Love in Troubled Times

by Gayle Riley

  In college, he’d been able to cover it up. He’d been able to get by on talent alone. He wouldn’t think twice about staying out all night the day before a big game. And there was no bigger game than the one against Alabama. He was up till four in the morning, woke up a few hours before the game with two naked women laying in his bed, their legs and arms intertwined with his. The room reeked of cigarettes, and sweaty, stinky, hot breath sex. There was an ashtray full of butts. The floor was covered with bottles of vodka, whiskey, beer, wine. And they were all empty. Every single one of them. That’s how he’d always wanted to do it. Do it in style, his way. Once he’d shaken off the hangover and few bad throws in the first half, he went on to throw three touchdowns and lead his team on a last-minute 95-yard touchdown drive.

  That was the day that cemented his legacy. He would never be forgotten in Texas. Never. It was also the day that he locked up the Heisman Trophy.

  But now he couldn’t help feeling that he’d squandered so much. He’d wasted his time and his talent, two things that he would never get back. He’d become a joke, a laughingstock, the biggest bust in the history of the NFL. Ryan leaf. JaMarcus Russell. He made those guys look like overachievers.

  He couldn’t stand sitting on his couch, nervously flipping through the channels, afraid that he may end up hearing more scathing, mocking criticism.

  He didn’t know what he was going to do next with his life. He was without a team and the season was two weeks away from starting. Nobody had even invited him to camp.

  This was supposed to be his comeback season. He was going to put his past behind him. He’d gone to rehab, gotten his life together. He felt great.

  Trent grunted as he pumped the 200 pounds of iron 1,2,3,4 times. He put it back on the rack. He felt pumped up and let out a loud roar. The guys in the gym clapped their hands, hooted, and howled.

  “Not bad for a quarterback,” a big burly said. “Not bad at all.”

  Trent was used to being the center of attention. Whether in the weight room, on the field, at the club, or at the bar. He was always the center of attention. Wherever he went people seemed to surround him. His energy seemed to infect everybody. But that same energy also attracted a fair number of enemies, people who hated him without even knowing anything about him, beyond what they’d read on Twitter, heard on the radio, or seen on TV.

  Maybe they’d seen a few crazy party pics on his Instagram account and now they thought that they were entitled to judge him. He couldn’t stand that. For a long time, he’d taken all the criticism personally. He’d challenged journalists and teammates whenever a disparaging word was said about him. There had always been plenty of guys who wanted to knock him out, put the cocky blonde hunk flat on his ass.

  But no one had ever dared put a hand on him. Was it fear or respect that kept them from cold-cocking him? At the end of the day, it really didn’t matter. Every teammate he’d ever had knew that if they did lash out at him, they’d be cut from the team within the hour. That’s the type of power that he’d wielded all his career. But that appeared to be over.

  He was still so young. Only 24. But those college days, running around stadiums in Texas, Oklahoma, Alabama, Florida and Georgia, all that was over. The pageantry, the wild celebrations and after parties. Over.

  Trent was definitely a longhorn. He had a longhorn. He also had a pair of big balls. Monkey balls. The kind that got him through tough situations, the kind of balls that helped him stay in the pocket on a third and seven, two crazed looking 300-pound line defensive lineman, bearing down on his ass, breathing down your neck, and just before they could get their claws on him, he would juke left, then right, dip and dodge and slip out of the noose. Then he’d scramble, looking for a receiver. Then he’d spot a teammate wide open, all the way on the other side of the field. It was a dangerous throw, the kind of throw that his coaches were always telling him not to make. But Trent had never been one to listen to wise counsel, whether on the field or off it. That’s who he’d always been. So of course, he made the risky throw. That’s how he’d always lived his life.

  While the ball sailed through the air, the entire stadium held its breath. There was a loud gasp when the ball landed in the receiver’s hands. And then one section of the stadium went wild, jumping up and down, clapping their hands, and screaming, piercing the Heavens with their cries.

  Touchdown!

  Trent screamed and pumped his fists in the air. All of his teammates mobbed him, slapped him on the ass, slammed their helmets into his and grunted.

  After that dramatic third-down touchdown, everything seemed to come together for Trent and his Longhorn teammates. He made one great play after another and before any of the so-called experts could wrap their heads around what was happening, a 15-point underdog had won the National Championship. David slayed Goliath.

  From that day forward, Trent was a legend.

  He couldn’t help smiling every time he watched the replay of that game that had changed his life forever. He’d finally cemented himself as the best player in the country. Maybe one of the best college football quarterbacks of all time.

  Trent turned up the volume. The announcers were praising him, laying it on real thick. He loved that. He could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

  Trent hopped off the couch, clapping wildly, hooting and howling in the darkened room. The viewing room.

  “Hell yeah!” His deep masculine voice resounded off the walls. It was the booming voice of a leader. An alpha. He could feel his mojo coming back, the blood coursing through his veins.

  He looked to his left and raised his arm in the air, preparing to give a high-five.

  That’s what he and his father used to do. But this time, he stood there with his arm frozen in the air. What a horrendous feeling. He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone.

  The images of his father, Big Daddy Daniels, came flooding back to him. Big Daddy was always trying to tell him which women to look out for and which ones to trust. He never had a problem finding something attractive about a woman. He had a very eclectic palate, which he ended up passing on to his son who also had a very open mind when it came to the women that he pursued.

  After his father’s death, Trent had really lost his way. He’d always been a bit reckless, a wild child, bad boy. He’d always been the type of guy who didn’t give a damn about whether or not he pushed the envelope. The envelope be damned! Rules weren’t for him, especially the kind that tried to attach some sort of morality to the way a man conducted himself in his private life, in particular when it came to the ladies. Male journalists seemed to take a particular pleasure in exposing the juicy details of his sex life.

  Whenever he went out, even if just for a coffee at Starbucks, it seemed like there was an army of paparazzi tailing him, some hanging close to his bumper or pulling up alongside him, making it clear that they were following him, even taunting him, trying to get a response, something impulsive and irrational, something that would grab the headlines.

  After he led Texas to victory in the national championship game, he was America’s darling. The tough, rugged bad boy who’d managed to win in the end. There’d been so many people rooting against him, hoping that he would fall flat on his arrogant face.

  But there were many more people who wanted him to succeed and stick it to all the uptight people in the media, those people that didn’t know how to let their hair down and have fun, those, weak skinny, beta males who seethed with jealousy when they saw the 6 foot five, green eyed quarterback, who could make all the throws, especially the deep ones. Nobody went deeper than Trent.

  Chapter 2

  Julie couldn’t believe that he’d screwed this us up. It was supposed to be their anniversary night. They’d been planning on going out to her favorite Chinese restaurant for weeks. She’d been calling and texting Jeffrey for the past forty-five minutes, but he still hadn’t responded. She was starting to get worried that maybe something had happened to him. But that was just too horr
ific for her to spend a lot of time thinking about. The thought that something could have happened to him on their third anniversary was too much for her to handle. It was the kind of horrible thing that you would hear on the news. It was the kind of horrible thing that happened to other people. The kind of thing that you thought you were immune to.

  But as she paced around their apartment in her new black dress and heels, her mind began to go in even darker directions. Pangs of jealousy began to well up in her body. For a moment her head became dizzy and she needed to lean up against the wall to keep from falling over. Several months ago she’d seen Jeffrey’s phone lying on the couch. It was weird to see his phone just sitting there like that. She’d only ever seen it in his hand. He never left it out. And it wasn’t something that she paid that much attention to. They were always together unless we were working.

  She would have preferred to spend these moments of freedom traveling the country or maybe even the world. But when She had brought the idea up to Jeffrey but he quickly shot it down. There was too much work to be done at the firm. He couldn’t afford to take a week off for some meaningless vacation. There would be plenty of time for traveling once they had really established themselves in their careers.

  It had really hurt her when he said that line about a meaningless vacation. What could possibly be meaningless about it, if they were spending time together? And that’s when she started to question the point of being in a relationship if they couldn’t even spend time together. And especially on the night that he knew was really important to her.

  Sure, it wasn’t their third wedding anniversary. They’d been dating for five years but they still were not engaged. And they’d been living in the same apartment for the last year. But marriage was one of the subjects that Jeffrey refused to talk about. Every time she tried to bring it up, he would frown and wave his hands in front of his face.

  A few months ago she happened to see Jeffrey’s phone sitting on the couch. She didn’t think much of it at first. But then it started beeping, nonstop. Someone was clearly sending him lots of texts. She thought that maybe it was a family member or something. His mother had recently spent a couple weeks in the hospital. And the first thought she had was that something might have happened to her. So when she went to pick up the phone she was not snooping on him. But what she saw were definitely not texts from anyone in his family.

  There were texts from a Jessica, a Mandy and a Chloe. Her heart sank when she saw those names. She had to find out who those girls were and why they were talking to him. The first few messages sent waves of jealousy flooding through her body. There were some very suggestive texts sent back and forth, but before she had time to scroll through all of the messages and really get a feel for the nature of the relationship, she heard the front door opening.

  For a moment her body froze. Her mind went blank. She had no idea what to do. She considered running. She considered throwing the phone across the room. But all she did was stand there while the door opened and Jeffrey burst back into the apartment. She dropped the phone on the couch in the exact place where she had picked it up.

  Jeffrey rushed into the apartment without saying anything to her and nearly knocked her out of the way as he went straight for his phone. He didn’t even look at the screen. He stuffed it straight into his pocket and turned to head out again. She thought that was really weird. He never acted like that. So she decided to call him.

  “Hey Jeffrey, is everything all right?”

  He turned around slowly and glared at her. Then he sighed and lowered his eyes. She walked towards him and put her arms around him and once again asked him if everything was all right. He sighed again before raising his eyes to meet hers. She grew really worried that something was wrong. Maybe those texts, at least some of them, did have to do with his mother.

  “It’s Mom,” he said burying his head in her shoulder. “She has to go back to the hospital for more tests. The bills just keep adding up.”

  She ran my fingers through his hair and tried to comfort him as best she could. Then she wiped away a few tears that had begun to form in his beautiful, light green eyes.

  For the next hour, they’d stayed on the couch, talking and crying. By the end of the day she had completely forgotten about the female names, she’d found on his phone and the sexually suggestive texts that she’d seen.

  But now all these months later, those memories were coming back. And she felt as if all of her mind and body were being taken over by thoughts of jealousy.

  Chapter 3

  Trent woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of his phone beeping. He felt certain that it was Pamela. About damn time, he said to himself. When he picked up the phone, he grunted in disappointment. There were several new email messages sent to him by Julie the wedding planner. Each one of them showed purchases that Pamela had requested that Julie make for the wedding.

  Trent blinked several times as he stared at the astronomical bills. She’d paid more than $40,000 for a floral arrangement. and almost $65,000 for some kind of artisan silverware.

  What the fuck! His mind was made up. There was no way that he was going through with this wedding. He didn’t love Pamela. Never had. And it was very unlikely that she loved him. The whole thing was such a farce.

  He hopped out of bed and paced around his room. It was a tough decision. But It was one that he had to make.

  He called the wedding planner and let her know that the whole charade was being called off. There was a long silence as Trent waited for her to respond.

  Even though the wedding was canceled, the bachelor party was still held at a discrete Las Vegas strip club. Normally, Trent loved taking those sorts of trips with his friends. It was a chance to bond away from the field and the practice facility, a chance to just be regular guys.

  But during this trip, he was clearly out of it.

  “You’re single again,” Brian, a big, burly offense lineman said. “Just like I predicted.

  He burst out laughing and so did the other three guys sitting at the table. Lights swirled around them. Waitresses in skimpy ass showing shorts, tight titty popping tops, sauntered around providing bottle service. Leggy blondes with big boobs and tattoos worked their way up, then slid down golden poles.

  “Some of the guys thought that you would go through with it,” Brian said. “Sometimes it’s too easy to take people’s money.”

  Trent raised his head and stared directly at the big, bear of a man.

  “What?” He said a look at confusing confusion etched on his face.

  What Brian told him nearly made his head explode. A few the guys on the team had bet about whether or not he would be able to go to through with the marriage to Pamela. Brian was the only one that had been able to see the sham engagement. He ended up winning around $40,000.

  “That’s fucked up,” Trent said. “If you weren’t already so ugly I would consider bashing your face in.”

  Brian chuckled and put his arm around Trent’s shoulder.

  “It was just a friendly wager,” Brian said. “No offense meant.”

  Chapter 4

  Trent looked out of the coffee shop window onto the busy East Village Street. Everything was such a blur to him. He had only rolled into town a few days ago and he knew that it would probably take him a while to get acclimatized to this place. He had come from all the way across the country. Sometimes long trips would help him refocus. He definitely needed that right now. So many mixed emotions swirled in his head.

  He’d spent part of his life in Colorado and the rest in Texas. He had the wild western spirit. And that’s what people loved about him. But it certainly wasn’t the only thing. And no matter what town he found himself in or what town he was being run out of, either by the police or jealous husbands and boyfriends, there was always a woman for Trent Daniels. He had the kind of swagger that made women melt.

  He was the bad boy that so many women dream about. But this guy was the real thing and you could tell by the
cold gleam in his beautiful green eyes. He had a chiseled, masculine jaw that always had a few days’ stubble on it.

  But for all his tough guy looks and ways, Trent felt very out of place in New York City. He loved the wide-open spaces. He loved the desert roads. He embodied that true Western frontier spirit. He was coming up on his twenty-eighth birthday and he showing no signs of slowing down. He could never imagine having to settle down and start a family. He couldn’t believe that other men actually worked really hard just for the privilege of leading such a boring life.

  Yet, he’d been so close to tying the knot. Just a few weeks away.

  Nope. That sort of life would never be for Trent. He would be on the open road for his entire life.

  The waitress brought his plate to the table. “Here’s your coffee. Milk with two sugars. And here is the bacon, home fries, and French toast”, The middle-aged woman with brown eyes looked Trent up and down.

  It had probably been a long time since she’d gotten with a stud that young. And she seemed to be imagining all of the things that they could do together. Trent knew that the woman was checking him out. But he had grown plenty used to that over the years. Women, young and old, couldn’t help but stare and continue to stare as their minds drifted off into fantasyland. But no girl had been able to win his heart, to really make him want to settle down.

  The waitress eventually walked away from the table, but she had a big grin on her face and a twinkle in her eye. Trent had been on his bike all night and he hadn’t bothered to stop. Or rather he might have been afraid that if he stopped he would end up turning back. This city was just so damn big. He knew that he would never be comfortable in a place like this. There were just too many people.

  After Trent finished eating, he swigged the last bit of coffee and went outside for smoke. He felt a little better now as the city moved all around him. Nobody seemed to make eye contact. They were either staring straight ahead or looking at their phones and iPods. He wondered how people got to meet each other in a place like this. But then two police cars passed and he snapped back to the present moment.