Fallen Warrior (Fallen Trilogy book 3)

by Williams, Tess

  I blinked. He really was, still very too excited about all of this. "Cole, do they philosophize very often, in Kanth?"

  In a sudden rush, he laughed, and dropped clear back against the tree. Against the wet tree, his hands going up and then crossing, both his legs kicking out, and then himself relaxing entirely.

  It was a strange thing for me, since... in part, I wanted to frown for him, imagining he'd spent too long riding, and now his mind had gone away. But on the other part, I wanted to slide in there beside him, and absorb this peacefulness he'd found, and I heard what he spoke about Shaundakul and the granted animals and all of this, and I wanted not to understand, but a part of me did, for it felt such a familiar and hopeful thing. There wasn't much to be sad about in his theory, since it meant, whether you were given much or little, you could still be great in all the ways that mattered.

  I wanted to slide in beside him, but I only stayed very still watching, my legs still crossed, when he said suddenly, in a sigh, "What do you think in this case of a peasant that becomes a king? Or at least, very near to one. Don't you think that's pretty great, Ellia?"

  He peeked an eye to me. His hands had gone back behind his head now. He really didn't ever behave as one so modest to have lived their whole life covered by robes.

  I watched him longer. Then all at once, it seemed, I decided I liked his theory, terribly much. I wasn't sure, how much he'd thought it through in regards to Cyric, but knowing Cole, it might well have been a fair bit. "I think that's very great, Cole," I replied.

  Then I decided that I would add, even upon the thing about rocks and the sparkling within them, something like Cole's theory to the beliefs of Shaundakul. They fit in well together anyways. Since, both meant that whatever there was on the surface there, there was something deeper within the heart of things, which could be beautiful.

  #

  "Say, Ellia, what did you mean about your father wanting you to marry a Warlord?" Cole asked, one night, when we'd already laid out our mats for sleeping, when the horses had already been tethered up near a pool (where the ivoronsu had succeeded in teaching Fauna to stretch out to the ground for sleeping), when the trees were growing thicker for nearing Shaundakul, and where the sky was clear for the first night—so that the blackness and stars could be seen a little through the treetops, far above.

  It was from there, that I looked back down at Cole, over the bright fire almost between us.

  I shrugged casually, holding onto the toes of my boots as I was. "I mean just that... that he wanted me to marry one." I giggled. "Have you remembered that this whole time?"

  "Of course, I've remembered," he deterred, and in that tone that made me clamp my mouth, for how obvious he made it that he should find great interest in me always though I should never let him find the greatest sort, "It was only two days ago, you said it."

  "But it was only in passing."

  "I remembered."

  "Have you been thinking of bringing it up this whole time?"

  He scowled at me, so much as anyone, with only their eyes to show could. His horse, no Minstrel's horse (I kept having to correct myself about that) He whinnied, there off in the shadows of the trees. But I looked quickly back at Cole, smirking.

  "It was when I was fifteen, that he was most severe about it. But then it faded off, along with the whole of the idea of my marrying, I think."

  "I thought you said that you used to meet with Lords, old ones and young ones, even when you were younger, about getting married?"

  "When did I say that?" I didn't mean for my voice to be harsh, but it was; both harsh and humored at once.

  Cole's responding tone was small. "When you, at the inn, when you spoke of Cyric being jealous."

  "Ah." So, he was right, after all; and he and Minstrel, at least, hadn't been chatting on about my past potential unions. "So I did," I answered, "But there's a difference between a Lord showing interest which might have made Cyric Dracla jealous—and my father, showing interest that might have meant I wound up married before I'd grown a proper length of hair."

  "Fifteen?" Cole echoed. "That's very young..."

  I shrugged. "It had to do with a Lord, Lord Devron was his name, and he was something close to... well, we had a general, just the one, who oversaw our armies, which.... were nothing like those of Akadia, or even Yanartas, you should know. At least not Yanartas as you saw it; we had a smallish force."

  "Something in the hundreds," he detailed.

  "Just so," I followed, not thinking to be surprised that he should know—didn't men always know about armies, and the numbers of other men involved in things? "Anyways, the general's name, was Vossler, and he was a very kind, astute, sort. Very wrapped up in doing his job well, you know, but he was near to retiring, so... it was likely that Lord Devron would succeed hm."

  "Was he good for it, Lord Devron?" Cole asked.

  "Oh, he was the best," I added. "Of those prospects. That was why father wanted me to marry him, so that he would undoubtedly win the position, over the others. Then it would be that Ellia Solidor was married to," I cleared my throat, to mimic my father, "The greatest Warlord of Shaundakul, so then it's general would be it's king."

  "I never knew your father wanted you to marry a soldier," Cole commented.

  I laughed. "Well, why would you? Few knew about it, in Shaundakul, to begin with. He didn't want me to marry a foreigner either, oh, but how he didn't. Nain... you know.. when I went to visit Karatel, that one time with my father, and since he was near to the right age—a full ten years older than me, our people thought there might be a union."

  "Yes, I can imagine that," he followed, "but how many really knew about Karatel and its kings and princes?"

  "All the nobles," I explained.

  "Right. Others should have taken more care."

  "Care about their princess? Most would be happy to hear me unioned. Or, wedded, I mean."

  I recalled about him making fun of me, for using the term of unioned before, and while I'd told him that it was a common enough thing in Shaundakul, I'd lied about that really, and being here so close to Shaundakul, it didn't feel right to lie about it. "Anyways, it didn't matter in the least, since my father was all opposed. But as for Lord Devron, Vossler, and my Scholar. Scholar Padril: he wasn't much for it either. He argued that I should be able to run the country just fine on my own, as queen, without a husband at all, when the time came. But of course my father..." I shook my head. "Perhaps, it was only that he could see me as a child. In any case, one night they were all arguing about it."

  "About Lord Devron?"

  "Yes. General Vossler, Father. My Scholar and I. Father despised that suggestion of Scholar Padril's, that I might rule on my own. He was committed to Lord Devron, I think... since he was such a kind man, and wouldn't he be good for taking care of his helpless daughter."

  "It sounds like you wanted to marry him," Cole prodded.

  "Don't be a dolt, Cole," I snapped, thinking he sounded much too much like Cyric, there, but not wanting to acknowledge it. "You know well, that I was mad about Cyric by then. Do you think I wanted to marry anyone but him?... And at so young...."

  "You wouldn't have married Cyric, then?" Cole asked.

  "Dolt again," I told him. "I would have married Cyric when I first saw him."

  There was a clearing of throat, on Cole's part, but I was past feeling pity for him, where it concerned being overshadowed by Cyric. If he hadn't grasped that clear enough, by now, then he was really too foolish. And was I the one forcing him to swear by staying near me all my days, or was he the one doing it on his own.

  "Can you stop calling me a dolt? I don't think it's a sign of stupidity not to imagine that two children might be married."

  "Then you don't know about me," I retorted. "I should have been a fine wife, so young. Only you're right... I don't think Cyric would have been for it..."

  "Well, I never said that—"

  "But, now you're ruining the story, ahead. So let me finish if you
've asked."

  "What story?"

  "The one about Lord Devron."

  "I don't care about Lord Devron."

  "You care enough to hear about everyone else I've almost married. Why did you ask, if you don't care?"

  "Alright, I do care then. Tell me the story."

  I slit my eyes at him. If only, he didn't always seem so calm, in the placement of his hands, and shoulders, and feet, and everything in such circumstances, then I might have a better read for when he would suddenly over-react, or when it might not matter in the least to him.

  "So they were fighting the three of them. And my father was all for Devron."

  "Kind-hearted Devron."

  "Yes, kind-hearted Devron," I barely kept my tone from scathing. "And I was there—"

  "Pouting, since you were thinking so much of marrying Cyric instead of Lord Devron."

  I narrowed.

  "No crying," he amended.

  I leaned forward, hands past my feet. "I'll have you know, I wasn't thinking of Cyric at all. I was rather more concerned with the proper arguments of the elders. Vossler, and my Scholar, weren't men whose hours were wasted for me to day-dream about Cyric."

  "I imagine you lacked the commitment of a fine wife, in this case, Ellia. It's a good thing we didn't marry young."

  "It's a good thing that you didn't marry young, for you would have driven your wife mad to distraction, with your constant questions then interrupting, but as for me, it didn't matter whether I was thinking of Cyric or not, for Vossler was the one to mention him after all."

  Cole, I imagined, from his rise of chest, was about to go on with some snarkish comment, but then it dropped suddenly, so that I was sure he let the breath of the words go. Then he said, with some confusion, "Vossler?"

  "Yes, Vossler, he was the one to bring up Cyric."

  Was Cole so very good at narrowing? He must have been for me to tell it so well, just by his eyes. Certainly, it seemed to affect the whole of his body. His arms straightening, hands tensing. Shoulders holding tight. —he wasn't nearly so calm in form now, was he? And all this, when I could hardly tell why. I supposed... as Cyric had been at times, getting more upset over those men which were more likely to have me—Cole got more impassioned by talk of Cyric, since it was him who I already belonged to. And if not for him—was there any reason I would not love Cole? I did not think there was.

  "Why would Vossler mention him."

  Oh, that tone with the him, referring to Cyric in such a way; certainly Cole was resentful.

  I cleared my throat, once again for mimicking, "My Father, he went: It's a warlord, it has to be—for only a warring man knows properly how to keep the peace. And it won't be a foreigner. And it won't be Typhus, for he's too old, and it won't be Garon, for he's far too brutish, and it won't be Bostoas, for he's already promised. —And these were all the names of those who might also succeed Vossler in the coming years, but then do you know how Vossler replied?"

  I hardly kept from giggling now, despite Cole's attitude or not, just remembering the glee I had felt, hearing the next part as a young girl. "He said that if father wanted me to marry a warlord so badly, that he may as well find a way to promote Cyric Dracla to General, for he would make a better one than Lord Devron with a far more likely chance of winning my approval. And you should have seen my Father's face.... Well, of course it shut him up about the whole business, quickly. For there was Scholar Padril, there, saying just as much with his silence, as anyone could with words. He knew about Cyric, you know, as I cared for him—wasn't that how the three of us became so close? But in any case... that was why my father gave up on the cause."

  "Because he hated Cyric."

  "No," I deferred, frowning that he should find that such negative thing in the story. "I think it was that he didn't want me to be married at all, really. So as soon as it became a true prospect."

  "He hated him," Cole repeated.

  I grumbled. "I don't see why you should be so distraught about it. He would have disliked you even more, if you'd be pleased to know. He didn't like not being able to see people's faces."

  "Thank you princess; you've made me feel so much better."

  "Don't you take up Cyric's defense all too suddenly, sometimes, Cole? But you've got it wrong; this wasn't meant to be a story, belittling Cyric. In fact, I always meant to tell it to him after..." I paused, then went on, "I almost did once, after I'd realized..."

  I didn't think Cole would care to hear the rest enough for me to say it, so I was going to keep it to my own thoughts; but then when I looked at him, his eyes were so focused and intent, that I went on well, assured he did, "There was a time when I realized, after we were in Akadia, that he wouldn't have been well appreciated in Shaundakul. At least, not in the ways that he wished to."

  I thought of telling Cyric in the chupacabra's cave, during my capture, how I'd thought before he would have been happy just to be able to carry me... but then I hadn't seen that he wasn't advancing the army as he'd been able to in Akadia. "I thought he'd be glad to know that General Vossler thought so much of him; he wasn't the only one—there were others who spoke highly of Cyric's skills, but of course in Shaundakul, soldiers weren't the ones with the power to do anything about ranks and so on. Then there were those who went on about his father. But in battling, truly, those good warriors didn't care for that.... It wasn't just them after all though," I said, thinking of Lox, not just the things he'd said before Cole had killed him, about Cyric, but the mere fact that he'd found him among thousands to be his great underling. "I suppose that's one of the things which I hate most about Lox. And Akadia. And always, what I can't hate about them.... They appreciated Cyric better than Shaundakul did. Because he didn't even get to become an officer or anything...."

  Cole's eyes were steady on me. The fire had burnt down only a little. I thought, after all the upset he'd gotten, that he would have some similar reaction now, but it wasn't; he was all thoughtful and constancy.

  "Ellia?" he said then.

  It seemed so meaningful, just the word, that I replied to it carefully, "Yes, Cole?"

  "Don't you think, if Cyric had preferred the appreciation which meant he became a lieutenant, and was esteemed by men, versus that appreciation which meant he was cared for just by you, that he wouldn't have done all those things he did, before he died?"

  I tried to think this through seriously. It didn't feel as if we were in the dark woods any longer. I'd gone from the chupacabra's cave, to watching Cyric training beneath the the bright sun in Akadia, to exploring his room there in Akadia for the first time. "I suppose not, Cole."

  "Then don't think that way again," he said. "If you could know how happy it would make him, just to be back near you—even like those days in Shaundakul. Then you wouldn't worry that he hadn't been appreciated well enough there. He was really very lucky, wasn't he?"

  I blinked, watching him. I thought of our previous conversation, about those born privileged or not, and got confused, trying to figure whether I or Cyric were, so that it seemed a greater theory than ever, which made it all not matter in any case. But to Cole, I didn't say anything. Only he spoke, glancing from me, then beside him, then tightening his eyes just a bit. "I wish you would sit here closer to me, Ellia," he said. His voice was not very strong.

  Then that was all. And I did not. And we went to sleep a while later.

  #

  Riding up to seeing the mountain peaks, the trees wide, and then at lastly the towers, there wasn't really anything for it in my mind. I was short of breath. Those days spent riding fast, weren't behind us. I felt no need or desire to slow our pace, until the icy smell of Shaundakul was there all around us. Until that path Cyric and I would have taken to the lake was gone by. The forests, were not left the mess that the goblins had made it, as Cole had promised me. The trees, though they were winter trees, had a brightness about them for the spring. Needles littered the floor a little, but mostly they were cleared by wind, and rich grass was spindli
ng up above them. Snow still covered the high-peaks of this mountain, glittering bright, but those spiraling grey towers—they were not in light, as they so seldom were to begin-with. Just watching up at them, it was simple to imagine the cold you would feel there. Hadn't it been spring when Cyric and I had stood there together, but it had been chilly enough to nearly kill us that night spent hidden. Now, even as I stared up, I bit my lip. But Cole was the one to shiver.

  "It's as you saw it?" I wanted to know from him—only giving a moment's notice to the way he was staring up, and his shivering despite his coat.

  He glanced over at me. The two horses, or one horse, one ivoronsu as it was, shifted their hooves, their breaths paced, and all of this likely for our quick halting. They took no care to keep separate from each other now—as Fauna had so often attempted before. I thought "ivoronsu" had rather grown on her. "From what I can tell," he answered. There was a moment's pause. I could see the silver bright in his eyes, but I watched back at Uldin Keep quickly enough. "And you?" he asked.

  "Too similar," I answered clear off. Then I patted Fauna forward, and we took a slow route through the trees.

  As we passed, I saw marks for things—mostly concerning that final battle. That was where Sarx had fallen. That was where Cyric had fought those dozens of men. That was where Lox had held my neck. That was where those two men had drug me to the wagon, and there where I'd first met Tobias, even first met Fauna. That was the place where Cyric and I had shouted at each other. That was where he'd carried me up. That was where he'd undressed me, and where he had kissed me for the first time.

  I touched my head, only then to tell the absence of the crown. Did I really mind that it was gone, for all it meant? I did not think so. I thought that I was glad, I wouldn't be reminded. It would be like those months without it, on Yanartas, when I had been without Cyric Dracla as well.