Forgiving Tess

by Kimberly M. Miller

  Tess was seething inside but doing her best to squelch the anger. “Why is it that my father doesn’t call me to ask what’s going on?”

  Stu met Tess’s gaze. “No one’s upset. It’s a great idea. The best one in a long time, honestly. I only wonder if you understand what you’re in for—him being here and you being so far away.”

  Tess sighed heavily. “There isn’t anything going on.”

  Stu grunted. “Right. The way you two stare at each other gives me heartburn.”

  Tess groaned. “Do you think I’d willingly let him try to attach himself to me with my past? He’s a pastor!” Tess shook her head and went back to rearranging her food. “It wouldn’t be fair…no matter how handsome, sweet, funny, or dimpled he is…” Tess took a drink of coffee.

  Stu was grinning at her. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “One day at a time.”

  “You’ve said that before…” she muttered.

  “Good morning!” Josh appeared, balancing a plate full of food along with a cup of coffee. “Mind if I join you guys?”

  Stu grinned as he shook his head. “Not at all, Pastor. I was just telling Tess I wanted to check out the building before we got started. I saw something with the shingles that needed a second glance.”

  Josh looked worried as he sat across from Tess. “Nothing bad, I hope.”

  “Nope. I’ll catch up with you two later.” Stu left them.

  Josh smiled. “I interrupted?”

  Tess took a quick bite of food and chewed slowly to avoid answering. She swallowed as Josh started eating. “I should get over to the youth center too,” she said.

  “Hey.”

  Tess met Josh’s eyes. He smiled, and she melted into her seat.

  “It’s all right,” he said gently.

  “Is it?”

  Josh nodded reassuringly as Tess’s pulse quickened. “I shouldn’t still feel like I’m six-years-old around you,” she muttered. “You’re…you and I’m…”

  Josh smiled. “You’re just as you should be. A tornado,” he said, leaning toward her confidentially. “Slow down. I’m just a guy with a crush.”

  Tess exhaled slowly. She needed to trust. As her reservations began to diminish, she took a bite of her breakfast.

  Josh calmly changed the subject. “I’m not sure I’ve done a very good job pastoring the kids this week. I’ll make up for it when you’re gone.” He took a drink of coffee. “We’re showing a movie later and need to get some snacks. Think you’d be able to help me pull it together after lunch?”

  “You’re letting us go after lunch?” Tess asked, shocked. “But we’re not even…” While they’d made significant progress over the week, Tess was sure they could get some painting done and at least get the carpet ordered.

  Josh shook his head. “We got a lot done. We wanted to do something fun with you guys before you leave.” He changed the subject again. “So, you didn’t tell me that Brody’s a full professor now.”

  “What? Oh. Right. He is.” Tess sighed as she went back to pushing her food around her plate. “Sorry. We…don’t talk like we used to. He’s busier now.”

  “And you are too. He said you work all the time.”

  Tess glanced up, surprised. “I guess I do,” she said with a smile. “Lots of loans.”

  “Yeah.” Josh resumed eating. “You better eat. I don’t want you fainting from hunger. I need to get the most out of my crew before you head home.”

  Tess’s cheeks warmed as she smiled and shook her head. “I’m no wilting flower,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”

  “No doubt.”

  Tess thought for a bit. “Jed?”

  “Hmmm?” Josh lifted his coffee cup and took a drink.

  “Why aren’t you already dating someone?”

  The ever-present smile faded from his face, and Josh set his cup down. He leaned back in his chair, stretching his long legs under the table so that his feet brushed hers.

  He shrugged. “I haven’t dated in a long time. Didn’t know anyone worth spending time with,” he said. “Why?”

  His answer was solid but almost too simple and perfect. “Don’t get a big head or anything but you’re a great guy with a good job. Maybe you’re commitment phobic or secretly in the mafia…there has to be something wrong with you. And I’d like to know it up front before I get involved. I mean, you may not care what I’ve done, but I’m really not sure what you’ve been into over the last twelve years.”

  Josh laughed. “Well, you aren’t lacking in the imagination department. The truth is, Tornado, I was engaged when I was in college. It didn’t work out. I switched schools and went to the missionary field as soon as I graduated. After that, I guess things got even messier.”

  Tess relaxed enough that she managed to eat a little of her now-cold food. She nodded. “Messy, how?”

  “Messy like I’m not sure how a pastor dates without hurting his whole congregation if it doesn’t go to marriage…and then there’s my parents who remind me constantly what my mother went through when they led a church. It might surprise you, but people can be really judgmental.”

  Tess bit her lip. That was one thing she understood too well. She ignored the second part of what he’d said, fearing it was too close to her own life, and went for the first part instead. “I would hope that your congregation would recognize that sometimes relationships aren’t meant to be, and it’s better to find that out before you get married instead of after when it’s even harder.”

  “You’d think that,” Josh said. “What about you? I wouldn’t want you to get a big head either but you’re a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and spontaneous woman who is in love with the Lord. Why aren’t you involved with anyone?”

  “We sound like a mutual admiration society,” Tess said, as her insides churned. She set down her fork, hoping her face gave nothing away. The problem, of course, was that she’d had too many boyfriends to count—some she could barely even remember because they’d only been a passing distraction in her search for fun and love. She forced a smile. “I don’t want to tie myself down. I wanted to get out and make my own way.” She didn’t elaborate and was relieved when Josh didn’t ask her to.

  He nodded and began collecting his things. “Want to go for a ride after the movie tonight?” he asked. “One more ice cream?” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand gently.

  The familiarity of the gesture reminded her that she was wanted by someone who believed she was something she wasn’t. The idea both pained her and gave her peace. She wasn’t sure what to do with her warring emotions, so she squeezed his hand back. “I’d love to,” she said as she downed the last of her coffee. “But only if I get to drive.”

  “I already let you drive,” Josh said as he stood. “Besides, it’s my bike.”

  “And you drive it like my grandma,” she said, following him to the garbage can.

  “I think Violet would give us both a run for our money…”

  “Hey, Josh.” Fred Sullivan stepped next to the garbage can where Josh and Tess were tossing their plates.

  He was another pastor with Josh’s church. “Keith’s trying to find you. Something about the paint.”

  “Oh, right. Thanks, Fred.” Josh smiled at Tess. “I’ll see you over there?”

  Tess nodded and headed for the door alone, hoping to sort her thoughts before that ride with Josh.

  7

  Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

  James 1:3

  “Your phone’s ringing again,” Morgan said a few hours later as the sun beat down on Tess’s shoulders, reminding her that she would be sorry she forgot her sunscreen in her earlier rush to find Josh.

  Tess sighed heavily and yanked the phone from her pocket, glad for a distraction. While she’d hoped it would be an easy day, that wasn’t the case.

  Some of the teens made a few mistakes when they were putting shingles on a portion of the roof.

  Tess was n
ow following Morgan as she yanked them off while Tess replaced them.

  Uncle Stu came by every so often to be sure all was well. It was slow and tedious work.

  Tess had been ignoring her ringing phone all morning.

  Morgan grabbed her water. “Break time,” she said with a smile.

  Tess pressed the phone to her ear. “Yeah?” She plugged her other ear with a finger as she listened, trying to ignore the loud music and yelling from the teens and other workers.

  “Theresa? It’s your mother.”

  “Mom?” Tess sat to keep from falling over the shock of her mother calling.

  Morgan made a face that showed her worry as Tess rolled her eyes in an effort to deflect her friend’s concern. And yet that didn’t stop her own stomach from fluttering. Tess was never close with her mother, so if she was calling now it could only mean one thing.

  “Your father mentioned he spoke to Josh Thorne the other day and that he was quite interested in you,” Karen Carson said sternly. “What’s going on?”

  Tess sighed. “I’m on a roof, Mom. It’s not really a good time.”

  “You’re on a roof?” Karen squeaked. “Stu truly needs to get the notion out of his head that you’re a boy.”

  Her mother would prefer her daughter to be getting a manicure rather than building a youth center. Yet another reason they weren’t close.

  “Did you need something?” she asked, hoping to end the call quickly.

  “What? Well, no, I…wanted to remind you that I’m sure Josh is interested in a lady, not a buddy, but it appears I’m too late for that,” Karen said. “Please tell me you’re wearing a bra.”

  Tess groaned.

  “Well it wouldn’t be far-fetched, would it?” Unfortunately, the statement was true. Or it was a short time ago.

  Tess rolled her eyes anyway.

  “I’m completely naked and helping Morgan put the roof on while Josh watches. He’s one of those free-love, 1960’s kind of pastors,” she said. “I gotta go. I got a splinter in my…” she hung up and stuffed the phone into her pocket.

  Morgan had dissolved into a fit of giggles. “You’re terrible!”

  “I’m terrible? My mother just asked if I was wearing a bra after I told her I was on a roof!” Tess shook her head as her phone rang again. With a heavy sigh she yanked it from her pocket and pressed it to her ear. “I’m wearing a bra, Mother, I promise.”

  “Ehem. Well.” The distinctive voice of her boss, Ashley-Marie Hinton crossed the miles and practically pulled Tess’s ear into the phone and stomped on it.

  Tess made a face as her insides plummeted. She really should remember to check her caller ID when answering the phone. “Oh. Sorry.”

  “I certainly hope you are wearing a bra,” Ashley-Marie continued. “I was wondering if I could put you on the schedule for a double shift next Saturday. I’m strapped.”

  “Um, sure. That’s fine.”

  “Excellent. And please, in case this bra thing is a pattern, be sure to wear one to work. I don’t want the residents or their families to get the wrong idea…or should I say the right idea, about you…”

  “Thanks, Ash. I can always count on you for words of wisdom.”

  “Now, listen here. The only reason I gave you this job is because your uncle has been a real peach when it comes to making repairs for us—and we can’t afford anyone else with his level of ability. But that does not mean that I am afraid of cutting you loose.”

  Tess made faces that sent Morgan into giggles again. When she was finished, Tess drew a deep breath. “I understand, Ashley-Marie. My apologies.”

  “Humph!” the phone was dead before Tess could even say good-bye. She hung up, turned it off and stuffed it back into her pocket.

  “Why was our favorite boss calling you?”

  “Overtime,” Tess muttered. “She plays it as though she’s doing me a favor when it’s obvious that she loves having me around to torture.” Tess took a long drink of water and smiled. “But of course, more time together means I can torture her too—and I’m much more creative.”

  Morgan laughed as they went back to work.

  “Are you working up there or gabbing?” Josh asked, shielding his eyes as he looked up.

  Tess rolled her eyes. “Lighten up or I’ll make you cry like a little girl when I drive your motorcycle tonight.”

  Josh grimaced. “I never said you could drive it.”

  A few of the teens stopped working, chuckling as they listened in on another flirtatious conversation.

  “Mmm…maybe not, but I never said I’d ask permission either.” Tess adjusted her tool belt as she prepared to get back to work.

  “Oh! She got you!” Denise squealed with laughter as the others joined in.

  “Yeah, yeah, she got me all right,” Josh muttered, shaking his head. He winked.

  Tess sensed a warm flush crawling up her cheeks which made her grateful for sunburn.

  “Watch yourself up there,” Josh said, worry creasing his brow. “Oh, I was supposed to tell you guys we’re wrapping it up in the next hour. Lunch at one—movies and pizza.”

  Tess went back to hammering. “Better be mushrooms on that pizza,” she muttered.

  “You’re demanding. I’m second-guessing myself about you.”

  The kids were still listening.

  Josh was still grinning, clearly smitten with her.

  She shook her head and went back to work, glad they weren’t in Maple Ridge since his acting skills needed work. “I warned you,” Tess murmured.

  Josh smiled, nearly blinding Tess with his white teeth and dimples. “And I told you I could handle it. Mushrooms it is, Tornado.”

  ~*~

  A few hours later Josh waited anxiously in the parking lot. That Tess was leaving weighed heavily on him. There wasn’t time to develop anything between them and he wasn’t sure a long-distance relationship was the answer. He might even consider accepting that she would be a pleasant memory if something more wasn’t mean to be, but even that was too difficult to figure at this early point in their relationship.

  When Morgan walked out of the bunkhouse alone, Josh smiled, hoping to appear casual.

  “Tess is almost ready,” she said. “I’m taking a walk over to the beach with some of your kids.”

  “Oh? Good.” Josh nodded stupidly.

  Morgan was sizing him up, deciding if he was worthy of her friend.

  His respect grew for the short redhead. He didn’t know Morgan well when they were younger. In fact, it struck him that he wasn’t even sure she and Tess were friends in school. In his memory, Morgan was a rather serious, studious girl who’d kept to herself and her schoolwork. She wasn’t the kind of girl Tess would have been friends with, though she’d always been ready with a smile and encouragement for the students who’d been picked on or abused. Was that what her relationship with Tess was about now?

  “She could really use someone like you to believe in her,” Morgan said gently. “I…don’t think she’s been here long enough to be sure if you’re serious. So…are you serious?”

  Josh shrugged and smiled. “Week-long serious? Or are you asking about life-long serious?” he asked before dismissing the words. “Either way, I don’t know. Is she serious?” The conversation was making him think he should check a box about his intentions.

  “She’s figuring herself out—doing the teenaged thing a little late, I guess.”

  Josh nodded and drew a deep breath as he glanced at the door of the bunkhouse. “Is she…OK?” he asked gently.

  Morgan smiled and nodded. “She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I’m not sure she believes it yet. The worst is behind her.”

  Again, Josh nodded, a sense of relief slowly settling over him.

  Morgan gently touched his arm. “Whatever she tells you, she’s doing her best to make it right now. She’s changed. Completely.”

  The door to the bunkhouse opened and Tess stepped outside wearing a pair of jeans and a cute T-shirt.
Her long hair flowed behind her in waves and it appeared she’d taken the time to put on make-up.

  Josh’s stomach fluttered. Morgan’s giggle brought him back to reality.

  “Go get her, Pastor,” she whispered before smiling at Tess. “You two kids have fun.”

  Tess stopped in front of him, one hand on her hip the other held out as if she expected him to give her something. Her grin was sassy.

  He watched her stupidly, unsure what to say. “You look beautiful…” he stammered.

  Tess sighed heavily and shook her head. “Give me the keys, grannie.”

  Josh shook his head with a huge smile. “No way.” He handed her a helmet and straddled the bike, patting the seat behind him. “You’re in for the ride of your life.” Josh fought the desire to steal a glance at her and instead tugged his helmet on. He caught her heavy sigh as she sat behind him, placing her hands gently on his sides. “This better be good, Jed, or I swear I’m not giving you my phone number,” she whispered.

  He laughed. “Oh, it’ll be good. It’ll be really good. I may even get my own special ringtone.”

  “Mmm…cocky, aren’t you?”

  “You always said I was.” Josh didn’t wait for her response as he started the motorcycle and drove away.

  ~*~

  An hour later, Josh pulled into a crowded parking lot and stepped off the bike. There was a freshly-written speeding ticket in his pocket and a huge smile on his face as he yanked his helmet off, tucked it under his arm and reached a free hand to help Tess off the bike. “Well?” he asked proudly. “Will I get your number now?”

  Tess took her helmet off. She was smiling. “We’ll see.” She raised an eyebrow and assessed their surroundings. “What are we doing here?” she asked, taking in the numerous softball games going on around them.

  “A lot of my kids play so I figured we might as well watch a while. Something fun to do.”

  Tess nodded as Josh took her helmet and placed it, along with his, on the motorcycle. A bit shyly, he reached for her hand and took it in his. “Shall we?” he asked.