Finding Maddox (The Road to Truth Book 3)

by Quell T Fox

  Finding Maddox

  The Road to Truth Series

  Quell T. Fox

  This book contains adult/mature situations.

  This is a paranormal reverse harem.

  There is m/m action.

  Copyright © 2019 Quell T. Fox

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof

  may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

  without the express written permission of the publisher

  except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Printed in the United States of America

  CHAPTER 1

  Friday

  -MONDAY-

  I killed my mother.

  The words repeat in my head over and over and over, until I finally understand what they mean.

  I killed my mother.

  And for some fucked up reason, I think of my own mother and how many times I wanted to kill her. How many times I wished she’d leave and never come back. Or end up with the wrong guy who hit her a little too hard. Or maybe she took too many drugs. That’s fucked, I know. But it’s the truth. And I’ve never been a liar.

  This dark and broody man that’s only a few feet away from me, killed someone. That’s terrifying, right? It should be. But it isn’t. No, it’s sad. Heartbreaking. My heart aches. For him and everything that he has dealt with. I don’t know him well, but… looking into those golden-brown eyes, I do know him. I know him better than I know myself. That’s how I feel.

  “I need you to know that it was necessary.” Of course it was. He wouldn’t do something like that unless it was necessary. How do I know that? I don’t know, but I do. A feeling. Just a feeling. Alec pauses for a moment. He has more to say. His eyes tell me that he’s searching for the right words to explain. “But I also need you to know that I’m not ready to talk about it, yet. But when I am, I will tell you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yes. I trust you to tell me when you’re ready. I don’t know why, because that’s some heavy shit. But I do. As long as you promise to tell me… eventually, then I think we will be okay.” How would a normal person react to this information? I’m not quite sure, but what I am sure of is that I am well beyond normal.

  “I do.”

  “Then okay. Let’s go to bed.”

  “I can still sleep in here?” He asks, shocked. Like if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t even consider it. Though, I know that’s a lie. If the roles were reversed, he’d do what I’m doing. Alec and I are more alike than we realize. The secret is, I am starting to realize, and I think he is too. “After what I just said? And after what I did to you?” I imagine how bad my face must look. I say imagine, because I haven’t looked at it. I refuse. My stomach turns at the thought of how he must feel when he looks at me, knowing that he’s partly to blame.

  “Yes. Though, you should know, it’ll be the first time I sleep with a murderer.” I should be scared, I know this. We made a deal to have Callan sleep with me every night (see how long that lasted?) to avoid Alec getting into bed with me because of him choking me out when he snuck in here. Me letting him in here is like leaving the canary cage open for the hungry bird. But, something about this is different. I don’t know what it is, but something inside of me is telling me that it will be okay. Everything will be okay if I just trust them. So, that’s what I do. “Too soon?” I ask. Yeah, maybe it was too soon.

  “You are so fucking weird,” he shakes his head and lays down on his back, not bothering to get under the blankets.

  “Thank you. I take great pride in my weirdness. Do you mind if I change?” I stand from the bed slowly.

  “It’s your room.” Alec sweeps a hand out in front of him. I purse my lips, giving him a look and then turning to my dresser. I pull out a pair of black lacy panties and a black camisole. My ‘pajamas’. I keep my back to him while I change quickly, and I admit, I’m disappointed when there is no reaction from him and even more disappointed when I turn around and see that his eyes are closed. His breathing is even and steady.

  Is he sleeping already? How anticlimactic.

  I crawl into bed on the left side. The side that has become mine when I share my bed with one of the guys. When I share with two, I’m in the middle, of course. And when I’m alone, I own the entirety of this bed. I pull the blankets over me, and along with them, a bit of guilt. I told Maddox I would spend last night with him and I slept with Callan. I didn’t say I would sleep with him tonight, but now here I am with Alec, when I could have made it up to him. I spent the day with Maddox, so that’s something, right? I worry about upsetting them, I’m going to drive myself crazy over it. I’ll talk to Maddox tomorrow. He’s a big boy, I’m sure he understands.

  I focus on getting to sleep. In the morning I’m calling a meeting of my own.

  ***

  I wake in Alec’s arms. At some point during the night I must have moved closer to him… or the other way around. Definitely the other way around, since I’m at the edge of the bed. He’s spooning me, and his large frame encases mine, keeping me nice and warm. His breathing is steady. He’s still asleep. I reach for my phone carefully. I unlock it and scroll through my social media pages for a while, trying to entertain myself. I have a feeling Alec hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in a while and I don’t want to ruin this for him. A soft knock sounds on the door and it creaks open.

  “Friday?” Lenny whispers, “are you alive in there?”

  I lift my arm, giving Lenny a thumbs up. The light from the hallway is enough for him to see my gesture. The curtains in my room have stayed closed because I forgot to open them – which is better than forgetting to shut them – and thankfully, this fancy schmancy hotel has the good blackout curtains. I have no idea what it looks like outside today.

  “We’re going out for breakfast this morning. Leaving soon, want me to wake the beast for you?” Lenny whispers loudly.

  I quickly turn my hand into the thumbs down gesture. He lets out a whine and the door shuts with a soft click. I place my phone back on the nightstand and twist my body around to face Alec. He looks grumpy even in his sleep. Poor guy has RBF. Actually, it’s kind of hot. The broody, masculine man. That’s Alec. Why is that so hot?

  Feeling a bit daring, I run my hand over his cheek, brushing my fingers through his reddish-brown beard. I do this a few times before I realize that his eyes are open and he’s staring at me.

  “I’m sorry, I–I,“ I stutter, pulling my hand from his face, like it burned me.

  “It’s okay. Keep doing it, it feels… nice.” He says the word like it’s forbidden. One that should never be spoken, or bad, bad things will happen. His voice is deep and raspy with sleep. I continue to run my fingers through his beard – as he requested – and his eyes flutter closed. When is the last time he was this close with someone? The last time he allowed someone to touch him like this? The scent of oranges and lemons fill my nose and I think it’s coming from his beard.

  “How do you get it so soft?”

  “Special beard wash and conditioner.” That must be where the scent comes from. The gentle scent suites him for some crazy reason. It’s not what you would expect him to smell like. It’s a sweet surprise. I couldn’t imagine him smelling like anything else.

  “Lenny said we’re going out for breakfast, are you ready to get up?”

  “Yeah.” He answers but doesn’t move.

  “Did you sleep okay?” I ask, trying to make conversation.

  “Yeah.” Okay, so he’s not a morning person. Got it. Talking to him right now is like talking to a bear.

  I remove my hand from his face and start to
untwine myself from his grasp, but he holds me tighter. He takes my chin between his forefinger and thumb, his eyes shoot to my lips and I lick them instinctively. My breathing becomes heavy and I swear his does too. He looks into my eyes like he’s seeing the world for the first time. He moves closer, just in the slightest. I press closer to him, so ready for this. He moves so slowly, it’s like time has stopped. His hot breath tickles my lips – he’s that close. His bright eyes bore into mine. If he looks away, everything will end. That’s how it feels.

  BANGBANG!

  Alec lets out a sigh and rolls onto his back, leaving me panting and wanting for more.

  “Leaving in 10 minutes!” Maddox yells from the other side of the door. Ah, so he’s back to his normal jealous self. Great.

  “Okay!” Alec shouts back, louder than necessary. Much louder.

  We’ll have our moment again. I want to tell him that, but I don’t. He’s shouting at Maddox for ruining this moment, and for so much more. It’s because it’s Maddox that he’s shouting. I slide out of bed and move to the closet, flipping through the hangers, trying to decide what I am going to wear. Alec gets out of my bed with a sigh and disappears from the room without a word, closing the door behind him. Choosing a pair of light jeans and a black crop top, I dress quickly. I step into my flip-flops, throw my hair into a messy bun and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, staring at the sink the entire time (not wanting to catch a glimpse of how horrific my face still looks), and I plop onto the couch when I’m done, to wait for the others.

  It’s exceptionally quiet in here. Where is everyone? I ask myself.

  A few moments later, Alec appears from the hallway. His eyes searching the area until they finally land on me.

  “Come on. They’re downstairs already.”

  “Impatient pricks.” He lets out a low laugh at my comment.

  “You’ll get used to it.”

  We’re downstairs in only a few minutes. Callan and Lenny are sitting on a bench by the floor to ceiling windows, while Maddox talks to the woman behind the counter. She’s beautiful with straight black hair, large brown eyes and olive skin. I imagine her speaking with an accent. I know guys love that shit.

  I follow beside Alec towards Lenny and Callan, but my eyes stay on the girl that’s talking to Maddox. She’s smiling big, batting her false lashes at him, and playing with her hair. I don’t like it.

  “You have nothing to worry about,” Alec tells me as we reach the other guys.

  “I’m not worried about anything.” I say, clearing my throat and pulling my eyes away, only to shoot them right back in that direction. What? I can’t help it!

  “Cupcake, if looks could kill that poor girl would be dead.” Lenny pockets his phone and pulls me to him. I wrap my arms around his waist. I breath him in and relax. His hugs make everything better.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I play dumb, because obviously I know what he’s talking about. I guess I’m not good at hiding my emotions, but, I never claimed to be. This feeling of jealousy is strange. It’s not something I’m used to. Even when I walked in on Dickcheese cheating on me, jealousy wasn’t what I felt. I guess no one before was important enough. That’s a scary thought, for many reasons.

  “Uh-huh.” He responds, kissing the top of my head. And I know that he doesn’t believe me for even a second.

  Callan disappears from my view, and I watch him as he moves to the counter and stands by Maddox. Great. Now I have to worry about this chick flirting with the both of them. My eyes stay glued in that general direction, from the corner of my eye, hoping that Lenny and Alec won’t notice from where they stand. I try to hide my glare, but I don’t think I’m doing a good job. I can’t see either of their faces, but knowing Callan, there is no way he’s flirting back. He can barely talk to me. But Maddox? That guy is a walking flirt machine. Knowing him, he’s probably putting on a show just to get a rise out of me.

  The moment they turn, I avert my eyes elsewhere, pretending to be staring at the large painting across the foyer. The one that looks like a giant mess of colors. It’s…uh, interesting. Lenny snickers beside me and I know I’ve been caught red handed.

  “Ready to go?” Maddox asks, shoving his wallet into the back pocket of his tightly fitted – leaving nothing to the imagination – jeans. The bulge in his pants makes me drool. It’s pathetic.

  “We were waiting on you,” I snap. Maddox shoots a questioning eyebrow up, and Callan ignores it completely. They weren’t doing anything wrong, but I still didn’t like it. I get it, but I have emotions that sometimes take control over me. Happens to the best of us.

  Maddox gives me a look of whatever you say and then walks towards the doors. We all follow. I give one last glance back at the girl behind the counter, who stares at the guys longingly, but shoots her eyes back towards her computer when she notices me looking. I knew it.

  CHAPTER 2

  Friday

  It’s dark and grey outside, which seems to be fitting to my mood. Thunder rolls from far off and I’m sure it’ll start raining soon. The sidewalk is an array of color as people rush past, umbrella’s in hand. Surely in a hurry to their destinations, not wanting to get caught in the storm. The jeep is waiting for us at the curb. The valet hands Maddox his keys and he walks around the front and slides into the driver’s seat. I reach for the back door, giving Callan a knowing look. He takes a seat in the front and buckles up. Ever since he told me that he gets car sick, I’ve let him sit in the front. Something that Maddox has slowly learned is not worth the argument. I can’t let others suffer just so I can sit in the front seat. I’m not twelve…

  “I let the front desk know that we will be leaving on Sunday. We should get more food for the week. We can go out Saturday night, Sunday afternoon we will head home, to Lenny’s.”

  “He won fair and square,” I add, catching on to his tone. Maddox wasn’t happy about the decision, because he didn’t win. Sometimes, I think he’s twelve.

  “Yeah, in a simple child’s game.”

  “If it’s so simple than why did you lose?” I ask, catching his eyes in the rearview mirror, pursing my lips and waiting for a response that I know I won’t get.

  He doesn’t answer. Instead, he breaks the eye contact, checks his side mirror and pulls out into traffic. He mumbles something under his breath that I don’t catch. This man brings out something in me that I didn’t know existed.

  I’m both excited and nervous about this next step. Going home with the guys. This is it. This is the last week of ‘pretend’. Once we leave here and get to Lenny’s, this whole thing – this us thing – will be real.

  The car ride is silent, as usual. Other than Lenny’s phone constantly dinging, from what I assume are texts. I’m not going to lie, it’s annoying me. Who could he possibly be talking to? What is wrong with me today? Maybe I’m getting my period… that would explain a lot. I dare to sneak a peek at his phone, but he has one of those privacy screen protectors, because I can’t see anything. Fuck off.

  I glance to my left at Alec, who has his head against the headrest, with his arm over his eyes. Maybe he didn’t sleep as good as I thought he did. I rest my head against the back of the seat and focus on relaxing. My skin is crawling from too many negative emotions. Breath in. I have no reason to be acting like this. Breath out. No reason at all. Breathe in. I need to get a handle on this. Breath out. We haven’t been together long and I’m already turning into that crazy girlfriend. They haven’t done anything to make me worry, yet I am.

  Stop being a crazy bitch, Friday.

  We reach the restaurant in twenty minutes, but it feels like an hour. Lenny opens the car door for me and waits by it, but so does Alec. I choose to slide out through Alec’s side. I know Lenny wouldn’t think anything of my decision, but Alec may. I walk directly to the restaurant entrance, not waiting for any of them. They manage to catch up to me in no time, their long legs making it easy. Bastards. We don’t wait long before the hostess seats us. W
e get the last table available.

  I swear everyone is staring as we walk to our table towards the back. Why is everyone staring? Then I remember my face. It’s probably still a mess. Filled with bruises and cuts, including my throat. Both from the explosion and from Alec, (who seems to be handling that situation better, considering we slept together last night and I’m still alive). It doesn’t hurt much anymore, but I know it will take a while for it to look better. It probably looks worse now than when it first happened, which is why I continue to avoid mirrors. It isn’t easy when I use the bathroom, but I try my best – which is why I don’t exactly know how bad my face looks.

  We’re seated at a round wooden table that has menus, silverware and coffee mugs laid out already. We sit in our usual seats. Lenny to my right with Maddox to his. Callan on my left and then Alec between him and Maddox. “Your waitress will be over shortly, ya’ll have a good day.” The short, grey haired lady shuffles off to greet a young couple that’s just walked in before any of us can acknowledge her.

  ​I flip over my coffee cup and pick up my menu, fidgeting with it before placing it back down. “I’m struggling with something that I need you guys to help me with.” I was going to do the whole meeting thing, but it’s silly. Stupid, actually. And besides, everyone hates it – even me. I don’t know why I even made that comment. Why am I being such an insecure bitch right now? Maybe talking about it will help. It’s all eyes on me, then each guy places his menu down. Maddox going so far as to fold his hands in front of him – like this is a business meeting – and it takes everything in me to not smack that arrogant look off his too-good-looking face. Fuck. I should have thought this through a bit more. Screw it. I let the words fall from my mouth, because I’ve never been one to shut it. “I need us to be honest with each other. Always. This whole thing is new to me and I'm still a bit hesitant, I’ll admit. It’s going to take me a while to be okay with this. With us. But no matter what, no matter how bad, promise me that we will always be honest with each other. No secrets.”