Ryder (The Razer Series, #1.5)

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Ryder (The Razer Series, #1.5) Page 7

by Sands, K A


  “We’re not talking about it.” Her sudden pronouncement put my back up a bit.

  “Not today, no. But soon, Taylor.”

  A heavy sigh left her lips, hot breath wafting around my neck. “Soon...but not today.” She peeled herself from my arms and grappled for my hand, holding tight when she found purchase. “I told Laura I was out for a few hours. Come on...”

  Tugging me behind her, she opened the door, stepping out. She wasn’t exactly rude as we made our way through the crowded room, but she didn’t stop either, her focus on the stairs ahead.

  Not two minutes later she was shoving a door shut behind us and slipping her hand from mine. The room was dim, blinds partially closed. I couldn’t quite make out the space or who it belonged to. I heard what I presumed was Taylor’s shoes hitting the floor as she softly grunted.

  “Bed...” she mumbled. “Come over.”

  I hadn’t moved from the door, unsure what I should be doing or saying. I could see enough to note Taylor sitting on the edge of a big four poster bed, delicate voile panels drifting from the top of the frame down each post. Filthy images raced through my head and I felt downright ashamed of myself. This wasn’t the time nor the place to be imagining Taylor trussed up in all that decadent material and tied to the headboard while I had my dirty, dirty way with her.

  Oh, that would keep my spank bank going for eons.

  Kicking off my shoes, I lost my jacket, letting it fall to the floor, not caring for its confinement any more nor that it was going to crease. When I moved toward the bed, Taylor was stripping the last of her clothes off and climbing under the covers in her black bra and knickers.

  My dick liked what he saw; always did with this woman, I cursed under my breath as I palmed my crotch through my trousers, willing him to calm down. As we all know - the little head had a mind of its own and listened to no one. I didn’t even try to hide my erection when I stripped down to black boxer briefs. As soon as I slid under those covers and felt her peachy skin against mine, I was going to be a lost cause anyway. There were no lamps on and I found I preferred the semi darkness. I wanted Taylor to rest, forget her grief for a few hours and cuddle in, no matter what my body wanted. It’d been so long since we’d shared a bed together, I relished huddling under those sheets and being whatever it was she needed.

  I climbed in beside my woman and tried to get comfortable, unsure if I should touch or not. She made the decision for me, snuggling into my side, slinging her arm over my stomach. I stared upward, a swathe of light beamed across the lofty, cavernous ceiling synonymous with these big old houses. Taylor’s fingernails scraped dainty patterns around my belly button - my poor dick liked that too.

  Reaching down, I clasped her hand to my skin, halting her dancing fingers. “Stop, Taylor.” I croaked out, want heavy in my voice.

  She shifted closer, her leg moving across the top of my thighs, a pleasant brush of skin across my boxer briefs. No way she didn’t feel how aroused I was when she did that. “You don’t want me?”

  The doubt in her voice almost killed me. How could she think I didn’t want her? She was sending mixed signals but if she wanted me to make her feel good, I had no problem with doing so. “Hey. Don’t talk daft. Always. You know that. You wanted to rest, if you want otherwise, make your intentions clear. I’m on board, whatever you need.” I wiggled around a bit then turned to face her, my hand reaching out to skim across her protruding stomach. “Can I?”

  Using the backs of my fingers, I trailed across the highest part of her bump, her hand covering mine. We traced our unborn baby as one. Emotion overcame me, and I struggled to hold it together, overwhelmed. This was my woman, my child. I could feel however I wanted to feel and if I couldn’t let down my walls completely in front of her there was no hope for us.

  I kissed her lips, an understated peck just because and told her how much I’d missed her too while I kept moving my hand over her stomach.

  “When’s your next appointment? I want to be there. You can’t shut me out. Not with this.” A spark of anger ignited at all I’d missed already, at being excluded.

  “You’re angry.”

  “Not angry as such, no. Not happy either. This...” I tensed my fingers under her hand. “This I should not have been kept in the dark over.”

  “We never talked about kids,” she argued.

  “All the other shit aside, you should have told me, regardless.”

  “Well, it’s a bit late asking you if this is what you wanted, Ryder.”

  I hadn’t wanted children, at least not until Taylor rolled back into my life last year. Then the passing thought needled at me more than I was comfortable with until I couldn’t deny I was desperate to be a father, to have a baby with her. I didn’t know how to put it to her, she seemed content with it being just us.

  “I didn’t, not until recently at least. Before you told me though. I didn’t change my mind because you’re pregnant now.” She shouldn’t have been having doubts about me, about this. I needed her to understand what I was saying. The baby was one hundred percent wanted.

  “I freaked out,” she admitted.

  I could imagine she did, what with all Alexa’s threats running through her head. Self-doubt over something so precious would not have been pretty. Still, she’d shut me out, I was having a hard time pushing that out my head.

  “We do this together. Give me the chance. Let me be the good father you know I could be. I love you, Taylor, but you can’t take this from me. I won’t come back from it.”

  “I have no intention of doing that. I miss you.” She sobbed quietly. “I can’t catch a break, Ryder. I want a quiet life where I don’t have to look over my shoulder anymore. Safe and happy, it’s all I want.”

  I pulled her into me and wrapped her in my arms as she huddled in. “Together, okay. All of it.” I wasn’t letting go of her again. She wanted happy and safe? She would get it, I’d do my damndest to make sure Taylor got what she wanted.

  The top of her head bashed my chin as she moved. “Okay.”

  We lay still for a long time, my head blessedly empty for a change. I ran my hand up and down her back, whispering fingers caressed lightly, soothing her. Gentle kisses pecked my collarbone and I breathed out a heavily satisfied sigh. Taylor’s leg hitched over my hip and she lifted her head seeking out my mouth for a kiss which turned hungry in an instant.

  My erection was back with a vengeance and when Taylor rubbed against me, I whimpered into her mouth, my hands edging up to grip her head. Using her body, she manoeuvred me onto my back and climbed over me, the length of her across me. She never stopped kissing, gentle laps and sips, her mouth exploring mine, her tongue tentative yet commanding.

  I was so fucking lost to her.

  Waves of warmth cascaded up and down my body in time to the slow gyrations of her hips, her body moving as if to a slow symphony.

  Breathless...

  Breathless was how she left me when her lips descended to my neck. There was no stopping the rollercoaster now, she’d set the wheels in motion. Made her intentions clear.

  I cupped her arse with my hands and ground upwards with more force, a harsh moan erupting from her. She made to move downwards but I held her steady, knowing where she was making a beeline for. I stopped her. I loved her sucking me off but couldn’t bring myself to go there right then. I wanted to make love to her, hold her, find deeper meaning in each moment. Make her feel good. This was all about Taylor, not me.

  “Take your underwear off.” I whispered into her ear as I shimmied my hips below her, tucking my thumbs into the waistband of my briefs. The move wasn’t easy with Taylor’s full weight on top and I bucked as she giggled and slid from me. I missed her undressing, too focused on getting my own shit off, so when she climbed back on top, I was fleetingly surprised. She stretched like a content pussy - yes, pun intended - her pot belly evident against my stomach, much like my hard on was more than evident, begging at the junction of her thighs.

  “This
comfortable for you?” I minded my manners even though I had no intention of letting her move away. Not in a million years. She felt too good lying on top of me, skin to skin, this contact had been absent for too long.

  “Mmmhhmm...” she said into the crook of my neck.

  “You’re kinda squishing my fella there,” I teased.

  Her body shook, finding it funny too. She sat up to regard me, her smooth legs coming either side of my hips, so it looked like she was kneeling, her red-hot centre burning a hole into my stomach. My erection was rock hard and slapped against the small of her back as it sprang from under her. I ran my hands along and up her thighs until I held her hips, my eyes drawn to the semi swollen belly before me. Suddenly having sex with Taylor didn’t seem like a good idea, it was terrifying.

  I didn’t want to hurt her. My manhood was not exactly small, what if I poked the baby’s head, squashed her stomach? The thought made me sweat.

  She was looking at me with fiery lust in her beautiful eyes. “What are you thinking, baby?”

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I flexed my fingers into her hips and whinged. “What if I hurt you?”

  She puffed out a low breath when I admitted my thoughts, her hand caressing over my chest, fingers tracing the intricate ink she adored. “You’d never hurt me, Ryder.” I wasn’t so confident, the mechanics of having sex with my pregnant girlfriend, beyond me. “The baby will be fine, I promise. But I won’t be if you don’t do something with what’s poking me in the back.”

  I laughed but still felt like a simpleton when I asked if she was sure. “I’m sure.”

  She slid backwards, lifting upwards so her pussy cradled me, my prick snug between her legs. She was warm and wet, and the heat between us ratcheted higher. Back and forth she rubbed and smeared herself against me, a slow waltz, impossible to ignore.

  Taylor rose on her knees and gripped the base of my engorged arousal, her pussy lips teasing the crown of me. Slowly sinking down, her heat enveloped me, and a shudder rolled through my anxious body, firing my blood. Once she was fully seated on my dick, she leaned forward and scorched my mouth with a kiss so deep it had my body finally moving in all the right ways.

  A slow roll of hips, a tensing of stomach muscles, a flip of a heartbeat.

  I was a happy, happy fucker.

  Taylor took the reins, I made sure to be careful with her, letting her set the pace as subtle moans whispered between us. Smooth tits brushed against my chest, my sensitive nipples hardening between the mash of flesh. There was no better place to be than beneath her hands. I wasn’t gonna last long and I refused to be embarrassed about it. I hadn’t had sex for a while - jacking off didn’t count - and my balls were tightening already, wanting to spill inside Taylor.

  Running my hands over the curves of her arse cheeks, I let Taylor have a few more seconds, a few more rolls of her hips, then I twisted sideways and flipped us over, so I was above her, my length still embedded in her sweet, sweet pussy.

  Auburn hair fanned in stark contrast across white pillows and Taylor’s flushed face was a sight to behold, a red blush travelled across her shoulders and down her chest. My girl was as turned on as me. Leaning forward, I licked at her mouth, moving her thighs around my hips, getting comfortable. Careful not to put too much weight on her tummy.

  “Hold on to the headboard.”

  A shy smile tipped her lips before she lifted her hands to grip at the bars above her head. Yeah, I fucking loved this bed. I made a mental note to buy a similar piece for our place. I was gonna tie her up and hold her down any chance she gave me.

  “Make love to me, baby. Bring me home.”

  “Oh, yeah.” I went up on my knees, still angled inside her, ignoring the need to pound her and claim my woman back. I wanted to touch her, feel her skin beneath my fingertips - worship her.

  Taylor kept the wiggle of her hips constant, still working my length as I trailed my hands across her perfect skin, my fingers tracing a line from her throat right down to her cute belly button. One of my hands cupped her full breast and I squeezed. They looked bigger, most likely with the pregnancy, her nipples puckering when I blew across the extended buds. I lavished her chest with adoring attention she deserved.

  “Please...” she moaned, white knuckles gripping the wood.

  My hands slipped to her hips and I held on, fucked her a little harder with a touch more force, dragging my dick until it was almost out and plunging back in with each arch of her back, each pulse of her heat. Delicious sparks raced across my skin and my heart thudded in time with my deep strokes.

  A decadent beat, a forever beat. A duo beat.

  Using her hands to push from the headboard, Taylor met my thrusts with her own and I knew we’d both be frantic for the finish within minutes.

  Collapsing forward, I took my hands from her, kissing her fully and pushing into her with eagerness, my tongue in tandem with each drive of my hips. Placing my hands over hers on the headboard, I braced myself, ready for the overwhelming onslaught of my impending orgasm.

  “Ry, Ry, Ry...” Taylor chanted, a name she only called me in bed, a name only she used. It spurred me on; I hadn’t lost her, there was still a future to have.

  “You gonna come for me?” My voice was gruff and low, a rumble I barely managed to get out.

  “Yes, yes...” Arching up into me, I grunted at her like an animal, words for me, useless now. “Make me come, baby,” she pleaded.

  Removing a hand from under mine, she reached to clutch at my arse cheek, pulling me downward, as if she couldn’t quite get close enough. Her legs around me tightened, and a keening wail erupted from her mouth as her body locked under mine.

  She was coming, coming strong, quick spasms around my dick, squeezing and triggering my own bout of pleasure. I pumped into her a couple of times, my cum pouring forthwith on the last stroke, marking my territory from the inside out. As rigid above her as she was below me, we both rode out the intensity, eyes locked on one another.

  Reconnecting.

  Rebuilding.

  Falling back into one another.

  Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. She lowered her lashes as if she couldn’t keep the contact. I got it. She blistered me with each look she gave my way, maybe it was the same for her? We’d not drifted so far we couldn’t get back to where we were before. I saw every emotion she tried to hide, every moment she tried not to surrender to. I also saw her laying her heart out for me and silently begging me to claim it, hold it tight - to never let go.

  “Taylor...” I started, unsure exactly which words to say.

  I wanted this woman more than life itself. She was the promise of everything I couldn’t resist, everything I craved. Life was all so right, it fell into place perfectly with her by my side. She didn’t get to run from me again. No excuses.

  I reached up to swipe my thumb over her darkened lips. “Let it go, baby.”

  Taylor burst out crying and burrowed upwards into my chest, I rolled us over, so she was more comfortable. She laid her head on my chest, her body shivering. I groped about for the tossed cover and dragged it over us, cocooning her to me, holding her tightly. I let her cry, expel however many tears she needed to. My woman was still hurting. My mistakes haunting her in the worst way. I understood her confusion and pain, I was afraid too.

  Afraid I’d miss my life if she didn’t walk it with me.

  We clung desperately to one another; no words spoken and drifted off into slumber. All appeared right in the world, locked away in this room with Taylor in my arms. We could shut it all out and stop thinking about others for a while.

  Fourteen

  The next day was no better than the one before. Grief stole breaths, hope lingered around the edges, daring to peek its head up now and again, wondering when it would be safe to reappear. Tentative smiles were exchanged, awkward glances traded, shaky touches offered.

  I didn’t know whether to give it more time or rip the plaster off. The conversation Taylor and I had to have
would be no easier in a few days’ time, or even a week. I wasn’t willing to wait, not willing to spend another day without her. It was time she came home.

  I tossed my laptop into the rucksack Lucca had brought from the hotel this morning, then sat on the bottom of the unmade bed. Lunch had been a sedate affair - shallow and meaningless conversation belied the overshadowed atmosphere as we all tucked into the catered food left over from Emille’s wake.

  Phil looked marginally better, small smiles cracked here and there, and he appeared to have slept some. Both girls were bleary eyed, the odd sniffle would escape but they were holding themselves together remarkably well.

  Fiddling my thumbs, I tried to come up with a way to initiate the inevitable conversation, to come up with the right things to say, to convince her to return. I was at a loss. What was she waiting for? The police had interviewed her, taken her laptop and issued a warrant for Alexa’s arrest. They made it clear to Taylor it was most likely all the official documents were falsified in some way. The DI in charge of the investigation had even gone as far as securing an emergency restraining order in person. Taylor had revealed all of this earlier, when we’d awoken, and I’d tried to start this same conversation. I ended up being irritated she hadn’t called me for the interviews, I would’ve come up, offered support she clearly needed. It was by the by now, what was done was done so I let my anger go and focused on saying the right things to get her to come home.

  When Taylor entered the room, she let the door fall shut behind her, the muted click loud in the silent room. Crossing the room, she sat down next to me, putting her hand on my knee and letting her head drop to my shoulder. I tucked my pinkie into hers and held fast, the contact settling down my nerves.

  I was all spit, fire and fucking ego for the most part, but it didn’t wash with this woman, I had to check my shit at the door because she sure as hell called me on it. She was the only one I toned it down for, the only one that got all of me. There I was, sitting on a pink flowery bed, about to show her my soft underbelly even Lucca didn’t get to see, and was shitting myself like an insecure teenager waiting on his first date to arrive. My dark vulnerabilities were hidden well but the compulsion to bare all to Taylor was an easy decision.

 

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