“Yeah?” She stopped scooting toward the door and glanced back at me.
I had to bite my bottom lip hard. “You look good.” Her eyebrows shot up at the compliment. “Hope the jump doesn’t wreck you.”
“Funny.”
The small group of people had been there a while. No one had climbed up to the ledge near the top of the rocky cliff nicknamed Eagle’s Nest yet. They said they were waiting a little while for the sun to heat the upper portion of water at least. But with how deep the rock quarry was mined, we all knew it was famous for being cold even on the hottest of summer days. There were about three other girls I didn’t know and two other guys. All were interested in hearing more about the bucket list from Mer and Celia.
I hung back by The Beast, barely listening to Jacob talk to me while watching Celia walk around with her camera, taking shots of the trees and the cliffs. It wasn’t long before she decided to shed her outer layers, revealing a yellow bikini as bright as her skin. She was a fucking sexy daisy. When I hissed audibly, unable to control my reaction to the dips in her waist, the curve of her ass, and the swell of her breasts, she spun toward me as if she knew.
“Damn, Tarsier, whoever’s in space right now is yelling to turn off the light,” I joked to cover my slip.
Jacob laughed beside me and others joined in, including Mer, who added, “You are in serious need of the sun, babe.”
Celia rolled her eyes at me then turned to Mer. “I can’t disagree with that. That’s why I’m here.”
“Oh, no, you aren’t.” I pushed away from the truck and walked over to the group, standing beside their row of towels and bodies. “You’re here for the bucket list, not to lie out or compete with the sun for the title of who blinds the most eyes. I’m ready to see you jump.”
Celia glared at me while the others began to chant. “Jump. Jump. Jump.”
“Me first,” Mer said, bouncing up onto her feet and stripping down to her suit.
Jacob was fast to follow her, kicking out of his shoes and wrenching off his shirt, leaving a trail of clothes behind him as he went.
There was chatter from the others about it being too cold yet and blah, blah, blah. I wasn’t listening. I was in a stare down with Celia, who finally caved and walked off toward the bottom edge of the cliff where the climb started. I followed her, kicking off my gear like Jacob had, stripping down to my boxer briefs since I didn’t have my board shorts.
“You couldn’t let me relax, could you?” Celia said as she navigated the narrow path that began to increase in height, skirting behind the base boulders jutting out from the cliff face.
I quickened my pace until I was right behind her, watching every one of her careful steps. She still had her camera slung around her neck and had pulled her mass of long hair up into a loose, messy bun at the crest of her head with pieces escaping at the edges of her face, creating a wild and sexy sort of frame. She glanced back at me when I hadn’t replied.
“What can I say? I live to mix up your perfectly sorted crayons.”
She released a breath that was part huff part chuckle, sounding aggravated yet mildly amused. “Of course you do.” Her footsteps slowed as she shimmied around a large boulder, gripping the limestone hard, as if her feet weren’t on the ground.
“Are you afraid?” I asked, honestly curious.
“To jump? No.”
“Then why are you on edge about it?”
“The jump and the fall aren’t what scare me. That part is fun. But when that rush ends … there’s a crash at the bottom. If it never ended, it wouldn’t be an issue. But everything has to end, right?”
“Wow, Tarsier, that’s some deep shit right there.”
“Where are you, Celia?” Mer’s voice shouted from above. Her lifted arms and face came into view after we moved around a twist in the cliff’s tiny pathway. “There you are! C’mon!”
When Celia didn’t say anything else, I asked, “So that’s why you stay in the lines a lot, huh? It’s comfortable there, no crash to worry about?”
“I guess,” she replied, breathing heavily as she peeked out over the cliff.
I bolted ahead of her, climbing around a few bushes and over one last boulder onto the flat of Eagle’s Nest where Jacob and Mer stood at the edge, waving out to the others below. Looking down at Celia, watching her focus as she tilted her camera up the last bit to take a picture of Mer was like being hit with something profound. And no, it wasn’t only her beauty—though she looked more beautiful, and sexier than ever—but something more I realized. I didn’t just want her. I craved more of her and the calmness she seemed to bring me from being close, like nothing else mattered.
She turned, and I reached out a hand to help her with the final step up. Her eyes narrowed with doubt, wondering what I might do, but then she slipped her soft palm into mine, letting me take hold. With my feet planted, I pulled as she took a step, her body coming flush to mine. I didn’t back off. I needed a moment with her close. And she didn’t object like I thought she might. She merely tipped those eyes up to me and parted her lips—
“Yes! I can’t wait anymore,” Mer said with a laugh, jumping over to us, tugging Celia away. “I’m going first. Take my picture?”
“Yeah,” Celia agreed, moving to the edge, not looking back. She waited, watching Mer sprint forward and launch herself into the air.
As Celia snapped several pictures, I joined Jacob, tracking Mer’s fifty-foot free fall and splash into the dark blue water.
“I’m up,” Jacob said.
“You sure, man? You don’t have any backup hair shit,” I joked, with my eyes still pinned on Celia, who waved to Mer below. “Get ready to capture a magical oil-slick rainbow inside the water after Jacob goes in, Celia.”
Jacob backed up as far as the cliff allowed. “I might leave you more than that to jump into, asshole.”
“Don’t you piss down there!” I said as he ran by. He slugged my arm as he went then threw himself off with a “Wooooooo!”
Celia laughed behind her camera, capturing Jacob’s epic cannonball from high above.
I snuck up behind her, grabbed her around the waist, and yanked her backward instead of pushing. She screeched then spun around, crazy eyed and ready to fight.
Releasing her and holding up my hands, I said, “Joke. I wouldn’t do that from this high.”
Her breaths were quick, her cheeks flushed. “Dammit, Caleb.”
I grabbed the camera, lifting the strap over her head and clicking a few shots of her as she calmed down. “Jump with me.”
“What? No. I have my camera. It’s not waterproof.”
“I’ll come back up and get it. Come on, Celia. Let’s fall together.” I set her camera down, stepped in close, and ran the tip of my fingers along her jaw. “I promise I’ll be there after the crash.” She knew I wanted more, that this wasn’t only about the jump. I needed her to be mine.
For a few moments, she was silent, and I let myself think that maybe …
“I can’t. I just can’t.”
Ouch. Fucking hell, the rejection hurt worse every time. I wanted to ask her why, demand a valid reason. But I took the hit as I had before, knowing that despite all the times I’d vowed to stop asking, there’d likely be another next time.
“Right,” I said, backing away. “Be careful on the way down, okay?”
Because I had no plan to stick around the rest of the day torturing myself.
I smiled at her then took the jump, already feeling the crash.
16
______________
Celia
-now-
Caleb’s place sat on a dairy farm owned by a Mennonite family at the south-western border of Ellville. It was a square cottage-style house with white siding, fixed black shutters, and a small front porch big enough to hold two wooden rockers and a tiny table—no doubt he’d handmade himself.
After leaving the water tower the night before, he’d insisted I meet him at his place to take the rest of the driv
e to the quarry together. What he’d offered to do was drive all the way to pick me up even though it would have been a huge waste of travel and time for him, so we compromised. In reality, I barely cared how we managed to get together. Walk, run, crawl on all fours—I was prepared to do anything to see him. The previous night had been amazing. His words had erased my concerns and had me melting inside his arms. And the kiss we’d shared … Yeah, I had to force myself back into my car when all I really wanted was to stay right there with him in the storm, lightning be damned.
“Hi,” he said, coming out of his house to meet me. He slung a backpack and a towel over his shoulder then picked up a cooler from the porch.
“Hi,” I replied, locking my car while watching him load the cooler into the back seat of his truck.
“Did you want to see my place before we leave?” he asked, twisting his keys in hand.
I stared at the cute house, knowing how bad of an idea that was.
He laughed lightly and bit his bottom lip, knowing exactly what I was thinking. Shit. “Probably best we get to the quarry.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, stepping up to the passenger door where he met me.
“Come here,” he whispered, lifting his hands to my cheeks and staring into my eyes. “I’ve been waiting all night and morning to taste these lips again.”
“It was a long time,” I admitted.
“So long.” He took my mouth fully, sliding his tongue in to meet mine smoothly, passionately. The scruff along his jaw and upper lip rubbed against my skin, prickling.
The intensity made me feel weak. I clenched the sides of his T-shirt, needing to stabilize.
He eased off, kissing me once more chastely then smiling against my lips. “We should leave.”
“Yes,” I replied with my own smile.
He released my face then opened the passenger door for me before jogging around the front of the truck. Right away, the woodsy smell of sawdust hit me—cedar and pine and whatever else. The floor mats were clean but still had traces of it along the edging. His center console storage area was lifted, the urn and the bucket list notebook standing upright inside.
“What?” he asked when he hopped in and started the engine, eyeing me curiously.
“Just smells exactly like The Beast did. Like you. Like sawdust.”
He exhaled a laugh and pulled away from the house with a smile bigger than my own. His hand reached around the center console, past the urn and notebook, his palm twisting up. I slid mine over it, and he instantly threaded our fingers.
“Glad you brought a bag to change. Did you eat lunch already?”
“I did.”
“Okay. And no one followed you?”
“No. What did the production company have to say?”
“They found the video and got it taken down like the one from the wake. It was a newer anonymous account. They think it might be one of their old crew members who was close with Mer. They said not to worry too much but to report if anything else happens.”
“Good to know. Hopefully nothing does.” Not wanting to dwell on that, I asked, “So you rent from the farm owners? How do you like it?”
His fingers moved inside my grasp, sliding back and forth like he needed to feel more, touch more. “I like it. The cow smell isn’t as bad since I’m over the hill from the main grazing field and barn. They have daily pickups at four in the morning, though.” He laughed when I grimaced. “Every day except Sundays, of course. I’m used to it, so I don’t mind. The rent is reasonable, and it’s close to the warehouse.”
“It looked nice. Peaceful there.”
“The owner, Eli, inherited it from his family. He and his wife are in their thirties and have two daughters under ten. So if he needs quick help with anything when his workers are off, I give him a hand. Mer saw the place during a visit last year after I moved in. She said it was the last thing she pictured for me, stuck here, living on a farm, and especially that I was back working for Dad. But I’ve always loved the job, and I want to help him grow the company. It was an easy decision. I’m happy with it.”
“I can picture you there, pushing those cows around,” I admitted while actually picturing him shirtless and sweaty, carrying bales of hay, hosing himself off on a hot summer day. Heat rushed through me.
“I’ve always had a knack for being pushy.”
“You do. And persuasive. Perfect for that business degree. And if you decided to quit the woodworking biz, I’m sure those cows wouldn’t mind having you as a manager.”
“I’m sure they’d be impressed with my skills.” He flashed a sly smile my way before focusing back on the road. “What about you? Are you happy, Celia?”
Hmm. “I suppose I am.”
“That doesn’t sound very convincing.”
“Well, I have a decent job. My apartment is nice. It’s not perfect, but what really is?”
“Living where you want to. Having a job or career that you love, that makes you happy. Or working toward a goal for those things. That’s close to perfection.”
“True.”
“So why not leave your job and do what you love?” His hand squeezed mine while he jerked his chin toward my camera bag.
“I’m not sure. I guess I’m comfortable at Pearson Insurance and haven’t thought much about leaving.”
“Ah. Do they at least treat you well? Give you advancement options?”
I laughed, thinking of Jerky Jerry and my stagnant, practically entry-level position. “Not really, no.”
“It’s not because of … the coworker guy that was at your place?”
“Oh! No, nothing to do with him. In fact, that won’t happen anymore. Him, I mean. He won’t happen anymore,” I said in a rush, wanting to kick myself immediately after. Was telling him that my time with Brent was over being too presumptuous? Or was it better to say so, as he had told me about the girl at the wake the previous night? It had been a while since I’d been exclusive with someone. And was I assuming that Caleb wanted something on that level with me? Stop. Just stop thinking.
“Really? Hope I’m not the reason. I mean, he seemed like a great guy when I met him. Super nice.” He smirked to the windshield with a devilish pull of his lips.
My mouth popped open. “You are such an—”
“Ass. I know. I’ve been called that a time or two thousand.”
“One thousand and ninety of them came from Mer.”
He laughed, full and deep and so sexy. I wanted to join him, but I was too mesmerized by the sound. It had been an eternity since I’d heard it so loose and carefree. Now it was richer and more resonant, the tone reaching more places than my ears. I inhaled deeply to keep my thoughts and body in check.
“Shit, it’s so true. She handed me mine so many times.”
“Me too.”
“Yeah, that was when she wanted to mother you like you were her baby bird, so frail and innocent.”
“Shut up. She didn’t.”
“That’s probably the most bogus statement I’ve ever heard from you, not that you told me many. Though, there was that one time you tried to convince me that eye masks could help retain study information better.”
“Um, pretty sure I did convince you of that.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
“But you took mine and wore it all the time.”
“Oh, yes, I wore it.” He lifted his eyebrows with a glance at me. “I had some sweet dreams too.”
Oh! My cheeks were on fire. “All right, maybe Mer did mother me,” I admitted, moving back to the point.
“Yeah, she wanted to push you but never really followed through. That’s why she was a better friend than me. I couldn’t seem to stay behind those lines.”
“Pushy,” I replied with a small smile. “She helped me in many ways, though. Was always there for me then.”
“I know.” His voice softened.
He kept hold of my hand the last few minutes. We were both content in silence, thinking about Mer, about the past.
When we pulled down the gravel road to the quarry, a few cars were already parked in the makeshift lot. The area mostly looked the same. Some trees had grown a little taller and fuller, their lush canopy shading the back portion nicely.
“Is that a cabin at the far end?” I asked, staring at the massive two-story building with a double deck and a fire pit close to the water.
“I heard the property was sold, but I had no idea they built on the land. Looks like a lodge or something. There’s another access road too.”
Driving in farther, we noticed more space had been cleared for vehicles, the road extending out and around the cabin.
Caleb parked, and we jumped out. Past the line of trees, a few people lounged on the water’s edge on a tiny strip of sand.
“They made a little beach.”
“Look,” Caleb said, moving toward a bench beside a small wooden building labeled restrooms. Signs were posted, warning swimmers of various hazards and asking to pick up their trash. “Guess they adapted for visitors. You ready to do this?” His hand slipped under my hair to grasp the back of my neck. His touch was reassuring but my nerves started ramping up.
“As I’ll ever be.”
We stripped down to our swimsuits. I tried not to think about how cold the water likely was, but its icy assault when swimming on senior skip day was hard to forget. I found Caleb’s eyes on me as I turned, lids low and lusty. The look was enough to melt all my icy thoughts.
“The memories … I half expected you to be in a bright yellow bikini. And I see that skin of yours is still competing with the sun.”
With a shake of my head, I chuckled, recalling it all too. Then I stared at him, his bare chest solid with even more pronounced grooves and ridges in his abs than he’d had back then. His skin was already golden tan, some of it natural, some possibly from soaking up the spring sunshine. The V-cut that disappeared into his mint green board shorts didn’t go unnoticed either. And a tattoo on his shoulder, with a thick central base and spindly lines that forked and curled intricately up and down, branching out.
“Alder tree,” he said. “Celtic astrology.”
Senior Year Bucket List Page 11