Leap of Faith (Iris Boys Book 3)

by Lucy Smoke

  He remained silent this time and I growled in frustration. I reached up and fisted the front of his shirt in my hands. "Grayson," I whisper-hissed. "Give me something, damn it." After a beat of near deafening silence, just when I thought to hell with it—and him—and was about to give up, he answered.

  "It was me," he said softly. "And...I didn't want to do what I did, but I had to."

  "What did you do?" Even though I couldn't see his facial expression, I could feel his eyes burning on my face. I wasn’t even sure if he was going to answer me again, so I tried something new. "Why do you hate Iris?" I asked.

  Grayson sighed. "It's not that I hate Iris," he finally said. "I don't trust it. How did you feel when they first recruited you? You were suspicious, weren't you?"

  "So, that's what you are? Suspicious?"

  "Marv has every right to hate me," Grayson replied. "But when he was cut out, so was Iris and yeah, I'm suspicious. I'm curious too. After...the fallout, I kept researching—thinking I could just keep an eye on Marv, but Iris is nearly impossible to learn about unless you're on the inside. I don't like that. They rarely let anyone in. Doesn't that seem odd to you?"

  I shrugged against his chest. "I don't know, it seems pretty safe to me. How else do they know who to trust and who not to trust? Anyone who stays can be trusted."

  Silence reigned for several long moments. I huffed, turning towards the door—sure I had lost him. As soon as my hand closed over the knob, though, he spoke. "Do you think I can't be trusted?"

  My hand turned the knob and the door creaked open. The room was dark, but I could see much better with the moonlight spilling through the window. I turned to face him. "I wouldn't have come here," I said, "if I didn't trust you to keep me safe."

  Whether it was the words or maybe the electric feeling under our skin from nearly being caught, it lit something within Grayson. And if I was honest...within me as well. Grayson took one step forward, but I never moved away. He took that as his cue and lowered his head. He paused, just a hair's breadth away from my lips, his hand hovering over my cheek. He wanted to touch me. I could feel it and I didn't want to wait anymore. I wanted to close the distance between our mouths, but my body refused to move. I couldn't do that. I couldn't start something else. Knix, Bellamy, Marv, and Texas were all waiting for me to choose anyway and I couldn't. I couldn't choose. This would just be something more, and I—

  Grayson moved forward, his mouth pressing into mine and cutting off my internal argument. My eyes widened before slowly—almost effortlessly—sliding closed. Grayson's hand landed on my cheek, tilting my chin up, my head back as he bit my bottom lip and sucked on it. My heart thudded unnaturally fast in my chest. A chill rushed through my body as I moaned into his mouth.

  The feel of him against me burned. His mouth moved against mine, hot and overwhelming and strong. The strength of his kiss ravaged me, left me empty and hollow and filled to the brim with his emotions. Grayson was volatile and such a...fucking asshole, I thought as he pulled away from me, dark eyes looking down at me when my own opened and met his gaze. My lips were wet from his mouth and I gulped at the darkness in his gaze.

  The room was quiet save for our heavy breathing. It was as though time was standing still, the universe waiting for us, trying to figure out what we would do next. I couldn't have said. There was no indication, no thought on my part, but when Grayson reached for me again, I went. I couldn't not move into his arms. I couldn't let him be alone in this moment.

  Grayson's hands went to my thighs, picking me up and cradling me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he took my mouth again, burning against my lips. Our tongues slid together, the same as our bodies did. We were like two ships in the night, crashing against each other and wrecking all of the safety mechanisms that kept us from sinking to the bottom of the sea. I would go, I decided. I would go to the bottom of the sea with him. I had the feeling no one else had ever offered him that kind of friendship. But this wasn't friendship. This was the same thing it was with Knix, with Bellamy, with Marv, with Texas. This was an electric storm, through and through, and we would have to weather it together.

  My back pressed into something hard and Grayson's body moved between my thighs like one, giant muscle. He was hard everywhere. Everywhere. I gasped as he pressed up against me. I couldn't let this happen. We hadn't talked. We hadn't done anything but piss each other off. Did he really want this? Or was this spur of the moment? I couldn't do spur of the moment. I needed to know.

  I pulled away, panting. "Grayson..."

  He kissed me hard, silencing my words. I had to shake him away again. "Stop, wait." God, why was it so hard to keep him from kissing me again? But this time, he paused, his eyes meeting mine.

  "You don't want it?" he asked, serious.

  I gulped again, swallowing against a blocked throat. "I-I," I stuttered. Between my legs, under the fabric of my pants, I could feel something warm and wet. I shuddered in his arms.

  "Babydoll?" Grayson backed up. "Are you okay?"

  I nodded and coughed. "We can't do this here," I said, looking to the side, at the door. "Someone could catch us."

  I felt his gaze searing against my cheeks and I kept my eyes averted until he sighed and dropped my legs back to the floor.

  "You're right," he said. "Let's go."

  Grayson grabbed my hand and as if nothing had happened—as if he hadn't just had me against the wall—he pulled me towards the door and back out into the hallway. We headed back through the facility, hearing low voices towards the main areas, but never going near them. We left the same way we managed to get in the first time. It wasn't until we got back to the car, that I realized we had forgotten the case that I had been trying to loosen from the shelf in the first place. When I told Grayson, he shrugged and popped open the driver's side door.

  "It was a handgun case," he said.

  "What?" I was surprised. "How could you tell that just from looking at it?"

  "My father used to have one similar," he said, looking back at the building. "It's interesting that they would have one in a place filled with people they can't trust."

  We slid into the car and he cranked the engine. Surprisingly, for an older car, it purred to life with very little sound. I wondered if this was maybe one of the cars the guys had brought with them. Perhaps something Bellamy had worked on?

  I shook my head and focused back on the idea of the gun case. "It was in a locked office," I pointed out, buckling in and turning to look at Grayson from across the console. "It wasn't like just anyone could get to it."

  He backed out and turned onto the street but remained silent. I sighed and turned back to the window. I jumped when something buzzed under my butt and reached under my leg, digging my phone out. I gaped at the screen. Seventeen missed calls from all of the guys. Over fifty text messages and counting. I groaned, sliding to the missed calls. Knix was the last one to call, so he was the first one I called back. I put the phone to my ear and winced as he answered.

  "Where the hell are you? Are you okay?" he snapped. "And where is Grayson?"

  "I'm fine," I immediately replied. "We're both fine. I'm with Grayson." I took a peek in his direction, but he didn’t look at me.

  "Where?" Knix repeated.

  "We just left the Rehab center—"

  "We're on our way, meet us in the parking lot of Hamricks," Knix said, cutting me off.

  "O-Okay." I relayed the information to Grayson, who nodded briefly but otherwise stayed quiet. I narrowed my eyes at him. "We'll be there soon," I said to Knix.

  "Good." He didn't say anything more—not even a goodbye—before he hung up. Fuck. He was pissed. I'd never seen Knix pissed—not like this anyway.

  I groaned, resting my head back on the seat and staring out the window as empty streets passed by. Minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot of Hamricks and got out. Headlights sped around the corner and an SUV that I recognized came to a shrieking halt several feet away from the sedan. Nervously,
I glanced over to Grayson, but he was as stone-faced as ever. The driver's side and passenger side door of the SUV popped open and Bellamy and Knix all but jumped out. Bellamy slammed his door behind him, but Knix left his open. I cringed as they rushed over to meet us. Instead of leaping right into a dressing down—Knix lifted me off my feet and held me to his chest. I blinked and looked down, dangling my legs around his knees.

  "Hey..." I started, hesitantly wrapping my arms around him as best I could.

  "We were so fucking worried about you, Little Bit," he said in a rush of breath that blew several strands of my hair away from my face.

  I sighed into his chest, laying my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

  After a moment, Knix finally put me down, passing me to Bellamy, who swept me into his arms. "What were you thinking, Sweetheart?" he chastised.

  "I couldn't let him go alone," I said, hugging him back.

  Bellamy shook his head against me, his hair brushing against my hot cheeks. I ran my fingers through the dark waves and lifted them to my face as I held him. He smelled like soap and cinnamon—just like Bellamy. I sighed and snuggled closer. Now that all the adrenaline had passed through me, my body was catching up with the time and I was exhausted.

  "—thinking!" I looked up as Knix's voice rose above the quiet whisperings between Bellamy and me.

  Grayson stood quietly to the side as Knix towered over him, his chest heaving, and his cheeks flushed with anger. I had never seen him so worked up. Knix actually looked like he might take a swing at Grayson if he said the wrong thing. And Grayson must have realized it because he wasn't replying in his usual manner. He wasn't being defiant or rude or condescending or a smartass or anything. That...was actually kind of worrying me.

  Bellamy pulled me away, towards the passenger side of the SUV and I looked around as he did. "Where are the others?" I asked. Texas and Marv had called and texted as well, but I hadn't let myself check those yet.

  "Marv went to your dorm," Bellamy answered. "We were hoping to catch you before you left. Texas is back with Josh."

  I bit my lip. "I'm sorry I worried you guys."

  "You should be," Bellamy said sharply. I winced at his tone and he softened with a slow breath. "With everything going on, Sweetheart, we just didn't want anything to happen to you."

  I nodded. "I know, but I knew he'd go with or without me and I didn't want him to go alone. He needed back up. He's part of the team."

  Bellamy's eyes narrowed as he looked back over his shoulder towards Grayson before his gaze found mine again. "Harlow," he started, "Grayson isn't Iris."

  "But he is this time," I argued. "At least for now—for this mission. And we don't let teammates go without backup."

  I shook my head hard, glaring up at him. I didn't care that his dark coffee eyes were beautiful, and the worry was still etched into his features. Yes, it made me feel bad that I had worried them. But I had sent that text to warn them. Because if we were going to be a team then I needed to follow their example. I needed to be as honest with them as they were with each other and they needed to be honest with me too. Before I could open my mouth and unleash all of my fury and self-righteousness, however, Knix appeared at my side, startling me.

  "Bell, go with Caruso," he ordered, his eyes dark. "Make sure he gets back to the house."

  Just before Bellamy left, Knix grabbed his arm. "And no fighting. I don't care what he's done. I don't care if you're pissed—I know you have every right to be, but he doesn't get the Iris way. Remember that. He never got a chance. They're okay. Focus on that, and just let the rest settle for tonight. I'm sure they're both tired."

  As ready as I was for a verbal assault, I deflated at Knix's words. I watched as Bellamy nodded once, then stalked over to the sedan where Grayson was already waiting in the passenger seat. I was shocked that he had even followed Knix’s orders. Not Bellamy, but Grayson. He hadn’t yelled or argued, but he’d taken Knix’s chastising quietly and gracefully, which was very unlike him. Was he okay?

  “Harlow?” Knix disrupted my thoughts, and I looked up as he opened the passenger side door to the SUV. “Let’s get out of here.”

  I grimaced but nodded, and then proceeded to climb and lift myself into the high seat. Knix closed my door behind me as we turned and watched Bellamy and Grayson pull out of the parking lot. I wondered if Bellamy would say anything as they made their way back. Or if Grayson would.

  The moment Knix and I were alone he turned and leaned over the console. I jumped out of shock as he pressed his lips to mine. His big hand closed over my shoulder and he squeezed, pulling me closer. I moved into him without even realizing what I was doing. How could these guys make me lose my mind just by simply kissing me? Maybe it was my lack of experience with guys before knowing them. But I sure was making up for that now.

  Knix's kiss swept me away. It was rougher than the first kiss we had shared, almost desperate. My heartbeat thudded against the inside of my ribcage. I closed my eyes and sank into the feel of his soft lips pressing mine open. He pulled back and tilted his head, his hand moving around to the back of my neck. As if I would back away. As if I would want him to stop. I didn't. I fell into the kiss and let him move against me. I found myself gravitating towards him like a small planet circling the sun. He was pulling me closer, yanking me deep into the kiss.

  My hands closed around the collar of his shirt, and I gripped the fabric tight, dragging myself closer. I was halfway over the console, but so was he. The interior of the SUV was hot, our breaths combining as our mouths opened and we dove into each other. I gasped when Knix's hand slid back down to my arm and then even further. His fingers searched for the seatbelt and when he realized I had yet to do it, he gripped my hip and then half dragged, half pulled me over into his lap. Something hard pressed against my thigh. My head was spinning, my mind dizzy. I pulled back, but Knix's mouth followed, seeking me out.

  "Harlow," Knix's rough whisper against my lips made me shudder in his arms. I finally managed to tug myself away from his mouth. As I sucked in air, panting, Knix's lips trailed against my jawline and then to the column of my throat. He left wet, open-mouthed kisses against my skin and when he got to the sensitive place where shoulder met neck, he sucked hard and I arched up into his touch. Sharp electric sparks drove themselves into my veins. My breasts ached. The place between my legs cried out.

  I had to stop this. Didn’t I? No matter how badly my body didn’t want to—how badly I didn’t want to—I knew that I needed to pull away. It was Knix who finally managed to pull away and I had to force myself not to dive for his mouth again. My skin tingled where his big hand cupped my thigh and where his other arm pressed against my back as we both took heavy, uneven breaths.

  “That was—” he started before he had to stop and swallow. “I’m sorry,” he continued, “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand.”

  A heady feeling thrummed in my veins. I blinked and bit my bottom lip to keep from whimpering as he set me away from him—returning me to my seat. I clenched my thighs together, but nothing would assuage the tender feeling between them. My cheeks flamed red when Knix looked at me. I turned my face away, trying to slow the rise and fall of my chest.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I swallowed and licked my lips before finally turning to meet his gaze. "I'm fine," I rasped. Knix took a moment to look me over as if he didn't quite believe me, but he eventually just let it go, and rested back against his own seat.

  "I was really worried something had happened to you when you didn't answer us," he said.

  "We were already inside by the time you guys started calling."

  He nodded. "Yes, I gathered that, but still..." Knix grimaced and after a beat of silence, he sighed. "I know Grayson's heart is in the right place," he paused before adding, "most of the time."

  "I get where he's coming from," I said quietly. "It does feel like we're not doing enough. Every time I go to class or sleep in my dorm room, I feel like I'm
moving on without Erika and it makes me feel like a crap best friend." The admission hurt to say aloud, but it needed to be said. Even though my chest ached, at least I had gotten my thoughts out and now he knew. If anyone should know, it was Knix. Knix would know what to do. He was the leader, the fixer. I looked at him to gauge his reaction.

  "Grayson is too wild right now, Harlow," he said. "I understand that you worry about your friend, but we can't go in, guns blazing. That's not how we operate. I promise you this though, Little Bit." Knix reached over and lifted my chin with his thumb and forefinger. "You're a part of us and Erika is a part of you. We will find her and we will help her."

  My eyes burned with unshed tears. I hadn't known just how badly I had needed to hear him—to just hear someone—say that, but now that it was said, it eased something inside of me. His confidence gave me confidence. I sniffed hard and gave Knix a watery smile.

  "Thank you." He smiled back, leaning over to brush his firm lips softly across mine. It was unexpected and sweet, like ice cream on a hot summer night. I reached for his hand and twined my fingers with his as I kissed him back. When we parted, though, there was still something more I needed to say.

  "I want Grayson to be in Iris."

  Knix pulled back and reached for the ignition. The SUV rumbled to life and only when he put the car into gear and began rolling towards the parking lot exit, did he speak. "Why?" he asked.

  I reached for my seatbelt and buckled up. "Because I think he needs it," I replied.

  Knix raised both eyebrows as we turned onto the street, heading back towards the house. "You think he needs it?" he repeated curiously. "Did he say anything?"

  I shook my head. "Not exactly. He told me that whatever he did to make Marv hate him so much, he didn't want to do it, but he had to. You didn't see him Knix; you didn't see his face. I think he regrets being unable to join up with Iris. I mean, think about it. Why else would he want me to be so cautious?"

  Knix frowned and turned to face me as we rolled up to a red light. "You believe that he's jealous of your opportunity in Iris?"