Fallen Warrior (Fallen Trilogy book 3)

by Williams, Tess

  "If you could just tell my family, we'll go to—"

  "I don't want to know where you're going!" I shouted at him. "If you tell me, I'll tell Lox."

  "It's the home of our commander," he went on quickly. "It's far from here. Please, just tell my wife that. She'll know what it means. Please, warn her to leave."

  I turned to glare at him; my body shaking, thinking that I would kill him after all. But he only stood there long enough to meet my gaze, then he ducked down the steps. I heard as he descended them. I stared after with my heart pounding, and ears ringing.

  Then I took Jaxom's sword, and threw it at the wall with such a loud cry that Tosch responded with another whinny. I kicked the trunk so that it fell to its side. Then I went to the stairs to descend them—where I still had to finish the job of making sure that Raand kept his word.

  #

  The rest that happened, was much clearer to think of now than it even had been then—when my single thought had been to get them gone, then go meet the army in Karatel, where I could get to Lox and help him fight. They'd gathered their things quickly, then taken their horses; I'd buried their armor, and gotten rid of all signs of them—as Lox had asked me to. Then I'd rode on to Karatel, I'd told Lox that they wouldn't bother him any longer, much the same as I'd told him Ellia wouldn't. Then he'd made me Lieutenant and I'd fought. Only to see Ellia there, fighting against me. I'd been so angry when I saw her; I'd felt absolutely sure it was her fault I couldn't kill the Lieutenants as I'd wanted to. Hers, and Shaundakul's, and my father's. So I'd made sure she knew how much I hated it, and that she would hate me; I didn't want her to come near me ever again. I wanted to forget about Shaundakul, just like I would forget I hadn't killed Raand and Jaxom—all those things that kept me from being great.

  And I had, all but twice. Once to warn Raand's wife, who subsequently left Akadia, along with Jaxom's family, and the family of the councilman. And once when Veera had told me the night of the palace explosion—just before the party—that Lox had lied to me about the letters. But I really had already known that (or at least part of me had), that's why I hadn't been able to be angry at him—because I'd lied to him as well. I'd never killed the Lieutenants. And I'd really convinced myself at that point, that it wasn't a wrong thing for him to do, even if the letters were fake—because he was doing what was best for Akadia. Because a few deaths for the good of everyone was worth it. Only I was weak, because I couldn't handle murdering people. This was proved false of course, when I'd realized how evil he was—or at least the first part was. But by then the Lieutenants had been something of the past, and they'd never come back haunt me.

  Not until I'd seen Tarful's face lit by fire in the chamber of stars—taken in his uniform, been reminded of Tongon, then inevitably told that Genbu was his homeland. Raand had been right about one thing; it was certainly far, and it was no wonder I'd never heard from them again. I'd even thought I might make it through this night, that Ellia might make it, without ever seeing them or hearing of them; maybe they weren't even here anymore! But they were. I was looking right at them. And I knew I should have known better than to hope they wouldn't be here.

  "Cole," Ellia said, "Cole? You're not meant to be in here."

  She took my hand and I looked towards her, catching the light of her eyes and her hair, and everything; she was so bright, just seeing her, after remembering how much darkness I'd been in for so long, I could hardly breathe.

  She dipped her brows a little bit and started to turn her head in the direction I'd been looking. Before she could, I caught her cheek with my hand, and moved her back to look at me. "Ellia, you can't stay here. Please, you can't stay here."

  "What?" she asked, then replied lightly, blinking, "What do you mean? The meeting's about to start." For the first time, I was aware of those around us besides just Raand and Jaxom. More had entered; in fact the room outside looked almost abandoned.

  "Then let me stay," I said, looking back from Raand. "Please let me stay."

  "But... Cole you can't. Didn't you hear Tarful? He said you weren't allowed. You can wait in the hall though. I don't think it should be very long—"

  "No," I argued, my voice breaking with strain. "You have to let me stay."

  "Cole," Her eyes widened to something livid. She pushed my hand off of her cheek, taking a step back from me, looking over those nearest to us.

  Tarful was there, beside Raand now, speaking with him, and even gesturing towards Ellia.

  I looked back at her, to warn her somehow, but she was gone. She'd gone out towards the other room. I was glad, just that distance was being put between her and Raand and Jaxom; and I even hoped that she might be listening to me. I chased after her, entering to the next room to see it was empty besides a simple serving woman. I came up close behind Ellia, but I'd only just reached to touch her, when she turned sharp around to face me.

  "Now you'll wait for me here," she said, speaking in a voice much too light for the situation. "It's closer than you were before. You should be happy."

  "What? No. I want to stay with you."

  "Cole, stop it, just stop. You're not listening."

  "I only want to stay with you," I argued. "I'm your guardsman, they should let me stay. Please."

  "No." She took a step back from me, her eyes narrowed, and angry. Then her gaze shifted and I heard a voice behind me.

  "We're ready for you, princess," Tarful said, then paused. "Will you need a moment?" he asked.

  Ellia blinked, then she turned her eyes back on mine. They were more hurt now than angry. "No, I'm ready," she answered. Then she only walked around me. I hardly kept back from groaning as she passed, and I immediately spun to watch her go. They'd made it through the door by then, and she had Tarful's arm, but she dipped her head down, then looked back to glance at me.

  It was the last thing I saw before the door closed from within.

  ELLIA:

  "So if we don't join to fight against Akadia," Kurma, the mediator of the table, said, "Then the Echrians won't fight either?"

  "Not just us," Tarful replied. "Our Black Tortoises. That's more what it has to do with."

  He could say this, not because I'd told him before the meeting, but because it had gone on so long already, that he was only repeating what I'd already said. Everyone at the table reflected this, sunk down in their seats, or some more intense than they'd begun, as if the talking had only compounded their strong opinion. Genbuans, it seemed clear, as a whole, had brownish hair, and colorless skin; like a greyed-out sort of a color that you couldn't tell if it were tanned or not. They all matched this well; out of everyone present, mine was the only pale hair.

  From the start of the meeting, I'd not been as hopeful as I would have liked. I'd tried to be; and it should have been easy, since, seeing Tarful had filled me with such great delight. But then Cole had gone on to behave so strangely, and I couldn't ignore how dramatically it affected me. It almost bothered me worse to think that it affected me even past hearing about Cyric from Tarful. But then I also felt guilty for thinking that, for Cole's sake, since he had to, so often, put up with being overshadowed by Cyric. I wished he'd not kissed me, especially, just before I was meant to see the rulers. Now I could hardly keep my thoughts where they should be. And I felt prematurely exhausted.

  "Yes, it must be the Black Tortoises," I clarified, taking a breath, sitting upright. "I can say, since I've personally been there when the others agree, that they consult their constellation animals themselves about it. Especially in Echren, which seems most to resemble your beliefs; it was all up to the Vermillion Birds."

  "Hold, a second," one of the Genbuans said. "What are the Constellation Animals again?"

  A man beside him sighed, and went on to explain it, but Kurma, spoke on in response to me. "What you might have heard of our beliefs thus far are from the Vishnuites, but honestly... I'm not sure that we've ever consulted our tortoises about anything. It's not as if we can speak with them."

  "Tongon
alluded of that to me," I countered, but seeing Kurma's expression I tried another route, "But... well haven't we just been speaking of how well they can fight?" I asked.

  "Oh no, they can't fight," a younger man replied.

  "Mali, don't be confusing," a woman retorted. She looked at me. I thought I recalled her name as Sheeta. We'd started the meeting with introductions, but altogether there were something like twenty at the table, most of them equal leaders of Genbu, and thanks to Cole I'd missed many of them. The only reason I could tell Sheeta so well was because she was the only woman. "The Tortoises don't fight," she explained to me. "They assist us in battle, by the instruments they carry. Have you ever heard of siege weapons? Catapults, and battering rams and things. They hold these upon their backs."

  "But we haven't had to use those things in generations," another man added; I didn't remember his name, but he was in perhaps his mid-thirties, and he spoke often for the Vishnuites behalf. "Do we even know if the Tortoises could still use them?"

  "We might have forgotten ourselves how a battle is fought," Sheeta replied, "But the Tortoises haven't. There are some still alive that had gone on great battles, aren't there? How long do they live?"

  "Oh, hundreds of years," Mali mentioned.

  "Yes, yes," Kurma interrupted. "We know the Tortoises will be useful in battle. Especially against Akadia. But we've still got to decide whether we will go, or not."

  Someone else went on to reply, while I thought of speaking with Cole about what the Tortoises would be able to do. This wasn't the first time someone had mentioned their ability to carry siege weapons throughout the meeting. And the first time, I'd had the strongest urge to go out and tell him about it; it was so simple, after all—and when we'd been coming up with the most extravagant ideas. The truth was, that I'd wanted Cole to remain as badly as he'd asked to; probably more so. Did he think I didn't understand why he wanted to? He was so foolish. He was stronger than me, and it was as if he forgot all the time.

  "Tongon told me how my ancestors came to Genbu generations ago," I said, breaking into their conversation just when it seemed best. "You've gifts from us, and we're bonded as keepers of the Constellation Animals." Everyone grew quiet to watch me; I'd spoken already to beseech them, but every time I did, it seemed to convince more of them on to fighting against Akadia, so I repeated it periodically. I was beginning to think Tarful had been right when he said the Genbuans hadn't fought a war in too long; they didn't mind taking their time about anything. "Akadia is evil," I went on," It's everyone's responsibility to stop them. They've citizens of countries all over the lands trapped within."

  "Not our country," someone commented.

  Tarful, just across from me, scoffed loud and hard. "Because they didn't invade Genbu you think that? You know well, that I was there, and I wasn't the only one. It was a miracle I was let out. And there are more of our countrymen."

  "Who joined by choice," one said.

  "Before Akadia fell under a tyrant," Tarful countered.

  "What's it matter what way Akadia became how it is," a man two seats down from Tarful pointed out. "It's that way now. And as the princess, says, it has to be stopped." Everyone paid attention when he spoke. His name was Portos, I thought, while the man just beside him was called Tox. Apparently, they had studied something of Akadia's military strategies—so they spoke up whenever it had to do with attacking the city. But the other one, who was older, had said much less, and every time after the younger spoke, he looked at Tox, as if for approval on his words. He did so now, but Tox was hardly paying him attention; he was just clipping his thumb against the stone table, looking bored, if not bothered to be present.

  "The question is, is it our responsibility?" Kurma posed to the group, seeming intent to launch a fresh chain of arguments that made me look to the door of the chamber, thinking of asking for a break of a few minutes, if not a break for the whole night. If I did, perhaps I could request from Tarful again if Cole could come next time. I'd been silly before, hadn't I? Just agreeing to it. There were so many people here; why couldn't Cole come?

  Luckily though, Tarful spoke up to interrupt the next responses. "It's a simple thing," he said. "Akadia is too powerful, and it's being led by a lunatic. We're in an ideal position to help fight against it, since, our approval will ensure the Echrians' as well. We only need to decide whether we will or won't. The Tortoises, Tongon has already informed us, will stand by our side. That should be enough for the Echrians. I for one, believe for going with the Yanartians."

  "Well, of course you do, Tarful. You've a stake in it. That's the only reason you're here."

  "I'm here, because of the help I can assist with my knowledge of Akadia," he corrected calmly. "As are Portos and Tox, and I think they agree with me about what should be done."

  Everyone looked to the two, for their responses, more out of courtesy, it seemed, than anything; which the Genbuans always appeared to have time for.

  Portos looked straight off to Tox; Tox was still watching his hand. He looked up calmly, then gave a short nod, before looking back down, and beginning his clipping again. I absently noticed Portos give a matching, more enthusiastic nod, but my gaze had gotten stuck on Tox's hand. Half out of boredom, since, it didn't seem Tarful's argument had sparked any sort of finality of decision. It had only made someone else counter than neither Tox nor Portos were leaders to decide what should be fought or shouldn't. —But only half out of boredom, because I realized for the first time that it wasn't Tox's nail that he was tapping to the stone; it was something inside of his hand, grey and marble looking. It must have been very small. As Kurma posed a question to him, as to the numbers of Akadia's army (which I'd already given twice) he flipped the thing around in his fingers.

  It was the strangest thing then, as if I were going quite mad, because it looked exactly the same as the markers we used for strategizing in Shaundakul. I remembered well, being back in the war meetings, even before the battle with the goblins, paying close attention to General Vossler as he slid those army men across the map. Or there were ones of dragons we had, or arrow men; this looked to be one of the regular infantry.

  "Say," I said, interrupting the whole of the group. Everyone stopped there talking, as they always had thus far, to look at me.

  I swallowed, blinking my expression normal, then clearing my throat. "I only wondered... You said you're you weren't from here, didn't you Tox?" I addressed him directly. It might have been a strange thing to ask, but I didn't want to sound even more odd, in any case, figurines like that were just a common thing, though I doubted it. Anyways, it was especially strange, even then when he ceased instantly to tap it. Then the rest of the table looked at him as if holding their breaths. Especially Portos, just beside him.

  He shook his head once, casually. "No.... But I assure you, princess, I'm trustworthy."

  "Oh, it's not that," I deferred; bothered by the notion that he could think that's what I'd thought. "I only meant..." I hesitated, aware of everyone's attention. But then I was so certain, I gestured to his hand. "I only wondered about that, that you're holding. Is that from your homeland?"

  He narrowed, then lifted his hand up, turning it over, and revealing the figurine. It made me frown, I was so certain then.

  "What? But Tox is always fiddling with that thing," someone said. Mali, I thought. "Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Is it bothering you, princess? I think we've gotten used to it."

  Kurma laughed. "Perhaps we've all been at this too long, if we'd gone on to speak of Tox's habits."

  "It's meaningful for you then," I prodded, "I'm sorry, but you didn't answer. Is it from your homeland, after all?"

  Everyone went quiet again, watching between me and Tox.

  He shook his head.

  "Would you mind if I asked about it then?" I said, trying to sound light, for I'd begun to get this rather suspicious sort of sensation. It couldn't help but seem that everyone was trying to keep something from me. They grew silent at the strangest moments, and
all at once. Then would go on arguing all at once. I wanted to be sure to get the truth about this, so I didn't want to divulge what I knew about it.

  Still now though, everyone seemed as curious as me to see what Tox's response would be—as if they truly didn't know the answer. He glanced around, then lastly set his eyes on the figurine. His gaze seemed to go distant, watching it, then he rolled it back inside his hand. "I got it from a man," he answered, "Not one I knew well. But he saved my life. And the life of my family." He blinked steadily at me. "I keep it for his sake.... But I'm sorry, if it was bothering you. I can put it away."

  "No," I argued quickly, "No. Actually, I'd rather ask you who you got it from."

  Tox narrowed, darker than ever. I narrowed, as well confused.

  He sputtered. "I—"

  "I recognize it, you see. From Shaundakul. If it was one of my countrymen who helped you, I should like to know. When did it happen?"

  Tox begun to stutter again, this time hiding the figurine beneath his hand.

  Everyone was staring at him in the strangest way, half curiosity, half fear. Then there was Tarful, his brow low, looking as grim as can be.

  "Look, what's going on?" I asked. "I can tell you're all acting strangely. Is it that someone from Shaundakul was here? I don't see how we're all supposed to come to terms if you're not being honest."

  "It's nothing to do with the subject of our meeting," Kurma said. "Let's move on." He held his hands out then, in front of him, across the table, then clapped them twice. But if this was meant to be some sort of distractive gesture, I wasn't going to be paying it heed.

  "I will not move on," I argued. "I know that figurine, I tell you. It's something from Shaundakul, from our special war-meetings, and not just anyone could have had it."

  They didn't know. Oh, they didn't know how close I was to standing tall and crying out. And then who would come but Cole, and then... well, they would be sorry, wouldn't they. I was just tired of it; I was simply tired. The Constellations Animals. These silly people, with their silly myths, and then half of them not knowing them. I was tired even of the thoughts of creating my own arguments, for my people. I was tired with the thought of whether we could save my people, or defeat Akadia or not. I was tired of not even knowing how many of them were left alive. What had Lox said to me? I've sent them belowground? I've sent more than half of them belowground? I was tired of being afraid. I was tired, so tired of missing Cyric. I felt like I would die I missed him so dearly. Seeing Tarful hadn't helped; it had wrenched my soul. I could remember only a little of the strength I'd gained hearing of what Cyric had done in Akadia. He was so brave. But I'd been too long without him; I couldn't remember how to be a princess any longer. I just wanted to call out, and have Cole come, and go back to the star chamber with him, and have him kiss me again, for that had been the only time for seconds that I had remembered what it was to feel well. Or I wanted to tell him that I would look at his face, even knowing all it meant. That I could bear it, and that I didn't think there was anything more left in these lands that I would want to see. I didn't want to need revenge on Akadia, or to hate Lox any longer. I wanted to pretend that I'd never known Shaundakul, or Ellia Solidor, or Cyric Dracla, or any of it.