Forgiving Tess

by Kimberly M. Miller

  Tess smiled. “Sounds good.”

  Josh didn’t tear his gaze away until he noticed a familiar presence beside him.

  “Maybe you should get your jaw off the floor. The kids all think you’ve been hiding a girlfriend.”

  Sheepishly Josh hung his head to mask the warmth creeping up his cheeks. “That bad?” he asked Tom Fisher, his senior pastor, boss, and dear friend.

  The older man nodded as he patted Josh on the back. “I know that expression well—see it all the time in our boys.” Tom continued, “I take it that’s the friend you were telling me about?”

  Josh nodded as Tess and Stu walked to the food line. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought her face was flushed, as if she was giving Stu an earful for not telling her she’d be running into him on the trip. As she gestured her hands wildly, Josh grinned. She was every bit the wildcard he remembered. At least some things about Tess stayed the same.

  “I’m anxious to meet her,” Tom said as he followed Josh’s gaze. “She’s…passionate.”

  Josh chuckled as she continued ranting to her uncle, who appeared bored by his niece’s latest tirade.

  Stu glanced in Josh’s direction and winked before turning to get a piece of chicken.

  Tess continued talking and swinging her arms. Had she even taken a breath?

  “I think she’s taking her uncle to task for not warning her I’d be here,” he said, not bothering to take his gaze off her. “It’s been about twelve years since we’ve seen each other.”

  Tom whistled as he watched the scene. “Shouldn’t she be happy you’re here?”

  Josh laughed. “Maybe, but not without warning. She was…how should I put it?” He searched his mind for words that would soften the blow. The truth was, Tess was a mischievous child, prone to trouble of all sorts. But what kid wasn’t, really? Josh cleared his throat. “She was convinced from the day we met that she would marry me, and she pulled a lot of tricks to get my attention over the years.”

  “Such as?”

  Josh laughed. He’d opened the can of worms and could only blame himself. “Whoopee cushions under seats, chalk drawings for me in the driveway, hiding my deodorant and hair gel. Oh, and there was the time she got creative with a garden hose and doused my prom date. It wasn’t pretty.” Josh turned to his friend.

  Tom’s green eyes danced with laughter. “And how old was she?”

  “Probably twelve or thereabouts.”

  Tom chuckled and clapped Josh on the back again as he handed him a microphone. “You’ll want to greet everyone in a minute, once the food line runs through.” He leaned toward Josh confidentially. “Doesn’t look as if she’s changed any.” The older man walked away, still chuckling as he headed for the food line.

  “Sure doesn’t,” Josh muttered.

  ~*~

  “You aren’t eating your chicken,” Stu said as he tucked into his potatoes, skillfully avoiding Tess’s murderous glare.

  “I’m still waiting for you to answer me.” She drummed her fingers on the table top, not at all concerned with her growling stomach. They’d sat far away from everyone on their team since Tess had scarcely taken a breath once she got rolling. And thankfully, Josh was busy with his usual group of high school girls. It didn’t matter that he’d never pay them any mind, Tess was sure he still enjoyed the attention. She pitied those girls. Joshua Thorne was easy to fall for and tremendously hard to get over.

  “You knew he would be here, didn’t you?” Tess demanded.

  Stu shrugged as he reached for his drink. “It didn’t matter. This is part of the process, Mouthy.”

  Tess growled to keep herself from saying what she wanted to. Now that she was renewed and reformed she knew she couldn’t resort to angry name-calling no matter how much she wanted to. “I’m not sure I buy into your process anymore,” she muttered.

  “Eat or you’ll pass out.” Stu finished his potatoes and wiped his mouth.

  Irritated, Tess took a bite to appease him. She glanced at Josh who was talking and laughing with a group of students.

  Stu watched her watching him and smiled. “Josh is a good man. He’s grown up, Tess, same as you.”

  Tess regarded her uncle, horrified, when it hit her. “You’re trying to marry me off, aren’t you? No one worthwhile at home will take me so you’ve dragged me all the way to Florida because Josh is so good he might be game. How many cows did you offer him?”

  Stu rewarded her hysterics with a laugh. “He doesn’t seem like the farming type,” he said. “But you could do worse than to be a pastor’s wife.”

  Tess raised an eyebrow. “Are you trying to give my father a heart attack?” She dropped her forehead into her palm and shook her head. “I. Can’t. Be. Here.”

  Stu reached across the table and gently placed his hand on her arm. “This is moving on. You got no choice in it, kiddo.”

  Tess raised her head. She drew a deep breath and nodded as Stu went back to eating. She’d spent enough time in church and studying the Bible with him to be sure her uncle believed she was ready to be pushed ahead in her faith.

  “Can’t blame your old uncle for dreaming about your childhood wishes coming true. Besides, I did work out a dowry—I mean, in case. I figured a few rental properties should be a fair trade.”

  Tess groaned, even as she was beginning to calm down. Uncle Stu wanted the best for her. He didn’t possess an ulterior motive except the one he honestly shared.

  “He’s not interested in me,” she muttered as she lifted her fork. “And I’m not interested in him. It’s been a long time.”

  Stu snorted. “The man has no poker face. He was interested as soon as he looked at you, whether he admits it or not.”

  Tess met Stu’s gaze as they shared a smile. “He never did have a poker face,” she said. “That’s why we always got caught.” Tess’s hope that she might enjoy herself—really and truly enjoy herself—for the first time in two years, began to take root.

  But 2 Corinthians 5:17 came to her mind. She still struggled to remember verses, and yet when it came to that one, it was etched somewhere deep inside her, a lifeline she clung to daily. Quietly, she recited to herself, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” She mulled the verse for several long moments as she stirred the ice around in her cup. “But wouldn’t it be wrong to…not tell him? I mean…if he talks to Brody…” she began.

  Stu shrugged. “If anything needs to be said it will come out in due time, the way any other topic would.”

  Tess smiled as she considered not living in fear. Despite being paranoid she’d slip up again and disappoint everyone. Maybe the trip to Florida would be exactly what she needed to move to the next place in her healing. She could hardly fathom that something she’d so dreaded might in fact be the best thing to happen to her in a long time. “OK. I’ll enjoy being myself for a while. No worries, no drama, no apologies.”

  Stu winked. “Good. Now, eat up and go get your ice cream. We’ll be pounding nails tomorrow.”

  3

  For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.

  Romans 3:23

  Tess stuffed her back pack and small duffle bag under the bed and gave them a kick for good measure. Before he’d left to change his clothes, Josh promised he’d be back in under an hour to take her for ice cream. Although Tess trusted what Uncle Stu said, that didn’t mean her confidence was back. She still feared she’d say something stupid. Or that Josh would call her brother before he saw her again.

  Tess probably should have made more of an effort with her appearance but all she could manage was to get a shower and change into a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt. What good would frills do? Not that she brought any frills with her anyway. She’d only packed essentials, thinking that a mission trip meant she was supposed to be roughing it.

  “You’re not going like that, are you?” Morgan Farrell asked, startling Tess into turning away from the mi
rror, where she’d been yanking her damp hair into a messy bun.

  Tess shrugged. She and Morgan were friendly in high school, but lost touch in the years that followed. They’d reconnected recently, and to Tess’s relief, Morgan was very encouraging with regard to her new faith. They’d drawn closer as they both worked at the same assisted living facility and were often paired for leading workouts or crafts with the residents.

  Tess enjoyed Morgan’s positive and kind attitude, and yet she dreaded talking to anyone about Josh lest the whole thing fizzle like a dream.

  Morgan pushed Tess’s hands away from her hair and reached for a hairbrush.

  “We’re only going to talk…” Tess whined as Morgan shoved her onto a nearby chair.

  “Pshhh! Right. I bet he only wants to talk to you.” Morgan gently took Tess’s hair out of the bun and began brushing it. “A little lipstick and eyeliner go a long way.”

  “I’m aware,” Tess said.

  “Tess…”

  “Oh, come on! He’s a pastor! They don’t…”

  Morgan laughed. “They don’t? Please. They’re people, Tess. And many pastors are even married.” She feigned shock before muttering, “Besides, it was written all over his face what he was thinking.”

  “He asked how my brother was!” Tess exclaimed, her words tinged with doubt.

  “Right.” Morgan began working Tess’s long hair from its messy waves into a loose braid. Tess squirmed as Morgan pulled lip gloss from her stash and began applying it to her friend’s lips.

  Tess grimaced. “I don’t want him to think I’m trying to impress him.”

  Morgan shook her head. “Shh…” She waved her hands to get Tess to be quiet.

  Tess glared at her friend as she finished the lip gloss.

  “Now, some eyeliner…”

  “Nope.” Tess stood to signal she was done playing dress-up. She loved Morgan and what she was trying to do but not only was it a waste of time, Tess refused to morph back into the demon of her past. And that was exactly what make-up did to her. “I realize you’re more…experienced in dating.” Morgan blushed before continuing. “But sometimes you can be completely blind.”

  Tess grabbed her purse from the bed as the door opened and their bunkmates, middle-aged sisters, Sharon and Shelley Parsons, entered.

  Sharon smiled as she yanked her red, but graying, hair into a ponytail at the back of her head. “I ran into that handsome pastor you were talking to earlier, Tess,” she said. “He’s out there as though he’s waiting for his first date, pacing back and forth with his hands stuffed into his pockets.”

  Shelley gave her a whack that was only appropriate from one sister to another.

  “Ow!” Sharon exclaimed. “What was that for?”

  “Because it isn’t our business,” Shelley hissed. She tossed a wary glance at Tess, who was already aware what the woman was thinking.

  “I was just telling Tess that he…” Morgan began, but quieted quickly when Tess shot her a murderous glare. Morgan cleared her throat and grabbed her bag to unpack.

  “Thanks,” Tess said. “I need to go.”

  Sharon nodded.

  Morgan grinned. “Have fun. Remember they said the doors lock automatically at eleven.”

  Tess laughed as she stood in the doorway. “Pretty sure he can open the door if we’re late.” She glanced at the horrified faces of the Parsons sisters as her face warmed. “Not that we’ll be late—never mind.” She exited quickly, wondering when she’d start thinking before talking.

  ~*~

  Josh’s mouth went dry when Tess emerged through the doors of the women’s bunkhouse. While she was dressed casually, something about the way her long hair was pulled back, and the slight bit of lip gloss shining on her lips told him that she, too, considered this encounter to be bigger than the promised ice cream. “Hey,” he said, willing his racing pulse to slow down.

  Tess nodded toward the helmet tucked under his arm. “You ride a motorcycle? Since when?”

  Surprised by her interest, Josh smiled. “I rode a scooter all the time when I was in the mission field with my parents. Always missed it so I bought a bike when I got settled here.”

  Tess nodded, thinking. Finally, she held up her hands. “Please don’t say it’s a three-wheeler.”

  Josh burst into uncontrollable laughter. “Why would I ride a three-wheeler?”

  Tess shrugged. “You are five years older than I am,” she said, her face serious. “Usually older men go for that sort of thing.”

  Josh laughed again and gave Tess a playful shove, as he often did when they were kids. “I didn’t buy a three-wheeler, you goof.”

  “Sidecar?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

  Josh laughed openly, shaking his head. “No sidecar either.”

  Tess sighed with relief as she tossed her purse strap over her head cross-wise. “Thank goodness. I would definitely go back to the bunkhouse to get some of the old ladies for you, otherwise.”

  Josh had yet to stop smiling. He couldn’t remember the last time he was able to carry on a conversation that didn’t involve listening to someone’s problems in an effort to help solve them. Not that he minded being a pastor. But he was always “on” and so rarely got the opportunity for unguarded moments. The time with Tess was already a breath of fresh air.

  “Come on, Tornado. Let’s see if my bike is up to your high standards.”

  “So if you’re not into three-wheelers or sidecars, what do you like?” she asked as she followed him toward the parking lot.

  “I’m pretty old school. But I like British bikes.” He gestured toward his cycle. “We could walk, but…”

  Her eyes lit up when she saw his motorcycle.

  His chest puffed with pride.

  “No way,” Tess said. “I love to ride. Besides, I’m dying to see how you handle your chopper, wimpy.”

  Tess walked confidently toward the motorcycle, not tentatively or with any fear. Most women were fascinated by the idea of the bike, but it was more about the fantasy than the reality of the machine itself. Tess’s approach showed that she wanted to appreciate the motorcycle, not what others would think of her. She knelt and began giving the bike a thorough inspection from tire to tire. “You lower it? And custom handlebars?” She whistled and shook her head. “Didn’t know pastors made that kind of money.”

  Josh chuckled, amused by her adoration of his beloved motorcycle. “Birthday present to myself. I got a good deal on the bike, so I figured a few modifications, the saddlebags, new paint job, and seat were a good start for now. I plan to do some other work later if I can get the time and money. Make it a little more classic, vintage.”

  Tess nodded in appreciation and stood. “Nice,” she said and accepted the helmet Josh offered her as he tucked his own under his arm with a smile.

  “So you ride?” he asked.

  “Yep. Haven’t taken it out yet this year… still too cold. I’ll get it ready for summer when I get back.”

  Josh couldn’t mask his surprise. While Tess had always been a rebel, it shocked him that she owned a bike and understood them. Neither Brody nor her father drove one that he remembered. Still, he’d been gone for twelve years. A lot could happen in twelve years. It sure had for him.

  “So, what do you have?” Josh asked.

  Tess laughed. “If it was a dog it would be a mutt. I have a little bit of everything in it. Whatever I can afford that’s awesome makes it mine,” she said as she went back to inspecting Josh’s bike.

  “What modifications have you done?” Josh asked.

  Tess smiled. “I monkeyed on the engine a little, got some new wheels. We’ll see what she’s like when I pull her out. I’d love to jazz up the paint this year if nothing else,” she said, lifting her helmet with a wicked grin. “So, can a straight-laced pastor drive this thing properly?”

  “Oh, I’m looking forward to surprising you, Tornado,” Josh said with a laugh.

  Tess deftly pulled the helmet over her hair, but not b
efore Josh caught a glimpse of her grin. “All right, let’s go,” she said. “Take me for a ride, Jed.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Josh pulled his own helmet down and got on the motorcycle, waiting for Tess to get on behind him. He started the bike and drove down the road, ready to show her what he could do.

  ~*~

  Despite the ice cream shop being a short walk away, Josh drove through the streets for nearly twenty minutes anyway. It was the first time he’d been on the bike with a passenger and he was enjoying it. Having Tess cling to him as he steered into curves and onto busier streets where he easily maneuvered around slower cars seemed natural. It was with disappointment that he finally parked outside the small ice cream shop called Dips that sat immediately off the beach. Josh got off the bike, yanking his head free of his helmet. He ignored a nervous twitch as he nodded toward the motorcycle. “Well?” he asked.

  Tess pulled her helmet off and gave a reserved smile. “Not bad,” she said. “But I could show you a thing or two.”

  Josh laughed as he set their helmets on the bike. “It’s been a God-send down here. I can get wherever I need to be a lot faster.”

  “And you don’t need to put it away for the winter. I’m crazy jealous there.” Tess followed him to the ice cream shop.

  “Oh, but I miss the winters. All that snow for skiing and sled riding, tubing…” Josh smiled and she smiled back as he held the door open. “Besides, the constant heat and humidity are murder on my hair.” He winked.

  “I know what it’s doing to mine,” she muttered.

  Josh tugged on her braid. “You could always go back to pigtails.”

  Tess laughed. “No, thanks.”

  They stepped into line and Josh placed his order—a large cone with peanut butter ice cream.

  Tess made a face. “A small cherry cone please.”

  “I was sure you’d be a sucker for the cherry,” he said. “Which will only make it easier to get you talking.”

  “Some things don’t change, Jed. Give me cherry ice cream and I’ll spill my deepest secrets.” She sobered and cleared her throat, her face clouded with something Josh couldn’t identify.