Leap of Faith (Iris Boys Book 3)

by Lucy Smoke

  Asshole.

  I clenched my shaking hands into fists and watched as Mark handed Marv the map he had previously smoothed out. "I've done it a time or two before," the guy admitted, rubbing a tan hand through his hair as he looked over the map that Marv held out and open. I moved around them to see better. There were several red lines from places on land to different spots—some farther than others—that were circled.

  "These are technically international waters," Mark explained. "They'll take her out at one of these spots."

  Marv closed the map and then eyed Mark. "Thanks," he said. I looked between the two of them.

  "That's it?" I asked. That couldn't be it.

  Mark's eyes narrowed on Marv, proving me right. "Not quite."

  "How much?" Marv asked.

  Mark's eyes lowered, examining Marv up and down from his shoes to his shirt. But something about the way Mark's eyes lingered on Marv's shoulders and wrists put me off. It confused me. "Twenty-five," he said finally.

  "Twenty-five hundred?" Marv blinked, shocked. "Done."

  Mark's responding grin was ten times as confusing and even more off putting than the way he had analyzed Marv. As he shook his head, my stomach sank. "Not hundred. Twenty-five thousand."

  I nearly swallowed my own tongue. My gaze swung to Marv. What were we going to do? There was no way he— “Done.” I blinked, sure I must have heard Marv wrong. But no, I didn’t. Marv reached into his back pocket—slowly, with Mark’s gaze zeroed in as if he was waiting for either of us to make a wrong move—to withdraw his cell phone and held it up. “I can transfer it from my phone,” he said. “I just need the account number.”

  I continued to stare between the two of them as Mark relaxed marginally and a sly, wicked smile stole across his face. They exchanged the information as I remained rooted to the spot, wondering how I had gotten to this point. Twenty-five thousand dollars? I knew Marv was wealthy—I had seen his parents’ house, met his mother—but to have that much money available to transfer at a moment’s notice?

  I left the frat house, Marv holding onto my arm with one hand and clutching the map with the other, feeling like I was in over my head. Maybe I was.

  Chapter 17

  The red light on my phone flashed. The car swung out of the empty spot that Knix had parked in after being kicked out of the party earlier, and headlights crossed over the front windows. The phone flashed again. Lizzie had called. She had texted. So had Kelsey, who had apparently gotten my number from Lizzie as well.

  “You okay, Harlow?” Grayson looked over his shoulder at me from the front seat.

  I shook my head, still reeling over the events of the evening and shaking as adrenaline coursed through me. “It’s over now.”

  “How long were you alone in the room with him?” Knix asked me. “What did he do? What did he say?”

  I sighed, scooting closer to the door and leaning my head against the glass. “I already told you everything that happened,” I replied. “I’m fine now.”

  “You’re sure you’re okay?” Marv insisted, moving closer to me across the backseat.

  I lifted my head and turned towards him. “I promise,” I assured him, flipping my gaze from his to Grayson and Knix’s. “I’m okay.” Grayson’s mouth firmed into a straight line, but he nodded and then turned back to face the front.

  After several minutes of riding along in silence, I broke it. “So, what now?” I asked.

  Marv and Knix exchanged looks in the rearview mirror. “We head out in the morning,” Knix said finally.

  “We’re going after her?” I sat up straighter.

  “Yes.”

  I swallowed reflexively. This was good. Things were finally moving forward. Time to get Erika.

  We arrived back at the duplex the guys had rented. It felt different walking in through the doors, knowing that it may well be my last night there.

  "Are we sleeping in shifts again?" Texas asked as he came in right behind us.

  Knix shook his head, pulling his phone from his pocket. "No shifts," he said, sharply. "Everyone sleeps tonight. We're heading to the docks tomorrow."

  "The map?" I nodded towards the folded-up paper in Marv's hand. Marv nodded and handed it to me.

  I spread it out across the living room floor, pushing unwanted furniture away as I stared at the red lines that marked the pathways H. B. Holdings’ boats had, or might have, taken. I pointed to a mark on the paper. All of the lines converged on only three spots so far. "Which one are we going to?" I asked.

  Knix turned around, holding a finger to his lips as he held the phone to his ear with the other hand. "Yes, sir," he said. "Will do, sir."

  All of us waited as he finished the phone call and hung up. He turned to us and ocean blue eyes met mine. "I'll know in the morning. Alex wants an image. He's sending other teams out."

  Marv rolled to his feet. "Come on, Sunshine. Let's catch some sleep."

  Texas yawned and reached for the map. He held it up and looked at it briefly. "I'll scan it with what I have here and send it to Alex," he determined.

  Everyone else got up and dispersed. I could feel the waves of exhaustion pouring off them. They were pouring off me too. "Wait," Texas called quickly, just as I was about to follow Marv back to the bedrooms.

  Already halfway turned, I paused and looked back. Texas bounded up to me and smacked a kiss on my lips lightly. "Just needed a boost. Good night, Spider Princess."

  I blinked in pleasant surprise before rolling my eyes. "Pick one nickname," I muttered in reminder. "Just one."

  I hesitated when I felt eyes on me. Craning my neck as I left the room, I realized that Knix, Bellamy, and Grayson all stared openly at Texas, then I realized why. None of them had ever kissed me in front of the others the way Texas just had. To Texas, it hadn't been a big deal. A simple form of affection, but they knew it went deeper. I went deeper with all of them. I strained my ears as I kept walking, hoping to continue to act casual despite my knowledge. There were no sounds of yelling, no fists being thrown. Maybe casual was all it had been. It didn't feel like it though. Kissing any of them, no matter how chaste felt like an acknowledgment of my feelings—of our feelings.

  Before I could settle my thoughts or even dive deep into Texas’ intentions behind the kiss, Marv called from inside one of the bedrooms. “Which side of the bed do you want?” he asked.

  My mouth slid back open. I had seen Marv like this before—casual, half undressed, mussy-headed—but each time was like a swift kick in the stomach. He was, in a word, gorgeous. Lines along his abdomen defined the muscles there.

  They don’t seem to mind me sleeping with one of them, my brain chose that exact moment to point out.

  “Harlow?” Marv said again, and I jerked my gaze up from his abs and chest to his face, my own cheeks heating up. Caught red handed—now technically red-faced.

  “Huh? Um, I mean…what?” I blinked, and then looked away, slowly bringing my hand up as I yawned. Maybe he would think it was sleepiness keeping me from answering him right away rather than my heated perusal of his body. The flush in my cheeks spread down to my neck. Damn it.

  “I just wanted to know if you wanted a specific side,” Marv repeated.

  “Oh, uh, it doesn’t really matter,” I said, pausing in the doorway of the room. “But isn’t it kind of cramped here, in the house? I could go back to the dorm and sleep so there’s more room for all of you.”

  Marv shook his head, groaning. “No, God, no. Please come sleep with me tonight. I’ve gotten shit sleep since you’ve been staying in the dorms.”

  “I don’t have anything to sleep in,” I said.

  Putting his hands on his well-defined hips, Marv’s head lolled back and he stared at the ceiling. “I’ll give you something of mine to wear.” He straightened to look at me with pleading eyes. “Please stay? We have to leave early anyway.”

  “I don’t know, Lizzie’s been calling—she’s probably wondering where I am.” Why was I arguing with him? Okay, may
be I did know why. That bed combined with Marv’s half naked body and the bathroom incident with Grayson were all converging on me.

  Even though my shoulders drooped with tiredness, my legs were tight and the space between them even tighter. If I crawled into bed with Marv with him looking like that, I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t jump him. My body seemed to be throwing off some major signals, telling me that my time would come. But I couldn’t—more like shouldn’t—even consider having sex with one of them until we had worked everything else out.

  Marv looked at me, his gray eyes piercing in the dim lighting of the bedroom. "Do you not want to stay?" he asked quietly. "Is it because of...them? Us?"

  I bit my lip. Is that why I was arguing with him? Because of all of the complexities between us and the others. I turned my gaze down to the frayed carpet. How was I supposed to answer? I didn't have a true answer, one that I knew was undoubtedly right. I didn't want to lead him on—I didn't want to lead any of them on.

  Marv's bare feet padded softly across the floor as he approached me. His shadow crossed over my front and those same feet appeared in my line of vision. The dim lighting was reduced to mere glimmers in the background as I tilted my chin up again and met Marv's gaze. "Harlow." He searched my face—for what I didn't know. "Please stay with me tonight."

  My heart pounded against my chest, throbbing in all my pulse points. My eyes slid down to Marv's lips as I stepped further into the room and Marv reached up, taking the edge of the door and swinging it closed behind us. We were alone in the room together and somehow, it became a magical place when Marv took my hand and gently pulled me towards the queen-sized bed. It almost reminded me of the first night Marv had crawled through my bedroom window and laid beside me while my mother slept in a nearby room. That time felt so long ago, but in actuality, it was only mere months. We had become so much since then.

  "What..." I began, my mouth drying up as I tried to continue. I stopped and swallowed against my heavy tongue before licking my lips. "What—"

  Marv shook his head, stopping me. "I don't expect anything from you, Harlow." His voice dropped to a whisper. "And I don't want anything you aren't ready to give me."

  Tears burned at the back of my eyes. That was the issue. I thought I was ready. When Marv moved to pull his hand away, I held on. Steel clashed against steel as he paused, and his eyes slowly raised up. The swirl of silver and gray in his irises was hypnotic, entrancing. It was like a gravitational pull. I didn't realize that I had moved closer until I was pressed against him, our hands still connected and our chests less than an inch away from each other.

  "Sunshine?"

  "Would you look at me any differently," I began, "if I told you that I wanted you?"

  Fire erupted in those tornado eyes. "Of course not."

  "Would you look at me any differently," I said again, "if I told you that I wanted Knix, too. Or Bellamy. Or Texas...or Grayson?"

  I waited with silent breaths. This moment would tell me what I could do. His answer—however unfair—would likely be a precursor to the others. How far would they bend? How far could I push before I lost everything?

  He swallowed, and the fire died a little bit in his eyes. It made an ache bloom in my chest to see, but I needed to be upfront with them—all of them. No matter if it made me bold, it was only fair. Thanks to those seriously heavy-duty pain meds in the hospital, they now knew everything. My thoughts and what I wanted and what I didn't want.

  "I still..." Marv gritted his teeth and had to close his eyes as he continued, "I still want you. Even if I have to share you." He reopened his eyes and I was floored by the tidal wave of indecision and anguish in those murky depths. "But I don't know if I trust Grayson."

  My head fell forward, bumping his sternum. "I thought you guys were getting along better."

  "We're here for the mission," Marv said. His hands rose, hovered over my shoulders for a few seconds before eventually descending and resting there, thumbs smoothing over the space above my collarbone. I shivered when his skin touched mine and those thumbs dipped into the neckline of the dress.

  It was hard to pull myself away again, but it had to be done. "Please talk to him," I stated firmly. It needed to be over. Whatever their issues, it was clear that Grayson's tough exterior and sarcastic wit was merely a facade. He was vulnerable, and the longer he spent in close proximity to Marv, the more it came through and the less he portrayed his asshole behavior. I grabbed onto Marv's biceps when he dropped his arms and went to turn away. "No," I snapped, "you can't run from this. Forget about me or us or this—" I broke off, disgruntled. "—whatever we have going on in the group and think about him. Think about you," I urged. "Stop letting the past affect you. Talk to him. Find out what happened." I squeezed his arms, feeling the muscles there and shoving away all the girly butterflies they brought. "Marv. Please."

  "You really love him, don't you?" Marv's voice was raw, as if it had been scraped until his vocal chords were barely hanging on, strung together by the barest muscles and nerves.

  I shook my head—I couldn't be sure if I loved Grayson yet. I knew I loved Marv, though, and I knew he couldn't move past anything until he spoke to Grayson. They were both passing each other like sharks in the water; the same species circling and circling, waiting for blood to spill. But they were of the same skin. Maybe not biologically, but I could feel it. They were meant to be more than enemies, or whatever the world had made them into.

  "I want you to do it for you," I said, "but if you have to use me as an excuse, I don't care. I just want you to move forward."

  He eyed me skeptically. "That's what you want?" I nodded sharply, no hesitation. “Right now?” he asked.

  “If not now, then when?” I shot back.

  Marv continued to watch me, searching my face. This time I knew what he was looking for. A crack. A mark of doubt. He would not find it. I knew because I was determined. He finally relented. "Okay."

  I let my hands drop to my sides and stepped away. Just before he turned and headed for the door, however, Marv's hands gripped my arms and he leaned down, slamming his lips up against mine.

  I didn't question his need, I just let him have me. My mouth opened willingly, and I met him thrust for thrust. Reaching up to thread my fingers through the short strands of his dark brown hair, his hands fell from my arms to my hips. Fingers dug into the crevices of my hip bones and jerked me hard until I could feel the heat of Marv's flesh through the fabric. I wanted nothing more than to scale his body and let him reach behind me for the zipper. The dress was a prison that I wanted to be free of, but I had to limit myself to this. At least for now. I couldn't let myself be consumed. Not yet.

  I was the one forced to pull away. Both of us were breathing hard. I pushed against his chest. "Go," I said. When it looked like he would argue, his eyes glued to my lips—freshly bruised from that amazing kiss—I shook my head. "Go," I urged again. This time, he did—slipping around my body. The door behind me opened and closed, and only when I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floors of the hallway—louder than the soft bedroom floors—fading away did I let myself collapse on the bed. What were these men doing to me?

  Warm fingers along my spine roused me from the depths of my sleep. Rolling towards those fingers, I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with a familiar, sharp, impenetrable gaze. I lifted my head. He was wearing a shirt this time. "How'd it go?" I asked blearily.

  Marv simply continued to run his fingers down my spine, up the thin fabric of my tank top—the only comfortable girl clothes the guys had brought with them in case of an emergency—to where it turned into naked skin just under my shoulder blades. Heated shivers danced in the wake of his touch. "Marv?"

  "We talked," he finally said.

  "And?" I prompted once more, forcing my eyes to remain open when all I wanted to do was curl up and move closer to him.

  "Why do you want me?" he asked instead of answering.

  My eyes widened, and I sat up, pulling away from h
is magical fingers. In another moment, those fingers would have been magical in a different way, but I felt that this wasn't exactly the time for that. We were moving into insecure territory. I moved back against the old, rickety headboard of the bed and rested there as I watched him. The question was a good reminder that no matter how masculine or confident a boy—a man—may seem, they too had their own doubts about themselves. They saw flaws that I only saw as beautiful pieces of a person. I smiled at him and reached up, tracing a finger down the side of his face.

  "Do you remember when you guys first asked me to join Iris?" I prompted.

  He frowned but nodded.

  "And do you remember when I finally agreed?"

  "It was right after you saw your mom in the hospital," he said.

  "You're right."

  "What does that have to do with—"

  "She told me something then," I said, cutting him off, "that pushed me into agreeing to join Iris."

  "Were you pushed into it?" he asked. "Do you think we really would have forced you? Did you feel like you didn't have another choice?" Marv's gaze grew troubled until I shook my head.

  "No, maybe 'pushed' wasn't the right word," I admitted. "What I meant was, my mom has had a lot of trouble. Her disorder isn't fun for her, I know that. She can be up one day, down the next. And then cancer on top of that?" My voice grew hoarse and I had to stop. I cleared it, dropping my hand to the fabric of his shirt and twisting the hem with my fingers. As if sensing my unease—my pain—he let me without question.

  "It's not fair," I finally stated. "It's not fair that she never really got to do the things she wanted. She never got to have adventures or go on to explore and do something she really wanted to do. She got married and had Michael and then me and then Dad was gone and then so was Michael and..."

  Where others might have urged me to keep going or rushed me, Marv didn't. Marv didn't push. He just waited and that was the perfect thing for him to do.

  "She told me that I would regret it," I finally said. "She told me that I would regret not taking a chance. She gave me a choice and I chose you." I met his gaze and chuckled at the shine in his. "I chose you because you showed me something that I had been craving for a long time. I had Erika and I had my mom, but I didn't have you. You had built this beautiful, tight-knit family. Erika was leaving. My mom and I weren't close. I think she knew what I needed before I did. I don't just want you, Marv. I need you. You complete me. You and Knix and Texas and Bellamy. You fill a void I didn't know I had, and I don't want to crush it. If I can stay with you guys for just a second more without anything threatening our dynamic the way it is, then I'll give up everything else. I took a leap of faith and I haven’t regretted it since."