Fallen Warrior (Fallen Trilogy book 3)

by Williams, Tess

  "I was, yes," I answered.

  She inched her eyes tight, then glanced behind her where the chamber was being cleared out. "I have to meet with some of the Warriors, but would... would you wait for me?" she asked.

  I blinked, uncertain whether I was hearing all of this right. She went on.

  "I know I've been acting strangely. I'm sorry. Will you wait for me?" she repeated.

  I felt a knot in my throat, that I barely kept from turning audible. "Yes," I answered.

  She smiled. But then it vanished to a frown as she looked back into the chamber, and then around us. "Has Minstrel gone already?" she asked.

  I gathered that she was concerned with what was to be done with me. I nodded.

  Her frown deepened.

  "I can wait here," I said, "or... near here, on that last platform."

  "You'll freeze," she argued.

  I shook my head. "I like the cold. These robes are warmer than they look. I'll wait."

  She looked me up and down, then nodded. "Alright. If you're sure then. It might take a while..."

  I just stood still, resisting the urge to tell her once again that I would wait, that I would wait if it took forever.

  She turned after that and went back inside the Warrior's Chamber. Almost as soon as she had, a guard came to stand post and the door was shut behind him. I made my way—with a single distant torch to lead me—to the nearest platform, which was a small one we'd passed coming in. It was so cold, with the wind especially, that I couldn't think properly while I waited.

  So I didn't even realize until I'd heard voices and figures had started shuffling past the adjoining bridge (out of the Warriors Chamber), I didn't even realize that I hadn't considered how I would hide my night-blindness for her. She was standing before me in the next moment, beside the torch I'd been waiting next to.

  She looked behind her, then back at me, then said something that I would have frozen a hundred times over to hear. "It'll be warmer back in my room."

  It was sort of a question. I could only manage a nod.

  .

  "But yes, it's called endless fire, and it'll stay lit like that. Remember how I explained that the Yanartian fires aren't magic? Well, this one is. Don't open the bottle though. Just hold it." Ellia frowned, pressing her lips tight together. "You really should have just gone back down to your room. I would have found you."

  And miss the chance to sit beside her on her bed? Was she deranged, or did she really think that any man (let alone Cyric Dracla) would have preferred not to wait?

  Her cabin was small. Hence the reason we sat on her bed—there was nowhere else to sit. To one side was a blocked up window. In between the bed and most the rest of the room, was a wall of shelves that were empty enough to see clearly through. Behind them was a table on the floor, more shelves, and a makeshift kitchen was set up nearer to the bed. This had a dual-purpose to warm the cabin; there were enough candles to keep me seeing comfortably; otherwise there were some different hanging odds and ends; feathers, wind-chimes, dream-catchers. And a small bottle of fire had been sitting out beside her bed before she'd handed it to me. Now I was holding it tight in my palm as she'd instructed.

  "You would have found me?" I said, repeating her words; sounding as incredulous as I felt, but successful maintaining a light tone at the same time.

  "Yes well... I told you that I wanted to talk to you, didn't I?"

  I glanced up at her. One of her feet was tucked up onto the bed, so that she could face me, while both of mine were on the ground.

  To be honest, as much as anything, I was resisting the desire to chide her for allowing someone she'd known for so short a time into such a position. She'd been on Yanartas too long; she never would have done this sort of thing back in Uldin Keep. Not unless— Well... not unless it was with me.

  "Look, I know I already said so, but I'll apologize again. I was rude earlier. It wasn't your fault. One of my friends..." She sighed, then blinked up at me. "You remember when you asked me whether I was friends with Nain of Karatel or not?"

  I swallowed, still recalling her glare, and how I hadn't understood what caused it.

  I gave her a nod.

  "And I got upset?" she went on.

  I nodded again.

  "Don't go on this whole time without talking, Cole. It will make it harder."

  "I'm sorry," I corrected quickly. "Yes. I remember. I didn't mean to upset you."

  "I know you didn't," she said in a huff. "I mean, I'm sure you didn't. It shouldn't have. But it did. Because Nain. He isn't just my friend. He's..."

  I waited patiently. Then after a few seconds, I started thinking about seeing Nain in the Warrior's Chamber, how strange it had been, since the last time I'd seen him we'd been at the base of the behemoth's cavern in Akadia, and I'd been, well, different. Nain on the other hand was the same, princely prince, and I didn't like her hesitation.

  "He's married isn't he?" I prodded, sounding unintentionally pointed.

  "What?" Ellia asked, looking up from where she'd been fiddling her fingers. She narrowed. "Oh, no. You've got it wrong. I mean, he is married. But that's not what I meant to imply. Though, it sort of..." She took a great breath, then huffed. "My country, it's all in pieces, Cole. Of course you know that. You must know that. But it wasn't always. It wasn't even that long ago. And when I left it, when I was taken, when I was taken to Akadia, I wasn't alone." She said all of this in a rush.

  In my head, it was thinking of replying something like, "Oh, you weren't alone? Doesn't that make sense? Wouldn't there have been a lot of your countrymen with you?" And this all, in a casual tone. But my pulse had kick-started, my ears were ringing, and the bottle in my hand must have been made out of some very strong glass to resist the squeeze I'd just given it.

  Was she really going to talk to me about Cyric? About... me. Is that what this was?

  "A lot of things happened," she went on, swallowing, then tilting her head, "but what you should know, what I'd like you to know, what I want you to hear from me before someone else goes on and tells you and then you hear it all wrong, is that there was a man, and he wasn't Akadian. He was from Shaundakul. He was my—" She blinked, and looked down, then looked up. "He wasn't evil," she emphasized. "And he's gone now, so it doesn't matter, but before he died, he did good things. He did good things to help fight Akadia, and he did them for me."

  Breathing; it was a hard thing to do. Not breathing so hard that she would be able to tell everything? Even harder. I felt so close to losing all ability to being able to hide it, to being discovered, that for a few seconds, it was real in my head. Just Cyric sitting here with just Ellia. Like this.

  It was a nightmare.

  What did she mean by "so it doesn't matter" What didn't matter? "And he's gone now, so it doesn't matter." If it didn't matter so much than why was she telling me about it? Why did she say I wasn't evil? Why did she kiss me all those times? Why did the fact that she knew I did those things for her not mean it mattered?

  "Nothing will ever be more important to me than he was," Ellia said, landing her eyes on mine—her voice filled with conviction—sending my mind into a backwards spiral from all the places it had just gone. "I think you should know that, because... I don't want you to think that I could ever..." she cleared her throat, and blinked clearly at me. "As you said, with Nain. As it is between Lucian and Estrid." Her lips tipped to an awkward smile. "I'm probably wrong, aren't I? About what you might...? But it's my own fault for touching you, and I didn't want you to ever think that it was because... well, I just mean that I like your robes. I think it's admirable that you wear them, for your country, and everything. I know we don't know each other very well, but that sort of thing is very meaningful to me. I don't understand everything about it, as far as it has to do with Kanth, but you could tell me if you wanted. But I'm wandering off, and what I meant to say was that I didn't want you to ever think that it was because your hands are scarred. I don't think any person would care about that
sort of thing. So... Anyways," she said, her cheeks turning red. "That's why I was upset earlier on, because one of my friends thought you might be important to me in such a way, but you can't be. And as for Nain, it is that he was imprisoned in Akadia until just a little while ago. My friend saved him for me—before he died. He saved Nain, and he freed the Behemoths. You'll hear about it sooner or later, if you haven't already. He was an Akadian Lieutenant, but like I've said, he was from Shaundakul before that, and he wasn't evil. No one ever understood him properly." She shook her head back and forth. "But I was always right about him..... So if it has to do with Nain, or the behemoths, don't ask me if they're important. I'll just get angry with you. I won't be able to help it. There's nothing more important to me."

  There was that time in the tent back near Karatel, where Ellia had gone on very suddenly about whether Shaundakul had appreciated me or not, how she loved me just as much as it, then there was that time shortly afterwards, where she'd gone on about me carrying her everywhere, and how she'd always supposed I enjoyed it. Now there was this time. And when she did this, I didn't really know how to respond. It was easier as Cyric—when I had so much power to dismiss her. But Cole was powerless, and I didn't want to dismiss her anymore anyways. I wanted to respond to match her; as she would want me to.

  But I couldn't think when she said such things. And they made me feel so much, that I couldn't tell much of what was going on in reality any longer. Her words were my reality; my thoughts, and heart and feelings fell in time with them, until she was the only thing real.

  "Has this all made sense, Cole?" Ellia asked me.

  I blinked staring at her, not that I hadn't been already.

  "I wanted you to know before... in case I didn't see you again for a while. I hope it hasn't been too much; I don't know how to be friends except to say everything."

  She shook her head, lifting one brow. "I don't have many friends," she added lightly.

  Then she looked at me again. Her easy expression slowly fell to a frown. "Cole?"

  "Yes?" I said, then, "No. No, it's not too much." I forced a scoff. "You talk about me forgetting you're a princess. —Maybe you don't guess how privileged a Kanthian is to get to be around you. The princess of Shaundakul— it's not the same as any other title, is it? I think that the way you do anything would be the better way. Isn't that obvious?"

  Ellia considered me with wide eyes while I spoke, and then she smiled. "I like so much the things you say, Cole. It's hard to believe they don't have royalty back in Kanth, when I don't think anyone's ever made me feel so much like a princess."

  My mind was still on overload. My hand was still gripping the poor Echrian bottle. But if this was her response, I'd said the right thing, I thought.

  Ellia cleared her throat, and then she touched her head. "Do you know that my crown only shows this jewel there for me. That's how it's proven that I am the princess of Shaundakul. Before that, well," she laughed a little. "When I first came here, they didn't even believe me."

  I frowned watching her, reminded again of Minstrel's tales. "That's rather foolish," I stated simply.

  Ellia grinned. And then we only talked a little longer before she sent me back down to the lower complex.

  ELLIA:

  I'd just finished changing into a nightgown and now I was unbraiding my hair. I stood near the furnace to keep warm, frowning a little at myself. I hadn't meant to say so much to Cole. Thinking back, I couldn't even recall how much I'd told him. I'd only meant to explain about the behemoths and Nain; I hadn't even been sure that I would explain about Cyric at all. I couldn't even think why I would have said so much as I did. It wasn't as if I spoke of Cyric to everyone else. Even Minstrel and I... we hadn't discussed Cyric except in a roundabout way since he'd died...

  And why had I even mentioned about his scars and everything. When had he ever expressed such an interest in me? Certainly as the princess, it was something that could always be assumed, but that didn't make it polite....

  The end result though, was that I didn't regret much of what I'd said. Or at least, Cole hadn't made me feel awkward about it. I was glad that I wouldn't have to worry about him expecting something anyways now; which settled the concerns Gael had put forward.

  Nothing would ever take Cyric's place. That wouldn't change no matter how many friends I made.

  I heard a knock on my door. Just one loud one, so that I wasn't sure at first that it wasn't just the wind. Especially for how late it was. But then it came again, this time repeated a handful of times.

  I frowned at the state of my hair, left it hanging over my shoulder then went to open the door. I paused before I touched the handle, asking Luffie if she knew who it was. When she responded drowsily that she was in no state to know, I bit my lip, hoping it was someone about the meeting, and not Gael.

  But when I opened the door just a crack and peeked my head through, it wasn't any of my guesses. It was Cole again.

  He was standing, his arms strained tensely at his sides, and I could see his eyes well enough in the light from my room. Given the awkward situation, I expected them to trail downwards, or for him to give some sign at least, that I'd already changed, but they didn't. They only stayed put on my eyes.

  "Is something wrong?" I asked.

  His head jerked up, not gently. "What did you mean you had to tell me all of that in case you didn't see me again?"

  I swallowed, blinking and rearing my head back. "I didn't..."

  He started at my expression. And then to my shock, he pushed past me, shutting the door behind him, and then taking my wrist, meeting my eyes directly. "You'll tell me," he ordered.

  I looked between his body and mine, then to his hand, which made my chest rise, then back up at him. "What is it that you think you're doing? You can't just come in here. I'm not—"

  "I don't care what you're wearing," he said, "tell me what you meant." His eyes narrowed, his fingers tightened. "Are you leaving?" he asked, voice cracking.

  I looked down at his hand again. It was just the same as when I'd first touched him. It felt the same touching Cyric. It was so foolish. Since, he was the only one I ever touched, I was sure that was the reason. But now it seemed too strange after all, since Cyric so often held my wrist in such away. These thoughts were not ones I wanted to be having now. I felt weak when I looked up at Cole. "I can't tell you anything."

  "You will tell me," he argued. "It's not fair if you don't. Please."

  "I don't understand what you mean at all."

  "Ellia."

  My breath caught. I was sure he'd never called me this, but he didn't pause to react.

  "Tell me," he repeated.

  "Let go of me," I demanded.

  "Fine. But I'm not leaving, until—"

  I'd pulled my wrist away, now I was rubbing it. I interrupted him. "I'm going to Karatel, alright? You don't have to order me about, I would have told you."

  "Karatel?" he repeated. Then his voice turned angry. "Akadia holds Karatel. You can't go there."

  "Of course I can if the point's to attack it. Do you know we're in a war at all, or not?" I was still breathing heavy. Still favoring my wrist.

  "You told me there wouldn't be any sudden attacks," he accused.

  "For you. For the ground forces," I defended. I felt Luffie's presence at the back of my mind, and scowled at Cole. "Now, look, you've woken Luffie. You're the most simpleminded sort, Cole."

  "You can't attack Karatel on your own. What are you thinking?"

  "Of course I won't be on my own. The other Warriors—"

  "That's not enough," he argued. "Is that what you were meeting about tonight? Why would you attack Karatel without the whole army?"

  "Because we don't need the whole army to take it back," I stuttered out, hardly believing that I was telling him all this. If Lucian found out I had... I sent Luffie a warning not to share the information, along with proddings that she stay up on the mountain, that I was safe enough. "You're so very lucky that I trust you
, Cole, or Luffie will have eaten you by now."

  "You do need the whole army," he argued, assuredly. "Akadia has too many soldiers."

  "How would you know how many soldiers Akadia has one way or the other?" I challenged, and seeing him duck back straight-away, I went on. "We know what we're doing. Karatel has hardly a portion of the Akadian forces in it. Surprise will work better than numbers. Whereas if we took the time to gather everyone across the ocean, Lox might move enough men there to stop us. It's better we fight Akadia's army in parts..." I frowned, seeing he'd gone very still. "Lox is Akadia's high commander," I explained, in case he didn't know. There was no telling with Cole.

  "It's too dangerous," he said, with a sort of strain, that made it seem as if he was trying not to say the words.

  "Cole," I stressed reassuringly, "We're Cirali Warriors. We know what we're doing; it's not a suicide mission...."

  I paused, watching him as he stood tense, tightening then untightening his fists. I didn't think then that I was wrong at all to guess that he had expected something from me. Or was it something else...

  "Are you angry you're not going?" I asked.

  "Of course I am!" he exploded. "Why do you think I came to Yanartas in the first place? Now you're going to go to Akadia to fight without—" he cut off, moving his eyes to and from me, then turning to pace.

  I swallowed, realizing the crux of the problem now. It didn't have to do with me at all. It was Akadia he wanted revenge on, and that was something I understood. I'd been rather self-centered, hadn't I? Going on about Cyric, and then affections, when Cole had his own problems. "Cole, I'm sorry," I said, "The truth is that no one was supposed to know about this. Even most of the Warriors aren't going to be told until tomorrow, just to keep it a secret. I shouldn't have told you."

  "Tomorrow?" he echoed. "Does that mean?..." His voice cut out; he'd turned back to look at me, seeming so very tall and foreboding; I wished I were wearing my Warrior's uniform and my sword not a nightgown. In fact, for the first time I could think for weeks I wished I were wearing a dress, with high slippers, and my hair ornately braided.