  “The next pub?”

 
“Yeah, it’s what they call a pub crawl. You go from pub to pub,” Tara grinned at Jill.

  They streamed out of the Royal and a few blocks later, filed into O’Connors Pub. Tara and Jill sidled up to the bar and Tara waved down the bartender.

  “Aren’t we a little old to go bar hopping?” Jill asked.

  “Speak for yourself,” Tara said, grinning at Jill as her head bobbed to the loud music pumping out of the clusters of speakers stacked around the pub. “Besides, when in Rome... Well, look around.”

  Jill looked at the other inhabitants of the bar. They were young and loud. And there was a table of gray-haired old men in the corner. And a couple about her own age shimmying against each other as they danced.

  Jill laughed and shrugged. “Okay, then.” She picked up her glass of ale, clinked it against Tara’s and took a long drink. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something like this. It might have been back in college, back when she and Scott actually went out from time to time. The thought of Scott brought her a small pang of regret, but not about being where she was, doing what she was doing. Rather, she regretted losing the old Scott. But, that was in the past. She brushed those memories aside, determined to make new ones.

  Over the next few hours, the group of friends and family progressed from one pub to the next, usually only staying for one or two pints of beer and a rousing round of singing if there were musicians playing. Jill had a great time and met a lot of Coyle’s friends as they walked the streets of Killarney. At every pub, she found herself sitting with a different combination of people and at every pub, Coyle spent some time with her, nonchalantly at first, then getting friendlier with her as the night wore on. Never, however, did he make it obvious that there was something going on between them. Jill was grateful for that. Explaining to Mary and Tara about her one-night-stand with their favorite cousin wasn’t something she wanted to do.

  After visiting several pubs, they ended up back at the Royal, and reoccupied they booth they’d been at earlier. Most of the partyers had peeled off, so now it was a smaller group who gathered around.