Beards

by Serena J Bishop

  “A Cheerio?” Her eyes flashed with understanding. That’s what the parent meant by her looking the part. “Dammit!” She sat down beside him. “Where is it? Can you get it for me?”

  “Sure.” He carefully moved her long hair out of the way before pulling the Cheerio out from the back and presenting it to her. “Let me guess, Stevie gave you a hug goodbye while he was eating breakfast?”

  She smiled ruefully. “How’d you guess?”

  “Father of three, remember? But it’s okay, the Cheerio matches the milk stain on your blouse.”

  Roni looked down at her pale pink shirt to see an off-color blob high on her chest. “I can’t catch a break!”

  “Would you like to know what my wife did to make those early childhood years a lot easier?”

  ***

  “What did you do?” Gina asked in shock, as Roni changed out of her skirt and into her pajama pants.

  Roni smiled and ran a hand through her new, much shorter, bob haircut. “Do you like it?”

  Gina sat on their bed and stared, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled to articulate her thoughts. “It’s...different.”

  “It sure is. But do you like it?”

  “I don’t know yet. I’m...I’m stunned. What made you do this?”

  “I had a Cheerio in my hair.”

  Gina narrowed her eyes skeptically at Roni. “You cut nearly a foot of gorgeous, flaxen hair because of a Cheerio?”

  “You make it sound like I’m Rapunzel—was Rapunzel.” She threw her skirt in the hamper with a flourish. “Besides, your hair is shorter than this.”

  “But this,” Gina ran her hand through her own simple cut, “is so a perp can’t swing me around as easily. You couldn’t have done this because of a Cheerio.”

  It was times like this Roni missed talking to Allison. She would understand the connection. “I did this to make it a little easier to get the respect I deserve.”

  “Easier to dry and style, maybe, but if you think you didn’t have the respect of someone because of a Cheerio in your hair, I think you’re mistaken.”

  “There was also a milk stain,” Roni pointed to the area of the shirt she was unbuttoning.

  Gina couldn’t even appreciate Roni’s almost topless form she was so confused by her thought process. “I just wish you would have told me what you were planning on doing.”

  “I have to consult you now to make sure you approve of my haircuts?”

  Gina sighed. She didn’t want this to turn into another fight. “Of course not. It’s just...You’ve been extra tired and short-tempered ever since the school year began.”

  “Gina,” Roni pulled on her PSU sweatshirt, “when, in the seven years you have known me, have I ever not been more stressed when the school year began?”

  “I know, but I worry about you. Your administration isn’t supportive and they lay out extra obstacles for you to traverse. Just promise me that you’ll rethink your job there.” She reached for Roni’s hand and guided her to sit on the bed. “I make more money now. Early’s making more money as the assistant manager. Financially, we’re fine. I’d rather you quit than be miserable.”

  Roni paused. Gina was making some excellent points, but she had to make sure of something. “So, let me ask you this—are you telling me to quit?”

  “I would never tell you to do anything, but if it doesn’t make you happy, why do it?” A soft knock on their closed door brought them out of their conversation and a quick glance at her watch told her why. “Come in,” Gina instructed with a smile.

  Steven opened their door slowly, but Stevie came in as a blur. “Someone is finished with his bath and is quite insistent on that book.”

  Stevie felt that his Superman pajamas gave him extra speed and strength to climb the bed, while still grasping a small book. It was a failed attempt at multitasking. “GiGi, help.”

  Gina picked Stevie up and settled him on her lap. “This book again?”

  As if his mother didn’t know, Stevie pointed at the shape on the cover. “Momma, cars!”

  Roni smiled down at him before she kissed the top of his head. Her hair might have been shorter, but his dark, soft curls were definitely getting longer. “It’s a very good story. GiGi’s new favorite, in fact.”

  “I think Fried Green Tomatoes still wins that title.” She lifted him slightly onto her other leg for the sake of her circulation. “Okay, time to say goodnight to your momma.”

  “Buona notte,” he said proudly.

  Gina smiled broadly at his Italian. The pronunciation could use some work, but then again, that was the case with his English too. “Now, say I love you.”

  “Ti amo.”

  Roni kissed her bilingual son on the cheek. “I love you too.” She was actually learning more Italian now then when she and Gina had been dating.

  Gina held his tiny hand as they started out of the room to complete his bedtime ritual. Gina looked back to Roni, “We’ll pick up on the conversation we were having when I’m finished with my new book club.”

  ONE YEAR AND FIVE MONTHS LATER, MARCH 1999

  GINA WATCHED HER BREATH FOG and ran in place to keep her legs warm in the freezing temperature, outside of her home. Her hair was tucked under a knit hat and her skin was covered in thermal exercise wear. She was as comfortable as she could be, given the weather, but was still anxiously awaiting her running partner’s arrival. She hadn’t run with Steven in several months and hoped that his new partner, Sean Finley, wasn’t letting him slack off in the fitness department.

  Her brow lifted in shock when she saw Steven in shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt. “Are you crazy? You’re going to freeze.”

  “I’ll be fine. This is what I’ve been wearing all winter.” He hustled down the stairs and they started their warm-up jog down the block. “Finley likes to run outside as much as possible. Says it’s best to work out in the elements because ‘bad guys aren’t chased on a hamster wheel’.”

  “So, this new guy is working out okay?”

  “Much better than the last couple. He’s the ultimate professional, which annoys most of the other guys. Underwood can’t stand him.”

  “Probably because he doesn’t laugh at his asinine jokes.”

  Steven chuckled. “No, he doesn’t. Finley’s all about the job. One of those generational police officers, you know?”

  Gina nodded, trying to focus on the rhythm in her strides and not the burning in her lungs from the cold air. “Are you glad you stayed there and didn’t test out the K9 unit?”

  “Yeah. I’m happy where I am. I’ll save the ambitious career stuff for the rest of you. I just want to be the best father and cop I can be.”

  After a mile of pounding the sidewalk, they took a slow turn out of their suburban neighborhood and onto the small running path towards the park. Gina listened to the rustling of animals and looked at the playground equipment with fondness. The last time she had taken Stevie to the park, his feet touched the ground on the swing and he was able to push mostly by himself. “I can’t believe Stevie will be four. He’ll be starting kindergarten before we know it.” She smirked, “Whatever will Early do with his time?”

  “Actually, I was hoping we could talk about him this morning.”

  “Uhh,” Gina said with sarcastic exhaustion. “And here I just thought we were going to take a run like old times. What’s going on with Early?”

  “George, the manager, is retiring and Early is interested in applying for the position.”

  “Well, you did just say he was ambitious.”

  “He’s done a lot of growing up in the past five years. He thinks that it’s the mustache,” Steven added with a bright smile. “The thing is...if he gets the job, it would mean that Stevie would require daycare.”

  “Okay,” Gina drawled, “not unreasonable, especially considering it would only be for one year. I’m sure Roni would get on board with that.”

  Steven knew how his wife hated deviating from any plan. “You’re sure?”<
br />
  “Yeah.” She saw his skeptical face in her periphery. “Look...I know she’s a planner, but this is a logical move and we have the money to send him someplace nice.”

  “Will you bring it up to her?” Steven asked with puppy dog eyes. He did not want to be the one responsible for tarnishing Roni’s inked calendar.

  “Fine. I’ll bring it up—the daycare element. It’s up to Early to bring up the manager thing.”

  ***

  “That’s fantastic!” Roni said with enough glee to propel herself from the couch and into Early’s arms.

  Early used her momentum to pick her up into a spin. Trading in dance for weights had really helped his upper body strength. “Really?”

  Roni’s feet touched the ground again and she smoothed her disheveled shoulder-length hair as she scanned the ambiguous faces of Gina and Steven. “It is great, right?”

  Gina and Steven nodded their heads and agreed from opposite ends of the couch. “Yes, of course, it is!” Gina continued, “We weren’t sure how supportive you’d be of the idea since it deviated from our original plan of Early staying home with Stevie until he started kindergarten.”

  “It does change the plan,” Roni thought of how she’d have to buy new calendars for everyone, “but this will be great for his social development.”

  “Told you,” Gina whispered to Steven.

  Early clasped his hands together and sat in the middle seat Roni had left vacant. “Thank God, you’re on board.” He mimed wiping sweat from his brow when another thought occurred to him. “Oh, and if I get the job, I can look into new insurance companies that’ll carry my diabetic ass. Gina and I can get divorced!”

  “What?” The happy face Roni wore transitioned into one of displeasure. “You can’t do that.”

  “Why not? There’d be no reason for us to be fake married anymore.”

  “Think about it, Early. Why would you live with Gina if you weren’t married?” Roni asked.

  “She’s got a point,” Gina commented, as Steven nodded his agreement. “Someday we’ll get divorced. I promise.” She smiled up at Roni who still hadn’t taken a seat. “And then we can actually marry the people we want.”

  Roni arched a brow, “Do you really think that’ll ever be a possibility?”

  “Yes, I do,” said Gina.

  Roni shook her head. “Not in this country, babe.”

  For all of Roni’s bubbliness, she was pessimistic when it came to gay issues. It was one of an incredibly small amount of traits that really bothered Gina. “It might take a few more decades, but social change does happen.” She gestured with both hands towards Steven, “Your husband is black!”

  “That’s true.” Steven smiled broadly, “And I own property.”

  Early nudged him playfully. “You can vote too. So can you, ladies.”

  Roni knew that social change was possible, but could not fathom marrying Gina in her lifetime. “You guys are much more optimistic than I am.”

  Gina muttered, not nearly as quiet as she intended to, “What else is new?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Roni asked surprised and annoyed. “I know I’m not as happy-go-lucky as I used to be, but experience has made me a realist. I can’t just forget that we live in the same country where just a few months ago that boy was tortured and beaten to death against a fence because he was gay.”

  “I’m not saying there aren’t bigots out there, Roni. But what they did was a crime, one that sparked outrage in this country. That has to be something?”

  Roni sarcastically chuckled. “Yeah, public outrage over finding one of your beaten and dead corpses would be a real consolation prize. Maybe I could join the military or guard to protect you before that happens? Oh, wait, I can’t. Because if I tell them I’m gay, then I’d get kicked out. Go America,” Roni said bitterly.

  No one. Not even the love of her life and the mother of her godson could get away with badmouthing Gina’s country. “You have no experience outside of this country and don’t appreciate what we have.”

  Steven and Early shared a look of concern. The conversation had turned ugly fast. Steven knew he had to at least try and be a peacemaker. “I think what you both are trying—”

  “Stay out of this, Steven,” both Gina and Roni said forcefully.

  He supposed his diplomacy skills were not wanted. “Well, then. I’ll be downstairs watching TV.”

  Early watched his lover get up and leave the room. No one talked to his man that way. He removed himself from his comfortable spot on the sofa, stood eye to eye with Roni and grabbed her hand, “You. Come with me.” He began to pull her out of the living room.

  Roni put on her brakes. She was not a child who would be forced out of a room. “What? Why?”

  “Because I can see how worked up you are and now Gina’s wearing her ‘I’m mad and quiet’ face. Put those two things together and nothing’s getting resolved anytime soon, so come with me now so we can talk like sensible adults.”

  Roni yanked her hand away from Early’s grasp. “Fine,” she started towards the backdoor of the house, “but I don’t like it. And I don’t know why you didn’t grab your wife’s hand and drag her out.”

  “Because she might break it,” he said under his breath. “And you...” he pointed to Gina, who was now staring at the numbers on her beeper.

  Gina held the device up. “Just got paged. Patrol found my guy. Will you tell Roni I had to go?”

  “It’s almost eight o’clock at night!”

  “I’m aware of the time. Will you tell her?”

  “Sure, I’ll tell her. I’m sure in her current state she’ll handle the news beautifully.” Once Gina grabbed her keys and coat, Early followed Roni’s trail and found her outside pacing and grumbling around their makeshift tee ball home plate.

  An engine started from out front that distracted Roni from her current state of agitation. “You have got to be kidding me,” she said to no one in particular.

  “Gina got paged,” Early confirmed.

  “Seriously?” Roni picked up Stevie’s Wiffle ball and threw it with all her might. The distance it traveled was not impressive.

  Early approached with a smirk and a hug—one that she accepted. “You know, it would be more dramatic if you threw something that had actual weight to it. Now that Gina’s gone, do you want to go back inside? You know, where there’s wine and I’m not freezing my balls off.” Roni nodded against his shoulder and allowed him to lead her into the house.

  At the smaller kitchen table, Early wordlessly slid a generously poured glass of straw-colored wine to Roni. She held the glass by the stem and swirled the drink around, watching the legs form and fall. “I don’t know what happened.”

  “That makes two of us. You were on board with the daycare thing and then flipped when I mentioned divorce. Then you both basically told Steven to ‘shut up’ when he tried to moderate between you and Gina. You should go apologize to him, by the way.”

  “I will.” She continued to stare absently into her glass.

  “Earth to Roni. What is going on with you?”

  She lifted her eyes from the glass to Early’s concerned ones. “I thought it would be easier.”

  “Being fake married? Raising a child? Holding the title of second-in-command to Chief Dumbass?”

  “Mostly the last one. I rarely take stress from home and bring it to work, but I always feel like I bring work stress home. Some days I can shake it off better than others.”

  “Ah.” Early relaxed his shoulders and then smiled. “Well, at least it’s a problem with an easy solution. Quit.”

  Roni smirked before drinking. “You sound like Gina. She’s been telling me to do that for awhile now or however long it’s been since the haircut incident.”

  “Yeah, that was bad,” Early said with a grimace, “and I’m as big a fan as any when it comes to personal image reinvention. On the bright side, we never would have known shoulder length was a good look for you had you not gone al
l Edward Scissorhands with it.”

  “You do always see the glass half-full.”

  “Honey, that’s survival. If I weren’t optimistic, the flaming gay-biracial-diabetic- Southern boy with no Daddy and a pill-popping Mommy would have killed himself a long time ago. Another part of survival is putting yourself first. That’s why I say quit.”

  Roni sighed. “That’s easier said than done. I feel like I’d be giving up on the students and the teachers. I proposed a five-year plan last year and everyone got on board with it, which was a miracle in and of itself. I can’t just leave.”

  Early patted Roni’s hands. “Roni, honey, you are dedicated to a fault. If your goal was to fill a pool, you would do it even if it meant you would die of thirst.” Roni scrunched her face in confusion. “Okay, that was a weird metaphor. But what I am trying to say is that you can put yourself first. You’re suffering. Gina’s suffering.”

  “I wouldn’t know if she’s suffering.”

  Early furrowed his brow. “I don’t understand what you mean by that. How could you not know?” Roni communicated her answer with a pointed look. “Oh. Because she’s not around?”

  “Bingo. And there lies the other issue I’m having.” She sipped at her wine again. “She’s around for Stevie. Heaven forbid she miss a Sunday taking him to church. But she’s not around for me, you know?”

  Early had read about this phenomenon. “Do you have lesbian bed death?”

  “You have always been fascinated by our sex life. Why is that?”

  He grinned and shrugged. “I think it’s neat. Seems squishy. And you totally answered a question with a question!”

  Roni sighed. There was no point in denying anything. “Yes, we have bed death and communication death. Oh,” Roni remembered a key point of aggravation, “and she keeps leaving yellow memos from Jack in her pants pocket. They get everywhere in the washing machine! I’ve told her a hundred times to empty out her pockets.”

  “Have you brought this up to her? You know, other than the laundry bit.” This was why he and Steven did their own laundry.